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Earring In Husband's Car

I recently found another womens earing in my husbands car. He says he does not know how it got there. We were separated about a year ago and he was seeing another women, but he swears no women has been in his car recently.
Not sure if I believe him. What do you think?

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 ---Genny on 6/8/07
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if he say's he does not know how it got there . take his word for it . remberfor give as christ has forgiven you and me . craig
---craig on 9/11/08


Genny on 6/8/07 wrote the OP

By now, 15 months later the matter is resolved, and she does not blog here in this thread.

Why continue?
---Observer on 9/2/08

I would not believe the man if my life depended upon it.>>>>I based this upon your question.
---catherine on 9/2/08

Were you down on your hands and knees combing through his vehicle looking for evidence? Searching through the glove box, trunk, under the seats, door pockets, etc.?
Searching through his wallet while he sleeps?
Any or all of those things are an indication that the trust is not really there in the first place.
If you don't trust him, it would be easy to take any and all evidence against him as a reason to destroy your marriage.
---Jenny on 9/2/08

Cleaning out my car, under the trash can was an earring. David had no idea how it got there. While cleaning the bathroom something got tangled in my fingers, long black hair. I have very short blond hair. A second earring was found. It angered me! It was also blamed on one of his friends. Told David if he wanted someone else, there's the door. I forgave him. Best thing of all was to see my insecurity disappear. Whoever was playing a nasty game that caused a lot of trouble. We won! With God's help.
---Nellah on 6/23/07

Let's just say he is lying. Don't you have to forgive him?

Since you can't prove differently, do you want to aggravate an already shakey marriage?

There is surely no reason to trust him because of having another woman when not divorced, but do you really want to add to the aggravation on flimsy evidence?

It seems you need to spend a lot of time with God, for you own sake, for the sake of your marriage.
---a_servant on 6/22/07

The problem with separation is that it gives the wayward spouse a window of opportunity. Of course, opportunity is always there, but being apart increases the opportunity to stray. That being said, often, couples need time apart - learn to trust yourself in this situation by saying "NO"! You clearly love your husband, or else you wouldn't care about the earring. Can you live in a marriage without trust? Pray for that trust to return and don't take up being a detective - it will get you nowhere.
---Sarah on 6/20/07

Nope, I do not agree.
It will not work if you're looking for clues like a detective. You either lay the marriage at the feet of Jesus and allow Him to bring reconciliation; or you might as well hang it up. A doubleminded woman/man will receive nothing from the Lord.
---Jenny on 6/15/07

If it were me I would take him at his word if you are trying to work out your marriage. Don't turn a blind eye to other clues though.
---maryj9396 on 6/15/07

One of the criteria my parents used to raise me was, "give the other person the benefit of the doubt." Unless you have solid evidence to prove otherwise, suggest you do the same, but, be alert to other abnormal activity, such as staying late at work, dresses up when it's not needed, uses after-shave when he doesn't normally or the occasion doesn't call for it, etc.
---WIVV on 6/12/07

Genny:what about the missing earing what happened to its mate.some guys wear a earing but feel bashful to discuss it.Jack,is it yours? Sorry just a thought.It could have been planted out of spite!!
---Emcee on 6/11/07

Genny, you didn't say if your husband was a Christian. If he continues to cheat, you have grounds for divorce.
If he's the type that refuses counseling, you want to stay in the marriage, prayer and fasting and Jesus Christ is your Hope. But you will have to let the Holy Spirit convict him of his sins. Interrogation/confrontations will bring you closer to a divorce court.
---Jenny on 6/11/07

Jesus can heal your heart and your marriage.
Throw yourself on the mercy of Christ. Tell Him all of your concerns about trust, everything in this marriage. Leave it with Jesus. Don't try to dig up clues on the trail. Allow Jesus to reveal to you what He wants you to see. Put all of your faith and trust in Jesus, and I believe you'll know what God wants from you in this marriage.
---Jenny on 6/11/07

Genny, Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted.
I dated a man that appeared to be the real deal. We went to church, read and prayed over the Bible, all the things a woman loves about a man. He was a 'beautiful' man, "Christian". Lipsticks started rolling out from underneath my seat when he would take me somewhere. My trust started eroding away. I began to look for evidence of a serial cheater. I am human. I started seeing any vision of marriage in my rearview mirror.
---Jenny on 6/11/07

I found out that I was the good girl date; and then he had his bad girl dates, after he dropped me off. I did all of the functions with his family (holidays, birthdays, church, etc.); and the other girls did slumber parties.
All promises of promise were foam on the waves. I moved on and he moved in a slumber party regular. I prayed for the man, that he would find his way back to Christ. I've moved far away, and that's long been in the rearview mirror.
---Jenny on 6/11/07

Jesus is the Great Physician.

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised.
---Jenny on 6/11/07

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He said unto them, Ye will surely say unto me this proverb, Physician, heal thyself: whatsoever we have heard done in Capernaum, do also here in thy country.
---Jenny on 6/11/07

38And he arose out of the synagogue, and entered into Simon's house. And Simon's wife's mother was taken with a great fever; and they besought him for her.

39And he stood over her, and rebuked the fever; and it left her: and immediately she arose and ministered unto them.

40Now when the sun was setting, all they that had any sick with divers diseases brought them unto him; and he laid his hands on every one of them, and healed them.
---Jenny on 6/11/07

Jesus' bedside manner is wonderful, His touch healed them all.

Read about it in Luke.
---Jenny on 6/11/07

Jack ::Are you a doctor with a bad bedside manner?Phew you sure know how to cure em of their ills.Could it be possible He just found the errant earing & was waiting to find its duplicate.Anyway The case of the errant earing gets deeper as the world turns.Jack This is all your fault.
---Emcee on 6/10/07

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Jack, your gift is not witnessing to women in dire straits. Your compassion is nill and your bedside manner is the pits.
---Jenny on 6/9/07

Leave it alone until (or if) you find solid evidence. The more you stir in poopy, the more it is going to stink. If he says he doesn't know anything about it, believe him as of right now. You can watch out for signs if he is cheated on you. coming home late, making excuses, being nervous about anything. Don't harp on him, because if he isn't cheating then he will be.
---Rebecca_D on 6/9/07

even if they were separated what in the world is wrong with people who say they are christians makes them think they can just throw their vows away?separation does not mean divorced,or free from your wedding vows as some here insinuate.
---tom2 on 6/9/07

**You need to read the fine print or inbetween the lines.**

Forget about reading between the lines. Read what I ACTUALLY SAID: "If."
---Jack on 6/9/07

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Don't get a guilt trip because you don't trust him. He broke that trust and has to earn it back. There are many ways to check up on him. Check the numbers he calls on the telephones. Check his computer or laptop. Those couple of items will almost always give you the information you need. You can install a keylogger program that will give you information on every place he visits and all his passwords to his accounts. If he's clean, he has nothing to worry about. May the Lord hold the both of you together.
---john on 6/9/07

Jack, they're not separated now. You need to read the fine print or inbetween the lines.
Women have tweeked their ears for hearing higher pitches than what a man can hear.
You're pretty grumpy towards the 'women blogs' right now, anyway.
---Jenny on 6/8/07

I am sorry I know how you must feel. My husband promised never to cheat again after being caught for what I thought was the first time. After 21 years he left April 15 and moved in with another women. I pray that your situation is different because it has been financially and emotionally draining on my family.
With Faith some men change and work on their marriages and I hope yours is one of them. If not there is lots of help and support available too!
God Bless You!
---Kimmi on 6/8/07

If you're separated, what's it to you?
---Jack on 6/8/07

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I think he is lying or may have forgotten transporting another woman. It could be a co-worker that he was giving a ride, or he could still be cheating on you.
---Madison1101 on 6/8/07

I don't think you have made enough information clear. Were you separated previously and back together or are you still separated?
---Phil_the_Elder on 6/8/07

Well how the heck did it get in there then? Did you ask him? What did he say? Do you have daughter's? Any other woman that you know of that go in the car?
---sue on 6/8/07

Genny, no man apart from the Spirit of God can tell you what to believe or think. All we can offer is what WE would think in that particular situation and what WE would think is usually dictated by our own similar experiences. I encourage you to get alone with the Lord and ask Him to remove thoughts that are not coming from Him and let the Holy Spirit answer your question with peace or the absence thereof.
---Linda on 6/8/07

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My teenage son used to threaten to run away all the time and would even go so far as to start down the road with his "stuff". Instead of trying to stop him or chasing him down, I would always go to the bedroom and ask Father the questions only He had the answer to because He knows my son better than I know him or better than he knows himself.
---Linda on 6/8/07

There was never one time that I wasn't given peace first and then direction...and there was never a time that my son didn't come home on his own. Simply allow the Spirit of God to form your thoughts and actions. Respond to Him instead of react to what you have found or feel. It is always best to go to Father first because He CAN be trusted even when no one else can. There are all kinds of possibilities for that earring being in your husband's car and it is never good to always assume the worst.
---Linda on 6/8/07

We have found lots of things in our vehicles that were not ours. Sometimes we have friends who have left something in the car and didn't even realize it. Sometimes the items belonged to the former owner. The earrings could belong to any female relative or friend of your family. Trust your husband on this unless other "red flags" start to pop up. Don't use this one incident to convict him.
---Susie on 6/8/07

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