Wife In Love With Two Men
My wife and I have been married for 32 wonderful years. She has told me she in in love with another man and wants the three of us to live together, keep the itimacy of each separate. What should I do, I am torn in this? I am very much in love with her. She says she is in love with us both.
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---Eddie on 4/10/07
Helpful Blog Vote (21)
Brother, I assume you are a Christian? Dear Brother, if you could only hear your own question from someone else's lips, while at an earlier time in your marriage....you would see how unthinkable and out-of-the-question your wife's request and desire is. Your wife belongs to YOU. YOUR body belongs to your wife and her body belongs to YOU. See I CORINTHIANS 7. To share your wife with another man is not the thing to do in GOD's Eyes. Your wife is way wrong. She should be happy to have you. Something is underneath all this, that is causing your wife not to be satisfied with just you. Don't know what. But, GET WITH GOD with this. And, by any means, DO NOT LET HER WISH COME TRUE! If you want your marriage to be intact and honouring to GOD, that is.
---Gordon on 10/11/10|
Well, Eddie, that's part of the drama here on planet Earth. The Almighty set us up with women, who are the most fickle creature in the universe. The very next pair of shoes they see is their favorite and this is another great argument for women staying home and out of the workforce.
Recently, I read an article about how women contemplate leaving a good marriage and a good man for another, just on the premise that, even though she is happily married, there is the chance that she could be even happier with someone else. Makes me sick.
Do yourself a favor and dump her and then get yourself a golden retriever...a creature that always forgives, is always happy to see you and will never kick you out of bed.
---Higgins on 10/11/10|
Sorry this has happened to you, Eddie. Remind your wife that even though her heart is so big she has room enough to love two men, that she said she wouldn't and even made promises to The Almighty that she would stay faithful to you and forsake all others.
Because your wife does not abide by her promises you are not bound to keep her as your wife and can marry once more. She, on the other hand, is an adulteress, and it makes me sick to think that you are worthy of "sloppy seconds" after she is done with her "lover".
It sounds like she has been enjoying your 32-year marriage more than you have. Let us pray that she does not bring you home an STD for your efforts. May God be with you and guide your every step.
---Higgins on 10/11/10|
well id it were me i would bring home 2 women i wasin love with tell her they stay with us he cant touch them, neither can she and we can all live together see what she says about that!
---gary_salmon on 10/9/10|
I've read most of the blogs under relationships on CN.
You would be amazed at the amount of troubled, loveless marriages with one spouse having an affair, coming out of one, getting ready to jump into another form of adultery. Home wreckers and wrecked homes, all the while preaching the Gospel without batting an eye.
I've prayed for many of these troubled marriages but have narrowed it down to about one or two people. I get the same check in my spirit when I read the answers or the questions.
---lovable_linda on 12/11/07|
As weird or as sad as it sounds yes you can love two men. God help me but I do and all the prayer in the world has not changed this for me and my lover would be happy to join our family. No you cannot "marry" both but some hearts are just meant for more than most.
---kate on 12/11/07|
Look, i can relate being in love with two people, but she has to make a decision. It is not fair on any of you. The reason is that i foudn something in the othter man that i didn't have with my first boyfriend. i suggest you go to a marriage councellor and find out what that is.
---angelface on 5/6/07|
James 1:8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
James 4:8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
---Rachel on 4/25/07|
Sadly,it is very possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time.It happens all the time.Look at OT polygamy...it worked for a reason.However,she may love both,but she is in a convenant relationship and must choose only one.It is a difficult situation.What are the unspoken circumstances?Was this an old love who came back into her life.She just may need lots of prayer to make the right decision.
---judy on 4/24/07|
Telling her it's adultery and all that won't work. She's beyond attempting to even think about it.
Best is try to get her to join you to seek councelling.
---Caring on 4/18/07|
Jesus said if a man LOOK up on a woman to lust after her he has committed adultry already in his heart. This applies to women too! Althought a lot of people think if they dont touch, it is ok to fantasize, but that is not what Jesus says!
---ANN on 4/13/07|
LEAVE HER if she talking like that i wouldent doubt her having sexual relations with him alredy christ said you cant serve god and satan u must chose one
---robert_m on 4/11/07|
She promised to "forsake all others." Anything else is Adultery. Tell her clearly that her desire is sin against God. Draw a line, let her know that if she continues Adultery you will divorce her.
God was patient with the Jewish nation yet ultimately He divorced them that would not keep the covenant.
Keeping her covenant is a choice. If you love her then Speak the Truth Boldly and accept only repentance and fidelity. Any other way leads to ruin....which she may choose anyway.
---TS on 4/11/07|
God sees you and your wife as one and nothing should defile that. Your wife needs serious counselling and I hope you are not even going to allow what she wants, she should be content with you after 32 years and keep your marriage pure in God's eyes.
---Junia on 4/11/07|
Your wife is being tempted by the flesh.
It is not the will of God to have several people involved in an intimate loving relationship. How do we know this?
Marriage was instituted by God as far back as Adam & Eve... which is the model of marriage ( one man & one woman ).
The thought of sharing anyone's mate destroys the intimate one flesh concept.
Read your Bible, pray and expect God to answer.
Rochester NY USA
---Dan on 4/11/07|
Ask her if this was in her vows to you when you got married. What she has for him is not love, it is lust.
Go have a talk with the man and tell him to get out of your life, he's not welcome. Your vows never included him.
---john on 4/10/07|
It sounds like heartache for you either way. 32 years is a lot to throw away, but you would not be the one throwing it away, she will. If you allow this, she will lose all respect for you and whatever love she may feel will disappear. Don't set yourself up for more pain than you can endure.
---grace3869 on 4/10/07|
Ask her how would she feel if you fell in love with another woman and wanted her to share you with this other woman. If she says it would be no problem, then I dont think she knows what love truly means. I mean, whats to stop her from falling in love with 2 or 3 or 4 or even more men? Are you all suppose to live together happily ever after? God bless you. Pray about it.
---sue on 4/10/07|
Well, you could join the Mormon church.
You would have to move to Utah for this form of polygamous marriage.
You could take stock of what you're saying here, have someone slap your face and snap out of it. You're in shock, if this is a legitimate situation.
Are you a Christian? If you are, you know you cannot do this.
---BMW on 4/10/07|
The rest of the story----she wants you to continue living in the home that she has shared with you for all these years and now share it with this other man. Your wife is already involved with this man. It would be interesting to put the three of you in one room and discuss this situation with the other man. Did it ever occur to you that he might object to sharing "YOUR" wife? Why would you even consider this arrangement? I imagine you are still supporting her financially.
---Susie on 4/10/07|
It is impossible for her to be in love with both of you at the same time. I would tell her no, this man can not live with us. If my husband told me that he was in love with another women, I'd, tell him, "There is the door and don't let it hit your butt on the way out". If you can handle sharing your wife with another man and be intimant with her after he did, then that is up to you. I couldn't and wouldn't do it.
---Rebecca_D on 4/10/07|
Eddie you are nuts to even consider this! Obviously none of you are Christian or this question wouldn't come up.
This gal, and you need LOTS of help, as you're getting rid of the 'extra' guy!
---NVBarbara on 4/10/07|
Contrary to what she is telling you, She is playing you for a fool, she loves the other guy but does not mind you hanging around as long as you open yourself to it. In the long run to make your long story short, I will bring you to the end of your book and let you know what will happen, she will end up going off with the other guy into the sunset, and leave you there to cry for the seeds you have sewn. Do not be a fool, whatsoever you sew you will reap.
---Cynthia_1 on 4/10/07|
What should you do? Make her choose between obedience to God in saving your marriage, or leaving you to divorce you. In the meantime, pray.
---Madison1101 on 4/10/07|