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I Really Loved Another Man

I took my marriage vows when I loved another man. I married for sex. I knew it was not God's will to get married. Now the marriage is a disaster and we are so unhappy. What can I do?

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 ---Me on 1/16/07
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Marriage is a covenant commitment for life, regardless of the circumstances. There is no way to bail out afterwards and still obey God. That is why it is so important to teach our children how critical it is to choose carefully. I wish I could say something to make this easier, but if you desire to obey God's Word, you are required to stay married to your husband. Make the best of the situation you are in and find a way to make it work.
---righteouswarriors on 4/9/08

Remember that God hears you. Ask Him for help. You are in my prayers tonight.
---deb on 4/8/08

---KRISTIN on 4/8/08

We can never go back. We have an accountability for the decisions we make. We are held accountable. Better to honor the marriage covenant you made with fraud, believing God makes it legit, than to keep looking back. In Jesus, all things have become new. New covenant has put the Old away. It time to stop agreeing with the devil's plan of disaster with unhappiness for your life. Your agreement with his schemes are not turning the marriage around.
---Ted on 4/8/08

To taste of the tree of life has been your downfall.Apart from prayer & seeking forgiveness Of God & the men in your life you may have to play it by ear,& seek His guidance.
Many a ship is lost at sea for want of sail or Rudder
Many a Girl has lost her man for fooling with another!!
---EMCEE on 4/7/08

You can pray that God will help you love your husband like you should. Are you both in church? That would help a lot.
---Susie on 6/28/07

Me, there's one thing you can do - seek the advice of a professional councillor. First goal though is to try to save your marriage. I'm sure there are good qualities in your husband. Dig them out and build on that.
---Caring on 1/30/07

Jana - ("Shame on you I would say") -- It would have been better that you had not said that. Very unChrist-like. The Lord is waiting to forgive the person when they turn to Him.
---Helen_5378 on 1/17/07

You knew you was in love with another man but you married this one. Why would God allow This to happen. This all went pass him. Your both not happy but God can still get the glory. Marriage is hard work. No one can say walk away. No one takes the time anymore to really have a courtship. Now you can take that wisdom you gained from this and help someone else and in turn God will help you. DON'T break down before your breakthought.
---Towanna on 1/17/07

Well...I am afraid, you're a sinner just like the rest of us!

What you can do (we can all do), is turn it over to God. Where else can we go? He (Father & Son) are the author of our salvation -- so said Peter, when many others had turned away. You should look it up, check it out!
---TizSo on 1/16/07

I applaud your honesty, Im sorry for your pain, and I pray for your marriage commitment with your husband to be strengthened by God. Forget the former things see I am doing a new thing dont you perceive it Since God has allowed this marriage there must be a reason aside from your choice ask the Holy Spirit to reveal this to you.

---linda on 1/16/07

First of all, do u think everyone on this site is qualified to give an opinion on such a subject? There are christian cousellors around n they r more experienced in this area. It can b dangerous 2 take anyones opinion here. You did wrong to your husband by marrying him in the first place and by leading him on 2 believe u truly love him by marrying him. Shame on you I would say.
---jana on 1/16/07

The Lord delivered me from a roller coaster life years ago. I was so happy when I got off that roller coaster!
---Susie on 1/16/07

Be a humble servant to your spouse.
---Ryan on 1/16/07

How old are you? How long have you been married? You write that you both are unhappy. The bible states that we should remain unmarried unless we have the need for sexual relationship and in that case we should get married. So how is your marriage different than what the bible suggests? Love grows over time, plant the seeds of love and nuture those seeds - God will make Love grow.
---Pat on 1/16/07

I used to wonder why it's so important to remain celibate until marriage. Purity, and holiness are the obvious reasons. I also belive it is to control temptation. Having a sexual relationship with more than one partner opens the door to lustful thinking, desire,
and comparisons. Eventually becoming inticed, and controlled by a "feeling" much to our detriment, that has nothing to do with real love.
I will join you in prayer for yourself, and your marriage.
---lynet on 1/16/07

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Well put, Susie.

You took a vow to LOVE your husband.

Love is an act of the will, not a feeling.

That's one of the themes of the movies UMBRELLAS OF CHERBOURG--the difference between being in love on the one hand, and loving on the other.
---Jack on 1/16/07

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