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I Am Cheating On My Husband

I love my husband as a friend but I have never been attracted to him. I cheated on him while we were dating and now am having an affair after 2.5 years of marriage. I want to be an honorable wife and a woman of God but I am so weak and I get so much from this man emotionally and physically.

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 ---AB on 12/28/06
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I think we should be HAPPY that AB is (was, actually) feeling guilt about having an affair!
---Peter on 2/11/11

I don't understand how I became a child of the devil by saying "she spelled it the same way you did". Amazing
---shira3877 on 2/9/11

robyn, I think you have your wires crossed. I am a child of the King, an heir to the kingdom. I am blood bought child of God. I am so sorry you let such minor things cloud your eyes,mind and judgement. I will pray for you. God help you robyn
---shira3877 on 2/8/11

someone was asking for help then another makes fun of her spelling. How christian is that?
---shira3877 on 2/8/11

//The lady is seeking assistance. //

This lady was seeking assistance and five years later, she got judgment. lol

robyn, i have noticed a habit of yours it to dig up way past questions personal problems and blasting them. can you not see the posted date and see the significance of your 'assistance'?
---aka on 2/8/11

Robyh ... "You know what Shira. I should not even dignify your comment on spelling here. Because I clearly see you are a child of the devil, but I will. There are deeper issues, at stake here than trying to prove one can spell"

You accuse Shira of commenting on the spelling.

But Robyn, it was you who firtst raised the spelling issue, by saying: "You don't even know how to spell honorable"
---alan8566_of_uk on 2/8/11

pedant, thanks for the english lesson. I learned how to spell in grade school in the U.S.A.
---shira3877 on 2/8/11

You know what Shira. I should not even dignify your comment on spelling here. Because I clearly see you are a child of the devil, but I will. There are deeper issues, at stake here than trying to prove one can spell. This is not a classroom. Honorable/honourable...who cares? The lady is seeking assistance. You are focusing on the wrong and evil thing, once again. Your colors are showing.....loud and clear.
---Robyn on 2/8/11

Shira == It was four or five years ago. Maybe by now they will both have learnt that 'honorable' is a more modern (US) variation of the original English 'honourable' and both are correct.
---Pedant on 2/8/11

robyn, she spelled honorable the same way you did.
---shira3877 on 2/8/11

Try love and Truth!!
---lincolin on 2/8/11

You are in need of spiritual and psychological help, fast!Very confused lady. You don't even know how to spell honorable. You better get right before hell and damnation close in on you. Adultery is a very ugly and evil sin.
---Robyn on 2/7/11

First, I feel that you are going to need to have a real relationship with God above all. Second,Praying, staying in God's word and really spending time with God will help you to be strong from the temptations of being with this other man. There is no way you can be an "honorable wife" or a "Godly woman" unless you ask God and your husband for forgiveness and turn from this sin. God can't help those that won't help themselves. You have to be honest in all areas. God knows and sees all.
---nanny on 6/21/07

2. You are a person I believe that I have a lot of respect for and think you are a great brother, and I believe I answered you yesterday. You had mentioned this before to me using your name, but why do you hide? Why do you not just ask me?
---lisa on 1/1/07

AB, please put a stop to this now. That lust for another man is NOT from God. God has promised that you will not be tempted beyond your ability. But you have to WANT to do what's right in God's eyes more than anything or anyone. God will surprise you.
---faye4464 on 1/1/07

I Hear you,
I just do not feel you! What do I mean by that......... LOL Sorry to Disapoint you but you are kidding yourself and messing up the the good name of WOMEN OF GOD. Get a reality check, What church do you attend? You are an Aduterer and on your way to Hell if you are trifling with another man and Married to another. CHRIST'S ADVICE:


PS I personally wouldn't even attempt no other type of advice.
---Carla5754 on 12/31/06

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Could you explain what the word, "conronic" means? I can't find it in the dictionary.
---LMN on 12/31/06

Observer, I admit I do make mistakes in writing. I do not have a full college education. I am hispanic, I have trouble pronouncing words correctly. I do a lot of writing and not all of my papers are perfect because my english is not perfect. I admit to that. You are not worried about what I put down, you are worried that what I put down is the truth and you just cannot stand that. It is people like you that don't help others in their problems.
---lisa on 12/31/06

2. Instead of looking out for me which is what you have posted your last post, you should check if what I write is true and from scripture. If it is the truth why are you so much against the Truth. Isn't that the most important thing in your life? Please, stop hiding from behind your name, be a man and speak who you are. I did not see you provide any help to AB, your concern is me. Are you that lonely you have to write to only me?
---lisa on 12/31/06

For your information Bob, everything I wrote I quoted it myself and wrote from Scripture the passages that pertain to the subject at hand. I didn't see you either, helping the person that asked for help. Try paying attention and reading everything I write and you will see that it is from me and Scripture. If you don't like what I write and it seems that is the problem, ask me what part of what I write you dislike and I will answer you.
---lisa on 12/31/06

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AB don't let hopelessness slip in. It is possible that your husband could meet those needs and be the complete man that you desire. I went through a time like this in my marriage and through much work between my wife and I we have overcome many issues that cause me to look for fulfillment in others. Remember it is in our God given makeup to have these desires fulfilled. We just have to learn how to both fill these needs and have them filled by our mates.
---Buttons on 12/31/06

lisa, I thought you were going to quit copying out of books. I wish you would stop, I really do. It's going to take repentance and deliverance. Be yourself.
---Bob on 12/31/06

"about coronic.......lisa. For months, and months, and months, and day after day after day, I've tried to overlook the fraud of giving us "context". It's like night and day, the real 'lisa' and someone else's written words. I know I'm not the only one who can spot it immediately. Kathr mentioned, and I agree, why are you not comfortable with your own testimony of Christ. Why do you want to live through a surrogate experience, book, or another person?
---Observer on 12/31/06

Emcee, I believe you got Mima's answer to Francis wrong. I don't think he was throwing stone at anyone but answering Francis with the story of David, and that is why I came on to explain David's case. That even a man of God can sin and be restored, through repentance. Thank you Mima for I believe this was your reason, if it was not then I have answered for no reason on David's case but for the right reason to A.B. Whatever the reason I pray A.B. changes her behavior and repents.
---lisa on 12/30/06

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Mima::Are YOU throwing the first stone?what has David got to do with Frances,statement why do you always defame others?silence is golden.Jesus condemned the Pharisees & Scribes for this same reason.
---Emcee on 12/30/06

I am shocked at some of these responses. NO God does not smile upon adultery but the Bible says no one sin is greater than the next. I suggest you seek the face of God for your answer. that you truly give it to him and not do it anymore. I also think counseling might help. Maybe this may not be what you want to hear but have you talked to your husband..told him you are unhappy-unsatisfied with your marriage. Maybe he would be willing to try to help the situation. God Bless!
---Amand9339 on 12/30/06

Your desire to be an honourable wife and a woman of God is wonderful. How badly do you want that? Do you want it as badly as the other man? Life is full of choices. Your future is the choices you make today. You can't have both so you do the choosing. A good old fashioned repentance is the quickest way to get your wish.
---john on 12/30/06

Mima, didn't David commit murder and adultery and allow his sin to go unconfessed for at least one year? Yet 1 Kings 15:5 says, "David did what was right in the sight of the Lord, and had not turned aside from anything that He (God) commanded him all the days of his life, except in the case of Uriah the Hittite." Its true we cannot judge a man's heart, but we must judge his/hers behavior. What Paul was talking about in 1 Corin. 5:12,
---lisa on 12/30/06

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2. About conronic behavior. Sins that color one's whole character. A view of such sins reflects an unregenerated heart. A.B. seems to like what she is doing, and is showing the signs of someone that doesn't want to give up what she is doing, and it really reflects her own character. She cheated on him before and is still doing it while married. God promises us forgiveness as with David when he repented thoroughly of his sin when Nathan confronted him.
---lisa on 12/30/06

3. He willingly accepted the Lord's discipline (2 Sam. 12:1-23). Though God forgives us, it does not take away the concequences of what that sin will bring. I hope she repents now and make a choice, who will she follow? The teachings and corrections of Christ, or her own flesh desires. Its her choice. Pray for her to make the right choice.
---lisa on 12/30/06

It cost David a child before he repented of his sin. What will it cost AB?
---Susie on 12/30/06

AB...yes you do have a weakness...a desire for the forbidden...and you are giving up your marriage for respectable man...will continue to take it from you...

It's your choice what you do from this day one can order have to make up your advice is to learn how to not be so driven by your desires...and you know which ones...

---Reiter on 12/30/06

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I read today about a young 25 yr old woman, she died this week, only a few hours after her wedding. She didn't wake up, they don't know the cause. It happens. Here one minute and gone the next. It would be remiss not to tell AB that sin can cost you everything.
---SamW. on 12/29/06

Frances in light of this statement you make in your post,"How can you consider yourself a woman of God and committing Adultery," I would like to ask you this question? Was David a man of God?
---Mima on 12/29/06

The deeper the relationship gets, the worse and most difficult it becomes.

Do yourself a favor and seek the councelling of a good psychologist or, if you know of a good priest or pastor, go to him.

If you married your husband, there must have been something you liked in him. Dig your memory and bring back those good qualities he has - he probably still has them.

Hope the new year will bring back peace between you and your husband.
---Caring on 12/29/06

What we are speaking is the truth and not condemnation. This woman is already condemning herself with her own actions. All the counseling in the world won't help if she does not want to give up her sinful lifestyle. This is not some kind of spirit of adultery and is the flesh talking! "The flesh is weak", but anyone can overcome the flesh if they truly want to be a woman of God. Through the grace and strength of the Lord, I overcame the old woman I used to be. Jesus made me a new woman.
---Susie on 12/29/06

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I have been a little surprised by the other responses you have received... You are asking for help no condemnation... I would recommend you to go to a mature Christian (pastor / counselor) and ask for support to break this relationship and to deal with its consequences. If I would live close to you (I live in Sweden) my wife and I would be available to stick with you... Please consider asking for help nearby... May God bless you! John
---john_van_dinther on 12/29/06

How can you consider yourself a woman of God and committing Adultery; one of the ten commandments that you should not commit. You need deliverance from the spirit of Adultery. You need to repent and ask God to forgive you for your sin in the name of Jesus Name. Take authority over the devil and bind the spirit of adultery and cast it out of yourself and your life in the name of Jesus! Break Satan's stronghold over your life in the name of Jesus! Love your husband with renewed zest!
---Frances on 12/28/06

You know what you are doing is wrong or you wouldn't have come to this website. You are cheating yourself and your husband. Stop now, before anymore damage is done. Reassess your marriage and see if it can be saved. Pray and're on the road to destruction, I've seen it many times.
---nan on 12/28/06

If you die on the way home, after leaving your 'meeting place' and the 'man'; he could be giving you more than you've bargained for. If you die without repenting for adultry, you could really die. You could be lost forever, in sin. If you lose your soul because of a physical relationship, we have told you today. We have given you a warning. Your blood will not be on our hands. Repent, which means turn around. Cease, stop - do not return to this man. We don't want you to die in your sin.
---Cindy on 12/28/06

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AB::To be an honourable wife you have got to be honourable to God. You may be cheating on your husband,this does not hurt his soul, but his emotions & ego. But in actuality you are cheating your self robbing what does not belong to YOU.Reflect & you will see what I mean.
---Emcee on 12/28/06

Your marriage was in shambles on day one. I think you should seek professional counsel. An 85 word limit cannot give you a quick fix. A pattern of free living and a lifestyle of deceit, (in and out of the shadows) requires the bright 'Light' treatment. Jesus Christ is the Light of the World. The Light of Jesus brings everything done in the darkness into the light. Step into God's spotlight and let Him clean up your life.
---Cindy on 12/28/06

The lord is gracious and longsufferring wishing that none shall be lost but all shall be saved, honey just ask God to forgive you and he will, then pray that he streghthen you to be honest to your husband and if you want to be a woman of god then wait on the lord and he shall strenghthen thee, draw your strength from GOD instead of this man and remember you can do all things through christ jesus who strenghthen you.GOD BLESS:
---Berna7743 on 12/28/06

If you "really" want to be an honorable wife and a woman of God you know how to be that. But, you really don't want to be or you would not be committing adultery. There are thousands of wives in the world who fight that temptation every day and don't give in because their committment to Jesus Christ is stronger than the one they made to their husbands. Just stop it!
---Susie on 12/28/06

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Just a reminder of another thing you are getting from this man. A trip to the lake of fire together!!
---Susie on 12/28/06

Boy can I relate!! I too am involved in an affair, but not in person, yet. Its just with a man online and he gives me so much that my husband can't. I too want so much to quit this sinful relationship, but I too am very weak in this area. I wish I could help you, but maybe we can keep in touch and encourage each other. Any help out there would be greatly appreciated!!
---CC on 12/28/06

You're not married as long as you stay in that affair. Sure that legal union is binding, but the deepest parts of you are hidden from the one you promised to love.

You need to be as bold as you were on here and give your husband the option to change his mind.

You probably consider that affair as "giving" you what you need, but the only thing you get to keep from it is the stress of keeping it hidden or the upheaval of being found out.

God gives good things - no other Gods.
---Pharisee on 12/28/06

There is no way to sugar-coat this. What you are doing is wrong, wrong, wrong. It is adultery. If you truly want to be an honourable wife and woman of God there can be only one course of action. Stop what you are doing.
---Bruce5656 on 12/28/06

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I suggest that you sit down with your husband and have a discussion as to what you feel is wrong with the marriage. You have married under the eyes of God so therefore, you need to be honest and faithful as it is not just the husband you are cheating on, it is God too. By sitting down with your husband and talking of your unhappiness and putting it right between you both is the right way to go about things.
---Rev_Dr_Nasharina on 12/28/06

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