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How To Forgive A Sinner

How can I forgive someone who has not asked forgiveness? God forgives the repentant sinner, but the sinner must ask forgiveness --- at least, that is my understanding. What about someone who hasn't, and won't, ask forgiveness? Wouldn't "forgiving" just mean excusing the inexcusable?

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 ---Elsbeth on 4/26/07
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Believe this or not, God forgives us of crimes that we know not of. Jesus is our advocator to the Father and is always interceding on the be-half of His people.>>>I tell you the truth.
---catherine on 6/10/08

Why shouldn't we forgive? God forgave you and me for our sins and transgressions. Are we superior to God?
---Mona on 6/9/08

If we read Mark 11:25-26 and Matt.6:12-15 it doesn't say that the offender has to ask, it just says for us to forgive and if we don't neither will our father in heaven forgive us. This tells me He will forgive us the way we forgive others. With the same judgement we give, we will receive.
It doesn't harm us to forgive. You can still rebuke and reprove if necessary. It's the debt of offence to you that you have forgiven.
---john on 6/9/08

Thank you Cynthia; bless your heart! :) I'm just sooo sorry about your husband and your father; that is awful! :( My mom hated my ex and one time they had words like you wouldn't believe; whew! Anyway God bless you honey. :)
---Mary on 5/14/07

This kind of forgiveness is as much for you as for the sinner. While it is better if someone repents of their sin and apologises to you (as they should with God when they sin), when you forgive someone else you are letting go of the hurt and setting a good example. Forgiving is not the same as excusing. Jesus forgave the Adulteress but then instructed her not to sin any more. He did not excuse the adultery.
---lorra8574 on 5/13/07

This is a very hard and hurtful topic to speak on. But God has commanded us to forgive one another. Especially other Christians.We should do that with His help. But it is not easy to do. Especially when someone has deliberately hurt you or yours and refuses to ask forgiveness. But harboring unforgiveness against anyone is hurtful to oneself, in the end. It can manifest as ulcers, heart attacks and other illnesses. We must learn to forgive.
---Robyn on 5/11/07

You forgive someone who has not asked for forgiveness by going ahead and being obedient to God. He command that we forgive. It is hard, yes, its very hard, sometimes to do that but we must! We have to go to God everyday and ask for forgiveness, suppose He refused us. He does not, so we MUST forgive others, their sins against us. I would not feel right asking God to forgive me knowing I had just refused someone else a pardon. In order to receive forgiveness, we must give it. Plain and simple.
---Robyn on 5/11/07

Forgive as Christ forgave us all...
---duane on 5/11/07

Christ HAS're given tickets to go somewhere u couldnt afford .the ticket's bought you don't board plane it's useless. my son,age 11sexually abused by church worker.destroyed his life and family relationships, I know difficult to forgive sometimes, but not to damages us and GOD is judge (But i do believe offenders should be punished by the state for crime)forgiveness releases us to be what God desires without a root of bitterness growing inside us.. let him without sin cast first stone..
---doree4573 on 5/11/07

Mary: You are such a precious person, I have scoured the responses on each and every blog, and have yet to come across any one that touches my heart the way you do, I applaud you for your openess on these tough blogs. You have suffered SO MUCH...I want to say that indirectly, my husband criticized me and tore me to shreds with his words of hatred to my fathers face, and gave my father a heart attack, with his hurtful remarks, he never asked forgiveness, and I am still with him.
---Cynthia_1 on 5/11/07

As best I can, I have tried to forgive the man who murdered my brother; still it doesn't mean that what he did is okay but I will let GOD be the Judge, not I. But I don't think we have to necessarily LIKE the person to forgive them; obviously I can't see myself ever "liking" my brother's killer but I can forgive as best He will help me to.
---Mary on 5/10/07

You always forgive an unbeliever. For a fellow Christian it is a little different.

Luke 17:3
3Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.

In this case discernement and Godly reasoning is required. If a Christian sins against you rebuke Him until they repent, then forgive them. It is an outward sign that there is no tolerance for unrepentant sin in a believer.
---Matthew on 4/29/07

It shows the one who sinned against you they need to repent. There may be times though God wants you to forgive them anyway. We need the guidance of the Holy Spirit in these situations. We can't abuse this passage and use it as excuse to harbor grudges. Grudges are not ok even in this situation. The not forgiving here isn't about holding a grudge but instead showing our brother their error can not be tolerated nor condoned. Love doesn't tolerate sin ever.
---Matthew on 4/29/07


Specifically what part?
---William_Halverson on 4/29/07

You could go to the offender and tell the offender, "You offended me by your ..." This may prompt them to apologize (ie: ask for forgiveness), then you can forgive them. But they may also be one of those whom could care less that they wronged you, then you are not obligated to forgive them, but you may hold them accountable and even take some steps to correct them if you so choose, depending on whatever the violation was.
---Eloy on 4/29/07

when we forgive, now I mean truly forgive someone and harbor or rehash over and over their act towards us,it frees are spirit to move on with God.In my opinion forgiving as a christian is being like jesus.and actually our lord commanded that we not even sacrifice to him if their is unforgiveness in our lives.we must attempt to get right with one another before we approach God.
---tom2 on 4/29/07

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Duane ... Have you NEVER sinned since you were saved?
---alan_of_UK on 4/29/07

"How can I forgive someone who has not asked forgiveness?"

By making that choice. Eph.4:32 "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another 'even as God for Christ sake hath forgiven you'."

"Wouldn't "forgiving" just mean excusing the inexcusable?" No.

Not doing so would be inexcusable. Mat.4:15 "But If ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
---joseph on 4/29/07

Of course we will find it hard to forgive when we're hurt The revelation of forgiveness is to forgive regardless and guess what we are also to restore the person back to their original status before the falling out, can we do that? Oh... but is what we Expect from God to do with Us, or else we would be bound for Hell with our unforgiving selfishness.

Forgive Be Obedient and ''Do it anyway''

God said he will forgive us too if we demonstrate that we also showed forgiveness regardless!
---Carla5754 on 4/29/07

Confession time:
You know in writing this I too remembered that I had not forgiven someone that kept hurting me over and over again. I decided to cut the person off but did not feel at peace, I had been avoiding reading this blog because of this but I found that in the words that I had written, I had better regardless of being asked by the person forgive and let it Go. Iron sharpens Iron. Gods word is truly a two edged sword it cuts both ways Forgive and do it Quickly!
---Carla5754 on 4/29/07

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You must forgive them any how. God saids to be quick to forgive. He does not say anything about waiting on the other person to ask to be forgiven. IF that was the case, which it isn't, we would all have a real problem starting with receiving forgiveness from God. And I think pride, you have a bit of a problem with. Waiting on the other person, forget it, you may wait along time. Mabe forever.
---catherine on 4/28/07

Duane: You've said earlier that you repent of your sins. But yet you said you don't ask forgiveness, except one time when you became saved. Now when you repent for your sins to God, is this how you do say it, Well Lord, I've done this and I'm really sorry. Then go on about your day? If so, the Lord is saying, do you not want to be forgiven? Because you didn't ask. Repentence means to feel sorry, much regret. It doesn't mean forgiveness. How do repent you if you don't ask for forgiveness afterwards?
---Rebecca_D on 4/28/07

Your quote about forgiveness....tell me where in the bible to find it, please
---duane on 4/28/07

....Most Christians say they are saved but deny they ARE forgiven. They ask forgiveness everytime they sin. That means they are unforgiven, and that means they cant be saved...Ive never heard of an unforgiven saved person. Impossible..
Lots of double talk and denial..
The bible says, your set free from sin and dead to sin. We are continually washed in the blood. Salvation is life, sin cant enter.
What did Christ do for you?

---duane on 4/28/07

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You forgot something..Christians live by faith...We love and serve, we dont sin cuz we can get by...your talkin about an unsaved person. We are led by the Spirit.
---duane on 4/28/07

Madison1101 - Jesus has already paid the price for our sin on the Cross. However, to have those sins forgiven, we first had to ask for forgiveness from the Lord, that is when we became born-again. From then on in, we must ask the Lord to forgive us when we sin, and also for forgiveness for sins that we are not aware of that is so-called sins of ignorance. Forgiveness is not automatic. Once again I refer you to 1 John 1:9.
---Helen_5378 on 4/28/07

I just have to say this: What awful presumptuousness has anybody got to even think that God just forgives us without us even asking Him. As Nana said, we then must only ever say the Lord's prayer once. And as Susie brought out we must forgive others before the Lord can forgive us.
---Helen_5378 on 4/28/07

The big question seems to be should we ask for forgiveness after we are saved. Well, while you are praying and you only going to ask for stuff, then you can just stuff it.
---catherine on 4/28/07

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If a man has sin IN HIS HEART, and has not sought repentance, he is not forgiven.

This is different from the man who makes mistakes but seeks perfection.

An example is King David who was a man after God's own heart.

It is natural for man to judge. We are in fact called to judge. But we are not called to seek after revenge.

To judge means to build the body of Christ while revenge is destructive.

The world says what is in your wallet. God says what is in your HEART.
---William_Halverson on 4/28/07

Yeah right, once forgiven for all times? Maybe Jesus meant for
us to say The Lord's Prayer only one time, being that we ask for
forgiveness in it?
---Nana on 4/27/07
---Nana on 4/28/07

Duane...Thank! Now I can go out and live anyway I want and do anything I want because I am forgiven already. That is great news. Now I can stop living a Godly life and start living for the world. That is exactly what many will think if they read your post. You can get born again and keep practicing sin.
---Susie on 4/27/07

..Does anyone know what Christs death did to sin?...People memorize the bible but dont even know what Christianity is.
Jesus saves us from sin.. (How does He do that?) He takes sin away, How??? By HIS death we HAVE forgiveness. Sin has no power over us, we are set free from sin, we are dead to sin. BUT no, Christians are still asking for forgiveness. When will they just receive it and praise God for it. Jesus died one time for sin...He wont do it again.

---duane on 4/27/07

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Helen and donna, what about the sins that the Holy Spirit has not brought to our minds, that we are unaware of? Are they not already forgiven on the cross?
---Madison1101 on 4/27/07

Madison1101 - If we are already forgiven, then how do you explain 1 John 1:9 ("If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all righteousness"). Are you saying that once we are saved we no longer have to ask the Lord to forgive us when we sin?
---Helen_5378 on 4/27/07

If this statement is true that Madison1101 (whom I love and adore) made:

Also, we are forgiven in spite of our lack of repentance.
Madison, that isn't true because 1John 1:9 says, "IF we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." John was writing to Christians. King David sinned and until he repented, he suffered the consequences of his sin, didn't he?
---donna9759 on 4/27/07

Madison...So, are you just ignoring the scripture which says that if we don't forgive God won't forgive us?
---Susie on 4/26/07

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Elisabeth, do you want God to forgive you of sins that YOU have not thought about and explicitly asked to be forgiven?

Then extend the same to those who sin against you.

To drag strangers into the conversation, Someone greater than anyone who posts to these blogs said, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us."
---Jack on 4/26/07

Madison, you are so correct....Very few admit to this truth....(We are forgiven)
---duane on 4/26/07

Elsbeth, forgiveness is a choice you make whether or not the other person asks you to forgive them. Once you choose to forgive, "Father I choose to forgive that person who hurt me, but I'm still hurting please heal me of the pain they have caused me." Once you say that prayer, cast your pain and hurt upon the Lord, and by you forgiving, it releases YOU from harboring bitterness. The other person still suffers the consequences of their sin. Leave them in God's hands, let God deal with them.
---donna9759 on 4/26/07

Scripture says that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. God did not wait for man to repent before providing Christ's death. Also, we are forgiven in spite of our lack of repentance.
---madison1101 on 4/26/07

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It is hard, but possible with help from God. You may (in time) forgive this person, but unless this person asks God himself, God won't forgive them. If you don't forgive this person, then God won't be able to forgive you. Mark 11:25-26. If you have any grudge against anyone, get it resolved by going to God. If you think you don't have any, ask God to search your heart, like Job. If there is anything hidden in the heart, believe me, God will bring it to the surface.
---Rebecca_D on 4/26/07

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