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Living With Wife A Sin

I am catholic and cohabiting with my wife but my Church says I am living in sin because the marriage is not sanctified in church. Is it really written anywhere in the Bible that before man and woman become husband and wife the union has to be legitimized in church by a priest/pastor?

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I think that as long as the marriage is recognized by the state(i.e. you got a marriage license and it was signed by the two of you, your officiant and two wittnesses), then you are truly husband and wife. There are so many people that get married in a JP, on cruise ships, etc. And they are just as much husband and wife as someone who went through a church ceremony. If you are recognized as husband and wife then you are married and your church is just trying to be "stupid" or something.
---Jamie on 2/3/08

The church is the "wife" of Christ.

Is 54:5 For thy Maker is thine husband
Jer 3:14 . . . I AM MARRIED UNTO YOU . . .

We must obey Christ, not His wife, who can only remind us of our duty to Christ. She is not THE Authority. Only God is THE Authority, not His wife.
---aservant on 5/30/07

Yahweh speaks on marriage: Gen 2:24 ~ Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (also Matt 19:4-6, Mark 10:6-8, Eph 5:31, 32).

"Cleave" (Strong's)
1) to cling, stick, stay close, cleave, keep close, stick to, stick with, follow closely, join to, overtake, catch

Did Messiah, apostles, patriarchs & high priests officiate marriages? How did the patriarchs marry their spouses? Isaac's example: Gen. 24:67.
---AlwaysOn on 5/28/07

I entirely agree with you Madison, there are some things that God is silent on and marriage is one of these and I think for a good reason: God didnt want legalism (either by the Church or the State) to take the place of love. Marriage is an act of love and the law adds nothing to it. Thats why most of our marriages here in the USA are legal but over 50% of them end in divorce, even among born-again Christians!
---Rooney on 5/28/07

Catherine, we do need to look to the Bible to find out how God feels about every issue in this life! It is the Constitutional reference on any issue of life for a serious Christian - including marriage. I think the Law is for the Pharisees Christians who cant do the right thing unless they are forced by the law. For children of God, the Spirit is their law. Do as the Spirit of God leads you; you're under no condemnation (Romans 8:1-5).
---Rooney on 5/28/07

Wow, and I thought MY ex had a lot of nerve! :O Susie, your ex takes the cake!
---Mary on 5/27/07

**My answer was simple. "If our marriage is annulled, our children would be illigitimate."**

Actually, they would NOT be illegitimate in either canon law or civil law.
---Jack on 5/27/07

Susie, it's not true that having your marriage annulled in the Catholic Church will make your children illegitimate. There is a difference between a legal annulment through the court and a church annulment. The church annulment doesn't say the marriage never existed - it says it wasn't a spiritual union.
---grace3869 on 5/27/07

Years ago, my ex-husband asked me if I would sign an affidavit stating that the divorce was my fault, so that our marriage could be "annulled" by the by the Catholic Church and he and his fiance could get married in the Catholic Church. My answer was simple. "If our marriage is annulled, our children would be illigitimate." He never asked again.
---Susie on 5/27/07

Madison 101, in the RCC, marriage is the only sacrament that is bestowed by the couple, the priest only presides over the affair and provides guidance. If the priest won't marry someone, there is usually a good Biblical reason for it. The Bible is clear on some instances where by a couple would be forbidden to marry and if a priest were to marry them, or otherwise condone their union, he could potentially burn with them in Hell instead of saving them. This is about his conscience, not just theirs.
---lorra8574 on 5/26/07

judge not that ye be not judged. who cares who performs a marriage ceremony. priest, minister, pastor, rabbi's performed marriages in the bible to answer the question, or my pet dog. as long as a licence is acquired and signed by everyone involved, the marriage is legal in the eyes of the law. that is all that matters because all mortal marriages end at death anyways. people too often can't see the trees for the forest and become overly righteous when acceptance is the only key they need.
---ashley on 5/26/07

AlwaysOn, The Bible does not record every detail of every sacrament. The Jews also followed Sacred Tradition in the form of the Oral Torah which they viewed as being just as inspired as the written Torah. Seek a Jewish website for the details - three elements were needed for a marriage to be valid - a token (coin or later a ring) was given to the woman by the man, a written "prenup" was prepared and given to the woman, and the union was consummated by sex, and not necessarily in that order.
---lorra8574 on 5/26/07

Catherine, some pastors will not marry a couple if either of them is divorced, regardless of the circumstances of the divorce. That is why many Christian couples use a judge to marry them.

I believe who marries the couple is a personal decision for the couple.

As for finding chapter and verse in the Bible, it is necessary to help other Christians learn that there are some things that God is silent on, and this is one of them.
---Madison1101 on 5/26/07

Matthew 4:4 ~ It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

Who performed ceremonies in the bible?
---AlwaysOn on 5/26/07

Interesting! What most are saying is that if the couple have a marriage license from government, they are married in the eyes of God. What if they dont have even this licence? Here in Africa, over 75% of couples are neither married in church nor by the state many a man and woman just leave their parents and become one. Isnt marriage a union of two willing couples of the opposite sex, whether or not licensed by the church or state?
---Levi on 5/26/07

Do we really need to go looking for chapture and verse in the Bible to find out how God feels about every issue in this life? Some issues are just common sense. A justice of the peace is okey. But why wouldn't a true born-again believer not insist on having a pastor [a saved one ofcourse] perform the ceremony. As far as having the whole thing done in a church, at home is just fine. Ofcourse, as with everything, seek God in it. No living in sin. You must get married legally.
---catherine on 5/26/07

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aservant, I doubt that God would fault a person for things truly beyond his or her control. It is another matter to get married and refuse to invite God to the ceremony by either electing to marry only civily (Justice of the Peace) or shacking up while attending church with full access to the means to rectify that.

Either God is first in your life, or He isn't.
---lorra8574 on 5/25/07

I have never seen anywhere in the Bible that it says the church has to sanctify a marriage. I know that the Bible does talk about that fact that you should be married to be living under the same roof and be in a sexual relationship. If anyone has Biblical proof that the church has to sanctify a marriage, please tell me. I would like to see that in writing for myself. My one case and point, the wedding in Canaan that Jesus himself attended. Where does it say that the church santified that marriage?
---Lisa on 5/25/07

The Bible says that if a believer is married to a nonbeliever who wants to stay, to let the partner stay. But if the partner wishes to leave, let the partner leave and that you are not in bondage to the marriatial covenant at that point. I have read nothing in the Bible that says thay any church must Sanctify/legitimize a marriage. That is another teaching of man to which the Catholic Church unfortunately has MANY. Please study their doctrines vs the Bible teachings of Jesus Christ. Blessings
---jody on 5/25/07

If you've been married at least a year it will be easy enough for you to get your marriage blessed by the church, then you won't have to worry about that. Check with a local priest to see if you can do that.

---grace3869 on 5/25/07

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Do you really think God would reject the marriage of those who have no church or priest or pastor for 500 miles, if their hearts intend to honor Him?

Men too often try to usurp God's authority is in an attempt to establish their own.
---aservant on 5/25/07

No where do I read that a couple has to get married in a church. I got married in my mom's house. I agree that an ordained Preacher should marry a couple. And the marriage needs to be legal by your state. Use to a couple had to have blood work, and sign all your p's and q's before getting married. Now, it blood work isn't required. If you and your spouse are born again, your not living in sin as a married couple.
---Rebecca_D on 5/24/07

No, it is not written anywhere in the Bible that a wedding has to be legitimized in a church or by any official of a church. Any church that has regulations like that is stepping out of bounds and is making unscriptural demands. Unless you find a new church you also won't qualify for several other priveleges. You are probably in for a few more surprises.
---john on 5/24/07

If two women have a marriage license from whatever government they answer to, are they married in the eyes of God? Law of the Land you know.
---ralph7477 on 5/24/07

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The verse about the Publican isn't speaking of marriage,it is about a brother who has trespassed against another,it must be kept in context. Matt.18: 15-17 proves this. Any legal marriage is recognized by God,the Bible says obey the laws of the land and they allow for nonchurch weddings,so does God. It is the intent of the heart. That rule ,of a Church to be married there, is just one more manmade doctrine.
---Darlene_1 on 5/24/07

No, there is nothing that says that a marriage needs to occur in church. Maybe you should think about finding a church which teaches truth, instead of so much tradition.
---Susie on 5/24/07

And what's stopping you from regularizing your marriage according to Church standards?

It IS written in the Bible, "If any one will not HEAR THE CHURCH, let him be to you as a heathen an publican."
---Jack on 5/24/07

If you have a legal marriage license, from whatever government you answer to, you are married in the eyes of God. It does not say anything in scripture about marrying in a church.
---Madison1101 on 5/24/07

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