Boyfriend Isn't Forgiving Me
I thought my boyfriend had lied to me. He was angry. I said I was sorry I misunderstood him, that I would like his side of the story. Later I write and tell him that I had no right to say what I did. He had a right to be angry. I asked forgiveness. Still no response. What should I do?
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---notmyname on 7/30/07
Helpful Blog Vote (8)
Are you a Christian?
If you were able to think he lied to you, this tells me you don't trust him. Why would you have a boyfriend whom you KNOW you don't trust?
Is HE a Christian? A Christian can be expected to help you when you are wrong. Or the person can't be trusted, I would say.
Fornication and other sinning can get people emotionally in a wrong spirit so this can happen.
---Bill_bila5659 on 5/26/08|
Did you have a good weekend, notmyname?
All of your man troubles on the backburner, for awhile anyway?
---MarkB on 8/6/07|
What did you mean, "Don't tell me you fed him your special lasagna dish?" I don't understand at all.
---notmyname on 8/3/07|
Yes, God always does things BETTER than we expect. His ways are NOT our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts. He also sees the hearts of people. My heart hurt as much that I had grieved the Holy Spirit as it did that I had grieved my boy friend. But I had the assurance that God had forgiven me. Now, I have the assurance that my friend has forgiven me. So, yes, very good! :)
---notmyname on 8/2/07|
WOW, notmyname, that is good > that's kind of like what can happen to me > I can get in a problem with someone, but after I have prayed and God has helped me to see what I need to see . . . things can turn out to be so different and BETTER than I expected >
Better than I PRAYED for things to be, since God does BETTER than we can ask or think > Ephesians 3:20-21.
---Bill_bila5659 on 8/2/07|
Oh goodie, the trauma is all over with. You can breathe again. Maybe it will end up in true love, marriage, everything you've ever wanted in a man. Let us know. We'll hold our breath. Until then, I'm going to concern myself with the bridge that fell apart in Minn., MN, far more important.
---BananaSplit on 8/1/07|
JODY, REBECCA D, WIVV:
Thank you so much for your non-condemning replies and for your good advice to wait and leave it in God's hands. I heard from him this afternoon. He has forgiven me. Circumstances were where he could not get back to me and he appreciated my letters very much. I am very relieved.
---notmyname on 8/1/07|
Yes, you are right about God using things to make the worst in us come out. Then we can deal with it and be forgiven.
I made a wrong assumption about my b/f. Seems like a lot of others on here then made wrong assumptions about me. Maybe they need to be forgiven too.
---notmyname on 8/1/07|
Anonymous - I have never said any of those things. I don't think that highly of myself to say those things and I have never said or thought that anyone could not remarry. Must be someone else.
---notmyname on 8/1/07|
notmyname . . . I think God's counsel is freely given > "Freely you have received, freely give," Jesus says in Matthew 10:8.
Whatever people have told you HAS to be true, SOMEHOW, since we ALL are not perfect. ANY of us acting in our selfishness are acting in immaturity, etc.
Circumstances were able to fool you? Seemed so convincing? I LOVE how God arranges for things to happen to expose my paranoid tendency. I'm STILL learning not to be fooled by how things are made to look.
---Bill_bila5659 on 8/1/07|
Your actions are immature. Even the admitting and writing him letters (probably lives not too far away), all of it is something a young girl would do. We're telling you the truth, especially if you're over the age of 45. Arrested development in the relationship arena. There's a reason for it, if you don't find out how to stop old behavior patterns, this will go on until you're way too old for boyfriends. Around the age of 50, maturity should be well in place.
---Crystal on 7/31/07|
Are you the woman who is so secure in Christ - in Him, you live, move and have your being, except your love life is always in a shambles. Are you the one who says that your eyes are totally on Christ, except for the dating and not finding anyone on CN that meets your criteria? Are you the one who tells everyone they can't remarry, but make an exception for yourself - out there looking for someone?
---anonymous on 7/31/07|
I am amazed by some of the responses like how immature I am. I thought that when a person accepts responsibility for their actions and says they are wrong without excuses and without blaming the other person for their actions . . . I thought that was a mature action. I'm glad that God forgives better than some people.
---notmyname on 7/31/07|
As the saying goes, he's just not that interested in you. If you pull emotional blunders like this often, I'd wash my hands of it, too.
---Lindt on 7/31/07|
Wait until you're mature enough to handle a relationship. If you have a good church, find yourself some Christian counseling and sort through what's really eating Goodgirl's grapes. And don't tell me you fed him your special lasagne dish.
---DePuTy on 7/31/07|
You need to see a counselor. This is a pattern and will continue until you receive some help. You will keep picking and choosing the wrong kinds of boyfriends. If you end up marrying the wrong one, (again), you'll be in the same boat. Get some professional help. Desperate women make bad decisions.
---Mark on 7/31/07|
Judging by the details given, it sounds like there is a level of immaturity involved here that is not conducive to a healthy relationship.
---DoryLory on 7/31/07|
You should do nothing at this stage. He has to make the next move. If he's not mature enough to take your "sorry" as serious, than that's his problem, not yours. (This is assuming your, "sorry" was for real.)
---wivv on 7/30/07|
Make like a banana and split.
You are sounding oh so desperate, and all wrapped up in a dippy relationship. This does sound like Juniors and Seniors in High School. So finish school and keep your eyes on Jesus Christ, and you won't need to worry about ratty relationships. When the timing is right, God will open your eyes to the right person.
Don't waste your money on silly cards and presents and try and buy him back. This is not a good mix.
---BananaSplit on 7/30/07|
Yes, I am a Christian and so is he. I do realize I had no reason to not trust him. I acted on circumstances instead of knowing all the facts. Sometimes we do things out of our emotions because we have been hurt or betrayed before by someone else. That is what happened here. There is no fornication or anything immoral going on with me or with anyone else.
---notmyname on 7/30/07|
When someone tells you the truth and you flat out call them a liar, that cuts like a knife. He needs time to mend, to heal. Give him some space to cool down. If he accepts your apoloigy, then great. If not there is nothing more you can do to change his mind/heart.
---Rebecca_D on 7/30/07|
Without an entire history, it is always hard to answer, but the ball is in his court. Give him time. Just leave things as they are because you have already done what you could. Now it is his choice to talk to you and be unforgiving or whatever he is doing. When in doubt, always pray. bless you
---jody on 7/30/07|
Pray and ask the Lord what to do. It seems that if he is unwilling to forgive you, he is probably not good relationship material. You may need to move on.
---Trish9863 on 7/30/07|