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Pastor's Wife Title

Does anyone have a more identifying name other then "pastor's wife"? I'm looking for a better title of me.

Moderator - Mayra.

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 ---mayra_elizondo on 5/31/07
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How about Mayra. That is your name and I am sure that represents you well.
---Greta on 3/1/09

the bible call them elect lady because they were choosen
---cleveland on 12/19/08

Maybe we could be a little less self important. God = Abba = Daddy. My mom a preacher's wife was often referred to as Mrs.(formal) her name (informal) or just mom the one she liked best. She had a habit of spiritually adopting a lot of people, they called her mom.
---dan on 5/17/08

Lady....whatever your last name or first name is. On the east coast at many churches the pastor's wife is addressed as Lady or "First Lady" in lieu of "lady of the house"
---LadyV on 5/15/08

Beth, don't be ugly. seems like you think you have it all figured out. The church has been debating this 2000 years. Try some respect, you need to get your point across try persuasion. This person asked what would be a good description of her position in the church. A label that reflects the responsibility the position required. I'm so sorry this got so far off track, I encourage you to focus on your job skills. If your job was administrative you, could be a church administrator and wife of the pastor.
---Andrea on 7/27/07

PASTORS WIFE is a very fitting name so why do you want to glorify yourself with such names as Lady this n that or First lady? Glorify God instead of yourself lady, and concentrate on your job..
---law on 7/27/07

Dear Pastor's Wife, another title for you, according to other First Ladies are: First Lady, Lady, or Elect Lady. My favorite titles that I love to use as a First Lady are - Saved, God-fearing, Prayer Warrior, Follower of Christ, Servant, Crucifier of Flesh, Ponderer of Thoughts, Consecrator, and Meditator. Be Blessed! Lady Bea Morgan
---Lady_Bea_Morgan on 7/16/07

In describing the gifts you will bring to a prospective employer, focus on the "job skills" you've practiced as pastor's wife. 1. Coordinated and supervised numerous adults/children (Sunday School, VBS,etc.)
2. Administrated telephone calls and scheduling (church calendar)
3. Functioned as team member establishing goals and meeting them (committees), etc. As a pastor's wife myself, I know that you have many skills that simply need to be defined as such. God bless you.
---Angie on 7/9/07

Pastor's Wife should and is a very honorable title. It tells everyone that you are doing GOD's work by being a soulmate and helpmate to your husband. Don't try to change what GOD has made you! Rejoice & be happy HE gave you such a cherished and honored position!
---Heather on 7/3/07

Dear Mayra, your question is an interesting one; however you have the answer. Your title is "Pastor's Wife" or "Wife of the Pastor." I have heard of other titles being used such as "The First Lady" but the honor of "The Pastor's Wife" supercedes all.
---Chuck on 7/3/07

God recommends if you haven't got a bible you can Google on line bible and seach the scriptures on women teaching. The word cannot lie!
---Carla5754 on 6/17/07

Frank: Your point is excellent. Why should she even need to mention her husband in her resume or applications for employment? She should list her qualifications for the work for which she is applying.
---Madison1101 on 6/14/07

Why would you even have to mention it? Pastor's wives I know only use their name with no title.
---Frank on 6/14/07

This dear sister only wanted to know what "title" she could put on her resume while she is looking for work after many years of serving her family. She wasn't asking for a title to be used at church. I just hope she lets us know how her job search turns out.
---Susie on 6/13/07

How about what the Scripture says.

Where does this desire come from to disobey the Word? Eve had the same desire.
Following your own formula for success may make you feel important. Women latch onto authority in the Church, because it makes them feel important.
Give me Scripture in the NT that says women are to be the head of men.
---Beth on 6/13/07

Jesus is the Head of the Church.

The earthly church is a type and picture of what Jesus has said the Church will be.
If you can't follow what Jesus says about the Church, obedience is better than sacrifice; and you have set your will above God's will, what does that say about the condition of your heart?
---Beth on 6/13/07

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God never intended for Eve to be the head.
God's government has not changed, so why are you changing it.
I've read all the comments here from those who are claiming leadership over men. Honestly, you haven't said anything that dynamic or outstanding, that I could not live without. Your interpretations of the Word are your own, and it shows.
For the sake of congeniality, we all pacify and get along. Smooth sailing. I'll pat your back, if you pat mine, ladies.
---Beth on 6/13/07

Mayra, here, needs a title to feel important.
Co-pastor, leadership - co-equal.
Jesus is the Head, and we are certainly not co-equal with Jesus Christ. That is reserved for the Father and the Holy Spirit.
We are children of God. The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God. A child of God obeys.
---Beth on 6/13/07

We are to be servants of the Most High God.
Women who want to dominate and lead, struggle with surrendering to Him. By surrendering to God, you go way beyond the limits of your self-esteem to a seal of approval from your heavenly Father. No one else's approval will ever matter.

If you seek the approval of men/women or need to feel superior over men/women, you are in disobedience.
---Beth on 6/13/07

What's Eve to do with our gifts for the New Testament days?

Eve was under the Law, we are under the grace of Christ, He fulfilled the Law and the Prophets that prophesided Him coming; a serious study on the Greek and Hebrew I recommend for you; stop believing what 'man' has taught you from the Pulpit; His daughter's are called upon to prophesy: to Speak! I am not self appointed, I am Christ annointed, big difference, get your head our of man's head.
---Prodigal24 on 6/13/07

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I recommend you Google 'Who said Woman Can't Teach/Preach' etc - the Lord will show you - I cannot believe that women in this day are more focused on what other's think they 'should and shouldnt be' rather than being led by Christ: and you dont need man's permission to do that, single or married.
---Prodigal24 on 6/13/07

From a logic point of view. God will not allow no woman or man of God to preach unless He calls them into it. Instead of fussing at the ones that are most favored by God and are called into the ministry, Stop fussing at us and I dare you to fuss at God about it. Go ahead ask God. Say, "God, why you are putting women behind the pulpit"? Also, before you get into alot of trouble, You must not put God in a box and also we have two obedience, The word of God and God DIRECTLY. Have fun.
---catherine on 6/13/07

I know God put men in leadership, but He often uses women in more ways than some men are willing to admit! He once led me to lead a stranger and my husband in prayer outside a McDonalds--that was DEFINITELY God, 'cause I am not like that normally. But I was probably more blessed than the man we ministered to. God used me for His purposes that night, whatever they were. It is helpful to know that God values even me.
---Mary on 6/13/07

How about whatever you feel the most comfortable with.
---catherine on 6/12/07

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Prodigal24, take it up with Eve when you see her. I didn't write the bible, and I've heard all of that argument before.
Maybe it's you, that have decided to preach and teach to men, without following the Scripture, which clearly says what it says.
---Beth on 6/12/07

Oh? Beth, does your bible omit Deborah? Phoebe? Priscilla? Phillip's daughters?

I suggest you research Paul's 'cultural' words (in Hebrew/Greek). Paul was addressing women in a time where paganism/Diana worship was rampant; it shows your lack of understanding of the Word; albeit your 'submission' teachings from a pulpit where men have 'convinced' women are not to teach or preach.

I am a Preacher and I have Christ's approval, I fear Him, not man.
---Prodigal24 on 6/12/07

Men are appointed to pastor. The bible makes this clear.
1 Corinthians 14:34
'"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law"

1 Timothy 2:11-12:
"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence"
---Beth on 6/12/07

2 Tim 3:16 All Scripture is God breathed . . .

1 Cor 11:3 . . . the head of the woman is the man

7 . . . the woman is the glory of the man.
8 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.
9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
10 For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head

God wants WOMEN TO BE SUBORDINATE to men's authority. Any confusion comes from man & woman.
---Beth on 6/12/07

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1 Tim 2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

God does not govern His world to be popular with His servants. He does all things for His glory (Is 43:7), including his commands for women.

usurp = to seize and hold the power or rights of another without legal authority.
---Beth on 6/12/07

This command was to men. It shows who God intended to be in authority.

1 Cor 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
35 . . . for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

This is about authority. Women can pray, sing, read Scripture. Women openly dishonor Him, when they refuse subjection & insist on leading.
---Beth on 6/12/07

Women are not called to preach, Prodigal24.
The Scripture says it's not so.
Do you preach and prophesy over congregations, Prodigal24?
Did you appoint yourself to preach and prophesy over congregations?
---Beth on 6/12/07

1 Titus 2:11
Let the woman learn in [[[silence]]] will all subjection.

12 But I suffer not a woman to [[[teach]]],nor to usurp authority over the man but to be silent.

13 For Adam was [[[first]]] formed then Eve,

14 Adam was [[[not deceived]]] but [[[the woman being deceived]]] was in the [[[transgression]]].

THE WORD VS opinion.
---Carla5754 on 6/12/07

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'We are not Lord's over your faith'...Paul said, 'We are helpers of your joy' build you up. That is a true authority of a true Pastor; one that does not LORD IT OVER OTHERS. Do we KNOW these people? Christ does! '10 Lies The Church Tell Women' Charles Trombley, buy the book, it will bless every women and finally settle the Lies the Church Tell!
---Prodigal24 on 6/8/07

Ladies, you are called of Christ to Preach, Teach etc, what ever your gifts are, unto the Lord -- this rubbish that women can't teach or preach or evangelise is a stench to Christ, it is a lie from the pits of hell! True Christians are known by their FRUIT, these are strong words, Hear Christ's heart in me, my strong warning to those who claim to be His, be Christlike!
---Prodigal24 on 6/8/07

I recommend Ray Steadman's website for learning, for correcting, for good solid biblical Christlike preaching, where there is NO LEGALISM, and yes, this great man of Christ agrees on women's roles in the church -- we are all MINISTERS OF CHRIST - WE BOAST NOT OF OURSELVES.
---Prodigal24 on 6/8/07

Hi Mike; you said that if a woman is co-pastoring with her husband, she is "usurping his authority"; so tell me then, how do you explain Priscilla and Aquillas (not sure I spelled his name right)? She was his partner.
---Mary on 6/8/07

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mayra....Let us know how the job search comes. God bless!!!
---Susie on 6/8/07

Robyn, this type of help would cost $1000's, oh brother.
This type of help would cost 25 cents from Lucy in Charlie Brown's world. Don't get too carried away with yourself.
---C.Brown on 6/8/07

Why not be happy with just yourself? God created you beautifully as you are. Our Pastor's wife didnt want any special names..She prefered everyone to call her by her name and we do..She is just one of us..sisters in the Lord.. she has no airs about being a pastor's wife..she joins us in whatever we do just as all of us do..and she carry her position with love..allher kids are adults yet she is always found with little children
---jana on 6/8/07

Truly said that we should not judge. Moreover we should not tongue lash each other, or is that love with a "bite"? The word of God will judge us all. Anyone see a "co-pastor" in the Bible who was preaching & teaching? As a woman it would be taking authority over men. Let the Word instruct us in what is proper. Love is proper but love is not always syrupy sweet...
---mikefl on 6/7/07

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If someone is in error, as she is, we are obligated to tell her in love where she is at fault. If that is judging, which it is not, then we are in error. Judging is when we are basically putting someone down without knowing facts. She is clearly confused and needs to know the truth of the matter. Judging is not wrong in itself. If it were we would not need judges and advisors, counselors. She is blessed to have this blog. This type help would cost thousand of dollars if she sought outside counselling.
---Robyn on 6/7/07

It's not the title that counts but, how you lead your life first and formost as a Godly Woman. Titles are just that. Anyone can have one but, what is most important is what you want God to call you. Also a pastors wife is called a helpmate which holds a larger title and consists of a bigger job than that of a pastors wife.
---Deb on 6/7/07

Prodigal24: "Mayra is God's business, DO NOT JUDGE HER!"

It's now everyone's business since she is asking for advice publicly.

As for judging, please study what the Bible says about judging. If you believe you are right, then you are judging the judgors.
---Steveng on 6/6/07

I stick with my original posts and what I have said. But if you just need a title, why not Sis Mayra. Which you are. Seems as if you want to compete with your husband. This is not good. We all are sisters and brothers in Christ. That's really all we need. I know pastors who simply want to be called Bro so and so. Or servant. This shows great humility. He knew who he was in Christ. This sums it up. Titles really swell peoples heads and cause them to stumble, sometimes. Pride/ego.
---Robyn on 6/6/07

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Heres my point -- any Pastor male or female, that is called by God to serve in that position, married couple in this instance, they would have BOTH prayed and sought God's leading BEFORE they stepped into it -- BOTH, not one, BOTH; for those here are saying 'deceptive' heres my reply:
legalism has turned many away from God, Mayra is God's business, DO NOT JUDGE HER!
---Prodigal24 on 6/6/07

Be content with what you have, with who you are - not the title you own. Titles will not get you into heaven. God does not look at your title, but what is in your heart.

The Israelites want their own king, God allowed it. So if you must have a title what about...

"God's Servant"
---Steveng on 6/5/07

Hi Leona; I see your point there. :) I just felt like a lot of people were really beating up on the poor lady. I wouldn't want to be a minister's wife, I know that! I admire a woman who can take it! :D
---Mary on 6/5/07

Leona: Thanks for telling it like it is. When a Christian posts on here that they are going to lie and say they are something they are not, especially in the context of ministry, I am going to call them on it. A co-pastor is someone who does pastoral work, and is on staff in a church. Unless the pastor's wife is on staff and is part of the ministry team, she should not say she is co-pastor. That is deceptive.
---Madison1101 on 6/5/07

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Leona2: I do know of churches where the husband and wife co-pastor, but then she is not considered the pastor's wife, but a pastor of the church herself. From Mayra's description, it sounds like she wants the title but has not earned it.
---Madison1101 on 6/5/07

Mary, Christianity isn't always about being sweet, without conviction. We need to tell the truth in love.
Mayra is not a pastor, as far as we can tell. She wants the title without the education/holding the office. Like sticking a shingle out that you can perform plastic surgery and you end up with a face like a catfish, and lips that look like oscar mayer weiners. You either are or you aren't.
Being the wife of a certified plastic surgeon doesn't make you one, too.
---Leona on 6/5/07

Matt 23 1:39
A great example of position seeking men, no women there fighting over titles! I love the word.
---Carla5754 on 6/5/07

Hi Prodigal24 :) I love what you said--you're right--people have been beating up on the poor lady! God bless you brother--or sister, whichever you are lol! :D
---Mary on 6/5/07

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Mayra, if you were my pastor's wife, I would consider you a co-equal Pastor, for the rest of you here with 'your opinions or expectations of others' be careful, work out your own salvation in fear and trembling I recall it saying. Pastor's wives are VERY sacrificial in releasing their husbands the many demands in his pastoral care duties -- for those who 'know it all' -- Im sure this pastoral team prayed before they became shepherds, and when you shepherd in a team, both are PASTORS!
---Prodigal24 on 6/5/07

Mayra, how about concentrating on your own skills and experience and be less concerned with titles. You are not a pastor or co-pastor, and unless your husband hired or appointed you to an official ministry, you do not have a title other than Mrs.

But that does not mean that you have not contributed to your husband's ministry, and if you have raised a family, then you have many other skills as well. Find a way to describe your various skills in terms of the tasks you performed.
---lorra8574 on 6/4/07

Guys, come on - Mayra is God's business not ours. For us that are true disciples, we are not to speak anything but love to our sisters in Christ - we are to plant seeds of encouragement, leaving all convictions, if there be any, to the Holy Spirit. The Lord certainly does place a dual annointing upon any team in ministry; He loves his daughters that support His sons ministry...A Pastors wife, is a Pastor no less that her husband, the annointing may differ, the call is equally unto the Lord.
---Prodigal24 on 6/4/07

Mayra: How can you call yourself a co-pastor when you were not hired, nor called to pastor anything. The title co-pastor assumes you pastor, and you certainly do not. I find it deceitful of you to use that title. It gives the impression that you pastor the church equally with your husband.
---Madison1101 on 6/2/07

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Mayra: I'm disappointed with your decision. You do know, if you use the title "co-pastor" you'll be lying? Don't do it!

If you must have a title other than pastor's wife, how about Senior Pastoral Assistant or Pastoral Care Provider or Executive Pastoral Aide or Chairperson of the Proverbs 31:10 Christian Women's Ministry? However, you may (at some point) have to explain your duties. :)

Have you discussed the matter with your husband? Pray about it. God bless....
---Leon on 6/3/07

Mayra....Believe me when I say that potential employers do not care what kind of title you put before your name. They are interested in your qualifications for the job for which you are applying. That is what is important on your resume. You should not put any kind of title before your name. There are sample resumes that you can find online that will help you. God bless you in this search for employment.
---Susie on 6/2/07

As I said in my earlier post. These titles really sickens me. Too much pride attached to them. These do not make you any better, most certainly not any godly. These type people who are placed over God's people should be servants of God and not concerned about any title. You should know who you are in Christ.If not-you really don't need this type position.
---Robyn on 6/2/07

Mayra, I'm glad you found a description/title that will work well on your resume.

Now that that's settled, could someone please tell me what is wrong with using First Lady? If I'm in error, I want to know. Also, I don't want to offend any pastor's wives in the future. In some congregations, it's okay, but if it's not okay with others, I need to know. Thanks!
---AlwaysOn on 6/2/07

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Vice President
Little General
Prime Minister

Are you a minister, pastor, or the pastor's wife. If you're not a pastor, co-pastor is not accurate.
I have no idea what job you're going for, but you don't need a title. Your qualifications/work experience will speak for themselves
---BeeKeeper on 6/2/07

Psalms says of Abraham "I called him alone." David was anointed and not his wives. Imagine the confusion if all his wives were the "reverend" or "first lady" of the kingdom, or church. All of the men of God had wives that did not share in their calling except for the position of being a help meet for him. If a woman is called of God it should be her calling and not basking in the glory of her husband's. Even Sarah showed humility.
---Frank on 6/2/07

One pastor I spoke with labelled his wife as a "lousy cook".
---Caring on 6/2/07

My pastor's wife is called Amie, or Mrs. Shumskie by the congregation. She is called Mom by her kids. There is no need for a special title. She is not called to the ministry, her husband was called, and he is Reverand, or Pastor.
---Madison1101 on 6/1/07

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Thank you ladies for all your quick responds, I really appreciate it. I'm very blessed and humbled of who God has anointed me to be and in that I am very proud to be the wife of a wonderful caring pastor. I wanted a name to put in my resume..I'm starting work again after 16 years and I was just looking for something else to put down on paper that would describe me in ministry. I liked "Co Pastor". I guess Ill put that down thank you all. God bless.
---mayra on 6/2/07

Surely not first lady.
---cheryle on 6/1/07

Why do you feel its needed to go by another name, except for maybe 'sister Mayra?'
We call our pastor's wife 'Donna', her name, or those that don't know her well call her Mrs. Blair.
---NVBarbara on 6/1/07

Hi Mima, I always call pastor's wives First Lady. I know it isn't in scripture, but I've never thought of it being demeaning. Why do you think it is?
---AlwaysOn on 6/1/07

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"...You are in effect also co-pastoring that church...Madame Co-Pastor..."

That's not true Rooney! Mayra's husband is called (anointed & appointed by God) to pastor (shepherd) the church. Mayra's ministry to the church is, i.e., 1 Tim 5:2 & Titus 2:3-5.

Please note, Mayra didn't claim a calling to pastor. She seems to be honestly trying to find her place in church ministry. She's not trying to usurp her husband's Bible delegated authority as you recommend.
---Leon on 6/1/07

To refer to the pastor's wife as, First Lady, co-pastor, or Reverend is completely anti-scriptural and very demeaning to the faith.
---Mima on 6/1/07

Mayra, I can appreciate the concern behind your question. You are not just the pastor's wife. The fact that you are the wife of a pastor, you are in effect also co-pastoring that church, whether people realize it or not. Since the goal of a wife is to complement that of her spouse, if it is not directly subject to it, feel free to be called Madame pastor or Madame Co-Pastor.
---Rooney on 6/1/07

I can appreciate the possibility that Mayra is seeking an honest way to present herself to the church. But upon closer analysis, a person who knows who exactly she is doesnt really need titles or indeed other people to validate her sense of worth and identity. Just remain Mayra.
---Meir on 6/1/07

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In our SDA church, a pator's wife is the same as everyone else, we all work.. there is no special airs about them, we all are special in God's sight, and after all, Jesus said dont take the high throne but the lowliest..those who uplift themselves will be seen as low and those who humble themselves, will be uplifted..
---jana on 6/1/07


How about servant! face it, you are a pastors wife. now deal with it. My wifes biggest worry is this (her words) 'OK,I know it is your job to teach and preach,pray and seek GOD, I accept that but it is my job as your wife (THE PASTORS WIFE) to keep you from killing youself in the process."
---Willow on 5/31/07

In the largest Penticostal chuch in our city the Pastor's wife is called "Reverend Maureen".
---1st_cliff on 5/31/07

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