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Husband Makes Ungodly Decisions

I am finding it hard to follow my husband as at times he does not make Godly decisions. I know I am supposed to submit to him, but how can I when he is not making good choices?

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 ---Karen on 5/29/07
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Talk to Cynthia 1, she's knowledgeable about this subject.

Is he spending all of the money, or is it something smaller?
---BR549 on 4/1/08

jACK - ("angry depressed women in sensible shoes") -- LOL! You just gave me a huge laugh for the day. Bless you.
---Helen_5378 on 7/5/07

"angry, depressed women in sensible shoes"??? If I lived in a communist country, or anywhere I wasn't respected because I was female, I'd be "angry and depressed"--and HOPEFULLY wearing "sensible shoes" as they are comfy lol! :D
---Mary on 7/4/07

** "The term is derived from the undocumented Nicolas Chauvin, whose legend made him out to be a soldier under Napoleon."Wikipedia

Jack....Was Napoleon a communist????**

"Chauvinism" in the sense of rampant nationalism, is attributed to this Nicolas Chauvin.

"Male chauvinism," however, is a buzz word that originated in Communist cells by angry depressed women in sensible shoes.
---Jack on 7/3/07

Part 2:

I might as well mention here that according to the church historian Philip Schaff, John Calvin's real name was Jean Chauvin.
---Jack on 7/3/07

"The term is derived from the undocumented Nicolas Chauvin, whose legend made him out to be a soldier under Napoleon."Wikipedia

Jack....Was Napoleon a communist????
---Susie on 7/2/07

Karen:: whether Chauvenistic was born in a communist cell or the gutter is not the point.This man is controlling & thats a no no your dress is your own as is your hair colour.To submit MUST be in the EYES of God.His threatening attitude, is not conducive to a healthy relationship.This man needs to growup& be a provider & protector.I wish you well His desire to council others is questionable.
---Emcee on 7/2/07

Whoa! Jack, are you serious? The term actually originated from communist cells? Whoa; had no idea! I mean, my opinion hasn't changed--I still despise chauvenism--but please tell me more about the history of it--got me curious. Thanks.
---Mary on 7/1/07

**Yours just sound chauvenistic--to me, anyway. Just my 2 cents or less lol**

Mary, did you know that the expression "male chauvinism" originated in communist cells?

But if you want to use communist buzz words, I won't stop you.
---Jack on 6/28/07

Karen: To God and yourself be true. Always. Never change to please anyone. If you do not understand this principle now, you will remain a victim, all of your life. A man or no one, for that matter, is worth this kind of torment. You must stand up for yourself now. Demand he respect you.
---Robyn on 6/11/07

Karen: This is so sad. The things we do to try and hold onto a man. This man is clearly not saved. I can read this from your post. If I am wrong please forgive me for this. But I do not believe a true man of God would subject his wife to these horrid things he's asking of you. He should love you for who you are and what you are. Tell him so. He is putting you through the wringer unfairly and you are allowing this rat to do it to you. Stand up for yourself. He is definitely no gentleman or man of God.
---Robyn on 6/10/07

Karen: Your first obligation is to Christ. Do you feel this is pleasing to God what you are doing? This man is talking down to you. This is not right. Asking you to give up your human rights. This is very wrong.Your dignity, everything honey. If he has left home, it may be for the best. He is no prize. Not by a longshot.He's killing you, slowly but surely. Now maybe you can rest and relax. Let Jesus bring peace and comfort to your soul.
---Robyn on 6/10/07

Karen, "I know I am supposed to submit to him". Not a good beginning. This is a better beginning. Eph 5:21
"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."
Isn't it funny they never point out verse 21, too often.
The subordination(wives submit) is a contract with love. Eph 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;"
---jhonny on 6/10/07

Karen go ahead and change your hair color if it pleases him, your clothes too but be careful that your not feeding, an obsession you can very easily loose who you are and the liberty that God has given you as an individual who should be loved and treated well too. If he is going to make a few changes for you then I guess thats fine. I don't detect that thou, so I guess you need to be cautious and watch out for the manifestation of other things that are ungodly prayer .
---Carla5754 on 6/9/07

Counseling is out of the question. He won't even consider it. He considers psychologists and psychiatrists to be of the Devil and psych meds to be a way that demons can come into a person.
---Karen on 6/9/07

Karen, Im sure you know this, as women, our security must first PLANTED in Christ. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ would A SERVANT HEART: is he reflecting the CHARACTER of Christ? Your comments point to a VERY VERY controlling insecure man HE needs SERIOUS counselling -- to BUY things that BLOW OUT your budget is off the wall, point blank. It lacks stewarding - its placing undue unnecessary pressure on your marriage. SEEK A NON LEGALISTIC SOUND COUNSELLOR THAT LOVES CHRIST, BOTH OF YOU.
---Prodigal24 on 6/9/07

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As for 'areas of intimacy'; this is delicate, here is my counsel for you ..A woman's body is her own, the temple of the Holy Spirit, and there is a scripture that quotes 'God will destroy anyone who trys to destroy (pervert, lust over) HIS TEMPLE in you. WHERE THERE IS NO PEACE, THERE IS NOOOOOOOO CHRIST.
---Prodigal24 on 6/9/07

Karen: Are you serious about changing your haircolor and so forth for your spouse? This is very interesting but you also says he talks to you badly. Why is this? Perhaps you need to show more backbone before submitting everything to him. Honey we do not have to do anything that is not in line with the Word of God. We are to obey God, rather than man.
---Robyn on 6/8/07

Thanks for helping me. I still pray that my husband will talk nicer to me. He wanted my hair a different color, so I changed it to make him happy. He doesn't like the clothes I wear, so I wear what he wants. I don't like wearing tight or skimpy clothes. But, if that makes him happy, I do it. Thanks for your suggestions.
---Karen on 6/8/07

Hi Jack; well, I re-read all the posts here, both yours and Karen's--and Karen's are the ones that make the most sense to me, honestly. :) Yours just sound chauvenistic--to me, anyway. Just my 2 cents or less lol
---Mary on 6/8/07

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At one time or another we want to be able to depend on our spouce for all even choices that they make. The bottom line is that maybe God wants you to depend souly on him especialy when your spouce makes bad choices. Stay in prayer for your husband and keep praying that God will help him to make better choices. Some times our bad choices will help build a closer relationship with our Lord. It's hard some times. Keep praying.
---deb on 6/8/07

** Jack!! No need to attack Karen like that!**

I call them as I see them. Read Karen's own postings.
---Jack on 6/7/07

Jack!! No need to attack Karen like that!
---Mary on 6/6/07

Karen sounds to me more like a man-hater who resents her husband for not doing what SHE says.
---Jack on 6/5/07

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**Jack, how do you and your wife decide finances?**

I'm not married.
---Jack on 6/3/07

You need to address it quickly.

1- Do not aim to win arguements. You are one, hence, you either both win or loose. Instead commit things to the Lord together maintaining love and respects.

2- Do not consider him wrong and develop hate even if he makes wrong choices lest he may get stubborn and let things happen the way they like

3- Next to God trust and depend on your husband's judgments unless he is blutantly out of course. If so, even if you ask the egg of Crocodile he will get u:)
---Ephre3798 on 6/3/07

Hi Karen; I am sooo sorry. Your husband sounds not only ungodly but abusive! I was married to a man who told my mother "each fight, I love her LESS and LESS." Didn't matter who was right or wrong. I digress though; if you're being abused, get help honey.
---Mary on 6/2/07

You do not have to follow this man's lead if he is making unsound decisions. This is not godly. We are to submit to his godly lead....only! Ungodly men do not make godly decisions. They just don't go together. Oh he may make a few good decisions but never godly decisions. Oh what traps we set for ourselves.
---Robyn on 6/2/07

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When I disagree with his decisions he threatens me. He once told me that the scripture "til death doth us part" wasn't just talking about physical death. It also means if the love dies between two people. He says that is justification for a divorce.
---Karen on 6/1/07

Mary, I have thought of that. There is a long history of mental illness in his family. Jack, how do you and your wife decide finances? Do you make all the decisions or do you consult with her first?
---Karen on 6/1/07

The expression "ungodly decision" implies major sin and rebellion against God.

Whatever your husband has done or is doing now, nothing you have described seems to come under this classification.

You've merely confirmed my initial reaction: that you just don't like what your husband does.
---Jack on 6/1/07

Karen, if your husband doesn't make Godly decisions, does this mean that his decision to marry you was a Godly or ungodly decision?

How about your decision to marry him: Godly or un-?

Think about it.
---Jack on 6/1/07

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**When he wants to walk away from ministries that the Lord always has him doing so that he can do what he has always wanted to do-start a church, would you think that is ungodly decision?**

Who are you to say the Lord is NOT calling Him to start a church?

Most of what you are saying seems to be nothing but expressions of your own resentment about being forced out of your own comfort zone.
---Jack on 6/1/07

Hi Karen; I feel almost silly for suggesting this, as I am no psychiatrist--but has your husband ever been tested for bi-polar disorder? Just wondering.
---Mary on 5/31/07

**When a man buys a new vehicle and cannot afford to license it for six months, wouldn't you say that is an ungodly decision? **

Ill-advised and thoughtless, but hardly ungodly.
---Jack on 5/31/07

Jack....When a man buys a new vehicle and cannot afford to license it for six months, wouldn't you say that is an ungodly decision? When the car payment is higher than tithes, isn't that ungodly? When he is never satisfied with what God has given him, isn't that ungodly? When he wants to walk away from ministries that the Lord always has him doing so that he can do what he has always wanted to do-start a church, would you think that is ungodly decision?
---Karen on 5/31/07

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Jack...I'm sorry. I didn't see you ask that question the other two times. I am new to this and I'm not sure how it works. How do I actually talk to a person on this site?
---Karen on 5/31/07

Karen...We pray about every decision in our home also. Many times the Lord has stopped something that we thought we should do before we did it. We believe in praying that the Lord will open doors and close doors according to His will. Works everytime. Hope this helps.
---Susie on 5/31/07

For the THIRD time:

Karen, why do you say your husband's decisions are ungodly? Because they don't agree with yours?
---Jack on 5/31/07

Can he afford the larger payments? Are you saying he will neglect the other bills to buy this vehicle? You need to give us more details. As far as the personal/intimate areas he wants to explore that you don't want to, my advice to you is tell him that and give him your reasons why. If he doesn't accept them, tell him you will pray about it and ask God what He thinks. Don't do anything against your will. My ex made me do appaling intimate things, and God removed him. Hope that helps a little.
---donna5634 on 5/31/07

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Hi Karen; yikes--a brand new car every year?!!! You have my sympathies dear. And my prayers for your husband to develop some wisdom. And I can painfully relate to a husband wanting to do things that I'm not comfortable with; it is no pleasure when it's not a mutual thing. :(
---Mary on 5/31/07

Karen; When my husband wants something, I tell him, let me pray about it before we make anything. And this is how I pray. Lord, you know that we are looking into buying another vehicle. If we can afford to make the payments and keep the vehicle, then let everything work out. If something happens that we're not able to keep the vehicle, or striving to make the payments, then don't let it go through. this prayer works, and don't go against God's word.
---Rebecca_D on 5/30/07

I'm talking about wanting to buy a brand new vehicle every year with larger payments for one instance. There are personal (intimate) areas that he wants to explore which I don't like to do.
---Karen on 5/30/07

Why did you marry him? If he is making ungodly decisions now he was making ungodly dicisions all along. Fast and pray for him.
---JEB on 5/30/07

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Karen, can you give us a bit more information? All your saying here is he does not make Godly decisions. Does that mean he doesn't want to go to church or does it mean he's cheating or abusing you or your children. Is he lying to you and doing something contrary to the truth, what is it? We can't help you with just a very general statement like "I know I am supposed to submit to him, but how can I when he is not making good choices? What good choices isn't he making?
---donna on 5/30/07

You are doing the right thing. The government makes a lot of bad decisions too and we are still to submit to them. You don't have to agree with his decisions nor sin because of them. Submission means that you respect his authority regardless of his being right or wrong.
---john on 5/30/07

How do I talk to someone in here?
---Karen on 5/29/07

Don't submit if he asks you to do things not Godly, but forgive him for we all are human & made of flesh. I submit to my DH if he treats me with repsect & does it in a Godly manner, if he shows me no respect & does things ungodly I play stubborn ;-)
---Candice on 5/29/07

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