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I Want A Baby

I just started working and I am 31 years old and I want to have a baby. Is it a sin to have a baby without a husband. I really don't want a guy. I have enough support to have kids of my own. Your thoughts?

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 ---julie5398 on 7/10/07
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Adoption isn't a sin.

You can adopt babies without a man today.
---Nicole_Lacey on 3/21/16


You wrote: But, for a woman to seek to have children out of wedlock is categorically fornication & goes against God's will.

Not necessarily. One could always adopt. It's a noble think to take on the responsibility to raise a child nobody else wants.

Isaiah 54:1, also Galatians 4:7:
Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear, break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord.

How can a barren woman have children? By adopting!
---StrongAxe on 3/21/16

I feel exactly the same as you. Similarly, we read what Tamar did who is in the Bible and wanted children and who is an ancestor of Jesus. (Genesis 38 and Matthew 1:3) Wisdom is proven right through all her children. (Luke 7:35) Fact is that marriages don't work out (Matthew 19:10) and that it is better not to marry. (1 Corinthians 7:1,40) It is more commendable for unmarried women to want babies than for married women to not be open to children and to use birth control and to abort.
---mike4879 on 3/21/16

FYI: The Bible shows God's plan is for two parents to raise children. Under given circumstances God will enable single parents e.g., widows, etc., to raise children. But, for a woman to seek to have children out of wedlock is categorically fornication & goes against God's will.
---Leon on 1/13/15

Hello, LeahMary...your post! you sure drive home my sentiments exactly, you are "right on the money" as the saying go! it seems so, hurtfull to.the child n leave a bitter mess in the after enrages, the men and sadly, like alot of men , get enraged and may take it, out on a innocent what happened to me, I was wrong place a restaurent but a real look like exactly,like his ex-wife kidnapped beaten raped and left for dead. I believe this guy, would not have done this if not so hurt n enraged!!
It messed life, too!!
Thanks for your post. Love of Jesus!
---Elena_9555 on 1/13/15

The reality of liberal thinking and why America is leading the world in the destruction of marriage. Women who are so independent in thought and deed their arrogance clouds sound judgement on raising children. Then the flip side of this is all the women purposely having babies to selfishly tie men to them through child support payments using their children as a type of pawn. In other words you want to use a guy for his sperm or pay money for anonymous sperm? It is difficult to fully explain how self destructive this type of self absorption really is and the disadvantages you bring upon the child. Where is the love when you use a guy for purpose of creating a child yet leave the guy out of the picture for raising and knowing his own child?
---LeahMary71 on 12/20/14

Seven years after asking this the asker is not very likely to still be looking out for new answers.
---Rita_H on 11/5/14

\\There is a male in the Old Testament who put his sperm on the ground and God was angry with him.\\

The context is about coitus interruptus, because Onan was using Tamar for his own pleasure, knowing that any child conceived would be considered his dead brother's child.

It is not talking about masturbation or birth control, as such.

Original Poster: If you've only just started working at 31, you don't sound like you're ready to take care of a child. They are not pets you can put in a shelter later when you tire of them.

YOU might want a child with no husband, but doesn't the child DESERVE two parents?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/5/14

There is a male in the Old Testament who put his sperm on the ground and God was angry with him. So I believe it to be with artificial insemmination.
---helen4633 on 11/5/14

Tom - the equivalent of a woman using artificial insemination (presumably by donor) is for the man to use a surrogate mother using the his own sperm. In both cases the child ends up with one biological parent and one 'surrogate'.

I don't wish to give my view on either of these or say what I think God's view would be but I do know that there are very many children in care, from babies up to teenagers, who would love to be part of a loving family for the remainder of their lives. Adoption is another option for many people.

Just something for you to think about.
---Rita_H on 5/10/14

Tom - the equivalent of a woman using artificial insemination (presumably by donor) is for the man to use a surrogate mother using the his own sperm. In both cases the child ends up with one biological parent and one 'surrogate'.

I don't wish to give my view on either of these or say what I think God's view would be but I do know that there are very many children in care, from babies up to teenagers, who would love to be part of a loving family for the remainder of their lives. Adoption is another option for many people.

Just something for you to think about.
---Rita_H on 5/10/14

Through artificial insemination there is NO SIN! You can choose the father and dedicate the child to the Lord!
I want to be a careing Father, but my wife cant have children but I dont want to sin before the Lord! What do you think?
---tom on 5/8/14

Julie::Having a child is "No big Deal"Bringing up that child 'is' the problem. He needs Both Father and Nother.Example Holy Family of Nazareth Jesus Mary and Joseph or any good regulated family.
---Emcee on 4/11/08

I know a woman who had artificial insemination to have a baby at age 40. It is possible. It is not recommended for a lot of reasons, but it can be done.
---Madison1101 on 4/11/08

I've been a single mom for 8 years of two wonderful boys. I didn't become a single mom by choice, and I don't stay a single mom by choice. I wouldn't recommend this state by choice, it's harder than you may think to raise children alone--no matter what income level you have.

If God has really laid upon your heart a love for children, perhaps He's really asking you to volunter with a children's ministry.
---Tonya on 8/9/07

I suggest a husband is the best way to go.Only if it is nessesary for single parents to raise children then it's ok,but it isn't the way God wants it.He wants a father & mother to have a child & raise them.
As far as finances do you have insurance to see the OBYN?Do you have enough to buy baby dipers,formula, or what ever later? babies are not cheap.I have 3 of them & we live paycheck to paycheck.
---candice on 8/1/07

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Don't do it. This is not God's way and scripture makes that fact clearly. One man for one woman for life raising the children that HE gives. We all know that this is not an ideal world and things go wrong in marriages but don't start out on a wrong basis. There are enough pitfalls when you start out right without, deliberately, starting out wrong.
---RitaH on 7/29/07

The sheep belong to my Master, and are NOT to be treated as Satan would treat them, especially by someone professing Christianity.

She cannot justify what she did. We are to treat seekers as Jesus did, & not react to them based upon our experiences or fears.

Hopefully, this experience will influence her to react differently.
---a_servant on 7/17/07

A Servant picked a fight with parts of my post forgetting the full ouote *which is the start of a GOoD Life. Notice the capital GOD within Good.... It's cool I used to read what I wanted to read in other peoples response and spout off. Always going back and apologising when I did so thou! Big difference. Like I said no one's perfect but be honest and restore when possible! Funny people who dis- like me before knowing me end up my best friends, there you go I even love my enemies !
---Carla5754 on 7/17/07

a servant: I see that you are set on your position and that is Good. Carla has raised children and approached the quetion with motherly instinct. I don't think that her appoach to the quetion was wrong or that your approach was wrong.
---Marcia on 7/17/07

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a servant: As a educator I know that everyone can have a different approached to the same quetion based on their background experience. However the answers they come up are correct. Julie does not want us to tell her what do, she just wants to know our thoughts. You have a problem with Carla's approach to the quetion- that your problem, don't make it Julies problem.
---Marcia on 7/17/07

Adopt a child that is unwanted. Take something bad turn it to good, not the other way around. Why bring a child into your need when you can give to a child in need. What do you think Christ would want.
---Andrea on 7/17/07

Julie what you are contemplating is not fair to a child. It is a sad reality that many children are raised in single family homes, but this is not something that should be sought on purpose. Children should, ideally, have both a mother and a father.

If your clock is ticking try volunteering with babies and children, in hospitals, shelters, pregnancy crisis and Birthright centres. If you have money to share, donate to family centred organizations, here or abroad. God Bless.
---lorra8574 on 7/16/07

God's way is a father and a mother and a child or children, which make up a family. But mankinds selfish way is a sperm bank, or an absent parent, etc.
---Eloy on 7/17/07

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Speaking for myself, I love you as a sister in Christ. But I did dislike your heavy-handedness.

Most Christians know that God prefers children to come from marriage. If she doesn't know the answer, she is a baby in Christ. Christ wants her to come to Him, not be run away from Him with harsh condemnation & accusation - that is what Satan does.

She asked before acting. She needs to be taught, not criticized.
---a_servant on 7/16/07

I don't post to be be popular and to receive back up from the feminist crew, I speak as a God fearing woman that respects the TEMPLE of God that is within my members as a woman YOUR members, It a pity some on this net dislike me for it. I am not here to preserve self and elevate self but to give sound advice where I know to do better according to God's word. No one perfect, Correct, Children are for the Married with a Husband. 1Corin 7:14 (END OF)
---Carla5754 on 7/15/07

"Many widows have raised children to God without husbands."

I'm sure that if you asked these widows (and widowers also) if they would have rather raised their children with their spouse, they would have said, "Yes." This young, inexperienced woman is asking to have a baby without a husband. She has just started working and is making what she considers enough money to raise a baby. Give this idea six months and her mind will probably change.
---Susie on 7/14/07

Also: Peter Rebuked peter and boy was it harsh

He said- Satin get thee behind me.

However I understand in timonthy Paul did say to never rebuke an elder.
---Marcia on 7/14/07

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The woman was asking, not scorning. Rather than answer the question from a seeker, as Jesus exampled, she starts condemning her:

"at least you will not come into conflict with Godly Principles"

"don't call yourself a Christian"

She justifies her condemnation based upon the difficulties of another, but those difficulties may have been from God to reward disobedience.

Does not God have the power to make her life better?
---a_servant on 7/14/07

Will not God honor her humble question, since she did not act without asking?

Who behaves more like a Christian & demonstrates faith:

The one who humbly asks for God's viewpoint, or the one who harshly condemns from her own fear or bitterness?

She asked for input into a specific question - is it sin, but her accuser never answered that.

Many widows have raised children to God without husbands.

And God can cause her to marry who & when He wants.
---a_servant on 7/14/07

Where does Scripture says insemination is sin? It is not fornication. Since we don't get to make God's Law, we should have Scripture to support our stand.

Planned Parenthood clinics are sin. Their aims are contrary to God's aims.

We are to make disciples, not scatter sheep.

John 13:35 By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one to another.

Answers to questions should be framed in love.
---a_servant on 7/14/07

a servant:

Proverbs 9:8 & 27:5

Reprove not a scorner less he hate thee, rebuke a wise man and he will love thee.

Open rebuke is better then secret love.

I am a baby in Christ and have been rubuked many times, it has not caused me to run away from Christ but has drawn me closer to him. Sometimes the best advice comes to us in away we wouldn't like to recieve it. However it makes the person remember that advice more so then if it came to them all lasy and flowery.
---Marcia on 7/13/07

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Marcia: I agree with A Servant. Carla's answer was totally condemning and toally lacked any Christian love or compassion. Asking questions should not be condemned and people asking questions should not be told they are not Christians just for asking something. Carla needs to look in the mirror when she tells someone they are not Christians.
---Madison1101 on 7/13/07

This woman has many options. Get married then divorce(sin). Commit fornication(Sin). Walk into a sperm Donar clinic(Sin). Walk into social services (no sin) Walk into an adoption service(no sin) she asked for my thoughts so I gave them. I'm glad you see a harsh answer not because I'm hideous but because I have lived and seen the Harsh reality of been a single mother struggled on the bus with a hairdryer in elderly persons homes, mobile and on to own a Business single handed.
---Carla5754 on 7/13/07

Being a mother regardless of how you become one is not sensible it is SELFISH and has no experience attached to the task involved. I wouldn't wish or entertain the idea for some one to deliberately go ahead, unless I was Spiritually, Physically, and Mentally IMMATURE. Only after the event will she understand, just how hard a child is to bring up and that's a innocent LIFE TOO LATE. Thats not opinion it's FACT.
---Carla5754 on 7/13/07

"at least you will not come into conflict with Godly Principles"

"don't call yourself a Christian"

This is CERTAINLY condemnation.

Insemination does not dishonor God. There is no fornication.

Actions don't determine who is a Christian, God does. God forgave & converted Moses & Paul, both guilty of murder.

She is right, fruit does reveal. She was not serving God, He receives seekers. She accused a seeker, for asking a question.
---a_servant on 7/13/07

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Sharp rebukes for one who is asking "if having a baby without a husband is sin", smacks of self-righteousness.

If she was positive about the answer, there was no need to ask.

She is likely a Spiritual baby, that has now been run away from God for now, by 'loving' a Christian.

Does Jesus want His disciples to rebuke Spiritual children seeking Truth - Mt 19:13-14?
---a_servant on 7/13/07

a servent- its not condemnation it is a sharp rebuke in love. She stated that she just started working which means her life is in a transition. She says she doesn't want a guy, which means she think more of herself then of the baby. She says she has enough support to have her kides on her own which means- she doesn't see the value in a wholesome family.
---Marcia on 7/12/07

Carla... you are mean. Julie, my response would be for you to really pray and seek God's heart in this matter. He may have someone for you down the road and bless you with many children. Don't rush things. Pray, Pray, Pray. Then do what you believe God is telling you to do, not what anyone here on this site is telling you to do.
---betty8468 on 7/12/07

A Christian is one whom God has brought to Himself & that includes many children born outside marriage, many children born of adultery.

Adoption may be the option God chooses, but so might insemination. Surely, He can prevent pregnancy if He chooses - Jer 1:5. However, He is much more merciful than you - Rom 5:20.

Most don't ask if they know the answer.

Condemnation from 'loving' Christians prevents seekers from asking simple questions, so they can learn.
---a_servant on 7/12/07

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Hi Carla, to a point, I gotta agree with you--it is at the basis a selfish undertaking, BUT her mind is probably not thinking in terms of that. Her biological clock is ticking hard and fast and she's in a panic mode, most likely. Show some compassion to the woman, I've been in her shoes and they do hurt.
---Mary on 7/12/07

Carla, I find your response very, very harsh and especially...for a Christian. Can you really tell someone "not to call themselves a Christian" you have that power and right??
---Annie on 7/12/07

And as for suggesting artificial insemination !!!!! Well you KNOW them by their fruits! Look if it would be of any interest to you to have an infant. Adopt and at least you will give a parentless child a home, If you decided this is what you want to do at least you will not come into conflict with Godly Principles which is the foundation of any Start to a GOoD LIFE!
---Carla5754 on 7/12/07

You can do as you please but just don't call yourself a Christian if you do! What I just cannot understand is why would someone want to bring a child into the world for the status of being a one parent mother? You are old enough to know better than to ask a christian site to condone such a foolish act.

Have you any idea what is involved in HAVING a child let alone bring one up fatherless?

---Carla5754 on 7/12/07

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Before I got saved I used to think like you, I wanted to have or (mostly) adopt children but I didn't want to have to share the responsibilty of raising them. After I got save my thinking started to change. I realized it was selfish for me to want to deprive a child of having a earthly father in his or her life. Now if I have children I want them to have both a mommy and a daddy if God willing. I suggest you give yourself time to adjust to your new life and allow God to surprize you.
---Marcia on 7/11/07

God established marriage as the foundation to family. Children are raised by mother and father for a reason. God's reason is given in Malachi 2:14 (he desires godly offsping) - a godly man and godly woman work to raise their children to revere God and live holy lives. Consider Malachi 2:14-16. When children see faith modeled by a man and a woman (different types, same obedience to God) they learn what a holy life looks like.
---ben on 7/11/07

Whew! Man, you MEN are hard on her!!! Shame on you! I've been in her shoes and they're no fun. Excruciatingly painful shoes, for that matter. Yes, you guys have a point--she should NOT be having a baby while single, but don't judge her so harshly, I dealt with my own infertility for 20 years and it can be brutal.
---Mary on 7/11/07

Adopt? Foster?

You could have both . . . a guy about your age who is a big baby (-:}

Sue . . . if Paul told widows they could be happier staying single . . . he sure isn't promising them that a husband would amount to much.

Men aren't guaranteed to be good fathers. But you could become real so you can connect with a really right one.
---Bill_bila5659 on 7/11/07

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The thing that concerns me is that there are apparently so many believers who seem so ignorant when it comes to God's Word. Immorality is immorality and sin is sin. God intended that children are to be brought into the world by those who are married. It seems today we are calling truth falsehood and falsehood truth.
---Jerry6549 on 7/11/07

Seems that you are working your plan, not God's plan. See Gen 1:28. Fornication is sin, and children of sin are not as likely blessed as are children from marriage (obedience) - Dt 23:2, Heb 12:8.

Suggest several hours of prayer asking Him what He wants you to do. Perhaps He will permit insemination.
---a_servant on 7/11/07

Julie:"I want a baby"but you must have a husband to produce one they are not sold in walmart or on the Chtistianet.Why not adopt one there are so many unwanted ones.That would be admirable & you can even rent a man to fill in. as a child needs 2 parents.Pray seek & you will find.But please do not advertise this could be disasterous.
---Emcee on 7/11/07

Jody: If what you say is true, then why does God allow young fathers to die, leaving their wives widows and their young children fatherless? I know two missionary couples who had that happen, and the mothers never remarried, but returned to the mission field single mothers. Elisabeth Elliott is a third example.
---Madison1101 on 7/11/07

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I think you need to ask yourself what's good for the baby. If you work full time, who will be "raising" the child for you? Will they share your parenting ideals, or impose their own on you? How will the lack of a father figure affect the child throughout his or her life? Are you rescuing a child in a bad situation, or are your motives selfish? Would you be adopting? There's just so much to consider...
---Kate on 7/11/07

If that is the load you are willing to bare, then so be it.
---Rebecca_D on 7/11/07

God set up the family system with a mother and a father for a reason. The influence of the male figure is very important and the child will let you know that as time goes by. I hear all of the time from single moms that their young children between 5 -12 are begging them to marry just anybody because they want a "daddy". They long for a full and natural family and should not be deprived of that because of your selfishness. They do not develop to have normal intimate relationships.
---jody on 7/11/07

If you need to ask, then apparently you are being convicted of your decision. I find it very selfish, self motivated, and a child deserves a father and a mother. To intentionally set a child up to be fatherless, is not wisdom. Why not go to the pet store and find a dog or something. A Christian woman wouldn't want to give a child an orphan heart for the rest of their lives.
---Bob on 7/11/07

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An orphan heart is inner emptiness. It will give a child a profound sense of loneliness. It is a vague suspicion that my father did not want me and I am a tolerated guest on earth.
The orphan hearted feel like they are on the bottom even when they are on the top.
They can feel like a failure even after a great achievement. No matter how high their success they cannot enjoy it.
That feeling of insecurity stays with them.
---Bob on 7/11/07

It is hidden software continually running that keeps them desperate for the approval of a vague father out there somewhere.
They can't find this father, but they cannot stop trying.
They do not believe the compliments that people give them.
They are so sure that good things will not last that they often sabotage good careers and good relationships.
---Bob on 7/11/07

If a child does not acquire self confidence from their parents, it is highly unlikely they will have self confidence as an adult.

When children are deprived of their father's approval, they live with a piece of the puzzle missing that no one else can fill.

Women who want babies without fathers do not understand fatherhood and even less do they know how to mentor it.
The father is essential to building self esteem in children.
You will be adding to the meltdown of fatherhood.
---Bob on 7/11/07

No, I dont think it is a sin. I'm sure if anything is written in our Bible about it, somebody will post it.
---sue on 7/11/07

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julie, you might not want a husband, but should what you want or don't want cheat the baby of having a father in the home?

I think you're being selfish, putting parenthood in terms of what YOU want instead of what's best for the child.
---Jack on 7/11/07

You are living in a fantasy that has you thinking that you know better than God. He provided mother and faher right from the start.You are sadly mistaken if you think your children don't need a father. Go to any jail, rehab. centre, or food line, and you will find 90% of those people are from single parent homes. Any one in street ministry will tell you that almost everyone there are from single parent homes. Give your kids the best chance of their life by having 2 parents.
---john on 7/11/07

A child really need two parents of different genders in a supportive family unit. Don't do something stupid and put a child at a cultural disadvantage knowingly. If you actually plan to love your children why would you want to do something that would taint their development. Your potential action is excessively selfish on your part.
---notlaw99 on 7/11/07

I was a single mom for seven years after my divorce. I know that I could do it on my own, and I'm sure you could too. I chose to remarry and one of my reasons was that I know God's plan is for a family to have a mom and a dad. It is hard to make it work sometimes, but I want to follow the model God intended. I suggest you begin to pray for God to reveal His perfect plan for your life - a mate and a child may be it!
---melissa on 7/11/07

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