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Should Christians Date

Should Christians Date? For all you single Christians out there, are you waiting for God to bring you the "one" or are you dating to find the "one"?

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 ---Holly4jc on 7/12/07
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Mat 19:11 But he said to them, "Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.
Mat 19:12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it."

1Co 7:8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.
---aka on 3/30/11

Not dating would be like this:
"Hello, I'm Paul."
"Hello, I'm Melissa."
"Let's get married."
Dating is that preliminary part of the relationship where you get to know each other. Just make sure you stay within your biblical guidelines!
---Paul on 3/29/11

You speak those things as a person who has never read the Old Testament.

Surely you have.
---CraigA on 3/27/11

The Father in Heaven is not a genie in a bottle ...rubbing the bottle with prayer and poof your spouse appears

if one does not date then one must expect that OTHERS will be finding them a mate ...cultures like India practice this

if The Father in Heaven "brings" a spouse then HE would bring money food house etc ...of course He doesn't do any of those yet many will argue HE does

ACTION of dating to find a suitable partner or spend a lifetime wishing and declaring "a god" denied you
---Rhonda on 3/27/11

"God's plan is for us not to marry at all." .
---cmann26 on 3/26/11

That is one of the weardist things i ever heard. God invented marrage in the garden of Eden .
"let God bring us a women" God himself pointed out my wife to me . She was no one i would have thought to date.
God told me on three occasions that she was to be my wife. We have been married for almost 28 years
---dowanor on 3/26/11

"Let me first just say, God's plan was for us to remain unmarried"

"God's plan is for us not to marry at all"


How come God told Noah to go forth and multiply!
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/26/11

//Let me first just say, God's plan was for us to remain unmarried,but if we are tempted my sexual lust then we should marry.//

What youre suggesting is that the continuation of mankind depends upon our inability or unwillingness to stick to Gods plan and remain single.

If everyone had stuck to "Gods plan", none of us would even be here.
---Jasheradan on 3/26/11

Wow, I just stumbled on to this. But I see a lot of different arguments. Some back them up with scripture others not, there own opinions. Let me first just say, God's plan was for us to remain unmarried,but if we are tempted my sexual lust then we should marry. so for those who say we should not date and let God bring us a women, or let our pastor or parents arrange us a marriage. Its not gonna happen, cuz God's plan is for us not to marry at all. .
---cmann26 on 3/26/11

Can we define 'dating' before continuing?
---peter3594 on 4/13/10

I agree with what Jeffrey wrote earlier. Christian dating should start after God has shown a man and lady to each other as man and wife in HIS plan.
---Adetunji on 3/22/10

first of all i believe christians should not date, because if we really believe in the word of God when He says "delight youself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart", this verse mean assures us that God can guide us to the right people with the attitudes and charecters we want only if our hearts are fully devoted to Him or else you better date if your faith in God's word is small.
---jeffrey on 3/19/10

Before my husband and I were married, we had sex. We also lived together.Both were wrong.We are Christians now.We have a wonderful marriage.Thank God.God is not using our past sins against us, but we are covered by the blood of Jesus.If we have problems now, we would have the present to blame, not the past. We have been married for 3 years in November. God is good.
---Kella3336 on 3/17/08

William::Since when has dating become a licence for intimacy.Wow The way things are going down hill proves the truth "A rolling stone gathers no Moss" Dating is a time to know and get to understand your intended Partner.To have a roll in the HAY is Reason why Marriages DO NOT LAST,Those with this idea need to wake up,or you roll right into the pit and it is FIRE FOREVER.
---Emcee on 3/14/08

I see nothing wrong with 2 Christians dating. Just because you are Christians doesn't mean your dead. Live your life to the fullest. God doesn't want his people to act like they've been sucking on lemons.
---Rebecca_D on 3/14/08

William - when did dating mean an intimate relationship that is reserved for marriage? I thought a date meant anything from meeting for a talk over a cup of tea or coffee, or enjoying a game of golf together, to going to a concert or going to church together. In the Bible the mates were chosen by the parents. Since that isn't done now, how are we supposed to get acquainted if it is wrong to date?
---Gena on 3/14/08

Married or single, Christians are "dating".

They do not wait and end up miserable, separated, divorced, remarried and back out dating, separated, divorced.
Cyclic relationships, leaving God out temporarily, repenting when it all falls apart. Back out "dating", pretending God understands, jumping into miserable marriages and kicking themselves down the road.
---Cindy on 3/14/08

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I see nothing wrong with a Christian dating. Go out and have a nice dinner. Talk a little. I do not believe that someone is going to meet someone and the next day or perhaps a year and lets get married. It doesn't add up and it makes little sense to me. "Don't get into sin". You do have my permission to date. If this will make you feel better. Don't call it dating. Call it going out to dinner and talking. Praise GOD.
---catherine on 3/14/08

Absolutely not. with every relationship in the Bible none of the men ever participated in a pre-marital relationship."

Thats right!!! We need arranged marriages! Men and women should never meet until they get married! Our parents, or better yet, our pastors should decide who we should marry.
---NurseRobert on 3/14/08

3. William, are you married? If so, did God bring your spouse straight to you and did you know immediately that she was your future wife? Also did you spend NO time alone with her at all until your wedding night? I know that this does sometimes happen but I fail to see how 2 people can get to know each other well enough to want to spend the rest of their lives together if they have ALWAYS been in the company of other people (never dated) before the wedding.
---RitaH on 3/14/08

1. Since when did a 'date' mean 'an intimate relationship outside of marriage'? Where I come from a date means an appointment to meet socially with a member of the opposite sex. It is a way of getting to know someone. Yes, I know that in this day and age (because of people's change of attitude to morality) some 'dates' do end up being intimate (even first dates) and that should not happen, but that is not the meaning of the word DATE.
---RitaH on 3/14/08

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2. Some couples become intimate before marriage because of a lack of teaching, self-respect and self discipline. No-one seems to be teaching that all good things are worth waiting (and working) for. However, for 2 people to get to know each other well enough to know if they could live together in a happy marriage they need to spend some time together on a one-to-one basis, preferably in a 'safe' environment where temptations will be minimal, not going back to the other persons flat etc.
---RitaH on 3/14/08

God said, "It is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a helper comparable to him.'

The only way to be 'comparable to him' is to get to know the other person. You wouldn't want to just pick someone off the street and marry that person, would you?

As for dating: know the difference between recreational dating and getting married dating. Proverbs 18:22 "He who FINDS a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD." therefore we must go out and search.
---Steveng on 3/13/08

Dating is alright.Dating is not having sex.At least it wasn't when I was dating.How are you to really know someone if you're never alone with them? I would think a Christian would at least have a little will power.
---shirley on 3/13/08

Amen William...I agree totally! :-)
---Holly4jc on 3/13/08

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Hi, Holly . . . I'd say Christians can date. But what you do needs attention. And I'd say it is good to date with others, as a group, so we can balance our relating with other Christians who are good for us. We *are* supposed to love ALL people > "For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" (in Matthew 5:46) So, I'd say a test for a relationship would be how much we enrich each other to love a-l-l people more and better. So, dating would be needed so we can see how we do together.
---Bill_bila5659 on 3/13/08

William ... What is your definition of "date"?

You seem to imply something sinful in it?
---alan_of_UK on 3/13/08

Should Christians date? Absolutely not. The concept of an intimate relationship outside of marriage is not scriptural and against the will of God for both men and women. With every relationship in the Bible none of the men ever participated in a pre-marital relationship. The Lord is still in the business of match making. We need not to do anything but wait until he is ready for us to know who our spouse is.
---William on 3/13/08

Eloy. Yes, "scurd" means "scared". I wrote it like that on purpose.
---Rickey on 7/17/07

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Rickey, does "scurd" mean "scared"?
---Eloy on 7/15/07

I believe both. Some need to quit being scurd & date. While others need to keep seeking God & not a mate.

Some won't date because of lack of confidence or because of hurts from the past.
Some date & not seek God. They love Him, but desire a mate & won't wait.

Proverbs 3:5-6 applies to both cases.
Those scurd to step out & give dating a try need to trust God that He will let them know whether they should just be friends or not.
---Rickey on 7/13/07

I like what Eloy said, "I'm just busy with living every day".

Folks steadily seeking a mate need to just live & enjoy life. There is much more to life than marriage.

I feel where folks come from in desiring a mate though. I am enjoying life though. I have friends, etc.
---Rickey on 7/13/07

i do not believe in dating. God is number one in my life and if He would have me to date than i would follow where He leads. He alone fills me and supports me and i do not search for another person to meet my needs or desires. God alone is He who takes care of me.
---Amber on 7/13/07

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Jesus is the head of a marriage. Not you nor your wife. He is the head. You and your wife are the Bride. Also,He is your provider alone. Review the scripture again. There is an order in a relationship, but the man is not the head over the wife...Christ is the head over both of them.
---Amber on 7/13/07

Holy4jc: I laughed when I read yor blog, because I wanted someone to response to what I was saying and you did. I love interacting with you all and I love getting to know you on a personal level.
---Marcia on 7/13/07

Holy4jc: I say a Christian man can date but a Christian woman shouldn't because I am old fashion and I was taught the man should ask the woman out, not the woman. If the man ask the woman then thats ok. They both can date. But if the woman is out looking to date a man and ask him out then that starts the relationship on the wrong note. Because the woman is taking the leadership position. i hope this is more clearer.
---Marcia on 7/13/07

Holy4jc: I try to keep everything short and to the point but I'm realizing on somethings I need to put more into it to get my point across. Also I must again say blind dating is wrong- he should at least have established a secure relationship before he asks her on a date.
---Marcia on 7/13/07

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Waiting? nah, I'm just busy with living every day. I figure, if it happens, it happens, and if it doesn't, it doesn't. I know that we all age, oh well.
---Eloy on 7/13/07

I was at first confused about marriage thinking the right woman for me would have to be someone God said "Here is the wife I want you to have." God corrected me and told me that it works like this. When there are 2 true Christians that are compatible,serious,and want to marry, God says "Now Marry". God can pick a spouse for you and bring them to you but it is not always the case.
---Matthew on 7/13/07

Ok Marcia...I have a question or perhaps just an observation. You say Christian men can date, but Christian women can't. Well...if we are not to be unequally yoked, then who are the Christian men supposed to be dating? If they can date but the Christian women can't, then should the Christian men date non-Christian women? That definitely won't work! Why not have both parties wait on the Lord and let Him bring that person into your life.
---Holly4jc on 7/13/07

Part 2) If you sincerely want to wait on the Lord for your mate, then God will honor you and keep you for the one He chooses. I have been divorced 17 years and totally celibate for 11 years, not a date, kiss, hand holding or so on. I asked God to keep me for my mate that He chooses and let me tell you...
---Holly4jc on 7/13/07

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Part 3) God has been faithful. If I meet a man that I find interesting, I pray first and then ask all my trusted prayer warriors to also pray. I ask God to take the person away if he is NOT God's perfect choice for me and let me tell you...they disappear! This has worked for 11 years straight, I've not dated or anything, as I stated before...
---Holly4jc on 7/13/07

Marcia, I'm confused by the statement "Christian men can date but not Christian women". What do you mean by that? And what is so wrong with a woman asking a man out? Granted, I would prefer being asked, but I've asked men out and been somewhat successful.
---Katie on 7/13/07

Part 4) But of course, you have to be 100% willing to wait on the Lord and trust that He has the perfect person at the perfect time. You have to be willing to leave that at His feet and let Him be in charge, no matter how lonely or anxious you may get. And remember...God's timing is not our timing. I know, sad but true! But if you will wait, it will be surely worth it when the blessing comes!
---Holly4jc on 7/13/07

Part 5) We need to trust that God has our best interests in mind and He knows the perfect person that will fit together with us, the person that we will be able to minister together as one for His glory. Why bother dating when God already knows who He has kept aside for you? Why give even a part of yourself to someone who is not going to be your spouse?
---Holly4jc on 7/13/07

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Part 6) Only God truly knows a person's heart. He knows who will treat you with love and respect. Trust in Him, God's heart is to bless your heart. Wait on Him, for surely He is able to bring it to pass. Read the story of Abraham sending for a wife (Rebecca) for Isaac. Its' a picture of Father God sending His Holy Spirit to bring us our mate. Trust it will be a good thing and that even if you do not hear the bells go off in the beginning, or have that immediate physical attraction...
---Holly4jc on 7/13/07

Part 7) if you are willing to accept God's will and His chosen person for you in your life, God will make it beautiful and knit it all together so all the parts fit together perfectly. He makes ALL things beautiful if we allow Him to. God knows our perfect fit partner and when it happens, it will be a good thing...a VERY good thing, blessed and brought about by our Father above. Every good and perfect gift is from above...James 1:17
---Holly4jc on 7/13/07

Christian men can date but not Christian women. Remember for this reason will a man leave his mother or father and be joined to his wife. I think Biblical order should be applied to dating. The woman should never ask the man, the man should ask the woman. I also don't believe in blind dating.
---Marcia on 7/12/07

Instead of dating, I go for getting to know people in their real lives, and listen to what they say they believe and want. I think we will want the same important things, if we belong together.

Get to know any people she says she trusts and is submissive to. THEY could be behind how she relates with me.

And mix with various Christians, plus see if God is making me her head > if not, this is all I need to know.
---Bill_bila5659 on 7/12/07

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It is okay to date if single. There is no reason why a single Christian has to be dateless. And it is okay to wait on God. but if one should find a person whom they can talk to and share their life with, there is nothing wrong with that.
---Rebecca_D on 7/12/07

Dating is a great way to get to know someone. It is best to marry someone that you have become friends with and that you have dicerned that you are equally yoked with. The Bible teaches that when a man starts acting unbecomingly towards his 'virgin' he best marry her. Dating is a prelude to marriage. If during the dating process you find that you would never marry the other, stop dating imediately. Also do not fornicate during dating.
---jody on 7/12/07

Dating is a great way to get to know someone. It is best to marry someone that you have become friends with and that you have dicerned that you are equally yoked with. The Bible teaches that when a man starts acting unbecomingly towards his 'virgin' he best marry her. Dating is a prelude to marriage. If during the dating process you find that you would never marry the other, stop dating imediately. Also do not fornicate during dating.
---jody on 7/12/07

I think Christians can date, if they're dating for the right reasons. I am waiting for God to bring me the right one for me, but I am also open to dating or seeing others to see if a relationship will grow into something deeper. Sometimes, you think you find the "one" but it turns out not to be. And I take past experiences to learn more about myself.
---Katie on 7/12/07

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