Should I Marry An Older Girl
I'm 25 and considering to marry a 32 year old girl. Both of us serve together, but I have this fear that I'll regret this decision one day. Everything about her is all I want in a wife except the age barrier. What should I do?
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---alex on 1/31/07
Helpful Blog Vote (82)
Hi even am facing same problem am 29 yrs my boyfriend is 24yrs am very sincere in love am in love with him but I dont know is that right I dont know how to propose I want to marry him can anyone suggeest me and give me good ideas to get marry him ill he accept my proposal how to make him to love me I want best
---priya on 7/30/14|
I say go for it. My goodness if you love her but you are worried about her dieing before you, you never know who might go first! HALLELUJAH!
---catherine on 9/13/13|
I m 25yrs from India chennai(Hindu family-but I m follower of Jesus), loving 32yrs girl (Christian),for past 7years we are loving each other, starting my love was just infatuation, later started loving her after accepting Jesus as my savior. She want me to marry her immediately, but i m fearing about my future & child's life. how this world will see us,what bible tells about these kind of marriage? I love Jesus, please advise me my bro/sis.
---Abraham on 9/10/13|
Rhonda, love your answer. You are right about the boobs. Fake is fake is fake. One day she will wake up with fried eggs, then her man will kick her out the door.
---shira4368 on 9/30/11|
Wat should l do if happen dat am 25 yrs old of getin marry 2 32yrs old girlfrend cus evrytin l wan 2 a wife in her. Pls help me.
---Felix_anweting on 9/30/11|
That's not such a big age difference that it might cause trouble later in life. I think really big age differences are where problems really come in. Best wishes if you decide to marry.
---doraa9737 on 7/9/11|
Just follow your heart and no one can judges you and ask to God for his guide you whatever you have a right decision.life is so short just enjoy your life and throw your worried the important your happy with your love one God we give us eyes to see,heart to love,mouth to talk and more you know what i mean do not think what other says and speaking of love age does'nt matter.for me 25 to marry 32 its good and be sure your the same love each other.
---jacqueline on 7/9/11|
I am a christian & am 39 years old married to a 28 year old.We have ben married for the past 4 years now & by the grace of God we are so happy & content & comfortable with each other.If I had to do this all over again I would still choose my husband.When God brings you together you just know it.Allow God to be in control.If you have any doubts then its not the right relationship for you.
---Elaine on 6/30/11|
Terri that's great you married an animal - hope she doesn't scratch too much ...those cats are very difficult to tame ...Good thing it's a cat - lest a human being called a women be tied to you :) ...sorry for the poor girl duped by you ...when those bags stuffed into her chest burst and her "hottness" dissolves into old age I'm sure you will be seeking your next rich victim ...post is a telltale for sure
As for marrying an older women ...if it is an issue now it will be after marriage
when age is TRULY not an issue one doesn't boast or feel the need to mention it because they truly value and care for the person they have chosen to be their partner
---Rhonda on 7/29/10|
I would take the plunge. Seven years is a small gap between two people. It will be an issue if you let it be. Have Jesus(the head of the relationship) wisdom, understanding and most certainly, you must have love between the two of you. Jesus and love is the key or glue that holds everything together.
---Robyn on 7/28/10|
I am married to a cougar ( a 39 year old) and I am 22. We have two kids. Being married to an older women is great espescially if she is hot she is also quit rich.But don't take this like I don't love her she is fantastic. She recently got brest implants
this makes her hotter cougars do this a lot ( make themselves look hotter)
---terry on 7/28/10|
I think you are still young. You need some 5 more years to really see if she is the right woman for you. Would you marry her when she turns 37 and you are 30? Would you marry her if she turns 40 and you are 33?
33, btw is pretty young. You would find a 30 year old woman then and could have a family after 5 years dating/ or kids after even 7 years of marriage. Now that is the kind of relationship that could grow into something. If you are having doubts stand back and let her go. Or else keep dating for another 3 years at least. Don't rush into it now!
---kelly on 11/21/09|
I want to merry an older girl. I need just a patner for my study life.
How can I geting merrie?
---Nur on 10/30/09|
age does not make anyone wiser. There is a gigantic difference between wisdom,and knowledge.
---tom2 on 10/30/09|
Wait on the LORD on this issue. Your doubts may be of the Lord or human. It is only God's choice for you that shall be the best for you age difference or not. Wait on the the Lord to confirm. The Lord has seen the doubts in your heart and is waiting to counsel you. Depend on Him on this matter. All unions do have problems. The marriage that the Lord is involved in from the beginning is the most enjoyed & never leads to divorce.
---Adetunji on 10/30/09|
Alex, If, as you say, she is everything you would want in a wife"except the age difference" then I wouldn't worry about the age difference, provided you have prayed and sought the Lord's will in this matter. My mother was 12 1/2 years older than my father and they were married for 42 years when my dad passed away. The going will get rough from time to time, but, if you will stay focused on God and His word and will you will be alright. Also, think about the vows, "For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health..." Will you be determined to keep them?
---tommy7376 on 10/30/09|
DONT DO IT!!!
7 years is a huge difference! If you marry a 22 year old that is a 10 year gap that you will forever miss.
Ihave a friend who married a gal 6years older than him 21 and 27.
He has told me her age WAS and WILL ALWAYS BE an issue for the following reasons.
1. She told him she had to have kids in two years after marriage. And they did.
2. She thinks she is wiser than him so she does not submit and does not fulfill that biblical standard.
3. She is also MORE disrespectful towards him than a younger woman would because she thinks she is older and wiser than him.
Only insecure women will criticize you like your have the problem. You are NORMAL. Everyone deserves a marriage partner 100% in.
---JoeyJoJoe on 10/29/09|
You don't have peace about the decision to marry her, for whatever reason...so don't marry her. Lack of peace about the decision is the Holy Spirit's check. Don't over analyze it...just receive it. It could be that it is the wrong timing. Trust God to figure it out and just go with what He is giving you for right now. Most importantly, don't get married if there is no peace about it. It could be the wrong person, or the wrong timing...trust in God, He'll continue to lead you. Just take what He is giving you for right now and obey it.
---Shirley on 4/14/09|
You say that everything about her is what you want except the age barrier - so you stand corrected, not EVERYTHING about her is what you want. Unless you can come to terms with the age difference, then DO NOT marry the woman - she deserves MORE than that.
Obviously, discuss children and what you both want out of a marriage, but brother, it is up to YOU to make sure she is a well-loved bride, not a half-hearted decision.
p.s. What's the big deal with the age barrier anyway? You only have 7 years between you....that's not a mother/son difference, that's nothing! Do us all a favor and break up with her if you can't come to terms with it.
---Gina on 4/14/09|
And we surely are entering the end-times. It will be tough to be married during these times. Will you be able to keep a job to support the family? Have you considered finances?
We are not "entering" end times this is end times ...God is holding back ...while bridegroom tarried they ALL slumbered and slept
we don't know how long ...could be a year, 10 years or even longer
it's tough to be married anytime with a divorce rate more than 60%
every generation since Pentacost thought Christ was going to return in their generation including Apostles
Christ NEVER told Christians to STOP living ...live life get married but don't marry a women who "fits the bill" but you don't love
---Rhonda on 3/19/09|
Age (in your case) is not really a factor to keep you from marriage. But, there are important issues you must consider. First: does she want to get married. Second: you will need a lot of patience because of the fact she has been single this long she is probably set in her ways and may find it hard to adjust to marriage - especially having a man as the "head of the house". Three: Will you continue to work together in the future? Four: You need to discuss the matter of children. (Even those of the same age need to discuss this issue.) Five: make sure she not a "mother" issue to you. There's much more, but this may get you started.
---wivv on 3/19/09|
Do NOT get married.
Devote your heart to Jesus and spread the gospel of the Kingdom of God. The harvest is plenty, but the workers are few during these end-times.
And we surely are entering the end-times. It will be tough to be married during these times. Will you be able to keep a job to support the family? Have you considered finances? Women, in their hearts, do even though they say they don't.
And what about children? It will be even tougher to have children. Would you want to bring up children where it is not safe? Especially as a Christian? The odds are against parents to raise godly children today.
---Steveng on 3/18/09|
Joel, creation of adam and Eve has absolutely nothing to do with marrying an older woman.
now my brother,All i can say is. JUST DECIDE if she is really all what you want in a woman then you have to overcome this SHAME. which is a carnal thing.i know quite a few persons who married in this way and non(except one couple where the man is 35 and the woman 79) looks strange to me. just DO NOT BE ASHAMED. AND DO NOT ALLOW THIS SIN OF DOUBT destroy a good thing God gives you and your woman who both serve God.
(PS. but even with that one couple they turned out to be verry blessed as well. so who are we really to judge).
---Andy on 3/18/09|
7 year age difference is insignificant but your fear is real and will be realized ...age difference didn't happen today it was there when you met ...if a concern now it will be later when you are married ...marriage is not just about love compatibility communication and many other factors contribute to a successful marriage
if you have not communicated this to the women you are expecting to be your wife then you have committed fraud prior to marriage ...hiding concerns about your mate or life together prior to committing to marriage is fraud ...you don't make a business contract and change the conditions or voice concerns AFTER the fact ...if she were truly the one for you then age would not be an excuse
---Rhonda on 3/17/09|
Did not God first create Adam before He thought Adam needed a suitable companion? Did he not create them and see that it was good? This was before was sin was born in the world.
I think God wouldn't approve of any thing such as this. Do not forget in addition to this, all the things He's told us through Moses and Paul still holds good about a marriage. Its a committment and not an easy thing to compromise. If the girl is willing to marry someone this young, I am sorry to say but, she must be desperate.
I was reading this and something struck me to type and I believe its from God. I am sorry if it offends any reader. May God bless you all!
---Joel on 3/17/09|
well it depends how much u both luv u know even iam i am in love with a girth who is 2 years elder than me iam 18 and she is 20 i think u better sit and talk with her and for all goood thing there will be a negative thing so leave the negative thing and go ahead
---prakash on 3/1/08|
Pray about it, and keep on praying. If you have even the slightest doubt, don't do it. Ask the Lord to show you if it is His will for you.
---Helen_5378 on 6/17/07|
My sheep know My Voice. If you can't hear, you better hold off on making a choice for a mate. It will be a slippery slope and a downhill slide from there.
---PineyCone on 2/26/07|
I agree with PineyCone. I know this as a fact. Yes, we should present everything to the Lord for His approval, but when the right one comes along, the Lord is faithful to show you.
God promises us, if we ask for wisdom and believe that we will receive it, it is ours.
I do that, and I have to say that he should definately NOT marry this woman.
---John on 2/26/07|
"If this was the right one, you wouldn't be asking us. Second guessing, doubts, and confusion will not cloud your judgment when the right one comes along."
Thats not a fact.
---Kay on 2/25/07|
If this was the right one, you wouldn't be asking us. Second guessing, doubts, and confusion will not cloud your judgment when the right one comes along.
---PineyCone on 2/25/07|
You are right Melodi, you are the best person who can answer your question. If you think the girl is all that you long for then pray for it and you wont go wrong. My son's wife is much older than him but still bit immature.Age does not measure the maturity of a person.As long as you enjoy her and she has the same feeling towards you, then go.
---ana8864 on 2/25/07|
Clarification, "the writer", even though there are many stipulations one may personally have, if the Lord brings someone into your life, there should be no doubt this is the person for you. Operative word "if".
Suggested because the writer stated; "everything about her is all I want in a wife".
This would be according to the writers belief, per his statement.
---lynet on 2/24/07|
i dont think age should be an issue. if shes perfect expect for her age then why would her age matter that much anyways? i would understand if she were much much older like 60+. then yeah that wouldnt be a good choice. but women live longer than men usually. i married a man 9 years older than me and were doin fine. if u really love someone and open ur heart to them u shouldnt really have to ask anyone but urself. your the only one who can tell if u love her enuff to get past her 7yr age diff.
---Melissa on 2/24/07|
Alex, are you concerned about yourself? It seems that you are interested in what you want. Have you considered what is best for her? Have you shared this concern with her?
Where is the Lord in this relationship?
I am glad to see that you are considering. Please keep considering until God gives you and her perfect peace about this issue.
---Edmond on 2/24/07|
Fear is a very strong opponent of Faith. To fall in love at times can be uncontrolled, it just happens, however TO LOVE someone is a choice we make. you can fall in love but you choose to love that person unconditionally. this is the kinda love we are called for. i sincerely suggest that you pull back and consult the Lord and wait upon Him. Be honest with yourself, with her and especially with the Lord, cast your fears upon him for he cares for you and her. May Father grant you wisdom.
---melodi on 2/24/07|
"Lord brings someone into your life, there should be no doubt that this is the person for you."
I disagree. We even doubt the good things that are from God. Satan will also try to confuse us to cast doubt on something good.
---Kay on 2/24/07|
Leave her alone.
There are many who write on these blogs who are waiting on the Lord to bless them with a mate. And even though there are many stipulations one may personally have, if the Lord brings someone into your life, there should be no doubt that this is the person for you.
I sincerely pray that she does not see these blogs, you clearly need to reevaluate your needs for a mate, and seek th LORD for guidance.
---lynet on 2/23/07|
What does God tell you? You should seek His advise and not ours.
---Steven_T. on 2/22/07|
Don't do it Alex!
---Ken on 2/22/07|
Marie, whatever the obvisous reasons are!!!!
I think it's foolish for anyone to seek such advice on a forum when no one knows anything about him or his girlfriend. He'd be better off to seek private coucelling.
J_P situation has nothing in common with the original post above so he was too quick to offer an advice on unrelated situation.
---Caring on 2/14/07|
JP might be right, because of experience. Carla could also be right. Caring is not wise for obvious reasons.
My advice is to back off from marriage for awhile and even separate for a time, and see what happens. Your heart for someone will tell.
---Marie_C. on 2/14/07|
J_P is very wrong and Carla is very wise.
Take Carla's advice and in the meantime, try to grow up a bit.
---Caring on 2/13/07|
If I knew my intended to be husband went on the internet for advice whether to marry me or not I'd be very weary of whether I'd be doing the right thing marrying you. Not to mention how hurt I'd be. You either love the woman or you don't, people marry their intended on their death beads or with Aids, age is hardly a comparison!
---Carla5754 on 2/13/07|
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I would strongly advise you to think long and hard about this relationship before you end up messing this womans life up with your insecurities. Fast/Pray and ask God if your heart is right and if there is anything that you need to learn before you get married which obviously there is. Counseling should helpful.
---Carla5754 on 2/13/07|
Why do you think that when you marry someone your own age that when she reaches 32 that what ever your running from(?) won't hit you in the face when you both reach the age of 32 onwards.... Age is but a number and it takes maturity and wisdom to enjoy any relationship regardless of age. The bible says in Corinth 7 a woman must be of age to marry so she's well up to the mark how about you. I would question whether she should be so ignorant in marrying you!
---Carla5754 on 2/13/07|
Don't do it. You'll be divorced in a year or less. I can tell by your statement and your question. I have been married to the same woman for 31 years, and I think I know something about it. Trust me, alex, don't complicate your life.
---J_P on 2/12/07|
Wow, some really good advice here for you.
I just wanted to say my husband is 9 years younger than me and we are both Christians. We have a very happy marriage 29 years now.
---Virginia on 2/12/07|
Hi Alex ::It is said that Girls mature faster than Boys. If so, you are in safe hands as you have a lot of growing up ahead of you Besides older women are like a mama figure.They say Boys burn out faster than girls, but that is debateable.
---Emcee on 2/3/07|
Just some food for thought Alex. Women generally live longer than men, more widows that widowers. Its quite accepted to marry an older woman so your life spans will more coincide. You are young, and she is still in her child bearing years. Are you mature enough to depend on God to lead you to the correct answer?
---NV_Barbara on 2/3/07|
That is the cart before the horse, NanaH.
He's 25 and his words say, he's not ready.
Why push someone into a marriage that falls apart a few months later. Only to have him write back and say, it all went wrong. You're taking this personal, you're 7 years younger and all is well.
---Rose on 2/3/07|
NanaH., and if the cart before the horse scenario did happen, you would need to forgive. Men are coming home from war and their wives are leaving them. Happens everyday. If you don't forgive, your Father won't forgive you.
---Rose on 2/3/07|
Suppose she was 7 years younger and the
most desirable woman on earth and you
marry her. Now suppose; God forbid, she
has an accident and her looks turn to
hideous. Would you cast her out? Would
you tell her "Sorry honey, but for me it is the
full package or nothing at all"? If you were to
do that and you were my friend; that would be
the last day of our frienship. Furthermore I
would never forgive you; period.
---NanaH on 2/2/07|
Are you worried about what your family thinks? Mom, Dad, siblings?
Why give it another six months, if you have 'this fear you'll regret this decision one day.' You're not ready for marriage at all.
You're 25, give yourself some time to grow, and you won't need someone who reminds you of another Mom.
---Rose on 2/2/07|
alex...you don't say how long this relationship has been going on. If it is less than a year, give it another six months. Then see how you feel.
---Susie on 2/2/07|
thinking too much and hesitating for a right decision will make you lose more in your life !! haha haha hahaha
---licheng on 2/2/07|
As others have said, if you're already having doubts then in my opinion these doubts will get in your way of a happy marriage. I suppose its looked on differently, but my husband is 7 years older than I.
---NV_Barbara on 2/1/07|
Alex, you're getting contradictory replies here. Perhaps it's best if you speak to someone who knows you well and, of course, someone who's able to advise you and discuss the issue with him or her.
---Caring on 2/1/07|
It's Foolish to recommend it. It's not for you . What is going to happen when you find that younger woman you will be attracted to someday? You will! Don't marry this woman, because you have doubts already. What do you think is going to happen? You are not in love with her, it's only infatuation. Went through similar a situation where I could have sworn I was in love, but found out I wasn't.
---been_there on 2/1/07|
Alex, Forgot to tell you. When I finally did fall in love with a woman, it was like being struck by lightning! There was a HUGE difference. You'll see.
---been_there on 2/1/07|
Yes I would recommend you do so. Although my wife is shamelessly, disgracefully and reversibly older than I. What a tragedy, what a cradle, my wife is six months older than me, and I will never be able to catch her.
---Mima on 2/1/07|
"Religion does not matter"
Oh, but it does!!! If you are not a Christian you will not see the Kingdom of Heaven. A Christian should never marry a non-Christian. Religion doesn't matter only if you don't believe in anything.
---Susie on 2/1/07|
If 7 years age difference is your problem, then what is the real problem?
I don't see any. If you're in love and you share mutual respect and chemistry, go ahead and prepare to start a new happy life which I wish you from my heart.
---Caring on 2/1/07|
tks for the advices.regarding fear,idealy love casts out all fear.but realistically,i believe everyone has 1 when going into marriage.The thing is,how to get rid of them?i'm natually a pessimist&practical person.couldn't see beyond these walls.
---alex on 2/1/07|
Are your feelings about her age the real issue or what you think others feel about the age difference? Dig deep into your soul and see if that is the real issue or just the superficial one - then make your decision. First be honest to yourself about the relationship then work from there.
---caree3694 on 2/1/07|
My Chinese father married my Filipina mother. He was 30 and my mother was 15. We have a wonderful time as a family. I have 5 brothers and 3 sisters, Actually age does not matter neither was race a problem. What amazes me is that he was a Buddhist and she was a Catholic. Religion does not matter.
What matters is the love they have for each other.
---dela3435 on 1/31/07|
"but I have this fear that I'll regret this decision one day."
It is a simple decision but at so many levels.
Read Ephesians 5:25-30
Every situation has strengths and weakness based on the people involved and their commitment to follow Christ's will in their marriage and how clearly that ideal standard has been observed.
You Get what you put in because 2 become 1.
---Pharisee on 1/31/07|
Your question resolves around fear and doubt. What does that tell you?
---Pat on 1/31/07|
You are having doubts about 7 years. That is not considered an older woman under you. I married a man 22 years older than me. Now that's older! If you love this woman go ahead and marry her. Seven years will not make that much of a difference. You all are from the same generation. Pray over it and let the Lord show you what to do.
Many blessing to you.
---Robyn on 1/31/07|
Don't do it. If it's bothering you now, then it's over before it starts. Imagine how you will feel after your with her for awhile. If your really in love, then that much differance in age doesn't matter and you would not be as concerned as you are.
This is true: God as my witness. My neighbor John has been married for about 5 years now and they get along great. He is 32 and she turned 51 yesterday. True . Get out now. It will not work for you, I can tell. I'm about twice your age and I know.
---John on 1/31/07|
You should be going to pre-marriage counseling with a Pastor that knows you both well. The Biblical principle of finding wisdom in a multitude of counselors applies here. A counselor is not just any "Joe" on the street but someone who has been married successfully for many years and can give biblical advice. Does your girl friend know how you feel? Better be up front with her. If you hide things now, you'll hide them later. That's very unhealthy for a strong marriage foundation.
---Scott on 1/31/07|
If you are already having doubts do not get married until you have no doubt you are doing the right thing. Seven years is not enough difference to matter. If the age difference is bothering you now, it will continue to bother you and will probably bother you more as the two of you get older.
---Susie on 1/31/07|
1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love;but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment, He that feareth is not made perfect in love. This speaks of the love of the Lord but I think also applies to any love. We have joy in loving someone when they are right for us. You need to be honest with yourself and find out what and why you fear. Helen's right,pray and seek God's will. The woman could seem to be completely right for you but without it being in God's will she could still be the wrong one.
---Darlene_1 on 1/31/07|
You're expressing doubts now.
Has she been married before, with children?
If not, seven years is not that much. When you say serving, you mean Christ?
(Haven't already 'served' one another, I hope.)
---anonymous on 1/31/07|
Perfect love casts out fear.
If you have any hesitation, obviously you should not marry her.
---Jack on 1/31/07|