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Singles Are Left Out

As a single in my 20's, I often feel the focus of many ministries are either couple or family related. Is there a reason that so many singles feel left out?

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 ---Katie on 7/26/07
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I think the church, regardless of denomination, has this belief that married couples are more stable, and it's like this holy grail we're supposed to shoot for. Paul said it was better to be single. We can focus on the Lord. That should be celebrated, not looked down upon. In the county I live in, there are 100s of churches. I did a google search and only 3 had actual ministries for singles. If any church as one at all, they should be commended for trying. It's better to meet a mate at your church. Like any group, it will be the reflection of its leaders. If it's just a meeting market, that's kind of sad. However, it's at least more than most. Singles are a growing number in America and the churches are NOT meeting their needs.
---Amy on 9/5/12

maybe i am naive, but i was led to believe that that "church" (fellowship) is what you put into it, not what you take out. of course the teaching time (service) can be corrupt and then it is time to look elsewhere.

if you local body does not have a singles ministry - start one!

if you local singles group is for "hooking up", chastise them thoroughly and get the ministry back up on to Godly feet (where the focus is Jesus not my bod!)!
---chip on 9/5/12

\\I actually dont attend church anymore - no need to personally\\
---Kathryn on 9/5/12

Why would you think you don't need to?


1Cor 12:14-27

For the body is not one member, but many....God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, just as He desired....there are many members, but one body. But God has so composed the body....that the members may have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it, if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. Now you are Christs body, and individually members of it.


Church isn't all about what you need. If you are in Christ, then you are needed.
---James_L on 9/5/12

I actually dont attend church anymore - no need to personally - but I hated how the singles departments at some churches seemed to be a dating / mingling place - trying to couple up people is not an effective way
To reach out to singles or respect them
---Kathryn on 9/5/12

I was married for 16 years but now am "single" Here's one for you...I felt left out as a married person out of many things, it seemed like singles had all the fun. Now...It seems you are do tend to get left out.
---faith on 8/15/07

I too am single, but in my 30s. However, my situation is a little different. Yes, many times I do feel all alone as I am the only single in my church. However, my pastor (dad) does try to pull me into different activities. I believe the churches that have singles in their churches are trying to reach out to them. If you don't feel there is a ministry for the singles, talk to your pastor and see if you can get him to start a ministry for you. Most pastors are there to help their sheep. keren9537
---Keren on 7/31/07

Most single people see Jesus as their Lord and Savior and Master, but never take him as His bride. You are a bride, the bride of Christ. When you take Jesus as your Husband and God as your Father you will lead a very fulfilling life. Then when it's God's timing, He will bring that perfect mate to you.
---BrideofChrist on 7/31/07

Another view: I am married and feel left out of the married programs and activities. Why? My spouse does not attend church. Very suspicious position to be in also. Married women look at other women as threats. Yes, in the church,too.They do not see a man with me, so they assume I am on the prowl,for their man. They treat you differently. Oh well. Just wanted to share that.
I dont care about all that. My heart is right before God.
---Robyn on 7/28/07

I agree with Katie. I was married and am now single. Fellowship activities and classes tend to be toward families and couples, with messages directed at the marrieds and families. If a church does have a singles ministry, it is usually for the younger crowd, and the older folks, like me, are left out. Pity the widowed people too.
---Madison1101 on 7/28/07

I agree with you and find it sad. I feel that Ministries should focus on the word of God as it applies to everyone. It is ok to have a sermon re family/marriage issues occasionally but this constant focus is a little much. Maybe it is because they get more money from families so they appease them. There is so much more to preach about than family and couple issues. Right? If they really thought about it they should be making the singles, widows and orphans feel like part of a family.
---jody on 7/28/07

Rebecca, I'm not in any hurry to find a mate. Where did you imply that? I just feel that singles are often forgotten. I have nothing against married people or families, because I have several friends who are married, but I feel that many things are more family oriented. And singles need something for just singles because we are having different experiences than those who are married with families.
---Katie on 7/28/07

I'm not sure of the exact reason, but many "typical" churches seem to have not read 1st Cor. 7 in detail particularly vs. 8, 27, 28 & 32
---Gilbert on 7/27/07

Maybe it is self-pity. You are only in your 20's. What is the rush on finding a mate so early? In my church we have mostly married couples, and a few singles. We try to include everyone in anything that we do. We do alot of things during the summer. Cookouts at one's house (usually Preachers house) and all are invited. If a single person feels shuned away, chances are they didn't make the effort to associate with anyone. And then they put the blame on the married couples.
---Rebecca_D on 7/27/07

I can relate with what you are describing. When you are young and wanting so much to serve God but not knowing where to turn, it can be isolating. However I am taking advantage of the time I am not in public ministry to prepare myself so that when God opens the door I'll be ready. Work on being content where God has positioned you and take advantage of every opportunity that is of God. Your in your growing season if you step out prematurely it would bring dishonor to God. Patience is a virtue beloved.
---Marcia on 7/27/07

I also feel it is unfair for pastors and the rest of the church to just focus on marrieds. If they cannot afford an ongoing singles ministry. Have a special service,program or something for the single people,from time to time. I think that would be a nice godly gesture toward the singles. It would make them feel part of the church and welcomed. Sometimes Being Christian is just common sense things we can do.
---Robyn on 7/27/07

It is indeed regrettable that many smaller congregations don't have an effective Christian programming specifically aimed at younger single Christians.

My advice would be to try to attend a large church of any denomination who has such programming specifically to participate in those events as an adjunct activity.
---notlaw99 on 7/27/07

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Are you in a sound Christian family church? I need to become for real in God's love so I can connect with the ones who are genuine people. And I know the ones who are Jesus people have families and are quite busy, so I content myself with socializing by serving. Love satisfies me.

You are getting what God knows you REALLY are ready for, now. Your eyes can be bigger than your stomach > don't shop while you're hungry.
---Bill_bila5659 on 7/27/07

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