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Remarry If Left First Spouse

If divorce is a sin and God will forgive and forget your sins when you truly repent, then why can't a person remarry if they left their first spouse?

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 ---Kenny on 12/12/06
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Kenny - There is a BIG difference if the person left his/her spouse and if the spouse left that person....

We are told not to leave/divorce, and that is quite solid Biblically - though I accept that many churches have concerns about it. The question about what to do if your spouse leaves you is dealt with only once, by Jesus - there He says that if you remarry, the spouse who left you is [I think] responsible for you committing adultery - I think
---James on 4/5/11

RichardC -The Bible gives no reason for for divorce ...

The church from its very beginning has recognized divorce for a variety of reasons including unfaithfulness or dissertion.

Each case must be considered separately and the church has been empowered to make decisions regarding this subject.
---leonia on 4/3/11

The Bible gives no reason for for divorce - people look casually at MATTHEW 19:9 and think they can for fornication, If this is so then there would be contradictions in the Bible.
Matthew 19:6 So then , they are no longer two but one flesh,Therfore what God has join together,let not man separate.
This to say that 19:9 your not to forgive a person for fornication?

Go back to Matthew 19:8 - He said to them, Moses, because of the hardness of your heart, permitted you to divorces your wives, but from the beginning it was not so,
( Hardness of ones heart has to do with being unsaved, - Jesus eliminated cause of fornication in 19:6 )
---RICHARDC on 4/3/11

Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

If you left your spouse and remarried you are then LIVING in adultery. In order to be truely forgiven you MUST get out of that adulterous mariage.

I think the Catholic CVhurch got this one right with anunment
---francis on 3/30/11

depends on which side of paradise you stand.

if your sin is premeditated and you count on mercy and grace...????
---aka on 3/29/11

Mike_DeSorbo - **It KILLS me that so much false teaching is being taught in churches. the bible gives us 2 reasons for divorce, adultery and death. If neither one of those are to happen, you should NOT divorce your spouse.

Mr 10:11 And he said to them, Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her,

It is just possible that Christ really meant - 'whoever divorces his wife in order to marry another' committ adultery?

---leej on 3/29/11

Look people can quote the scriptures all day and if you have it in your heart to find a way around them you will. Read Romans 1:18-32 It's this simple: God not man created marriage and everything God created is Holy and Honarable. To disrespect marriage is to disrespect the creator:GOD. It is never the will of God to see a marriage end and the only out he gave was IF there is hardening of your heart against an adulterous spouse. Meaning if your spouse cheated and you are so hurt that you can't get over it and it festers until you hate, it's best to end it because that is putting you soul at risk.
---Marie on 3/29/11

If you separate from an unbeliever its only a matter of time before they commit adultery and you are freed from the marriage.
---Jasheradan on 3/29/11

It KILLS me that so much false teaching is being taught in churches. the bible gives us 2 reasons for divorce, adultery and death. If neither one of those are to happen, you should NOT divorce your spouse. You can separate from an unbeliever but that does NOT mean you can marry someone else. You are suupposed to pray for their salvation and show the love of Christ and treat them as such.

Think of it this way, think about it this way, How many times have we left/abandoned Jesus? Does he trade in HIS bride for something better? NO

Believe me, I hate knowing this fact, I am going through a 2nd separation right now from my wife and kids and I don't think she has any interest in fixing it, but divorce is forbidden
---Mike_DeSorbo on 3/29/11

Jesus prohibited divorce except for adultery, that included lying about ones virginity. The non adulterer could remarry. The adulterer, and anyone marrying one, is entering a prohibited marriage. A divorce without cause, was no divorce, and so, another marriage was a type of bigamy. The exception is in 1Corinthians 7:15. If the unbeliever departs, the Christian can remarry because the marriage was not 'in the Lord'. Matthew 19:9, 1Corinthians 7:27-28 allow remarriage. This isn't a punishment, but recognizes that person is disqualified.
Deuteronomy 22:17-19, 28-29, 24:1-4, Proverbs 2:17 (forsaketh husband), Isaiah 54:4-8, Jeremiah 3:1, Malachi 2:14-16, Matthew 5:31-32, 19:3-12, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18, 1Corinthians 6:15-16, 7:10-17, 27.
---Glenn on 8/16/09

1 Corinthians says that if a believer leaves his spouse he should reconcile. (Paraphrasing) The only way a divorced person should remarry is if there was adultery on the part of the other spouse, or if the other spouse remarries.
---Madison1101 on 9/30/08

Kenny, Please ask Father God this question. Jesus said you can divorce your spouse for reason of adultery, but I can't find a scripture where Jesus said you can remarry if the reason you divorced is adultery. Jesus never mentioned remarrying. I urge you to ask Father God this question please. Let Father lead you and guide you in the way in which you should go. I will counsel you with my eye upon you is what the word says in the Psalms.
---Donna9759 on 7/31/07

Ralph7477 - Obviously you have never suffered emotional abuse. There is such a thing, I assure you.
---Pat on 1/19/07

1 Corinthians 7:26-28 (King James Version)26I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.

27Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

28But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

Pray, only God can tell you what is right!!!
---Shaun on 1/15/07

Becos God said "Till death do us part" not when u want to. Remember, God instituted the first marriage at Eden with Adam n Eve and doing what u want 2do is a sin. You commit wrong. Thous shalt not commit adultery. So get that idea out of your mind and stay and improve the marrieage. You could be at fault.
---mam on 1/5/07

We read I Corinthians 7:33 & 7:34 about people (the married Man cares how to please his wife, and the virgin cares about the affairs of God); The church did frown on divorce outside of Adultery.A heart not devoted to God will stray and have "Worldly" desire.Jesus is more pleased with Singles, because their Hearts are faithful and more devoted to His Will.
---rosem4839 on 1/4/07

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1Cor.6:19 say; your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost and is not your own.
---ShawnM.T on 12/27/06

1Cor.6:20: For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
---ShawnM.T on 12/27/06

All that we do should glorify God. The reason for a Holy Union is to help one another to be closer in the spirit to God. We join in marriage for this reason only. Matt.19:9: And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Theres no sin in getting a divorced.
---ShawnM.T on 12/27/06

1Cor.7:8: I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
1Cor.7:9: But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
---ShawnM.T on 12/27/06

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Fornication is sin against your own body; defiling it in any way.
Adultery is any sin without the body.
---ShawnM.T on 12/27/06

Matt.19:9: And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
---ShawnM.T on 12/27/06

1 Cor.6:18: Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that commiteth fornication sinneth against his own body.
---ShawnM.T on 12/27/06

1Cor6:12: All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
1Cor6:13: Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.
---ShawnM.T on 12/27/06

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Matt.19:8: He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
---ShawnM.T on 12/27/06

Deb, I cannot appologise for the Gospel I myself would agree with you but the word of God shows Christ praying asking for Gods will to prevail and not his. He was human as we are but the example is to suffer with him is to also reign with him, which is it would you prefer?. What will be your advantage to gain the worlds example of marriage and then lose your salvation or suffer because of the Gospel sake and gain salvation?
---Carla5754 on 12/27/06

Don't you know that anything we do for Christs name sake we will gain, But to deny the Gospel of Jesus Christ will lead to physical/spritual death. What is marriage if God will not Honnor it in Heaven, I can assure you that a life without been married is not the end of the world, and if the stakes as as outlined in the Bible which it is then I can only encourage you to go online and bible search the key words Adultery ect and study.
---Carla5754 on 12/27/06

Ralph, how true. There are many here already seeking the next mate and have not cleaned up the first one or two marriages... Wondering why they're sitting on the curb, waiting for the next streetcar coming around the corner. They throw the Word around, like Cinderella trying on a shoe. Some are sick at heart, because they can't figure out which "prince" to pick.
Disfunctional marriages will continue, until they STOP and allow the function of God and the Holy Spirit to reign in their hearts.
---Deb on 12/25/06

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I wonder if God has this same perception that sexuall sin is the worst of all sins and the only justification for divorce?
Violence ("a bit of slapping around" indeed ... what a flippant term for domestic violence which sometimes is nearly fatal) ... abandonment ...
Oh dear ... how we are so keen to judge others for "making poor choices" when they are the victims.
---alanUKquent64534 on 12/25/06

Deb, basically you are asking if it is permissible to remarry if your first spouse was simply not nice or was offensive in any way. Don't you think that everybody would have justification to remarry in that case? The term "abuse" is way overused, but it works well to create victims. Bottom line is that sometimes we make poor choices and sometimes life is not fair. Very few people are willing to accept that.
---ralph7477 on 12/25/06

Emotional abuse: when your partner isolates you from friends and family, forces you (through threats and brainwashing) to behave in the ways he/she wants you to behave, ridicules you for expressing yourself, or ignores you for long periods of time if you don't do or say exactly what they want you to, creating a sense of powerlessness, fear and dependency. Just as we wouldn't want that kind of treatment for our children, I don't believe a loving God would want that for any of His children either.
---Peggy on 12/24/06

Carla, Ralph - where does this leave someone who wants to remarry because their husband played on the computer too much? Or maybe there was some slapping around? Or simply ignored them? A combo physical/emotional abuse situation. Are they spiritually free to remarry?
---Deb on 12/23/06

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Ralph Bless You,
You took the words right out of the Bible, People justify themselves with all sorts of nonsense reasons and ones that are not even listed but because some are ministering (mainly) women preachers in Church, teaching others to do so, believe their lifestyle can be taught alongside the Gospel already outlined in the Bible. Divorce/ Re-marriage is Only granted to those on the grounds of Fornication/Adultery.
---Carla5754 on 12/23/06

#1 Divorce is not the sin, adultery is the sin that is committed when someone remarry after separating from their first marriage for reason other than fornication. The reason we are not to remarry is because the purpose for marrying your first spouse has not been reconciled. Those that reconcile with one another have worked through their marital issues and no longer need to be joined in marriage.
---ShawnM.T on 12/22/06

#2 The reason for a Holy Union is to be closer in the spirit to God. We come to gather to help one another in accomplish this task. We join with one another in marriage for this reason only. After reconciling, the task of coming closer to God, which we could not do out of marriage, should be accomplish; and leaving no reason to remarry other than reasons of the flesh. Which would make the Marriage/Union something other than Holy.
---ShawnM.T on 12/22/06

Thank you, Ralph. I've asked that question twice. Some are making man-made double standards. They can remarry because of emotional/physical abuse, in their own estimation.
---Deb on 12/18/06

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Madison, thanks for responding...what you described sounds like what people refer to as "verbal abuse". I still can't get an answer on "emotional abuse". The reason I am grinding away on this is because I see people coming up with more and more reasons and justification to remarry after divorce. Aside from adultery, I can't find anything in the bible giving permission to remarry if someone is the victim of physical, verbal or "emotional abuse"...whatever that might be.
---ralph7477 on 12/18/06

Ralph: Are you looking for examples of emotional abuse? It would include insults, put-downs, threats, yelling, belittling, demeaning, types of remarks.
---Madison1101 on 12/16/06

Thanks for your attempt Evelyn. Not quite what I was looking for. You described how "emotional abuse" might feel but I am looking for a concrete definition of what it is. In other words, what does somebody have to do to be guilty of committing emotional abuse?
---ralph7477 on 12/16/06

'emotional abuse' is worse than physical abuse....the wounds outside smart and hurt, you 'see and feel' it and it is gone..but to be 'emotionally abused' is something that kills the very soul of a person.....
---Evelyn on 12/15/06

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Could somebody please define "emotional abuse"?
---ralph7477 on 12/15/06

Madison, you see that many times. The day they move out, dating. More often than not, they were dating before they moved out, on the sly. The gals don't fall out of the sky, they are usually waiting.
---Deb on 12/15/06

Madison, I respect your stand, especially if you had kids to raise. (I'm in my car alot, this is one thing, I do agree with "Dr. Laura" on. Do not remarry until your kids are raised, her main message. You avoided all the step-parent trauma and trouble. It's rare to hear of someone not rushing back into another marriage. So again, is it a double man-made standard to say you can remarry because of physical/mental abuse in former marriage?
---Deb on 12/15/06

So what most is saying is God will forgive and never remember all sins but to remarry other than if for adultery?Or maybe he was giving us all the perfect law for marriage amd remarriage since he was the one and only PERFECT SON?
---Kenny on 12/15/06

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Matthew 19:9 "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
the phrase except for marital unfaithfulness makes it clear there is an exception where remarraige after divorce is not adultery.
---christina on 12/15/06

Donna, are you making an exception for remarrying, because of abuse in the marriage?
---Deb on 12/15/06

My husband left me and our two children. I counseled with my pastor. He said there are only three reasons that are acceptable to God in getting a divorce. If your mate committed adultry, you were physically or emotionally abused, and if your spouse was not saved.God does not expect us to stay in a marriage that is not of HIM. As far as remarriage, their are some denominations that forbid remarriage, yet if God brings two people together to love, then marry so they don't sin.
---julea5948 on 12/14/06

Deb: my husband left me for no reason, other than differences. He started dating the day after he moved out. I did not believe I should date, much less remarry, till he remarried three years later. If he were still single I would still not be considering dating. The Lord wants 100% of us. A divorced person, regardless of reasons, should be willing to give Him that. He deserves it.
---Madison1101 on 12/13/06

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"Who is making up the rules here?"

Someone other than God.
---Bruce5656 on 12/13/06

Bruce, Madison, I hear you.

What's the stand on abuse. Women divorce husband, vice versa, because of abuse. They 'feel' to remarry. No problem...back on the market, desperately seeking Susan, Sam. etc.

But is there a problem with that?
---Deb on 12/13/06

Whoops. I meant "feel free" to remarry.

Why do those who suffered abuse at the hands of a mate feel free to remarry, without any condemnation. But condemnation for those who suffered adultry, not free to remarry.

Who is making up the rules here?
---Deb on 12/13/06

Speaking of marriage for the second around,The gospel can help us by asking tyhe LORD for guidance.Love in a christlike life ways can help making our life happy and meaningful
---yolanda on 12/13/06

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Divorce is a civil proceding that causes a couple to no longer be responsible for each other's business affairs etc. It does not disolve the union between a man a woman that God has established. Gen 2:24, Matt 19:8, Matt 19:6.

While a divorce is recognized by society, and may be permitted under some circumstances by God (because of the hardness of our hearts Matt 19:8) a divorcee still has a mate in God's eyes.
---Bruce5656 on 12/12/06


Think of it this way. Someone who has destroyed their liver with alcohol may become a Christian and delivered of alcohol abuse but they still have a damaged liver. No I am not saying a divorcee is "damaged goods." The point is that neither salvation nor forgivness of divorce alters the fact that a person has a mate.
---Bruce5656 on 12/12/06

I agree with Madison, if divorce and the reason is adultery then you can still marry.
---ana8864 on 12/12/06

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