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Husband Is Mean To My Kid

I remarried a Christian man 4 years ago. He's extremely negative with my 14 year son. My son is an A-B student, involved in sports and a good all around kid. I feel my husband doesn't like him. My son feels like he can't do anything right. I've tried talking with my husband and he gets very defensive. Divorce? Thoughts?

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 ---Cinderella_Syndrome on 1/5/07
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Rocky, ok now you showed me my mistake without calling names, That i can accept,
---andy3996 on 10/11/11
Thank you. But I dont recall calling you names before. When did I call you names?
---Rocky on 10/11/11
Andy, I am still waiting for you to show me where I called you names.
---Rocky on 10/16/11

Divorce???? was your last spouse dead???? if so then what will you do after divorce you surely cannot marry again?
---Carla on 10/16/11

Rocky, ok now you showed me my mistake without calling names, That i can accept, thanks for the correction.
---andy3996 on 10/11/11
Thank you. But I dont recall calling you names before. When did I call you names?
---Rocky on 10/11/11

Rocky, ok now you showed me my mistake without calling names, That i can accept, thanks for the correction.
---andy3996 on 10/11/11

Rocky, I don't know what your grip is with Andy but I believe you are wrong in your attitude towards him and what he said. He is not been bogus as you said. I read Michelle's statment and she did say she found answers here but was shocked what she heard. She did assume that she was going to divorce and that she thought God would be ok because her cause was justified. She did speak of her case, so I don't understand your arguments towards Andy. Listen Rocky, we don't all agree with everything another says. And just because he questioned you before, you don't have to take it to another level. It's ok to disagree. Don't cut someone throat for disagreeing, unless they speak against the Deity of God, then defend the Truth.
---Mark_V. on 10/11/11

she said
I've tried talking with my husband and he gets very defensive. Divorce? Thoughts?
--Andy3996 10/10/11
Yes, Cinderalla wrote that over 4 years ago when she started this thread. No, Michelle did not write that in her post on 10/10/11.
---Rocky on 10/10/11

she said
I've tried talking with my husband and he gets very defensive. Divorce? Thoughts?

i know that not being an anglophonian makes me misunderstand sometimes some things, but this i believe is quite obvious. or did you spit before looking?

before acusing anyone of being bogus try to verify your own boggerlevel.
---andy3996 on 10/10/11

it is unfortunate you were more concerned with marrying 4 years ago than you were with your son... no matter how many times you marry the issue will always be YOU... it is too bad you are dragging your child through this
---Rhonda on 10/10/11
You are over 4 years late in chewing out Cinderella.
Why do you seem to side with the male over his wife or girlfriend? On the "Boyfriend Visits Fake Girl" thread you viciously attacked the girlfriend, and now the wife. Marital and relationship problems usually result from a mismatch of people and/or problems that both parties need to work out. But you make bogus assumptions and attack the women. Why?
---Rocky on 10/10/11

"extremely negative" is there some sort of scale to base that on?

it is unfortunate you were more concerned with marrying 4 years ago than you were with your son that your husband isn't perfect it's time to ditch him?

now you have buyers remorse with your second marriage (unless there are other marriages in between?)

because your husband is "defensive"? assigning some imaginary scale on the amount of defensiveness allowed and you immediately want a divorce?

no matter how many times you marry the issue will always be YOU is too bad you are dragging your child through this and setting an example it is better to divorce than work out things or work out how one HANDLES issues
---Rhonda on 10/10/11

1)Michelle if you didn't want Christian answers why did you ask it here,
2)especially in your post theres no question of physical abuse or life danger
3)actually now i know why your husband ghets defensive... you refuse him to be the head of the house... its obvious your husband made a mistake in marrying you.
---andy3996 on 10/10/11
1)She did not ask for any answers
2)She did not post the facts in her own case
3)More faulty assumptions and bogus attacks
Wow andy - you are off base on your entire post. There is no basis for your assumptions or statements, let alone you bogus attacks.
---Rocky on 10/10/11

Well Michelle if you didn't want Christian answers why did you ask it here, for us to agree with your idea of leaving Him is out of the question. especially in your post theres no question of physical abuse or life danger

actually now i know why your husband ghets deffensive hes just a hang around to you and he can do his marital duties whenever you need but you refuse him to be the head of the house. basically its obvious your husband made a mistake in marrying you.
---andy3996 on 10/10/11

I have been going thru this for 8 years. I found answers here but a very different outcome than you would think or I expected. Shocked! "Stand by your man", "a man leaves his children from his first marriage" Are you kidding me? It is so clear that protecting my children comes first! The only unconditional love is with my God and children. The relationship with a spouse is very conditional. Conditional on the way he treats us. Please dont let the "Christian thing to do" cloud your judgement and allow you to fail your children. I am done waiting. Waiting for him to see the pain he causes, for him to be the man & father we deserve. My God will understand my decision & love us thru our pain.
---Michelle on 10/10/11

You ask your question then immediately ask Divorce? Because your son and husband are having a problem... how is this constructive in any way. Using a very secular term, he's negative, and then ask if you should get a divorce. usay your son acts as if he can't do anything right however, is he acting right? Is your Christian step day rebuking correcting, according to what the bible asks? Who cares how he feels, right? Maybe you need to stand by your man and look at perhaps he's having a positive influence in the outcome of whether his actions and attitude are right before God. Did it cross your mind that maybe the "negativity" is actually the discipline of a father explained in Hebrews ch. 12?
---Ryan on 9/20/11

Having spent many years with an alcoholic, I understand, even (while) in a functional phase, where outwardly appearances are maintained, those closest bear the brunt of the dysfunction. The extreme negativity is common, and escalates. It will not improve without intervention. You will see greater abuse. I believe God is able to turn such situations around. I'd recommend taking all to Him as well as counseling, with someone experienced in addictions, preferably Christian. Separation may be wise in order to protect your son. That does not mean you need to give up on the marriage, (keep that in prayer), but as a mother, you need to protect your child. I'd get counseling and prayer for your son, he needs your help and support. God bless you all
---chria9396 on 8/22/11

I'm in the same situation for 18 years now. My husband hates my son. My husband is also a "functional alcoholic". I've come to the point that I don't know what to do.
He tries to alienate me from my kids and 10 grandkids I'm 58 years old. He's 62. His own "blood Kids" have not spoken to him in at least 10 years.
I would appreciate the counsel.
---Denise_Bennett on 8/20/11

Cinderella_ syndrome,

I would suggest you read 1Peter 3:1-6. I am a man and have been in a similar situation. I have had to allow myself to let my children whom I had before my marriage go, and trust God to some how restore my wifes relationship with them. I know it may be difficult to stay and it is very difficult that a man who calls himself a christian would act this way. But you have to understand one day your son will become a man and live his own life. Your marriage is a sacred thing. Don't give up, but rather pray.
---willa5568 on 4/22/11

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God hates divorce but we as christians do not have to be disrespected and abused. We are free to separate but we cannot remarry while the spouse is alive. I have a had a taste of this from a dad toward his son. It is a very hurtful and divisive situation. I could not believe either one because both of them were very much alike. The son was strong willed and the dad. They both told on each other and did similar things. It was an all around mess. I was caught in the middle and very,very sad about the whole situation. I loved them both but hated chooosing one over the other.
---Robyn on 4/21/11

Get out now. He will never change - he is jealous and will never warm up to your son and you will regret putting your son thru this abuse. I am in similar situation and stuck with him for 10 years. He hates my son, always has is very mean. My son left me to live with his Dad. I have never gotten over it and never will. My son is now in college but despises my husband and avoids our home because of him. This has caused many problems for me in every aspect of my life including our extended families, vacations, holidays, etc.. Every day it it is a fight. Your situation will not change. Your husband is verbally abusive and needs help. Please get out for your son.
---living_the_nightmare on 2/16/11

You need to have a family talk right away. No holds barred. The son needs to know the father is the head of the household. The father needs to be fair and tolerant toward the son.The mother needs to respect dad also, in front of the kid. The son feelings and input should be respected. The bottom line: dad will make the godly and right decision for the entire family. That is the ideal, but of course, we don't live in an ideal world.We can come close with the help of the Lord.
---Robyn on 1/26/11

Someone on the blog said: women get defensive when it comes to their kids. You bet we do! When you carry a life inside of you for 9 months, that is a part of you. You nuture, you live for and protect that baby even in the womb. You love it even before it is birthed. A real mother does that and more. Mothers are very protective of their young ones and if anyone tries to harm them .....God have mercy on their souls! The bottom line: leave my kid(s) alone!
---Robyn on 1/26/11

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Why would divorce be the very first thought from a Christian woman? God hates divorce. Your husband needs counselling at best. You need to love your husband and respect him according to the word of God. You need to spend time with your son explaining personality conflicts don't always mean the other person doesn't like you, it's usually as simple as perception differences. As the wife and mother, you can take steps to gently bring love into the situation. You all need to understand how to communicate. If your husband gets defensive, it is because of the way things are being communicated. All of you are perceiving things and drawing conclusions based on wrong perceptions. Get counseling from a strong spiritual counselor.
---Lori on 1/26/11

because someone declares themselves "christian" does not mean ACT as a Christian

today women marry because desperate or want a man to provide and they SETTLE both personally (no love) and in their family because they selfishly chose to marry another spouse and sacrificed the well-being of their children to do so

defensiveness is usually caused by emotional immaturity and most likely you are right MAJORITY of adults are emotionally immature and incapable of having love toward their latest and greatest spouses children - damaged children are simply by-product of a society that does not value marriage

seek counseling - although unlikely he will change his opinion

how did you MISS this prior to marriage
---Rhonda on 12/29/10

AlwaysOn, thank you for sharing what you did.

It may be rare, but I know this can be done because I have done it.

It all comes down to what is truly in a persons heart.
---Rob on 12/28/10

Cinderella, your original post was 3 yrs ago and I sincerely hope that your situation has been resolved already.

To Crystal and others who don't think it's possible to love a child that's not your own as though the child were yours. Not only is it possible, but my husband (and my husband's ENTIRE family) has done it for 20 yrs. My son is now 22 years old and though both know they're not biologically related, you'd have a hard time convincing either that they're not truly father and son. Perhaps their relationship is rare, but such relationships do exist.
---AlwaysOn on 12/28/10

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i would do anything it takes to defend my young person.
---shira3877 on 12/27/10

Sluvorange--your fiancee thinks your 5-year old disabled son is an "evil seed"?! Don't marry the man, you would regret it dear!
---Mary on 12/27/10

Through the years, I have have mentored and taken "under my wings" many children who are not my biological children.

Cinderella, have you ever hear the expression "IT TAKES A VILLIAGE TO RAISE A CHILD".

My being a man, I would say if your husband would not accept you son as being his, along with taking your son "under his wings" along with loving and nurturing your son as his son, you should not have married him.
---Rob on 12/27/10

sluvorange , I don't know what to say to the original poster, but your FIRST responsibility is presently to your little son, NOT to your fiance.

If he cannot accept and love your son, you should not take him as your husband.


However, I've seen other postings on these blogs about second husbands who resent sons from women's previous marriages.

This may be a subject that should be studied by sociologists, psychologists, and family therapists.
---Cluny on 12/27/10

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sluvorange, I'll tell you exactly what to do and hope you do it. Drop your hopeless bum of a fiance like the jaw snapping alligator that he is. (No disrespect to alligators intended.)
You son is "cramping" your fiance's style as a predator. You son is getting in the way of the bums activity with you as his prey. I am sure that he won't hang around very long if the physical side of your relationship stops. So take note. You son needs you and peace more than you need the bum and more than the bum wants you.
There are a whole lot more kinder and better men available that will treat you both right. But, you can't find them with a bum hanging around your neck. Give him an empty lunch bag and send him packin.
---Elder on 12/27/10

I am in the same situation but my fiance thinks my son is a evil seed and he says he loves him but his action don't show it my son is 5 he has a learning disability and i don't know what to do can someone please help?
---sluvorange on 12/27/10

This behavior is not new. He had to have shown this side of him and maybe you missed it during the courting process.
Have you tried counseling? There is alway a more excellent way to approach this matter without divorce. Try a differnt approach. Ask the Lord for more wisdom in the matter? Try seeking professional help with or wthout him. Do you want your marriage? Do whatever is necessary to keep the family unit together. Maybe there are some issues going on with your husband that you are not aware of that is making him mean to your son. A wise woman builds up her house a foolish tears it down with her hands and mouth!!!!
---joyce on 11/1/10

for my own experience my son was being humiliated by my ex-husband and my son was feeling so bad that he wanted to commit suicide so I had to make a choice it was either my son or my husband, I prayed to the Lord and he told me through a christian sister that he was going to set me free, so after much thought and prayers we separated and then I divorced him because he found some other women to replace me. All I can tell you is to pray about this situation, because the bible says that we were not born to be slaves, but to be free, because if Christ set us free why should another human being enslave us. Hope this helps you .
---Frances on 11/1/10

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your first resposibility is to your son. IF your new husband cannot love an encourage him as a " Dad" should _then you should not subject your poor son to that type of treatment. HE's been trough enough. Obviously you and his Dad are not together. The best thing for him would be for you to focus on him, raise him until he is 18 -then you can marry anyone you want. I have seen very few marriages work when children are brought in. Its always the child that gets the short end of the stick.
---steph on 10/31/10

WOW! There's a lot of feelings and energy on this topic. Women typically get their feelings hurt when someone acts unlovingly toward them or their children. Men when someone acts disrespectful toward them.

It's very possible this is normal for a blended family. It's not uncommon for there to be some animosity between step-Dads and step-kids. Often, it's because the step-Dad feels he is being disrespected and the Mom appears to be supporting the disrespecting child over the Dad. The (Momma Bear) is protecting her children (cubs). But, what the Mom can do to help the situation is TRUST both that God has led her to the right man and that the man does know how much her children mean to her.
---Keith on 8/27/10

God needs to be in all of your lives, which will enable open communication with your problems. Communication is the key, yes he is defensive when asked about the problem so change your tact and ask another way. Bring everyone together through communication and do not let your son suffer through this.
---RVB on 8/18/10

I can understand what you are going through. I met an mand whom I thought was good. The day after I married him he turned cold and distant. The problems with the kids started a few weeks after we got home from our homeymoon when I got a call from my son that he threw something across the room because his room was not clean enough. He has never tried to make friends with my kids and is very mean. My oldest daughter actually left home and will not come back. He does provide financially for them which is more than I can say for my ex. My husband and I have one daughter together and he is very good to her. I don't know what to do. I feel stuck. We have tried counseling,
---Lisa on 8/18/10

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Get away from this brute! Any so-called man who abuses a child like this should be put away. He is doing untold damage to your son. Damage that may never go away. You need to step in now before it is too late. This is a bad situation.He is a Christian man? Acting like this! You would have fared better with a pagan! My goodness! Where is the love and the God in this man. This will corrode your marriage,also, if it is not resolved,soon. Is the son trouble? Does he obey and respect this brute? Sometimes men dislike boys who are close to their moms. This is so wrong,also. . You may have to separate for the sake of your son. But do make sure your son is not at fault. He is obeying and trying to do the right thing toward the father(stepfather),too.
---Robyn on 7/30/10

I am in the same situation. I wish I had some words of wisdom. I have been to counseling, my husband and I have been separated, (trying to work on our marriage) for 10 months, so far only when we go out alone without my children (son, 14 & daughter, 16) is everything alright. I fear that the more I hear my husband being negative to my son, I am loosing respect and feelings for my husband. My kids have and will always come first, and I have alway been crystal clear on that as I'm sure you were. I will pray for you, God will guide us, we need to look for the signs.
---Laura on 7/4/10

I cannot say that I know what you are going through but what I can say is that, there is nothing beyond God. Isaiah 40:28-31, they that wait on the lord shall renew their strength. please just seek and wait on God, He is the only one with the answer, all you can do is just pray for love in your house and above all, pray that you love your husband more. I know love can conquer all. I can say so much but if you have done all the talking there is to do be still and know that God is God.

Just do me a favor, don't give in. A friend of mine once said to me, a Christian can never get defeated but rather they loose the battle when they give up.
---Scholastika on 6/23/08

I'm sorry, your hubby is a child himself. When he made vows with you he should have been mature enough to accept you as the packaged deal with your son. You would think that after 4 years, he'd give up being such a jerk.
Tell him to grow up. You can be firm in what you expect in the marraige without being unChristian.
I just want to say God Bless the Good MEN out there who act their age and treat their wives' children (that are both theirs and not) well and show the children BY WORD AND EXAMPLE! how to be a man and/or what to look for in a man.
---Nicola on 6/23/08

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i know what you fell and it fells awful because you dont want to fell like you made a mistake in the man you married
---lisa on 6/21/08

I am not sure this is your case. Personally, however, the child from the first marriage is a priority as he is an actuall blessing from God and you are his provider and protector. I would not allow anyone to discourage him. It is not Biblical for a biological father to discourage a child so why would you allow an outsider do this to your son? I do not mean to sound harsh but you have only one opportunity to impact his adult adjustment in a healthy or nonhealthy way. Defend your child. End thoughts.
---splaa6685 on 10/3/07

My husband has been acting the same way.
I think it has something to do with the way he was raised. I tell my husband he is overeacting and he tells me to butt out. I am not about to stand by and watch him mess up my son self confidence. If it is really bad and your sons is very unhappy divorce is something I would consider for my sons sake.
---gloria on 10/3/07

I was the oldest and had to babysit for my step dads three children. Lots of times I couldn't get homework finished because I had to babysit three young children. Don't let a child be abused. It is our responsibility to watch over and protect our children even if that means separation. They go to school and have stress and then have to go home to abuse. The child will grow up very angry and disobedient later in life because of it.
---Emilie on 3/6/07

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This is why God hate divorce and remarriage. No one can love a child that is not theirs. Both of my stepparents abused me, stepmom hated me because I was not hers, and stepdad molested me, all while my parents wanted to "put their spouses first" Bull crock. Kids do not ask for this, all while the adults are being selfish, I now have to pick up the pieces. There is no way I would have any man in my home with my children that is not their father.
---Papoose on 3/2/07

My wife and I were married in November 06. Her son from a previous marriage is like my own. My wife knows that our marriage is the most important thing. Not that her son comes second, but God comes first. He has set rules for us. We should follow them. Don't whatever you do, base your relationship matters on a cartoon. Your husband comes first, God says this. Pray for your husband, have faith in the Lord and your answers will come. Solve this issue in the spirit! We will pray for you. God Bless You!
---Frank on 2/4/07

The first step is to have your pastor recommend a good Christian counselor for you to see as a family. Take your son with you whether your husband goes or not and let the counselor help you sort out your needs and your feelings.
If things don't improve, have a talk with your pastor and do a lot of praying. Encourage your husband to attend the meeting, but again, go regardless.
I pray God will show you the right way to go.
---there8746 on 1/31/07

Your son comes first, second, third, etc...
to your husband and his needs. Trust your instincts!!!
Many step-fathers feel mis-placed by non-biological children. Think of "Scar" from the moveie "lion King" Be careful.
---jeff on 1/28/07

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keep on praying God will talk to your husband to love the boy with God their is nothing impossibe.
---grace on 1/22/07

I am in the same situation. I have a 14 year old son who is very sensitive and wants to please. I have been married for 2 years now to his stepdad who is so hard on him and often hurts his feelings. I cry about this often.Please pray for me and I for you.
---Liane on 1/20/07

I am a step-mother myself so I can really say I understand where you are and where your husband is. I was fortunate in that my husband loves my son and has always treated him right. I had a harder time accepting his youngest daughter though. God showed me it stemmed from my insecurities from my own bad relationship with my step-mother. I suggest good christian counseling, not divorce-which God hates!
---Penny on 1/18/07

My heart goes out to you. It's unacceptable for there to be any verbal abuse between your husband and son. PERIOD. Is it possible your husband feels rejected? Does he have children? Try suggesting they do something together to build trust (fishing, sporting event, or serve a ministry together) I sense this is fear or offense masked as anger, but you must protect your son! Speak exhorting words over hubby as a righteous example of a godly man to your son. See how that works. Keep us posted.
---Linda on 1/18/07

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It is absolutely possible for "step-children" to be loved by the new parent AND grandparents!! Your husband has a problem! Get help before you lose your son.
---Pat on 1/18/07

Boy can I ever relate to you problem. I am in the exact same boat. My son is 15 and I've been remarried for 2 years. My ex-husband's wife of 4 years was verbally abusive to my son, calling him fat, stupid, etc. So, he now lives with me full time. Now he and my hubby are at each others throats constantly. Personality wise they are like oil and water and it's breaking my heart. Everyone who is reading this, pray for all families who are in this situation please!!!!!
---Ruschele on 1/18/07

Cinderella...So, basically, you kissed the prince and he turned into a frog?
---Susie on 1/8/07

How does your son feel about his step-dad? Maybe your son should be the one talking to his step dad. Found out how he feels, and if he wants to get along with his step, then he needs to be the one to talk to him. he needs to let him know that he wants them to be close, and that he is his dad at home.
---a_friend on 1/8/07

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do not fear your son will soon grow up and begin to stand up for himself but till then try to tell him to be patient
---mercy on 1/8/07

Just wanted to let you know I'm praying for you, your son and your husband, Cinderella. I could only imagine how hard this is for you. Depending on the severity I would consider separation. It might give him something to think about anyway.

God bless,
---augusta on 1/8/07

Thank you for all the replies. We have done counseling at a few different times in the first year of marriage. My husband doesn't want anyone telling him what he should be doing, so he won't go back. I was a single mom for several I didn't hop into this marriage without being single for a long time and praying about God's leading.
---Cinderella_Syndrome on 1/7/07

My son's dad lives 2,000 miles away and even when we lived closer he wasn't very involved and that's been hurtful for my son and so my son was quite hopeful that my husband would take a real active interest in him. My husband has been a strong male role model in some areas, but he's very judgmental and because he doesn't care for my son's father, he sees my son as 1/2 of my ex-husband...which I've told him...he's a child of God...not my ex!
---Cinderella_Syndrome on 1/7/07

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Krystal, thank you for your honesty. It is by the words of our testimony others might seek the truth.
How was it before you got married? Did he pretend to care for your son, or were there red flags you hoped would clear up after you became a family?
Now is the time to seek God, and head for family counseling with a licensed family therapist. If your husband does not wish to go, you must go for the sake of your son, and take him as well.
I'm praying for you.
---lynet on 1/6/07

relationships that involve children that are not the other spouces more often than not always cause some sort of problems in families. I hope I have got your situation right. However if this is the problem, both parties will have differences and the painful part is you will be in the middle.You will have to assess the situation and to see who has the has the problem and amicably try to resolve their conflicts as a family.
---Carla5754 on 1/6/07

Family therapy is called for in this situation. Your husband is defensive, your son is confused, and you are caught in the middle. Pray and seek therapy for all three of you.
---Madison1101 on 1/5/07

Remember there is frequently friction between men and their biological teen-aged sons.
---Jack on 1/5/07

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If your husband gets defensive when you bring up the subject of your son - then you probably need a counselor to help y'all discuss things.

If your husband is unwilling to go to counseling then you and your son should go to counseling on your own.
---grace3869 on 1/5/07

First of all, stop going by feelings. You do not know that your husband does not like your son. Ask your husband what bothers him about your son's actions, etc. Perhaps your son resents this new man in your life since your son was the Man of the House before you remarried.
---Susie on 1/5/07

I would definitely consider some type of family counseling. Your husband could be taking things out on your son and doesn't realize why he is even doing it. A good counselor is going to get to the real reason he is so negative toward your son. Your first duty is to protect your son.
---ljt on 1/5/07

So many similar blogs. Women/men putting their needs and desires above the children, jumping into second marriages.

My heart goes out to the child. The adults rush, it hits the fan, and need the bail out.

My concern is for your son, and it would have been there before you remarried.

You made the decision to remarry. Now do what's right for your son. He did not deserve this mess. That child/young man is precious to God. Lord Jesus, protect this young man's heart.
---Dale on 1/5/07

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I am ashamed to admit it, but I HATED my step daughter with a passion. When I married my second husband, I had three daughters of my own. I felt like an angry mother bear, ready to kill a cub that wasn't mine. Now, I am going to get a lot of grief for saying so, but I am being honest. I don't think it is possible for a person (male or female) to love someone else's children like they love their own, and this is why God HATES divorce.
---Crystal on 1/5/07

I also wanted to add, that it never got any better. I prayed that God would change my heart, but it never happened. Maybe, if I had come into that child's life while she was still very small (2 years or younger), I could have loved that girl like one of my own. But it was impossible to be anything but her friend, and I failed miserably at even that. Poor kid! I know I'm a heel, but I also know many, many other step parents who feel exactly the same. Your husband sounds like one of them.
---Crystal on 1/5/07

Would a Christian man mistreat a child?

I recently remarried and I have grown children and grandchildren. It was extremely important to me that this man honor my commitments and that my children honor this man as my husband.
---Annie on 1/5/07


No, not if you want God's best for your life.
I'm not saying your husband's behavior is appropriate, but it sounds like you actually have balance.

If we look at the way a Drill Sargent teaches recruits we see that he always keeps them reaching, their best is never good enough.

A Father/Son relationship should have some of this, but there should also be kindness.
Keep showing the boy love, the young/old lion conflict will work itself out in time.
---Pharisee on 1/5/07

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Is your son's biological dad around? Your husband is the adult, even if he doesn't like your kid he should keep it to himself. Your husband should be treating your son like a good friend, or a guest and your son's bio dad and you should be doing the disaplining (my opinion).I know it's probably strange to most people here, but I would put my kid first.Keep talking/communicating with your son every single day show him how much he is loved, how special he is.
---sue on 1/5/07

Sounds like you remarried a man who you thought was a Christian, but hasn't been set free from his carnality if he's "EXTREMELY" negative with your son. Why is divorce your first thought? Why not counselling? and if that doesn't work, why not separate? and ask your husband to live with his mother until this gets resolved. Where is the love of Jesus flowing in your husband's heart if he's extremely negative?
---Donna9759 on 1/5/07

For those of you who are divorced with children still at home, think about this post. Our children are affected by our decisions to remarry.
---Susie on 1/5/07

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