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How Do I Cope With Life

How do i cope? My husband of 10 years left me and our 3 girls (9,7,3) since July. He has neither looked back nor helped us except to pay for school fees. Life is hard for us. We attend the same ministry but he won't allow anyone to talk to him about it.

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 ---Tessy on 2/16/07
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Tessy: I feel for you and your situation. GBU. But you have to let this man go. Stop playing poor little me. You have 3 angels who need you. And they need you to be strong for them. If dad is not paying child support,please look into that immediately. Make him stand up to his responsibilities, regardless of what! What kind of person is he? How sad. A man with 4 females around him is a blessed man but he failed to see that or understand that. Begin to work on yourself. Get a better job, go back to school, keep praying and ask the Lord to help you,show you what you need to do. And you need to leave that ministry asap. Seeing him all of the time is just going to keep you down and stuck in the past. Move on. Bless you my friend.
---Robyn on 3/1/11

kimberlynn9864, Looked at your profile. Says you are no longer a member.
---. on 3/8/07

Wow ,these sweet Bible passages are truly Inspiring! In 2Corinthians 12:9 Our Lord promises 'My Grace is sufficient for thee;My Strength is made perfect in weakness. We also read in Isaiah 46:4 'I am He who will sustain you;I have made You and
will carry you. How wonderful, to find His arms of Love and Mercy guiding us through rough and rocky roads before Us!
---rosem4839 on 3/6/07

have you ever thought after, "how did i failed?""what went wrong?" 'what is the lesson god have for me in this situation?" i am a man, my wife left me with my son, this is hard for me alone too, but i think through jesus, my lord and saviour, i am making it through. nevertheless i am sorry for such situation we all face in this life.
---rudra on 3/6/07

bless your heart. i am sorry this has happened to you. i was a single mother for a long time and it can be overwhelming. what helped me through was i went to jesus with all my worries, and sadness, lonliness. i also found other single mothers to talk to ask god to send you a support system. he knows what you need before you even ask. you are in my prayers. kimberlynn9864
---kimberlynn on 3/5/07

I shall let you know right now what true stability is. This is for all you people who thinks that you have really got it all together. True stability, is being able to keep Jesus Christ on your mind Continuously, through out the day. Now you tell me, "are you able to do that"?
---catherine on 3/3/07

Do you know what separates belivers from the unbelievers? The believers has to please God. The unbelievers do not have to please God.
---catherine on 3/2/07

In the name of Jesus I pray that God will send his loving Angels to overshadow you with his Love and Comfort you, Remember the children right Jesus we pray and give them that spirit to be able to look to you as the source of their comfort/needs, Strengthen Tessy/kids Right Now Jesus, God Cares and He Will Supply All Of Your Needs According to His Riches In Glory, grant you peace and contentment in him through his mercy and Grace. God bless you all XXXX
---Carla5754 on 3/2/07

i know what you mean Carla but what i am saying is that work isn't a way to solve the problem, it avoids it.
This is a Christian blog hence the Christian advice to help her in her faith
---johnloveslyn on 3/2/07

Sometimes we need to just ask the Lord to grant us the re asuring word that just wraps Gods loving arms around us when we are deserted and just ask God to help us feel his unchanging ever loving arms that can only come after we look to him above all the tears we shed, after all we have been through, and there is only God we can turn to, it's then we feel through him, the one that purchased our souls at Calvary to just his arms around us, :)
---Carla5754 on 3/2/07

After my husband left me six years ago, I went back to graduate school and pursued another career. I now have a full time job in one career, and two part time jobs in my new career. I am transitioning to the new career slowly. I work 12 hours a day three days a week, and every other weekend.

Don't sit there feeling sorry for yourself. Get a lawyer, and get a good job. If you are not qualified for a new job, visit your local college and ask about financial aid.
---Madison1101 on 2/28/07

How do I cope with life? You don't. Haven't you heard by now, God wants you weak and dependent only on Him. Put no confidence in the flesh. Put it in GOD!
---catherine on 2/28/07

jhonloveslyn, . A successful life came by boasting obviously the word ONLY COULD NOT pay my bills and feed my children. There are various ways to make money and one can be car boot sales if that exists where this person is from. even making sandwiches and going into workplaces, pubs and clubs, a friend of mine did and owns her own business. Another made curtains and left for Jamaica one way earned enough for flight back and Hundreds better off , excuse me!
---Carla5754 on 2/28/07

carla you have lead a successful life. Jesus said that when people come into the banquet of God some will not be able to make it cause they were too busy tilling the ground. Not everything can be sorted by 'success'. This is a mager issue and only Word to help.
Sister, love yourself in spite of everything you feel, love yourself and do not reject what comes against you.
---johnloveslyn on 2/28/07

Life at times is not always easy to cope with, especially when unexpected events happen in our lives. I can truly say at the times things happen nothing seems possible to take away the pain, hurt etc... But give all those cares, problems to God and he will work out the situation and show you purpose.
---Kymbe on 2/27/07

When I was abandoned by my children's father(unsaved at time) I had the determination to work hard and own my own business. I went on (public Transport) mobile until I raised the money for a car. I applied to this Trust and got 600 grant(1993) and I went into business paid the rent for a few weeks and loaned the rest for equipment from the same organisation, eventually I taught partime and ran a very busy and sucsessful business(2001) continued in teaching until (2003)all you need is dedication.
---Carla5754 on 2/27/07

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Tessy, isn't there anyone in your congregation who can be your friend at this time and walk you though this difficult time in your life? If you're not ready to file for divorce, then don't. If you are, then do. Find friends that will be able to minister Spirit and Life to you. That's what you need besides a divorce. Make your husband pay child support, he needs to do that. Talk to the Pastor of the ministry you attend.
---donna6598 on 2/20/07

Porter...The advise to get an attorney is realistic. This man is not supporting his wife or their children. I believe this marriage can be saved through prayer. But, meanwhile the family suffers.
---Susie on 2/19/07

The Pastor has clearly not done what he is obliged to do and frankly your husband should not be allowed in the congregation.
I would recommend that you do not get your encouragement from your church but you need to hold onto the deep bonds in Jesus. His wounds have paid for those bonds for you to never let go. Humbly accept what has happened and relate everything to Jesus suffering
---John on 2/19/07

Pray, seek God. He will give you the answers you need. There are many options available to you. But you must do what feels right in your heart. Your children are looking to you for their needs to be met. It is an emotional time for you, take your time, and think things through.
Once you make a decision, stick to it, and use the necessary resources to assist you to get things done.
I'm praying for you.
---lynet on 2/17/07

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The advice to get a lawyer and seek child support is worldly. Instead, seek the Lord, be patient and trust in Him. Going through tests is part of being a Christian. Swallow your pride, pray for your husband.
---Porter on 2/17/07

Tessy...Also, you need to get an attorney to handle this for you. He will assure that your husband pays for a divorce that he wants and child support. If you do not work, the court will, most likely, also give you spousal support. This is if your husband refuses to talk to anyone about the separation.
---Susie on 2/17/07

Of course after 10 years of marriage you are still hurting only a few months after your huband's sudden defection. Such ties are not suddenly broken without emotional backlash, so be easy on yourself.

For now, acknowledge your feelings and be easy on yourself.

But others here are right. You should take steps to see that the children's father helps support them.
---Jack on 2/17/07

Tess: I agree with susie. your pastor should have helped resolve the problem. He is the childrens'father. If he is attending the same ministry, he is being a hypocrite in the eyes of God. He is saying one thing, but doing the opposite. My prayers go out to you. we are here to help you. Now is the time to become selfless for the benefit of your children. love them more and teach them that not all men are like him. there are good men in the world that honor their commitments to God and family.
---Dave on 2/17/07

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I totally agree with Madison and Susie
---Kyle on 2/16/07

Well, you certainly should be expecting to get child support.

Often people will forgo pursuing this because they don't want to "make trouble" but what they are forgetting is that it is not your money. It is the children's and they have a responsibility on behalf of the children to make sure the obligation is met.
---Bruce5656 on 2/16/07

Tessy...I will pray for your situation. It is time that you asked the Pastor to bring you and your husband together to get this settled. I'm surprised the pastor has not already done this. It's his job.
---Susie on 2/16/07

Speak to the Elders of your church and seek their intervention with him. If they do not intervene, then you may want to attend a different church, so you are not seeing him all the time.

In the meantime, get a lawyer, and seek child support.
---Madison1101 on 2/16/07

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There is only one way to cope with life and that is to let Jesus carry you. Trust Jesus and never stop trusting Him.
---Helen_5378 on 2/16/07

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