One thing to consider: If you are not legally married and one spouse dies or become mentally disabled, the other spouse may have no legal authority to make medical decisions and they could lose possessions and money in case of death. The medical decisions and possessions will go to the closest living relative unless there was a living will and a power of attorney designating the other spouse ahead of time, and even then it can still be contested by family members. If you are legally married, you are automatically have legal authority.
---Jed on 4/29/13|
Original government, it was instituted by the catholic church. People thinks its God so they hurry to get the paper. It doesnt make two become one,but is for legal purposes only. We obey the laws of the land only when it doesnt override God's intent. license has nothing to do with God's approval, its between u and the state and not God. There is not such thing as shacking up, u live and lie with the man or the woman and they are ur spouses. when it comes to God, its called 'two become one, joined together'.. applies to a man and a woman. I hate when people lie that they need a license and to stand before a man to say its ok. I dont need nobody to ok my life except God. Since when does man becomes God and override the truth. Foolishness!
---vkerrid on 4/29/13|
I am so very confused about the institution of marriage..have no idea
---Sarah on 7/27/12|
The word of God says to obey the laws and every ordinance of man. It also says to do all things honestly in the sight of man and God.
There are some things that may seem trivial but carry a great consequence.
Most Christians no longer believe in waiting until the Spirit of God brings the right man and woman together and the scriptures show that is how they should be joined.
What God hath joined. Not what christiianmingle or the internet hath joined.
When men changed the ministry from a calling to a career the bottom line is money and not the leading of the Spirit.
The consequences shall be great.
---Frank on 7/1/11|
Still, very sad if ALL you depend on in a marriage, is a piece of paper, secular governments grant. I wonder if Peter and the married diciples had a slip of paper to prove thier marriage or did they just live in sin?
---michael_e on 7/1/11|
sad marriage if all we depended on was a man-made, paid for piece of paper ...I don't recall God asking me for that proof
sad lives for those who follow ignorant men choosing to live for the world and lust by living in sin without marriage ...their empty lives are led by those who HATE Gods ways
MANY are led to practice lawlessness to Gods way of life choosing opinions of men instead and living as the world lives in sin ...fact is more so-called christians today live their sinful lives as a "couple" playing house as man and wife without ever seeking marriage ...amazing how many dismiss Holy Scripture YET live as the sinner unable to see the sacred bond marriage brings to the union -- THAT is truly sad
---Rhonda on 7/1/11|
It would be a sad marriage if all we depended on was a man-made, paid for piece of paper, granted, a piece of paper makes it legal in man's eyes, but I don't recall God asking me for that proof
---michael_e on 6/30/11|
a license is right, and fornication is wrong.
---Eloy on 6/30/11|
What about this "John 4:16 He told her, Go, call your husband and come back.
17 I have no husband, she replied.
Jesus said to her, You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.
---christina on 6/30/11|
EnlightenedOne - so why a marriage ceremony in Song of Solomon. yes you need a marriage license so that when trials come you just can't leave because you will find away to use the no license as an escape goat. No license no divorce.
---Scott on 6/30/11|
1 corinthians 6:16, Genesis 2:24
The sexual act binds you in marriage. Not licenses or ceremonies, or other traditions of men. So if you don't plan on spending the rest of your life with a woman don't sleep with her. It harms you and her spiritually.
---EnlightenedOne on 6/29/11|
This blog just goes on and on.
If you want to have an honorable standing in life and a clear conscience, get a marriage license and marry legally.
Anybody have any GOOD reasons to live together WITHOUT marriage?
---Donna66 on 6/4/11|
counterfeit christianity uses Holy Scripture AGAINST ITSELF to live and practice lawlessness
even Christ understood divorce ...a writ of divorce during time of Christ and clearly many many centuries prior yet because marriage is not SPELLED OUT with a contract in NT the WICKED self-proclaiming false christians declare it is useless
how foolish divorce is written yet marriage wasn't?
anyone will use any excuse to break Gods Holy LAWS and live IN FORNICATION rather than live a HOLY life under marriage
wicked living in sin unmarried and self-professing christian living in sin unmarried looks the same to me
---Rhonda on 6/4/11|
There are certain mutual rights, protections, and privileges that lawful marriage gives that concubinage doesn't.
Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/3/11|
my last point before the last blog reached its 75 replies was to illustrate the fact that while some people were advocating that marriage through western society was not marriage biblically, no ceremony.
I forgot to ask then how come Jesus attended a marriage.
It was a ceremony where they drank wine and no doubt there would have been food. So all those who tried to advocate weddings were just westenised traditions... pls explain the wedding in Canan!
---Carla on 6/3/11|
we need a marriage licence
for giving marriage...
---shubhangi on 5/31/11|
Everyone, we keep talking about LEGALLY, CONTRACTS, etc.... if we come back to the basics that it is ordained of GOD and not by anyone or anything else, then nothing else matters at all. The bible says Adam knew his wife. where was the ceremony, where is the contract, the marriage is of GOD, end of story.
---antonerio on 8/27/09|
Hi, thank you so much, we've moved the wedding date up also--to October 24th! Yikes lol! We're happy though, God bless you guys, Mary :)
---Mary on 8/21/09|
We will, Lord allowing, be married New Year's eve day
---Mary on 8/19/09
Just in time for a tax break!!!!
No, seriously... Congratulations!!!
---NurseRobert on 8/19/09|
Best wishes and blessings to you, Mary. May you have a long happy life together.
---Donna66 on 8/19/09|
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Congratulations, Mary, that is wonderful news!!!
---AlwaysOn on 8/19/09|
Hi all, I am soooo happy today! :) My dear boyfriend became my fiancee yesterday--yes, he proposed marriage and I gladly accepted! :) We will, Lord allowing, be married New Year's eve day and I can't thank God enough for the blessing he brought to my life in Dan, only pray I can be remotely as much of a blessing to him as he is to me. :)
---Mary on 8/19/09|
You are very welcome, Mary. A couple of my posts didn't get through, either.
Always remember marriage's only requirement is that a man leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife. (See: Gen. 2:24, Matt. 19:5, Mark 10:7)
God (not man!) joins a couple and they are not to be separated by man either. (See: Matthew 19:6, Mark 10:9)
There is no record of the patriarchs, prophets, disciples or our Messiah ever "performing" a ceremony. Nor is there any mention in the Bible that documentation legitimizes marriage. Legal protection is offered by a license. However, one doesn't "make" a couple married.
---AlwaysOn on 8/15/09|
Hi, I just want to thank everyone who has replied to me, unfortunately they haven't been posted on this blog for some reason but I can see them when I scan the most recently done blogs, anyway thank you all for your responses and hopefully they all get printed up soon, God bless y'all, Mary :)
---Mary on 8/14/09|
Virgil Coopers experience was interesting.
The State does have an interest in marriage and it's "fruits", but courts generally concede that parents are responsible for minor children,...except in cases where parents are deemed unfit by the court.( It does give the gov't an astonishing amount of power) BUT
As a practical matter, this applies WHETHER OR NOT you obtained a marriage license.
A marriage license is verification that you ARE married, assures your child of being supported by SOMEBODY should the union fail, and determines who are legal heirs in cases of probate.
---Donna66 on 8/13/09|
If you Google: secular marriage virgil cooper
you can read what one man learned about what the marriage license means in his state. No matter which side of this conversation you fall on, I think as believers, all will find his account most interesting. To find out what it means in your state, you may want to inquire as he did. It is important that, before we enter in to any contract, we fully understand exactly what the contract means and what all it entails.
---AlwaysOn on 8/13/09|
Once, I went to city hall and asked what is involved in getting a marriage license. He was very helpful, simply telling me to fill out a form and get the blood testing. Then he smiled and said something like, "Oh, there is one other thing > you need to bring the lady with you to get your license." Make sure you understand *this* > a marriage license is not like a hunting license that you get first and then go hunting > find your lady first (o:
Do you *have* to have a license? I'd offer > marriage in Jesus is a Family thing, to be shared with all the others. This should include others helping you discover each other and come together, not some isolated using each other thing.
---Bill_bila5659 on 8/12/09|
>>>understand that as christians we are not to enter into contracts...contract = swearing an oath<<<<
If this is true, we are all sinning if we rent or buy a house....or for that matter, buy most anything. These activities all involve contracts. One side promises to pay, the other side promises to deliver. A signature on paper takes the place of an oath. But if you break a "contract" you will soon find out how binding it is. (more so than an agreement made with just an oath)
Without binding contracts, our lives would be chaos! Thus, I don't believe the Lord prohibits our entering in legal contracts.
---Donna66 on 8/12/09|
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Yes, I think that documenting marriages probably dates back as far as written language. Heritage and geneology was especially important to tribal peoples. Hey, a war could erupt if a man could not prove his parentage and right to marry a certain woman!
Today a lot of couples never think about the legal protections they forgo, for themselves, and especially their children, if they fail to marry officially.
---Donna66 on 8/12/09|
Not enough room to give you all the facts, but look into the Justinian Code (see the Medieval Sourcebook and research terms "spurii" and "sine patre" relating to inheritance and paternity). Also research the history of matrimony and study what the word license legally means. Note how the Council of Trent in 1563 made it a requirement for Catholics to be married in church before 2 witnesses and a priest, and study how civil marriage and ceremonies grew into religious events by the 18th century in Europe, which led to these customs eventually being brought to the American colonies. Also learn how Whites were able to marry free Blacks during African Slavery (the beginning of today's "license").
---AlwaysOn on 8/12/09|
it is suprising how many of the christians today have not read their bibles and only have knowledge that comes from the pulpit. Jesus said, "let your yes be yes and your no be know". that alone should be enough. as fas as giving unto ceasar and upholding the law of the land if it does not contradict scripture...understand that as christians we are not to enter into contracts...contract = swearing an oath. Jesus spoke out against the swearing of oaths...use a concordance and study 'swearing', 'oaths', and similar words and concepts.
---crystal on 8/12/09|
Mary -- I'm just curious where you got the information that until 150 years ago there were no ordained or licensed ministers to marry people. The liturgical churches have been around much longer and had clergy that married people.
But even without a minister, people married.
Even today, you know that the un-churched, e.g. atheists, also marry.
A "marriage" requires ONLY
recognition by the State (or whatever the governing authority may be), nothing else!
I'm sure the marriage of Rebecca and Issac
was recognized by the tribal authorities.
---Donna66 on 8/11/09|
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Hi everyone, well I've recently read that up until about 150 years ago, there were no ordained and licensed ministers to marry people: that the people just said their own vows before God. And I also read that Isaac took Rebecca into his tent (before a marriage ceremony) and made her his wife and she comforted him after his mother's death. Was this a wrong thing? I'm not arguing with anyone, I'm just really confused, thank you to anyone who answers--but please anser kindly, thanks :)
---Mary on 8/11/09|
Hi, thank you :) I really appreciate your reply. :) It's funny, we're married in spirit and heart to each other but he lives (temporarily) in veteran's housing and I live in my own place, we are both itching for the day we can finally call a place home--together. We are thinking it will come very soon, by Christmas if not before so we are feeling very hopeful and excited for the future. :) Happy that God is blessing you and your wife too :)
---Mary on 7/22/09|
>>>We have, in private, with rings, committed our love to each other and we meant it before God.<<<
My question is, if you REALLY meant it before God, what's wrong with getting married? Maybe YOU meant it but HE didn't. How will you know?
How "committed" can anyone be if they are not willing to make a LEGAL commitment?
It's a very short-term commitment when one deliberately leaves a loophole.
This is not the kind of relationship God wants for you. He meant marriage to be permanent. If you truly love each other, put your fears aside, marry, and trust God to help you make it work. If you can't do that, what you have is fornication...plain and simple.
---Donna66 on 7/21/09|
Mary it seems as though you have done the right thing in getting married to the man you love. Dont get wrapped up in man's ways or that you have done it in private. If you want a record of it then record everything in a family bible. As long as you're not living together without the committment. I'm 32 and have been married for 12 years without a license, and my marriage is more blesses than ever...
---antonerio on 7/21/09|
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Good question Antonerio, hard question but good one. I am at the same point as you--have no answer but it's got me thinking, as I am in love with a man I hope to someday marry "legally" and believe we will someday--but in the meantime, how do we view ourselves? We have, in private, with rings, committed our love to each other and we meant it before God. So yeah, I would love an answer, anyway God bless ya :)
---Mary on 7/20/09|
Jan that was a good point that it all is paperwork. If a man/woman are just living together then that is sin (shacking). Anyone who desires marriage can do it alone or with friends/family. Either way as long as it is right in the eyes of GOD, you are OK. lots of people marry with a license and GOD did not ordain it. what do we say to that??
---antonerio on 7/18/09|
My own feeling is that if you trully commit to one another before God there is no need for any kind of documentation.
God knows your true heart, HE does not need paper evidence to proove anything. My actual marriage took place between myself, my husband and God alone in an open woodland clearing. The registry office was simply a formality required by the laws of state today. Open your hearts to each other and to God, swear your love to each other before him alone. Why are we so desperate for other peoples acceptance and acknowledgement. God knows wether you are married in your hearts or not, the rest is just paperwork !
---Jan on 6/27/09|
Living together instead of getting married is a sin. It means you're committing fornication.
---Betty on 6/25/09|
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when we look at marriage we have to understand its origin (not what the law says for us to do) we must render those things to caesar which are his. Marriage was not of caesar but of GOD(YAH), you can actually write in your family bible the date of your marriage and it still carries the same weight of a license. a license gives the state jurisdiction over your marriage, which is of GOD, then the state and not GOD is over your marriage. that same marriage goes along with the separation of church and state.
---antonerio on 6/23/09|
Of course you need to married with a license, are we entering that group spoken of in the bible where people encourage others now not to marry, okay if you can encourage someone not to marry how are you actually defining what is married?
As long as you take a man/woman and have a ceremony, involving someone legally able to preform binding two individuals in Holy matrimony [YOU IS MARRIED] and need to be if you live a Christ-like life that is right in the sight of God.
---Carla3939 on 6/16/09|
Here is another question. Is a couple that are athiests who do not swear a vow before God married? How about the couple that goes to the justice of the peace? I think that if people make some kind of lifetime commitment with vows then they are "married."
That is the definition, but I also think God must be part of it for it to REALLY mean anything.
How does God view the couple that just "lives together" faithful to each other as their ONLY partners for a LIFETIME (I know one such Jewish/Catholic couple), vs the couple that has a Christian marriage, and then gets divorced and remarried (I know many)?
---obewan on 6/16/09|
Yes you need to be married. Needing a license depends on where you live. In 7 states it's illegal to say you're married without one. If you live in one of the 43 states without this law you don't need one, BUT the marriage isn't legally recognized (exception: commonlaw states). Another difference is in your commitment. "Just" living together is a weak commitment. Marriage is lifelong. No wiggle room for affairs, your spouse should be esteemed higher than yourself, you must practice a 1 Cor. 13 love ESPECIALLY in hard times and a man must love his wife as Messiah loves the Church. The ONLY out clause in marriage is if your spouse commits adultery & you cannot forgive. Greater commitment than "just" living together.
---AlwaysOn on 6/15/09|
marriage is a union between a man and woman and was ordained of GOD. The bible teaches us that Adam knew his Wife and we never see where a license was used or issued because it is of GOD. Marriage licenses were originally issued if an interracial couples wanted to marry. Later it was mandated that everyone get them. It is all about the $$. George Washington did not have a marriage license. A piece of paper does not mean you are married, it has to be ordained by GOD.
---antonerio on 6/14/09|
The pastor says, "By the power invested in me (by the state) I now pronounce you husband and wife." God requires us to abide by our state laws, so long as those laws do not lead you astray from His laws. Therefore, if the state required a license to be married, and you are calling yourselves "man and wife" in your state, then a license is required. If you are girlfriend and boyfriend, then don't act like husband and wife either. A license is required to behave as husband and wife.
---Vanessa on 6/2/09|
If the Christian marriage is a great mystery like Christ and His church when did Jesus ask the government to give Him permission for us to be His? A pastor says, "by the power invested in me (by the state) I now pronounce you husband and wife." Where is Scripture to support the idea that Christians are married if the state says so? A pastor goes to the state and asks "it" for a license to marry God's people? We are not of the world. Lets think...
---Vanessa on 12/22/07|
You need to be married with a license. This makes the union legal, binding and blessed in the sight of God. Anything short of this is a sham. God does not bless this type union. Man can put together whatever he wants(shack up unions etc...) God does not honor this type foolery. Only a man and woman union,by the way. God's way. That's it.
---Robyn on 5/19/07|
I believe a man and woman become married in their hearts before in a ceromony. Their love for each other, if genuine, will keep them committed to each other forever. The license is for making the committment "official" as far as the government is concerned. God knows whether or not two people are truly married. You need to decide if your marriage is out of love or lust. You don't need a certificate for love, but it does help tell everyone you are serious about your committment.
---Anthony on 5/19/07|
The big difference in having a license and one living together is the fact that Jesus demonstrated that there was a wedding ceremony just as you register a vehicle for legal purposes, One has a license to say you have made a legal commitment to another that is a law binding agreement which is witnessed and documented for future reference. Without one you have nothing legal place to say you have complied with with the Law of marriage.
---Carla5754 on 5/19/07|
It is now lawful for two men or two women to be married in certain jurisdictions. The couple is issued a legal marriage license and there are even churches which will perform the ceremony. All perfectly legal. Do you, as Christians, consider these folks to be married couples? Or does the law suddenly not matter in regard to who is married in God's eyes?
---ralph7477 on 4/21/07|
Render to Ceasar that which belongs to Ceasar. Jesus did not come to tell us to flout lawful authority. And marriage licenses are lawful. Most churches will not marry you unless you first obtain a marriage license. I did not like having to get one before I got married in my Church, but nothing in scripture could get me out of it and I will not live in an unblessed union.
---lorra8574 on 4/20/07|
Jack, give book, chapter, verse for your Orthodox version of a Communion ceremony, and only the "bride and groom" communicate.
Give book, chapter, verse for each religious tradition that you follow and expound on.
You don't, Jack. You just POP OFF your thoughts.
---Pat on 4/17/07|
RebeccaD., Jack used to ask that question constantly. He rarely, if ever, gives any
---Pat on 4/17/07|
Jack: do you even read God's word? Or are you to lazy to look up scriptures yourself, and ask and expect another person to look them up for You? Scriptures stating that a man and woman become as one, when married. Genesis 2:23-24, Mt 19:4-6, Mk 10:6-9, 1 Cor 6:16-17, Eph 5:28-31. More scriptures concerning it is wrong in God's eyes for a couple to live together and not be married. 1 Cor 7:2-3, Heb 13:4. So now knowing these verses, what are your beliefs on this subject?
---Rebecca_D on 4/16/07|
**It is Biblically wrong. God sees you and partner as one and in spirit you become one,**
Junia, please tell us WHERE in the Bible it says that God sees the marriage partners becoming one in spirit.
Give book, chapter, and verse in your answer.
---Jack on 4/16/07|
Jack: Mk 7:21-23, Ro 1:18-25, Gal 5:19-21, Eph 4:17-19, 5:5, Col 3:5. It is wrong for a man and a woman to live together and not be married. Are you saying it is okay with God if a man and a woman shack up together and not get married?
---Rebecca_D on 4/16/07|
I was (we were) married in an Anglican (Episcopal) church without a licence. For 3 sundays in a row they read the bans (a declaration of proposed marriage)4th week we were married and it was perfectly legal!
---1st_cliff on 4/16/07|
I don't know how old you are, but imagine you live together with someone for ...say 5 years, and then you decide it doesn't work and split up. After that you carry on like that with multiple partners for life. How many partners will you have eventually and who will feel the most used? It is Biblically wrong. God sees you and partner as one and in spirit you become one, how would several partners be after 50 years and how many "spirits' will you be hosting!
---Junia on 4/16/07|
** If a couple isn't married and living together it is wrong in God's eyes. There is a big difference between living together and being married.**
RebeccaD, can you tell us what a man and woman must do to be really, truly, and validly married in God's eyes?
Give book, chapter, and verse in your answer.
---Jack on 4/16/07|
I have performed dozens of marriages, some with no license. Many people don't realize that it is not a requirement by law to have a license in order to be married. A pastor is not disobeying the law by performing a wedding without a license. The government will just not consider the couple married in their eyes until they have lived together for a certain amount of time.(usually 6 mo.) After this time they automatically have marital status.
---john on 4/16/07|
If a couple isn't married and living together it is wrong in God's eyes. There is a big difference between living together and being married. It is called sin. If a couple really love eachother, and can see themselves getting old with that person, they should get married, if they are mature and of age. But the marriage license is just a piece of paper saying that this couple is married by law. If anyone has to ask this question, they surely don't need to be thinking of marriage.
---Rebecca_D on 4/15/07|
Brian, if you don't know the difference between marriage and concubinage, you have no business doing either.
---Jack on 4/15/07|
It's more of a legal requirment than a spiritual one. (Unless adultery or fornication is involved.) However, a Christian is admonished to obey the law - hince, a marriage license should be had since it is a legal requirment. You could also have social back-lash - especially on the children of a non-married couple.
---WIVV on 4/15/07|