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Hooked On ChristiaNet

Hooked on ChristiaNet: Are you able to multi-task or do you find yourself sneaking back to peek at the new questions and unable to stay away for long? Hooked and can't help yourself.

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 ---Hudson on 1/11/07
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LOL!! I always really enjoy your posts, Rural Cafe! :D You definitely are good for us! :) God bless ya :)
---Mary on 1/15/08

Blog addiction is an issue with many withdrawal symptoms experienced.
This is a new medical disorder certain to cause problems.
Withdrawal can be extremely uncomfortable.
Blog imprinting in the memory, euphoria associated with blogging motivates the blogger to keep blogging.
Blog withdrawal, relapses are common because the brain enjoys the imprinting process.

Falling off the wagon. Blog rehab centers for those trapped in their own words.

Lord, help me.
---Rural_Cafe on 1/13/08

I have a downloaded version of 'Horse with no name' from a live performance of Neil Young - DL from WinMx. You can tell the difference in that one and "America's" version.
This song was banned in some areas because of its drug references, 'horse' being a slang term for Heroin.
Play on Rural...GBY
---NVBarbara on 8/23/07

Hooked on God..

We enter His gates with thanksgiving.
God said, He would never leave or forsake us.

God is our Protector. He is gentle as a Lamb and fierce as a Lion. He is our shield, our sword, our strength, our hiding place.
He fights our battles for us so we don't take matters into our own hands.
God is the provider of peace and the protector of our lives.
In the Garden of Eden, God and Adam would sit and talk with one another. Neither had anywhere else they'd rather be.
---Hudson on 3/25/07

NVBarb:: I checked out your Barb4566 & was told you are no more a much for that.
---Emcee on 3/8/07

Hey RC, after reading that I played it on my 'puter, then I switched to an Andrea Bocelli album, such a voice! I'm rather eclectic in my taste in music, I like a variety of all kinds of music.
Ah Spring! Once the rainy season stops here I'll probably stay outside a lot! I feel like I've been cooped up forever! After moving here from Las Vegas, the rain and humidity bothers me a lot! Its 56 degrees here today, Spring is on its way!
---NVBarbara on 3/8/07

i would like to meet a friend that fun and like to write and sent nice think some of the things is the bible learn things i have not saw are remmber but hope my spell is ok i am not a good spell hope to fine some that like to chat and hope some one close
---barbara on 3/8/07

I do not know just what i be doing this summber hope i can go out of town and vist family and friend just most just go to the ymca and learn how to swim at this age lol but sorry if i have miss spell
---barbara on 3/8/07

Guess what is playing on the radio?
Horse With No Name.
What do you think, Barb?
Maybe that will be my name. Spring is here, I think. We're in the 50's. I'm going to have to stay off the computer and get chores completed outside. What will the rest of you be doing this spring, summer.
---Rural_Cafe on 3/8/07

HUD:: You forgot his ex sis-in-law family I gough you Gough & do Gough like the Duns little Dun, big Dun, Over dun, & Under dun All the other many Dun's in & out they Run.Cheers
---Emcee on 2/26/07

Van Gogh's Family Tree

His dizzy aunt Verti Gogh

The brother who ate prunes Gotta Gogh

The brother who worked at a convenience store Stop N. Gogh

The nephew who drove a stage coach Wells Far Gogh

The constipated uncle Cant Gogh

The ballroom dancing aunt Tan Gogh

The bird lover uncle Flamin Gogh

His nephew psychoanalyst E Gogh

The fruit loving cousin Man Gogh
---Rural_Cafe on 2/25/07

An aunt who taught positive thinking Way To Gogh

The little bouncy nephew Poe Gogh

A sister who loved disco Go Gogh

A niece who traveled the country in a van Winnie Bay Gogh

A nephew who loved exotic food Escar Gogh

....And there ya Gogh!
---Rural_Cafe on 2/25/07

Some things to think about:

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

If all the world is a stage, where does the audience sit?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about it?

One in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.
---Rural_Cafe on 2/25/07

Country Songs

Running My Fingers Through Your Hair Messes Up My Mind

When She Bleached Her Hair it Frosted Me

My Skin Always Crawls Back to You

She was Just a City Girl who Thought Twang was an Orange Drink

Her Teeth were Stained but her Heart was Pure

When She Said She was Sleepy I Knew She was Tired of Me

I Remember When She Forgot Me

The Apple of My Eye Turned Out to Be a Fruit
---Rural_Cafe on 2/25/07

She Dumped Me for the Garbage Man

I Dropped the Bookcase On My Darlin' and Pleaded Shelf Defense

I Bought A Car From A Guy Who Stole My Girl, But It Don't Run So We're even.

I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here

The Peach I Picked in Georgia Didn't Cling to Me For Long

Now That We're Miserable, I Hope You're Happy
---Rural_Cafe on 2/25/07

A new Pastor in Oklahoma,visiting his members & inviting them to his Opening service.Next sunday Church was all but empty.He puts an ad in the local paper that since the church was dead,it needed a Christian Burial.Morbid curosity, the people wished to Know how?Sunday arrived beside Pulpit was a coffin.The Eulogy delivered, he invited each one to view the corpse.Each mourner took a peep & turned away with a sheepish guilty look.In the coffin tilted at an angel was a large mirror.
---Emcee on 2/25/07

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Singing All Day And Dinner On The Ground

Oh the little country church where we used to sing and pray
How God would bless us in the old fashioned way
It's still in my memory oh I can see it now
We would sing all day have dinner on the ground

If the whole would loved Jesus you'd find more people there
Singing rejoicing as they kneel in prayer
Then an old fashioned handshake and gather around
At the Singing all day and dinner on the ground
---Rural_Cafe on 2/25/07

We would sing those old songs and the preacher would preach
Of how Jesus died for you and for me
You could feel the Great Spirit from Heaven pouring down
At the singing all day and dinner on the ground

Author unknown
---Rural_Cafe on 2/25/07

Sometimes I'm battle weary
I forget to use my shield
The arrows pierce my armor
I stumble in the field.

A shield won't do much good if it's hanging by your side
Keep the shield of faith before you if you want to stay alive.

I'll think my life is over
The Lord He comes to me
He heals my wounded spirit
He sets me on my feet.

Sometimes you're battle weary
The war's already won
Keep your head and hold your shield high
'Til your days in life are done.
---Rural_Cafe on 2/25/07

Ben,I agree totally! I love to come here where we can share a laugh, or info and not have confusion and backbiting! We can even have a slice of Elder's coffee!
---NVBarbara on 2/25/07

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Raine - I'm so glad I asked. It is just the cutest story. God is just so good. I've gone all "goo goo" lol. If you can ring up a Vet over there they will tell you what to feed the little baby bunnies with and anything else you need to know. Or maybe Google "Rabbit food" or something like that. Keep us informed ok. Thanks. :)
---Helen_5378 on 2/25/07

Helen, I'm over here.

The baby bunnies have grown. There is only one, and I think she is going to be a MaMa. One ran off. I thought they were brother and sister, but perhaps, they were married after all. Mama is round as a butterball. It was a terribly cold, long winter. Rabbit pellets pulled Mama through. There are vitamins in those pellets, all the good things a rabbit should have. Those babies will be healthy and cute.
---Raine on 2/24/07

Mama wouldn't touch the pellets for a long time. One day, hunger took over. Now every evening, right before the sun goes down, she runs over and eats supper. If I'm up in the night, I see her eating, nose and whiskers bobbing around. She will not touch the pellets if they become wet. When it snows, I have to put a cover over the dish. Then I run out there and uncover it. She waits and watches me. She expects those pellets every day, not much else to eat when the ground is covered with snow.
---Raine on 2/24/07

I have a large bag of pellets. I'm wondering when spring and the babies arrive, how many and how long will I be feeding? I've been told a wild rabbit survives about two years. There are many predators around and I'm always glad to see her show back up. I don't normally feed wild animals, it just
happened. (P.S., Mama will not eat any raw vegetables, only these special pellets and she gobbles them up.)
---Raine on 2/24/07

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I love this site. I spend a lot of time going through the old blogs too.
---Ben on 2/21/07

(Contd)2 "show me" quipped the Sarg "Sir,This Ace tells me there is only One God,2for the old & New Testaments .3 the TRINITY.4,the 4 gospels. 5= 5virgins,although there were 10 5 were glorified.6represents& the 6 days of Creation .7, The lords Day of Rest.8=Noah's family who went into the Arc.9=9 lepers who were cleansed & only one returned to thank him.10are the 10 commandments,God gave moses.The Jack is SATAN Who is now the Joker of eternal hell. Queen is the Virgin Mary & King isJesus
---Emcee on 2/18/07

(3Cont)When I count all the Dots,It comes to 365 =one year;the 52cards equals 52weeks & each suit represents the 4 seasons.Each suit has 13 cards & each quarter of the year is 13 weeksSo you see Sarg when I want to talk to God & thank him,I pull out my deck of Cards.The Sarg after a minute with tears in his eyes & a heavy heart said :Soldier,may I please borrow your deck'The story speaks for itself.We need them as much as They need us .
---Emcee on 2/18/07

Heheheh!! NVBarbara; you are hilarious! :D
---Mary on 2/17/07

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NVB:: How about a tattered Christian soul as an experimental measure.Dont want to waste too many RC,of course with Elders Brew Inc
---Emcee on 2/17/07

A pastor went out one Saturday to visit his church members.
At one house, it was obvious that someone was home,
but nobody came to the door even though the preacher knocked several times.
Finally, the preacher took out his card, wrote out "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it, and stuck it in the door.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock.
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with me.
- Revelation 3:20
---Rural_Cafe on 2/17/07

The next day, the card turned up in the collection plate.
Below the preacher's message was written the following notation:

I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.
- Genesis 3:10
---Rural_Cafe on 2/17/07

WWI::IT was quiet, NO guns & mortars it was the Lords day.A young soldier took out a deck of Cards &laid them out,when along came a Sergeant "What are you doing today is sunday why aren't you with the rest or the platoon"The private replied "I thought I'd spend a few moments with the lord"Seargeant "Look's to me you are playing Cards ""Oh No Sir,since we are not allowed to have Bibles spiritual books I thought I would talk to the lord by studying this deck of cards.
---Emcee on 2/18/07

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Those who drink Elder's coffee are called 'mourners' RC! A slice of his coffee will wake you up for days, or patch a roof!
---NVBarbara on 2/17/07

Hey waiter,I don't like the looks of this fish....OK I'll cook you a "goldfish" then!
---1st_cliff on 2/17/07

I'm a big Mackeral or Bluegill.

I make the coffee, and open the blogs. I can't wait on the coffee, hold my cup under the spout. Run back and check the early morners. Pull myself away and come back after lunch. I sneak back at bedtime. I have a hunch now when the Moderator will finish up. I'm not the only one. I see all the other Bluegills and Mackerals out there.
---Rural_Cafe on 2/16/07

Hooked? You can say that again. I'm constantly on it (when no work)! I've a target....I must finish all the bible study quiz! trust me i no what it means to be hooked!
---ajaya9574 on 2/16/07

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Hiya Hud::Sure nice to hear from you.Storms abated & once again looks like Christmas.Snow a foot high on the Roofs & Chimneys a smoking to beat the wild blazes below;truth to tell havent seen them or want to.our Mutual friend KKK is in the saddle again & her little one is getting better. Prayers help.You sure are a soft hearted yodelling Cow poke, making them love sick Guys Bawl.True love never dies.BTW we are collecting an Audience & I'm getting starry eyed with the dew a dripping,like tears.Nap Time.
---Emcee on 2/15/07

Hey there, Emcee. Glad to hear you're doing alright. Snowstorms everywhere. I'll be glad when spring shows up.
---Hudson on 2/15/07

I hear you KD Loud & clear & the echo is returned with the same sincere intensity entering the ear canal as a whisper.
---Emcee on 2/15/07

NVBarbara, Jessica is doing well. Her doctor gave her a new inhaler and better medicine.
---Kay6588 on 2/14/07

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HiYa Hud_son::Like your ditty especially the one about the dance written for Patrick. Good going Hey would have said Happy Valentines But Heck some here would think were queer!!!Folks I mean .Keep em mooing yuk I nearly did it again& it would have been a typo.Time for my Nap.Cheers
---Emcee on 2/14/07

Thank you, Emcee. We're doing fine. I love you!
---Kay6588 on 2/14/07

NVBarb::That was too too sweet of you. Hey at my age I am satisfied with the crumbs small appetite. 28 in reverse Have to watch my Girlish Figure.I used to have a number & profile but got railroaded & now I'm all alone on the lone Praire.Was in Nevada years back visited the littlest town with the wife way back in '93 when I was a buckeroo.Now that she has passed on i'm hog tied & breathing hard with a large family.God bless you too Thanks for viewing an old Derelict in dry dock.
---Emcee on 2/15/07

DK::Happy Valentines Day Hope You & Jessica are fine Yours as ever
---Emcee on 2/14/07

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You're not THAT old Emcee! Is your profile on CN? I've grown to love and respect you as a brother, GBY!
Rural, you're a sick puppy, I like that in a person!
I FINALLY put my profile back on CN. barba4556
Kay I'll pray that your daughter get better REAL soon.
Hugs all around!
---NVBarbara on 2/14/07

Valentine's Day Dream

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".
---Rural_Cafe on 2/14/07

"Woman without her man is nothing"

From one perspective: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

From another perspective: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."


To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot, and not try to understand her at all. :)
---Rural_Cafe on 2/14/07

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

---Rural_Cafe on 2/9/07

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man. The man then replies: Yeah, well we were married 35 years.
---Rural_Cafe on 2/9/07

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.
---Rural_Cafe on 2/9/07

If the diaper fits - you must acquit.
---Rural_Cafe on 2/9/07

Emcee, Jessica is 11 years old.

I've never smoked in my life, and never will.

Thank you for your prayers. :)
---Kay6588 on 2/8/07

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KD; how old is Jessica did you ever smoke? I will say a prayer for her.Bless you both any more?
---Emcee on 2/8/07

"KD::Why was I worried ???Guess when you are old some things worry you.what do you Think.U R SPL."

Emcee, I worry about things too. But I'm doing alright. I'm getting ready to take Jessica (my daughter) to see the doctor. Her asthma has been bothering her lately.

I think you're special, too.

love ya.
---Kay6588 on 2/8/07

Uma Mona Newman

There once was a woman
Named Uma Mona Newman
She nimbly made feminine M&Ms

She didn't like a lot of 'em
She only liked the minimum
She loved the mini-cinnamon
And the aluminum chrysanthemum.

So Uma Mona Newman
Nimbly made for the millennium
A minimum of feminine
Yummy mini-cinnamon
Chrysanthemum aluminum
---C.J. on 2/8/07

Can you imagine the officer that walked up to the car, calling dispatch,

Uh yes, the suspect has a space helmet and a diaper on
---Anonymous on 2/8/07

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KD::Why was I worried ???Guess when you are old some things worry you.what do you Think.U R SPL.
---Emcee on 2/7/07

Signs an Astronaut ....

"This is a giant leap for mankind" as she tosses you off a bridge

You turn on CNN and see the Hubble Telescope focusing on your house

She promises to "Take you out like Pluto"

It sounds crazy, but you could swear Mars is following you

Her previous attempts have been postponed due to high winds

David Letterman
---Anonymous on 2/7/07

What is an astronaut's favorite place on computer?

The space bar.
---anonymous on 2/7/07

What kind of ticks do you find on the moon?

---anonymous on 2/7/07

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Too much of the Tang drink.
---anonymous on 2/7/07

All Systems Go! (astronaut diapers)
---Rural_Cafe on 2/7/07

Barbara maybe they know someone is watching.
I saw a fishing show one time where the fish were jumping in the boat. It was near where I had cleaned my coffee pot out.
An Astronaut (AstroNUT) drank one cup at full strength and had to wear diapers from Texas to Fla. and tried to kill the one who sent it to her.
Then there was the Priest, Clown and Cowboy who walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "What? Is this some kinda joke?"
---Elder on 2/7/07

Houston really does have problem. Certainly they must be performing identity checks and validations on the astronauts when they return to the atmosphere. I am fairly convinced she is actually an alien exchanged for a "real" human "out there" in space.
---Wendy on 2/6/07

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Steve watches this fishing show on TV, I don't get it. They catch the fish then throw them back in! I guess they don't want to eat them, they just want to make them late for something!
---NV_Barbara on 2/6/07

"KD::PHEW!!!girl don't cause me a heart attack Glad you are OK & that puts a smile on my Face."

Emcee dear, why were you worried about me?
---Kay6588 on 2/6/07

"Horse walks into the Cafe. owner says "Hey fella,why the long face?" -1st_cliff

---Kay6588 on 2/6/07

Rut-row, astronaut attacked love rival in love triangle. Wearing diapers so didn't have to stop the car for space walk to the outhouse. Do you think a lack of atmosphere in space would cause your brain to shrink? Is that where airhead comes from?
---anonymous on 2/6/07

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KD::PHEW!!!girl don't cause me a heart attack Glad you are OK & that puts a smile on my Face.
There once was a gal named Kate.
Had much too much on her plate
So off went she, to the Rural CAFEE .
Now she's washing Dishes & More
Cause she encountered Hud_son the troubador.
haw haw!
---Emcee on 2/6/07

HWNN a drug song? hhmmmmm. Like I said, learn something new everday! AND: if you play it backwards it will spit out yellow turtles!
---sue on 2/6/07

Did you see, Houston has a real problem today. An astronaut was arrested wearing diapers, uh oh.
---anonymous on 2/6/07

Sue, Neil Young and Crazy Horse.

Check out N.Young's website, with statement, "are you still convinced N.Y. sang HWNN.

America's HWNN was not a drug song, check out America site.
---Rural_Cafe on 2/6/07

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Horse walks into the Cafe. owner says "Hey fella,why the long face?"
---1st_cliff on 2/6/07

All I need to know I learned from my horse:

When in doubt, run far, far away.
You can never have too many treats.
Everyone loves a good, slobbery kiss.
Eat plenty of roughage.
When you want your way, stomp hard on the nearest foot.
In times of crisis, take a poop.
Follow the herd, can't be singled out to take the blame.
A swift kick in the rear will get anyone's attention.
Love those who love you back, especially if they have something good to eat.

---Rural_Cafe on 2/5/07

Have not spotted the KatieDid. How are you feeling, Emcee?
For real, on the news today, two men set a trap for a fox. All their ducks were being killed. It scared them to pieces when they went out to look and inside was a Bobcat. Bobcat was in the cage w/trapdoor. It was fine. Wildlife mgmt. turned it loose in the hills. It was wild, wooly and mad.
---Hudson on 2/5/07

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