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Cheating Husband And Two Kids

My husband is cheating and I don't have a job and am stuck with two young children. What can I do?

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 ---Vanessa on 1/4/07
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do not be afraid to stand up on your own, there are a lot people that still love you. All you have to do is keep the faith and try to find something that can help you earn a living and at the same time keep you busy.
---cheating_spouses on 9/30/11

Believe Gods promises. Ask God for his love and forgiveness and believe that the God who split the Red Sea and turned the water into Wine can save your marriage. There is many marriage restoration ministries on the internet..if you want Gods will and want your marrige seek God. He will speak to you!
---Karen on 3/6/10

Hi,How old are your kids?I know what you are going through,because my mom go through the same thing with my dad.But you could find a job and get out of there.Please if you just need someone to talk,i would be happy to listen.Vasant
---Vasant on 3/4/10

Change your attitude to positive with your children please, children are a gift. The children know if this is how you feel, I pray you are able to develop a better relationship with the children. When you pray ask to be delivered from this unbelieving man, for if he was Christian his love would be for his wife and not another. If your attitude is "stuck" with your children I surmise your attitude would be the same with your husband, forgive me please if I am wrong. Just as your children can feel your attitude perhaps your husband feels the same. May God miraculously touch your heart, change your inner feelings with your husband and children, and I hope you seek counseling through your church on how to handle your problem.
---becca on 10/4/09

Hi Rhonda, cheers

don't be so upset with my advice

it's because i'm into counselling

some men cheat because when they were single, they had multiple bedmates... some even went in to prostitutes and now that they're married are somewhat struggling to get over it.

Some cheat once in a while but really wish they didn't.... that's why i said she should pray and with God's help know exactly what to do....
sounds terrible but that's it...when caught having a fling....some restrain themselves for a few years until their shamed face wears off... then they seem to forget the shame and fall right in again and out

Some others keep mistresses they're willing to sacrifice their families for... different categories....
---pat on 10/4/09

When will women learn that a baby does NOT keep a man??? If you thought he was distant before, just wait until you throw a baby into the equation. Marriage is NOT an insurance policy against lonliness, heartbreak or general unhappiness. Pray that God delivers through a DIVORCE because he is who he is.
---Jill on 9/16/09

I recently found out my husband is cheating, i have a second child a 13 week old baby and find it incredible that the joy of a newborn, a little being from God has not brought us closer as a family. I am a stay at home mum in similar situation. He is cheating on me with 2 women. Reading this advise from the blog has been very helpful, I thank all of you for your advise and thoughts, may God help me in my decision. I was thinking mostly about what will happen to my children and how this will affect them in the future knowing about their father's infidelity but now I know I must put myself in front too, as if I am not a strong and positive person - I will not be a good mother or role model to my children.
---Dora on 9/1/09

Seek advise from your pastor if he is willing.Surround yourself with positive people only during this time. Always get legal advise and know your rights, every state is different. Try to seek a attorney who is well liked and respected by the judge in the county you reside in. Pray and try to keep grace at all possible in front of the children. Never speak ill of spouse. Read the book the peacemaker, written by a attorney. And tell as few people your personal business. Seek christian advise from a christian trained professional.
---Barbie on 7/5/09

how serious is he with this new relationship?

it could be just a fling on the side..... which can be more easily delt with or otherwise

how utterly sad that anyone would offer up such pitiful "advice"

a WIFE must now INQUIRE about how SERIOUS her HUSBANDS relationship is with another women? how sad I'm sure many women follow this ignorant advice staying with their cheating husband because they "prayed" and determined it wasn't "serious"

...exactly how many "flings" on the side must one ENDURE before they leave cheating spouses now have get out of fling cards
---Rhonda on 1/20/09

Vanessa you ask WHAT CAN I DO

what do you want to do? do you want to stay married to a man that doesn't love you or have any respect for his family and children? If you do then there is nothing you can do but endure this abuse and accept it

If he has this much time on his hands to cheat then he is not a good father when his free time is not time he is spending with his children

if you want to leave seek the counsel of your church and a lawyer ...there are many options available to you if you really wanted to move on with your life have a home where children understand respect and find a man who will love honor and cherish you
---Rhonda on 1/20/09

my heart goes to you
now don't blame yourself for it... it may not be your fault
some men just love the trill of cheating ...period

how serious is he with this new relationship? if you prayerfully get to know... you will know whether to just forger about it or not...

it could be just a fling on the side..... which can be more easily delt with or otherwise...
---pat on 1/19/09

I have been married for 12 years, his high school girlfriend has always been around.From family comments to seeing her in town.My husband cheated this year with her.It cute like a knife.My perfect marrage was just like all the rest.But I do have something other don't.I looked in the mirror and asked God to help me don't give me anything I cant deal with.I love my husband.If he cheats again,I know that I gave everything to him this time.No regreats.I do just what I feel now.Because he can not hear what I am thinking.This may not help you.But some people have to lose or be close to losing it to know what they have.Remimber nobody on earth is perfect.We learn and grow.If you need a friend I am here.I will pray for you.
---Danielle on 1/16/09

I've been in your shoes, as a matter of fact I'm in the same situation right now. My husband did this 7 years ago and I just recentely caught him again. The first time I allowed him to come back home and we managed to move on. However here I am again. Ask yourself, Do I really want to do this ever again because I KNOW from experience. Cheater once......Cheater always. My prayers and thoughts are with you. You are not crazy or to blame. He made a choice that he will have to live with. You make a choice now to move on and live your life without regret & worry about what is going on behind your back. I'm moving on! Stick with your "gut" instinct. God gave that to women. It is a tool to help us survive.
---connie on 12/28/08

Get rid of the bum. You would be better off. What have you got to lose?>>>Only your sanity!
---catherine on 12/2/08

Being with a cheating husband is hurting you and your kids.
Men cheat, and if they cheat once there is a huge chance that he will cheat again. I cheated on my wife while she was in Iraq. She was getting shot at while I was sleeping around on her. I didn't care as long as I was happy going out. Now I am married to someone else and I am still cheating on my new wife. I have prayed to change but I can not. If your husband cheated on you, please be careful because he may not change, but you need to for the children.

still praying to change
---ZefMedina on 11/29/08

Once a cheater always a cheater. Leave him and apply for welfare until the children are old enough that you can go to business. I know a woman named Sharon Marshall wrecked my happy home.
---Lilly on 1/11/08

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i was in the same position 2 years and 4 months ago.and i must say it is hard but you need to have faith in yourself and build yourself up,i told my children that their father being with other woman is not our fault but it is the way god chose it to be.he opened our eyes to what was going on behind our backs cause god has a bigger and better plan for us that does not envovle him or his betrayel.
---Angel on 8/30/07

First, get a job. Then, turn to family. Even the Bible says you have grounds for divorce. Also, don't consider yourself "stuck" with your children. The Word says that children are an inheritance from the Lord. They may be the very people that help you through this dark time. Give them a hug & a kiss every day. Tell them they're special and that God has a plan for their lives. He has entrusted them to your care! Don't forget that now.
---Crystal on 5/29/07

I'll say it, once a cheater, always a cheater. Some people will abuse your forgiveness. Has he cheated before? Forgive so that you are not held in bondage to the bitterness. But forgiving him doesn't mean letting him back into your lives. Move on. If you protect your husband from the consequences of his cheating, you are not helping him to deal with his problems. The first time - shame on him. The second time - shame on you. Don't let there be a second time. You are too good for that! Good luck to you!
---Monica on 1/5/07

Right now, you may feel that the only choice you have is between accepting things the way they are or ending it once and for all. Being bitter and angry is not a way to spend the rest of your life. Nor is being distrustful, suspiscious or jealous. Move on, have respect for yourself. Do not allow him to change you. Be strong for you - and strong for your children. He will do it again and again, only if you allow it.
---Gloria on 1/5/07

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Vanessa...I too noticed the use of the word "stuck" in referring to being left with two young children. I'm sure that you did not mean it in the way it could be taken. It is hard raising children today. But, you can do it even if you have to do it alone. I will continue praying for your marriage and you personally. Please talk to your pastor about this. If you do not have a home church, you need to find one now! God Bless!
---Susie on 1/5/07

Vanessa, you will find many opinions in this forum. I ask that you pray fervently about each bit of advice. First let me say that although God allowed for divorce in the case of adultery, it was not an order. I've known women that stuck with their husband anyway and though it was years later, they now have a monogamous marraige. You must ask God and wait for His answer.
---faye4464 on 1/4/07

First think about what you wrote. You are stuck with two young children,that sounded very bad on your part especially if those are your children,if not you aren't stuck with them unless you allow yourself to be. I think you should think of the children as the most important part of your life and what is best for them,and change your attitude. If husband cheating and won't change,you can leave him. Prayer is what you need to do most. Seek Wisdom and God's leading what to do.
---Darlene_1 on 1/4/07

This is more sirious than a dating Marriage Quiz. You must find local council,turn to a Church and ask for gidance, posibly from a woman also, that's after you've prayed and understand that with God all things are posible, but "His" way. Many people hurt in adultry devorcess for a long time. .know that what ever was said to you, God loves you and with Him "there is allways a way where ther seem to be no way"
---Juan on 1/4/07

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What do you want to do?
---Donna9759 on 1/4/07

Pray! I will pray with you. God can get you through this. Also, if you need legal advice you can call Legal Aid.
---Susie on 1/4/07

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