I Am Considering A Divorce
I am considering divorce. I'm in the military, and my wife and I have been married 3 years, and we have a 2 year old. I'm afraid that I will never see my daughter once I move to a new base. My wife and I disagree about seemingly everything. Ideas?
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---S on 4/5/07
Helpful Blog Vote (6)
You have the ability to win your spouse to the lord through your conversation, conduct and love It's not easy and it won't happen right away leave and produce a damaged wife/child over your departure Think looooooooooonnnnng and harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd satans is about to throw his head back and have a good old laugh at God at YOUR EXPENSE read Job and ask yourself the question Divorce can be irreversible when the grass is not Greener on the other side will you MAKE another Godless marriage work then
---Carla5754 on 11/14/07|
You have to be the man and leader of the house, you're not allowed to be loud or overbearing but gentle and giving up all things as are needed to keep peace.
If wifey doesn't learn it from Christ in you where will she get it?
The worst temptation comes at the moment we are feeling a sort of great loss or disappointment, Ephesians 5:25, how you should offer her to God you should strive to think of her.
---Pharisee on 11/14/07|
Find a Good Christian counselor that will advise you from the Word of God. Search the web under Christian Conflict Resolution and Peacemakers...stay away from the wordly psychobablers.
You both need to place God first in your lives, each other second, then children, family and ourselves last.
---TS on 4/17/07|
I would make an appointment with a Chaplain on your installation, fully explain the problem and background circumstances and be totally honest with him/her. They carry a great deal of leverage with Command Authority and they can refer you to other support agencies both military and civilian.
---notlaw99 on 4/8/07|
I see your problem. But I read that God hates divorce. You made a mutual promise to stay together. Find a way through it all. Humility and Love is the solution. You are one flesh, remember.
---Wesley on 4/8/07|
First of all, are you seeking Christian Counseling? What is really behind all this? I was married/divorced. I am a Believer. My husband was abusive/unfaithful with a man. It's taken me 10yrs. to overcome my struggles from what the divorced caused. I will never marry again. It would be wrong. So I am single. Please seek counseling for both of you.
---Carol on 4/7/07|
This sounds like a case of ''Irreconcilable differences'' A house that is divided against itself, will not stand, A marriage is like building a house one brick at a time starting with a proper foundation, No one ever yet has been able to build a marriage from the roof down. Get Christian counseling, because now you have a 2 year old to consider.
---Cynthia_1 on 4/7/07|
"S"oldier: I was in the military (retired in '91). Know this, i.e., you are in a war! (1 Pt. 5:8; 2 Cor. 10:4; Eph. 6:10-18)
Divorce is only an option in the event of desertion or infidelity. Reconciliation should always be the main consideration. (1 Pt. 3:7; Eph 5:25-31)
Fight for your family! Prayer is firing the winning shot! (Jas. 5:16) Don't let the enemy win! Don't allow your wife & child to become casualties of war!
You & family are in my prayers.
---Old_Soldier on 4/7/07|
God has a plan to turn this situation around if you will only take the time to seek Him. There is a book and video set called "The Five Love Languages" (by Gary Chapman) that will get you started in the right direction. Like Pharisee said, you are the leader of your home. Women are designed to follow after love. If you take the right steps toward healing your marriage, she will follow. Please get this book, you will be surpised how easy it is to turn your marriage around.
---DoryLory on 4/7/07|
At end of day your happiness is dependent on God.
If people pray hard to God before marriage they will marry out of true love, and blessings will follow. If they don't marry out of true love, God can and i am sure bless your marriage, but in a different, but just as equal way as others. Your wife and you can find happiness, and different sort of blessings to the first marriage scenario i describe. But it will take lots of hard prayer to get there. I am sure it will be worth it in the end!
---Ed on 4/7/07|
Every marriage has its problems but things change over time. I for one would not want to look back and wish I had not made the mistake of not hanging in there.
As to your fear that you may not see your daughter again at your new base, will you be there forever?
Even if your wife & you disagree on things, you need to realize that on some things she may be right. Better to work out disagreements then to do the chicken walk.
---lee on 4/7/07|
Don't do it. You have your child to consider. The only time a heart truly becomes broken is when someone quits. Go to a christian marriage counselor or your pastor for help. Most importantly, pray. Joy9988
---Joy9988 on 4/6/07|
hey bro, ive been through 2 divorces. the first one i cheated. my recent i stayed away from anything eluisive like bars and such but we lost our williness to talk and trust. the first one i deserved, but the second one she give up. theres only one reason if you have ABSOLUTE cause. dont let ego or pride (satans) tools cause you to give up.prioritize your time and issues wisely. one bad choice can ruin the wonderful things in your life.
---ronaa5573 on 4/6/07|
Don't believe it for one minute, God is able to establish and sustain you all once again if you only believe.
---Carla5754 Amen, and S I can tell you Jesus is the answer because first his love overcame my stubborn heart, and when he does that and you turn to him (read the gospels and repent) he gives you a new stubborn heart that will not be overcome by evil, but will overcome evil with Good.
Pray to recieve the Holy Spirit that you take up the life of Christ he freely laid down.
---Pharisee on 4/6/07|
---S Friend::Why did you marry her?was it love or something else?Remember it is a contract before GOD.From Love trust is born.when God asked Adam why did you eat He replied "The woman gave me to eat"He was not man enough to take the responsibility.We all cannot tell you what to do, you already Know.It is harder to repair than preserve.Things once broken remain shattered.& you are NOT allowed to go out & buy/get another. This is why Divorce is NOT recomended.So rebuild rather than break.
---Emcee on 4/6/07|
Let me tell you something great! There is Nothing that God cannot do if you only look towards him for strength and the way to save your marriage(LOVE) is the answer. We are living in a society that advocates divorce at a drop of a pin. Sometimes because of abuse/cruelty separation it's inevitable, but think about it. God would have you stay and be a good husband and father to your family than a statistic, to abandon the most important foundation next to Gods church, the family/home.
---Carla5754 on 4/6/07|
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First are you and/or her Christians? Second, have you tried counseling? If you are Christian/s take it to God in prayer, talk with a counsellor in your church. The decision you make will affect more than you may know. Don't base your decision on fear. Base it on the Word of God. Even if you get a divorce, make sure that you have visitation rights or even joint custody. Being in the military cannot prevent you from seeing your child. Hope this helps. I pray that God will give you the wisdom you seek.
---betty8468 on 4/6/07|
2# DON'T >listen to the world<. Forget those excuses they're from the pit of Hell. If you have faith you'll know that we fight against powers that are not easily detected which appear big in your weakness (faith). In weakness YOU are made Strong in Christ. See the situation for what it really is ''That Old Lying serpent the devil'' at work again trying to destroy your marriage. Don't believe it for one minute, God is able to establish and sustain you all once again if you only believe.
---Carla5754 on 4/6/07|
You and your family belong to him and if you will lean not on your own understanding but in all, your ways acknowledge him, he promised to direct your paths. put things on hold if you can and while your away take time out to pray and ask God to Guide you, through his Holy spirit, we will all be praying for your deliverance! God bless and keep both you and your family and use your time away to find what is Gods good and acceptable will for your marriage/life.
---Carla5754 on 4/6/07|
Please do not give up on your marriage. Have you tried couples counseling with your Pastor? Is there a couple in your church who can mentor you and your wife? If it is possible, ask people whom you trust to pray for healing in your marriage.
---Lori on 4/6/07|
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The military is notorious for having marriages that end up in divorce. Very few stay married. Is there any way you can find a different career? If your career is causing this then you need to make a choice. Stick with your vows and choose her.
---john on 4/6/07|
Divorce is not the answer. That is the worst thing you can do. If you two truely love eachother, you can get through this with God's help. My husband went through the Police Academy. Grant it, it isn't the same as your situation, but we got through it. I knew in my heart that he was following his dream, and I was behind him 100%. Your family can get through this if you trust in God.
---Rebecca_D on 4/5/07|
I suggest you pray and seek the Lord about your marriage. Scripture says that divorce is not an option in most cases. Study 1 Corinthians to see what Paul said about divorce.
Prayer is very powerful. I also suggest you consider marital therapy for both of you to learn to compromise and not disagree about everything.
---Madison1101 on 4/5/07|