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Husband Lives With Brother

My husband is wanting to bring his brother to live with us. He is mentally ill. Do you think this is a good idea?

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 ---Karen on 3/13/07
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Depending on his brother's professional background maybe he can help with your husband.
---Zapie on 11/13/07

Karen: Tough one. I would Pray about it. On one hand as a Christian you want to help. On the other hand your home needs to be your sanctuary. If the guy is a drug abuser and has not admitted a desire to get off the stuff then you may be better off keeping him away. God let the younger brother go to the far country so that hitting rock bottom he might look up and see where he needs to be.
---TS on 4/2/07

The brother is already in a group home and has a case manager. He has been on meds for years, but was off them last year and using drugs. My concern is that my husband will "hound" him constantly about going to church, reading Bible, praying, etc. Their sister is concerned with this also. My husband will not take No for an answer from anyone. He is known to argue with someone who does not agree with his religious convictions.
---Karen on 3/15/07


Jesus instructed us to invite those who cannot repay us in kind to our banquets.
Before you say that your like that ask yourself why it is that you don't want him to come.

What we give of ourselves to others for Jesus' name sake will be repaid in spades when the SHORTEST part of your life is over.
---Pharisee on 3/15/07

i think if husband's brother need temprary help it is good to help him but decision if he are to live with you permanently belong to you and only you. if you agree that's fine if you don't tht's fine too.
---Kasia on 3/15/07

"love thy brothers and sisters as ye love thyself"! just put yourself in your brotherinlaw"s shoes, if you were him would you need all the help you can get from your loved ones and would you expect them to help you?
---makgomo on 3/15/07

Dear i suggest you pray and ask the Lord for wisdom to handle this situation... if the brother has moved in already, still pray and ask for wisdom and guidance. God Bless you sister!
---melodi on 3/15/07

no one on this site can answer this question for you and it is because you and your husband have to come to an understanding on what this will mean to your family.can you handle his emotinal needs? is he a danger? do you have kids?pray about this with your family.God bless.
---carol on 3/14/07

There are so many factors here that are not answered. How long have you been married, what kind of relationship do you have with your b-i-l, is his illness under control with medications as many mental illness can be these days. I feel however that if you are questioning the idea, and feeling it may not be a good one, talk to your husband. God encourages us to talk to our spouse, come to a compromise. It is the only Biblical way to reach a decision.
---Cathy on 3/14/07

Why not, If you have the time. Do you belong to God? Because you will need His help. You will need alot of patience.
---catherine on 3/14/07

I have a mentally ill son who is staying with my mother. Please shed light as to the degree of your brother in law's mental illness. Is he diagnosed as mild, moderate, severe? This will help in the situation. If he's not severe or moderate, it's not bad to have a mentally ill person around you. Now if he's severe then it's best that he goes to a group home who has the facilities and staff to help care for him.
---Susan on 3/14/07

Another question to ask is "Who will be the primary caregiver?" Is your brother in law able to take care of himself in personal way? Does he need constant supervision or companionship? These are things you need to consider. If you would like to further communicate, please don't hesitate to send me an email. I have worked with adults with mental disabilities. God's blessings. Susan
---Susan on 3/14/07

OK! For those who cannot read my mind, here it goes. My husband who is NOT mentally ill wants his brother who IS mentally ill to come live with us. Do you think this is a good idea? The brother is schizophrenic. Is that enough clarification for you JACK! Love ya Brother!!!!
---Susie on 3/14/07

It depends; who is going to look after, care, daily for your husband's brother, you? Can you afford it in your relationship, do you have children?
---Junia on 3/14/07

I think if you have a strong family and you have the ability to bring his brother into your home - then you should do so. That is what Christ would of done. To turn his brother away would cause problems in your marriage as well.
---grace3869 on 3/14/07

Please clarify who is mentally ill. I would like to respond in a manner that will help give you a solution.
---Myrta on 3/14/07

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Has he exhausted all of his options with the social service agencies in your area. Does he have an ICM (intensive case manager)? Is he stable on medication and in therapy? These are all considerations. I have mentally ill family members that I would gladly take in if need be, because they are stable. I would not take in an acting out person who is not medicated.
---Madison1101 on 3/14/07

I'm sure she means the brother is ill.

Is it a good idea to bring that illness into your home? No, it's not really good for the marriage. I suppose he's hit hard times financially and needs a place to go. Family is family. Short term, maybe. But get busy and search every state/financial assistance option available. Help find a solution.
---Cocoa on 3/14/07

You've not made it clear who is mentally ill. "He" in the second sentence refers to "his brother," according to the rules of grammar.

You've also not said what the nature of the mental illness--whether you or your husband--is.
---Jack on 3/13/07

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