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Baby With Our House Girl

My husband of one year is having a baby with our house girl, what shall I do? I am really frustrated.

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 ---theresia on 7/18/07
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I don't need any woman sitting under me and my man. I can do the cleaning, sewing,cooking, washing. Have the kids, hold the pocketbook. A woman of many talents. Not even my sister,mama don't need to be under me and man, all of the time.
Theresia, you need to buy the tape, or CD by Aretha Franklin(Dr Feelgood) and learn from it. I don't recommend this type music anymore, but you sure could use some wisdom. You let satan ride and he took the whole car from you. Sorry. You did it to yourself.
---Robyn on 8/3/07

God dose not give us more then what we could handle ,although it may seem like it.He will give you wisdom,I'll pray for you.God Bless.
---Ann on 8/2/07

Madison: treating the unrespectable as such is part of "doing unto others". Similarly, punishing criminals is part of that. There is nothing in Christianity about being a doormat or condoning sin.
---Ktisophilos on 7/20/07

KT: "Respect has to be earned" is not a Biblical concept. Scripture says to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This is not conditional, it is a command.

If one has the love of Christ in them, it is possible to respect the unloveable people in one's life. My husband began dating the day after he moved out. He travelled with his girlfriends all over the country. I still respected him.
---Madison1101 on 7/20/07

Respect must be earned. What has the husband done to deserve respect? Would Madison have been so civil to her divorcing husband if he had done that?
---Ktisophilos on 7/20/07

Rebecca: Why do you put words in my mouth? I did not say I would allow the spouse and the girl to live under my roof simultaneously.

This situation requires that the girl find other living arrangements, and the couple decide if they are going to work to save the marriage or seek divorce.

You asked why the girl and husband should be respected, and I showed you why. During my divorce, my husband and I were totally civil and respectful toward each other.
---Madison1101 on 7/19/07

If my husband got some other girl that was living in my house, yeah I'd kick them both out. Madison and John, so you two would just let your spouse keep on staying there along with the girl who is caring the husbands baby? Not me, he was the one whom commited adultry.
---Rebecca_D on 7/19/07

Rose and Marcia have given you some great advice. Like I said before, it SEEMS impossible to repair, BUT God does miracles. He can restore the marriage if both are willing to work on it. It won't be easy for anyone involved, but it can be rewarding in the end if given the chance. Love is a decision, but rarely an easy one.
---Kady on 7/19/07

You stated that you are frustrated, This means that the sin of unforgiveness is beginning to settle in your heart. I would not give the enemy that foothold over your marriage. You have a right to divorce him and you have the right to try and work it out. Only you know your husbands heart better then anyone on this site. Be Loving in your decision, in doing so you will place vengence in the hands of God Almighty.
---Marcia on 7/19/07

Thanks, what a cool and wise head! Most of what I see here is just emotional stuff, clean the house! impossible to repair! divorce due to adultery! But in marriage these things can happen, we need to be cool-headed. Theresia, first ensure the house girl leaves house, which will allow you to sit down with your husband to rebuild your relationship. We must learn to be patient, allowing others to fail and grow, understanding that potential is more valuable than behaviour.
---Rose on 7/19/07

Rebecca: Matthew 7:12 says "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."

That is why she should respect her husband and her house girl.
---Madison1101 on 7/18/07

Hmmm...Elder suggested you CLEAN HOUSE--I would too--beginning with the husband and his pregnant housegirl! I'd "sweep" the rug out from under them, so to speak, kicking their filthy behinds to the curb!
---Mary on 7/18/07

Fire the house girl, off with her head.
Nah, your old man is now responsible for the child. Yes, that's right. Child support until the courts say it's finished. Oh yeah, and the house girl can garnish your income if you don't pay up.
---Brad on 7/18/07

You need to first acknowledge that "our house girl" is not your servant, but a human being. She is probably also not a "girl", but is a woman. If she is not an adult, your husband can be charged with rape. I expect you are the same person who posted several weeks ago about the problems in your marriage where you thought that going on "holiday" would fix everything. You should have listened to us back then.
---Susie on 7/18/07

What do you need a housegirl for, to begin with? is this like a maid? Do you have a lot of kids to care for or a very large home? Why is she living with you and a spouse of only one year. My goodness! You don't need anyone under foot when you have only been married for one year.You really picked a skunk of a man. The honeymoon is not even over and he is buidling a family with someone else? Unbelievable and very,very sad.
---Robyn on 7/18/07

RebeccaD. So what you're saying is to return evil for evil? "They didn't respect you so why should you respect them?"
---john on 7/18/07

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Sharing him with another woman wasn't in your marriage vows. Have a good talk with him and if he doesn't want to give her up then either you have to live with this or take the other way out by telling him to leave. You have the right to divorce him if he will not repent but it would be God's desire for repentance and reconcilliation.
---john on 7/18/07

I'd kick them both out. They didn't respect you, so why should you respect them?
---Rebecca_D on 7/18/07

This is certainly messy, and seems impossible to repair, but God can do miracles. First thing to do is fire the house girl which I would think goes without saying. Secondly, find out what your husband wants. Does he plan to run off with her and start a new life, or does he want to stay with you? Then seek out the Lord on what he wants your reaction to be. He'll give you the comfort and wisdom you seek. Trust him, and let him be there for you. Cling to God. I will be praying for you.
---Kady on 7/18/07

Frustrated?What about irrate?what a breech of trust and it is pure ADULTRY!Do not put blinders on to that.Do you not realize that soon enough that a little child will be there whom your house girl and husband will share a most sacred and intimate pact with and you are not apart of that? That sacred covenant was supposed to be with you and only you. Are you prepared to watch that and experience the pain that WILL go along with it? You need to make your own decision, butyou must not allow the girl to stay.
---jody on 7/18/07

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Your 'house girl', how degrading, is now a second 'wife'. If you were a fundamental mormon, this would be perfectly acceptable.
You marriage of one year is in tough shape.
If you're there because of the money, with a 'house girl', you can continue to try and hold onto your meal ticket, or you can divorce due to adultery. The fact that you're only frustrated tells me the money might be the important issue here.
So I ask you, are either one of you Christians?
---Brad on 7/18/07

Maybe you should just CLEAN HOUSE......
---Elder on 7/18/07

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