God Doesn't Want Me Married
What if God doesn't want me to ever get married? Will I know it? I never even wanted a relationship for the past 25 years and now its all I can think about. Surely, if he doesn't want me to be someone's wife, wouldn't he expect me to not have the longing to be one?
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---ljt on 1/28/07
Helpful Blog Vote (12)
Generally speaking, God is indifferent on the matter. There are only a few instances that God commands marriage: rape of a virgin not pledged, seduction of a virgin not pledged, and the Babylonian captivity. Other than that, Paul discouraged marriage because all the troubles. Indeed, I was happier single and celibate. The only blessing for me in marriage has been kids. It may be better wanting marriage than having it. If this is the situation between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry. (Matthew 19:10)
---mike4879 on 1/1/17|
God didn't want Adam and Eve to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, either, but they still longed for it.
ljt, there are many worse things than not being married.
Most of them are being married to the wrong person.
Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 3/1/16|
Looking to the Lord, be thankful for all things, whether understood or not, knowing that the Father knows best, His ways are not mans ways, and He loves, God knows our hearts, He knows the longings any may have, and He alone can fill or fulfill desires. Remember that all good things come from Him. Being content in whatever situation, single married, separated...and simply trusting the Lord, realizing we all have sinned, fallen short, no matter the wrong done by any other, being merciful with the awareness that we have had our own part in past shortcomings so we have no place to judge
---chria9396 on 2/26/16|
"Have you not noticed all the people on these blogs--mostly women--who complain about their spouses? Don't think that marriage means happy ever after."
These complaining women, almost certainly, are or were married to men who remember the marriage vows made by their wife (honour and obey) but have pushed to the back of their minds their own vows (to love and cherish) and see their wives as servants and child bearers only rather than partners in life generally.
---Rita_H on 2/26/16|
Many are unhappy because they are in a situation not natural for them.
The VERY first negative statement in the Bible is "it is not good for Man to be alone".
Paul said it was better not to marry, but also better to marry than to burn. When Jesus gave his harsh teaching about divorce, his disciples said "in that case, it is better not to marry!", and Jesus repied, "this saying is not for everyone - only those to whom it is given".
There are some who have the gift of celibacy - i.e. being able to live their entire lives happily alone. That is a special gift, and NOT the norm. Of all the adults you personally know, what percentage of them are perpetually single, and happy about it?
---StrongAxe on 2/26/16|
I will never ever understand why would God give millions of others the Gift of life being married with a family which it is very Normal to have, and many of us have so much trouble finding Love. Especially when God did say that man Should Not be alone which i totally agree. Why should many of us have to be Alone and have No one to share our life with? I will certainly will admit that many of us very Good men out there really Hurt being Single And Alone when many women really do handle it much Better than us which i am very sure it really bothers them as well. Peace.
---George on 2/25/16|
\\Why in the world would i want to be single when it makes me very Depressing? Why did God bless so many others with a wife and family that i would've wanted too?\\
If you're not happy by yourself, you won't make anyone else happy, either.
Have you not noticed all the people on these blogs--mostly women--who complain about their spouses? Don't think that marriage means happy ever after.
My own mother was married 3 times, but none of them made her happy.
Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 4/1/15|
Why in the world would i want to be single when it makes me very Depressing? Why did God bless so many others with a wife and family that i would've wanted too? Doesn't make any sense at all. Most women out there are so very Pathetic to meet anyway, and that certainly explains why there are so many of us single men today. And God did say that man Should Not be alone. Right?
---Seriously on 3/31/15|
---Disheartened. on 5/14/14
Joh_14:13 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I DO, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
Joh_14:14 If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.
Joh_15:7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide (stay) in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.
Joh_15:16 Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, . . . that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may GIVE it you.
God wants widows (under sixty) to get married, and wants younger widows to marry and have children, -- 1Tim5:9-14 it is unlikely He does not want you to get married.
---aservant on 1/25/15|
Well many of us were certainly Punished By God with Singleness.
---RealTruth on 1/25/15|
Thanks!Shira4368,This Elena,can't believe how elated & happy I feel really excited bout going to.church go out with my Christian friends,we share our experiences and we all do respect one another's space.
.I am the only one don't like talk alot on the fon.Told them.about CNT.We have some fun moments. Love of Jesus!
---Elena9555 on 5/28/14|
Elena even with my serious side, I like to have fun. When my husband was here we would get up at midnight to 2 am and go for breakfast. Just having a good time. You are funny too. Lol
---shira4368 on 5/28/14|
Hello,everybody,Sis.Shira4368,youmade my day,ha ha..wow! Bless ya!
People here,been calling me,too fat
For long,as I can recall.
God don't make junk,, she got good advice from us,all.
God did work by faith different ways like Bro.Bryan said..
I have done it,many times in ask & look to God for meet a need,a request. Love of Jesus!
---Elena9555 on 5/28/14|
Elena, I have seen your photo and you are not fat. Maybe a little busty but not fat. It's better than looking like a twig. I can now pull my jeans off while buttoned. They are 8. I need some ice creme. I had gained some. But lost it again with whatever I had for the past 5 days. I opened tomatoe soup, graded bruschetta jack cheese, add croutons and so good.
---shira4368 on 5/27/14|
To Sis.Dishearten,all respect, let you know,re: heavy set women, not true for alot of us full figure ladies.
Men( serious Christian )-interested.it your personality. YOUR WALK with.God.
don't Give up!
.There are brothers love the Lord, they know & Tired of " the worldly women"
insecure they pick.it up.. I pray God lead you to good christian gentleman.
who.will love you with all the qualities like woman.in. Pro. Continue 19-27.
Pro.30 Read this chapter.
She is the godly woman, a woman of valor,substance,faithful..you get my point. He will love you small.or abit plump! A woman.He can.trust!
Love of Jesus! Elena 9555
---Elena9555 on 5/26/14|
Here is a faith test for you. Write down all the things you would like your spouse to be. Becareful of what you write. Put it in a letter and mail it to yourself. Don't open wait. There are many ways you can use the faith God has given you. This is just one of many. Jesus never used faith the same way every time. Some he spit on the ground and put the muck in the person eyes some he just touched or some touched him. All in faith.
---Bryan on 5/14/14|
I have nothing encouraging to say. Trust GOD, but don't make His work impossible. I just turned 34, and my housemate is a 58 years old spinster. The bible doesn't really help us in getting married since during scriptural times, marriages were arranged.
Here are the three things I heard my pastor recommend:
Be positive. No one wants a nag or a pessimistic woman who is a loud mouth knows it all.
Perhaps you should work on your physical attractiveness.
If you are overweight, please lose weight. No one wants a obese woman for a wife. They settle because they can't do any better.
---Disheartened. on 5/14/14|
JIM, IJT: God has His own principles. If we relate well with Him following His principles and instructions, He will always communicate the things we need to know to us. We should not blame any lack we suffer on Him until we diligently find out the reasons for our lack.
---Adetunji on 12/13/13|
Well it does seem that God wants many of us men to be Alone, especially that many of us hate very much being all Alone to begin with. Really makes me wonder why would he Bless so many other men and women to find love and happiness together and punish us innocent ones this way?
---Jim on 12/9/13|
God expects you to control your "longing" and keep it in submission to him.
It's not wrong to have earthbound desires, but it's wrong to be controlled by them.
2Peter 1:3 According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue
You can be influenced by what you see or Him who has called you to hear his voice in your soul.
---Pharisee on 2/28/08|
Just saying I did not give this response.
---Matthew on 7/6/07|
It is not likely God wants you to remain single, but you can always enter 3-7 days of 24/7 prayer to find out.
1 Cor 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
1 Tim 4:1 ..in latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;
3 Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.
---a_servant on 7/6/07|
For Christians who wait on the Lord, marriage is a blessing, for Christians who are impatient and won't wait on the Lord, marriage is a curse. If you are longing for a companion it could be that God is about to introduce you to your soulmate-Satin does not want you to be introduced to him so you may be coming up against a time of temptation or testing. My advise to you is, draw as close to God so he can guide you through your time of longing.
---Marcia on 7/6/07|
Men and Women are a helpmeet for each other. We need each other to grow.
---Matthew on 7/6/07|
friend, God specifically made woman to be a helpmate for a man.Gods word found in genesis says its not good for man to be alone.actually preceeding it it talks about all the other creatures having a mate but a suitable one for adam was not found.am I saying a woman can never be fullfield without a husband? NO ,but a part will be missing.to some its not an issue ,to others it is.
---tom2 on 7/5/07|
I had the same problem with people who wanted me to contact them at their private email. Ain't gonna happen with this girl! This site is about as safe as any could be. But, you have to watch out for yourself. When a person emailed me from Nigeria and asked for my private email, I could see that scam coming from a mile away!
---Susie on 2/1/07|
No problem ljt. Suit yourself and wait for God to send you someone.
---Caring on 2/1/07|
ljt, if you do join, be careful. Every day I get several emails from strange guys wanting to meet me somewhere or they want my personal email address. I usually ignore them or tell them "no thanks". Yesterday I received an email from a complete stranger asking me to move to his city so that he could be with me. Yeah, right! Keep dreaming, Mister!
---Kay6588 on 2/1/07|
Caring---I disagree. I believe that by me trying so hard to find someone on my terms, with no success, that I was not being obedient to what God wanted,
Susie--would love to hear more, but don't you have to be a member to send emails and doesn't it cost?
---ljt on 1/31/07|
Caring---I thought if someone is waiting for God, they were supposed to leave it alone and let God take care of it. I have tried it on my own w/no luck and thought I was supposed to wait. ---ljt on 1/31/07
No, ljt, that's now how it works. We pray God to help us and we do our job also. Simply "waiting" for God to "send" us a partner is an abuse of His Mercy.
We don't just pray God to give us food but we go out to earn a living.
---Caring on 1/31/07|
ljt...You can email me. I am susie6997 on this website. Have I got a man for you!!
---Susie on 1/31/07|
That is not from God beloved. God made marriage for us to enjoy. Being single is no crime, though. I think this is coming from something with in yourself. Perhaps you are getting older and so forth. If you want to marry you need to go where the men are. At church and so on. Then ask the Lord for what you want. He will give it to you.
Bye for now.
---robyn on 1/31/07|
Susie---I realize that being married is what I always what I wanted. I've not thought about me for so long, that I've no single friends. They are all married---even the people at church are all married or attached.
Caring---I thought if someone is waiting for God, they were supposed to leave it alone and let God take care of it. I have tried it on my own w/no luck and thought I was supposed to wait.
---ljt on 1/31/07|
Maybe being married is what you have always wanted and just put it to the back of your mind. God will provide the desires of your heart.
---Susie on 1/30/07|
ljt, it's time you start going out and socialize and make friends, even men, and start doing your homework. Praying and waiting for God is not enough - YOU need to do your part.
---Caring on 1/30/07|
I've done the "gone back to college" thing too in those 25 yrs (rec'd a BA & MA). So, even though I've done everything very non-traditonally, I'm still wanting the traditional idea of marriage (w/out more kids!). I really feel out of whack w/wanting a mate and marriage at this time of my life.
---ljt on 1/30/07|
Fifty is the age of change for many. Visit your physician. If you did not think of yourself for 25 years, intensity is great now, could be the hormones bursting through air, 4th of July. Kapow Kapow, when the fuse is accidently lit and they all go up at one time.
---anonymous on 1/30/07|
ljt....You have beat yourself up enough for something that happened years ago. You can start enjoying life now! You don't have to live with guilt. Jesus paid the price for that on the cross. As a woman pushing 60, I will tell you that life gets better after 40!!! You start to realize what really matters in life. My husband and I have only been married 8 years and are still honeymooning. God put us together. He can bring the right man into your life also.
---Susie on 1/30/07|
I should've explained---I became pregnant & unmarried at 25 (with my daughter). I closed myself off from men for 25 years because of that (not intentionally, but that was my frame of mind. NOW, daughter is grown & married, so I've started thinking about ME, after many years of not. Yes, I've repented, asked forgiveness and forgave myself. Now, I feel the need for a mate. And yes, I realize I kind of went through the stages of life backwards, by having a child first.
---ljt on 1/29/07|
As we reach middle age, many people have these kinds of urges. Some stop and think about their lives and what they perceive they have not accomplished. Some go back to college, have an affair, or change careers. I've known several couples who have had another child even though their children were almost all grown. It's normal behavior for us humans. Perhaps you are wondering what you have missed out on?
---Susie on 1/29/07|
Could be a final blowout of hormones. It happens. A big whoosh before they leave.
For some ladies around the age of 45, hormones burst then go in reverse. And if you haven't had any children, this cycle happens sooner for some.
Everyone is different, but I know someone who had her blowout at 38. It's over.
It could be.
(Blowout - like 4th of July fireworks all going up at one time)
---anonymous on 1/28/07|
Maybe God put that longing in you for a reason which is unknown to you at this time. Ask God for His Will to be Done.
---Pat on 1/28/07|
**Surely, if he doesn't want me to be someone's wife, wouldn't he expect me to not have the longing to be one?**
---Jack on 1/28/07|
Lit, God would not have put that desire there, then mock you. I experience the same desire after not caring for 18 years. After much prayer I believe that God put the desire there so I would not miss the RIGHT person when we meet. However, I leave the meeting entirely and completely in HIS hands. When you meet, God will let you know. Just remember that you both still have the freedom to choose. He doesn't force anyone to obey him.
---faye4464 on 1/28/07|
I'd like to share a quote from a book by Frederick Bailes, "God is the perfect knower. He knows where you are and where a man of like caliber is. He knows how to unite gross with gross and fine with fine, for His Law side is forever bringing together that which is in harmony and separating that which is not harmonious. There is not the slightest reason why he would put this ideal within you and then mock you. It is there because the Knower wants to see it fulfilled."
---faye4464 on 1/28/07|
God would have revealed his purpose to you. Giving the example of Mary. Maybe your want for single life has overshadowed your understanding of forgetting Your Own Free Will, and somehow blaming God makes it a reason to feel that it's Gods fault with some unknown reason. God operates in order and for his own purpose. If you missed the boat it wouldn't be because God did it. He is a God of Love and compassion and not the author of confusion. Key words (I never wanted...)
---Carla5754 on 1/28/07|
part 2, I also believe that God has given us relationships ,and children, and families so we can relate in the flesh his nature of love.only by example can we grow and love as we should one another and God.God is are greatest and best example of love.when you trul love someone,and very few ever do by the example written in 1 cor chp 13 you will understand why we are lonely. I also believe we are lonley more because our relationship with God is not right.
---tom2 on 1/28/07|