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My Husband In Massage School

My husband is currently going to massage school and most of the people there are women and all of his friends are women. He doesn't even try to make friends with guys. Should I be worried?

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 ---jessica on 2/14/07
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I would be more concerned about the school being reputable and can he be licensed in all 50 states after graduation. Most of the massage schools don't have the curriculum and facilities to deliver a comprehensive program. The only two I would ever trust are the Chicago School of Massage and Lindsey Hopkins Technical Education Center, Miami, Florida. I think you primary concern should be is he being ripped off by a bad school of massage. My father was on the Florida State Board of Massage for six years.
---notlaw99 on 10/19/08

Jessica......Your husband has more problems than just going to massage school. He needs to stay away from all those women and make some male friends. Sounds to me like he is a flirt which leaves all kinds of doors open for other problems.
---Susie on 11/14/07

I have seen both happen, trustworthy massage therapist, and untrustworthy massage therapist, in fact, thats how I lost my massage therapist, what you have said can not happen below me, did.
---Cynthia_1 on 3/3/07

I hope it helps.
---Parakeet on 3/3/07

Listen lady get real. I am a female. very attractive too. I have been seeing a Physiotherapist for a while now there is allways some professional distance they have to keep I mean they have to be friendly and approachable to their patients However, they still have to be at distant. there is a big responsiblity attached to with the job So, don't get paronoid women.
---Bachore on 3/3/07

Listen lady get real. I am a female. very attractive too. I have been seeing a Physiotherapist for a while now there is allways some professional distance they have to keep I mean they have to be friendly and approachable to their patients However, they still have to be at distant. there is a big responsiblity attached to the job So, don't get paronoid women. on top of all that... who wants a married man PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK
---Bachore on 3/3/07

Jessica, Don't worry, but be wise also. I can't tell you, and no one else can either say for sure if he is honest or not. You might know better than us. I can relate to the women friends thing though. I get along better with women, naturally, but that's me. Everyone is different.
---John on 3/1/07

if you have a loving and committed relationship why worry?is your husband saved?but i do think that it opens up room for temptation,but the bible says with every temptation he would make a way of escape.sit and talk with your husband and discuss your concerns.pray together that he will see the attacks of the enemy,and that he should resist the devil meaning woman who try to come on to him.ask did he pray about this job.would this be pleasing in the lords eyes.
---carol on 2/28/07

Bob, any reputable massage therapist will know that they never treat emergencies so they won't be turning up at any. The first thing that anyone should be taught in any branch of the health profession is to know one's limitations and when to hand over or leave the job to someone who knows more than yourself. Anyone who thinks they know it all should retire.
---m.p.a. on 2/25/07

Thanks Nurse. With all due respect, if I have a medical emergency, I hope a massage therapist doesn't show up in the ambulance, or emergency room.
---Bob on 2/23/07

Cindy, in NYS:
* Complete high school or its equivalent and graduate from a school or institute of massage therapy with a program registered by the New York State Education Department* as licensure qualifying, or its substantial equivalent in both subject matter or extent of training, provided that the program in such school or institute shall consist of classroom instruction with a total of not less than 1000 hours in specific subjects satisfactory to the Department.
---NurseRobert on 2/22/07

Cindy II:
* Complete coursework in anatomy, physiology, neurology, myology or kinesiology, pathology, hygiene, first aid, CPR, infection control procedures, the chemical ingredients of products that are used and their effects, as well as the theory, technique and practice of both oriental and western massage/bodywork therapy. Within the 1000 hours of education, you will have had to complete a minimum of 150 hours of practice on a person.
---NurseRobert on 2/22/07

The test for the license include:
I. Assessment & Evaluation (14% of examination--20 items)
II. Development of a Treatment Plan (29% of examination--40 items)
III. Application of Treatment Skills (51% of examination--72 items)
IV. Professional Responsibilities, Business Practice and Professional Ethics (6% of examination--8 items)
---NurseRobert on 2/22/07


I don't know, but that doesn't sound like a diploma mill to me.
---NurseRobert on 2/22/07

NY requirements:
Have received a degree, diploma or certificate from an approved program of massage therapy of at least 500 clock hours
Have completed a total of at least 800 clock hours of classroom instruction, including the classroom instruction completed in the massage therapy program from which you graduated, comprised of:
---Cindy on 2/21/07

Reports on a major retrospective study of stroke cases at two major academic medical centers, led by University of California, San Francisco neurologists, indicates that chiropractic manipulation of the neck can cause vertebral artery dissection, a tearing of the vertebral artery leading to the brain that causes stroke or transient ischemic attack.
---Cindy on 2/21/07

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If you've got a pain in the neck, think twice about getting your neck cracked. Spinal manipulative therapy, as chiropractors call it, increases your risk of stroke. One of the leading causes of stroke before age 45 is something called cervical arterial dissection. That's when one of the two arteries that wind through the back of the neck to the brain starts to tear. The lining of the artery bleeds and forms a blood clot. This clot can easily enter the brain and cause a fatal stroke.
---Cindy on 2/21/07

Alternative therapies are not for everyone.

Jessica has not given any more details. We're all entitled to our opinions.
---Cindy on 2/21/07

Cindy, do you have any idea what it takes to get a Massage Therapist License in most states.

Take a look at the Office of the Professions website for the NY state education department.
---NurseRobert on 2/21/07

Cindy, you missed the point about diploma mills. You said that the massage school the OP's husband goes to is a diploma mill. I know all about diploma mills. You should not assume that the massage school in question is one without more information.
---Madison1101 on 2/21/07

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-------- have all said they thought they were receiving a legitimate medical education from schools ... was promoting.

He practiced medicine without a license, supervised potentially dangerous injections for MRI patients and told patients he had trained at Johns Hopkins ...

Diploma mills are out there. Jessica has not returned, so I'm wondering.
---Cindy on 2/21/07

There are diploma mills out there.

... opened several medical clinics in ... where he worked without a license as an assistant to the very doctors he hired. When the clinics closed, he moved on to promoting various online schools that offered degrees in medicine and naturopathy -- a system of healing with natural substances. The schools were neither accredited nor licensed.

Yet the people who received degrees from the schools that ...
---Cindy on 2/21/07

received degrees from the schools that .. promoted opened real clinics, practiced in real offices and treated real patients.

... awarded a degree based on money and little work. Diploma mills generally have no faculty, little or no course work and either no physical campuses or inadequate ones.
---Cindy on 2/21/07

... has a license from practice acupuncture and massage therapy, and is listed as having a degree in "Oriental Medicine." He also has naturopathy licenses from two of the only places in the country that award them the District of Columbia and Bingham County, Idaho.

.. he did six-week rotations for orthopedics, physical rehabilitation and anesthesiology at an Accident Injury Center.
---Cindy on 2/21/07

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Cindy: There is a massage school here in my town, and all of the massage therapists at my chiropractor's office have gone there. I would not call any school a diploma mill with the little information given on this blog.

At my chiropractor's there are four therapists, only one of them is a male. That is 25% are male.
---Madison1101 on 2/20/07

Cindy 4: This still comes down to if the OP trusts her husband or not.
---NurseRobert on 2/20/07

I believe the choice of profession has everything to do with it. The massage school sounds similar to a diploma mill. From the short description, without Jessica coming back to clarify, does not appear to be training required for a medical setting. A quick fix for a shingle; and have table will travel.
---Cindy on 2/20/07

The divorce rate for Christians is 50%. Placing yourself in the path of temptation, with a propensity and preference for the opposite sex, does not contribute to the success of a marriage.
---Cindy on 2/20/07

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Jessica's question isn't really about whether or not her husband should be entering this particular profession. Nothing will change the fact that MOST of his fellow students are female but she tells us that his friends are also ALL female. Either she trusts him or she doesn't. He is either a faithful husband or he is not. I don't really think that his choice of profession has anything to do with this.
---m.p.a. on 2/20/07

NurseRobert...Home health care is also a medical environment. We have seen first-hand some of the wonderful home health professionals who go into the assisted living homes in which we minister. That is one of the highest callings the Lord has in my opinion.
---Susie on 2/19/07

Suzie, Many nurses do not practice in a "medical environment". Home health is a big area in health care now, where nurses go into the community and practice in peoples homes. When I lived in Dallas, I worked part time for a company that did insurance physicals. I would go into peoples homes to fill out paperwork and examine people, of both sexes and from ages 18 on up.
---NurseRobert on 2/18/07

I guess the whole point I'm trying to make is his profession has NOTHING to do with his actions. If he is going to fool around, he is going to do it regardless if he is a massage therapist or not.
We cannot use a broad brush to paint this picture.
---NurseRobert on 2/18/07

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NurseRobert...There is a lot of difference between a dedicated caregiver like yourself and a massage therapist who does not practice in a medical environment such as yourself. The fact that he only has female friends is a red flag. I have many male friends as I work in a mostly-male environment. However, I also have women friends. My husband would worry if I had only men friends.
---Susie on 2/17/07

A rare gem?? I don't think so. I'm just someone who goes to work and tries my best to do my job. I have been blessed with a wonderful wife. We have been married for 30 years and she is someone worth coming home to every night. She is the rare gem in my life.
Like I said... if she was jealous I would never make it as a nurse.
---NurseRobert on 2/16/07

Nurse Robert. I've pastored for over 20 years and can say without a doubt that the environment we place ourselves in has very much to do with our morality. Has all these years of you being around women left you without scars? If so, you are a rare gem. But this man has an obvious attraction to women already and has no male friends. His wife is rightly concerned as she sees this heading for a disaster.
---john on 2/16/07

MPA... I have to apologize, its been a bad week at work. One of my favorite residents is dying, and while I don't usually let it get to me, this one is.

I agree about the midwifery statement. Nurses do some very personal care for residents and patients. Our training is to be professional and above board at all times.

Besides, if you've seen one bottom, you've seen them all.
---NurseRobert on 2/16/07

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m.p.a., if I was armed with a bottle of massage oil, I would be bald-headed. If all my clients were men -I would have clients without a husband. Therapy in a hospital is different from the traveling kind. For Jessica, she has raised red flags that signal trouble for a marriage.
---Cindy on 2/16/07

Secondly, I have some friends who are massage therapists. They are the most professional people I have ever met. They know how to handle clients who get out of hand (both male and female) and would not do anything that would be considered inappropriate.

Clients are appropriately drapped at all times and nothing is unnecessarily exposed.
---NurseRobert on 2/16/07

Jessica has not revealed the nature of her husband's career. If it is 'have table will travel', I can think of one major ministry that was brought to it's knees over a traveling table. Once again, I would urge my husband to find another line of work. "He doesn't even try to make friends with guys." There's your sign.
---Cindy on 2/16/07

I have been getting therapeutic massage at my chiropractor's office for years. Some of the massage therapists are men, some are women. I think some of you need to get your heads out of the gutter.
---Madison1101 on 2/16/07

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Cindy would you feel the same if a wife was armed with a bottle of oil and all her clients were men? Some of you obviously do not see massage as a legitimate branch of the health profession. IT IS. I can't comment on Jessica's husband's friends being all women but the fact that his fellow students are is not at all unusual. Very few men feel welcome in this profession.
---m.p.a. on 2/16/07

Nurse Robert, if you were offended by my words I apologise BUT no offence was intended and I'm surprised that you took them that way. Massage is a very helpful treatment for many conditions and it is sad that the profession attracts mainly women. My point was that if this lady thinks that massage is too 'intimate' for a man to be involved in then there are professions that are much more intimate, one being midwifery.
---m.p.a. on 2/16/07

2. Also remember that, at one time, all doctors were men and they have to do some intimate examinations at times. I dont think wives in general disapprove of their husbands becoming doctors. Just as long as the training is 'above board' (and this can be checked out) then anyone should feel free to pursue a career in massage. Unfortunately though the very word 'massage' does not mean the same thing to all people.
---m.p.a. on 2/16/07

mpa...I thought your comment was funny. Sometimes we just need to lighten up around these blogs. However, if my husband decided to become a massage therapist, he would have only one client....ME!!!
---Susie on 2/15/07

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---Cindy on 2/15/07

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---Cindy on 2/15/07

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---Cindy on 2/15/07

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---Cindy on 2/15/07

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---Cindy on 2/15/07

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---Cindy on 2/15/07

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---Cindy on 2/15/07

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---Cindy on 2/15/07

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If my husband was armed with a bottle of massage oil, and all of his friends were women...I would urge him to find another line of work.
---Cindy on 2/15/07

Cindy?? a "manly man occupation." Perhaps you could explain what a "manly man" is and what the proper profession for him would be.
I would also suppose that you would consider MY profession as not being "manly". As far as the "have table will travel comment," your ignorance of the profession is amazing.

---NurseRobert on 2/15/07

and MPA.. I won't even begin to respond to your comment. It's extremely insulting to all men in the nursing profession.
---NurseRobert on 2/15/07

As for the rest of you concerned about a guy having female friends.... Ive been in nursing for 25 years. I have worked with, for, supervised mostly women my entire career. Probably 95% of my friends and acquaintences are female.

I can only say that Im glad my wife is not like you. You obviously have been hurt by someone. That certainly does NOT mean that all of us are like that.
---NurseRobert on 2/15/07

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Don't look for problems. Especially if he really enjoys what he is studying, and feels he would be good at it. If there is past history between you of infidelity, or you just have concerns, talk with your husband. He is the only one that can reassure you about this situation.
Above all remain prayerful.
---lynet on 2/14/07

If you are worried about him training to be a masseur then be extremely grateful that he is not training to be a midwife.!!!
---m.p.a. on 2/14/07

That would be the nature of the biz. It's not exactly a manly man's occupation.

I guess you can take some comfort that he's not seeking out men to practice on. Will his new skill be used in a medical setting? Or is this a "have table will travel" type of business?
---Cindy on 2/14/07

Have you tried discussing your concerns with him?
---Jack on 2/14/07

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I believe you should be worried. It is not right for a married man to have only female company. Are you born-again? If so, then pray and keep on praying that the Lord will turn him around in the right direction.
---Helen_5378 on 2/14/07

Do you have reasons not to trust him? Has he betrayed your trust in the past?
---donna6598 on 2/14/07

There are certain careers that would have a man spending more time with women. Massage school is one of them. If he is socializing with women after class, then there is a problem. He should not be socializing that way, unless the group is mixed with men and women.

Talk to your husband and find out what is really going on. Pray for him and your marriage. It could be totally innocent.
---Madison1101 on 2/14/07

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