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So Many Failing Marriages

I'm reading so many blogs about marriages failing. How about some help for single people, so they can know how to avoid marrying someone who will turn out to be an adulterer or abuser etc. CAN we make sure with God?

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 ---Bill_bila5659 on 8/8/07
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In and out of marriage and giving into marriage is an end-time sign. God meant for marriage to last forever -- it's a covenant and God takes that very serious.
---Mr._Graham on 10/12/07

bill,its a sign of the times,committment and love are today just words with strings attached too them.
---tom2 on 8/26/07

The full title and name of the author of the book Ronke and I have spoken of is:

"Love and Respect"

By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

(oh yes...there is also a workbook that goes along with it...maybe your church (s) may be interested in doing a bible study with both of these tools)

Blessings everyone! :-) :-) :-)
---Holly4jc on 8/10/07

Ronke: My church uses this book to do a married couples bible study. My pastor raves about it. I have purchased a copy myself and although I am single and do not have anyone in my life as of yet, I too want to read it and prepare myself to be a proper wife for someone. Thanks for sharing that info! Be blessed and if it be the Lord's will, may He bless you with His choice for that special mate, according to His perfect will and perfect timing.
---Holly4jc on 8/10/07

There is this really great book that i am reading and believe will help a lot of marriage relationships. It is "Love and Respect" by Emerson E. I am not married but it is really helping to change my attitude towards marriage better to find out now than later on. Try reading it.
---ronke8497 on 8/10/07

There are no gaurentees. It takes Gods help at the center of the relationship from the beginning and even then,it takes committment and work. Divorce is too easy and temptation is there. Regarding abuse, the best way to know about that is to know the person for A LONG time and even during conflict. If a man hits a woman one time, trust me, he is a woman beater. Do not marry a man who hit you even 1 time. If he makes comments that it is ok to hit women sometimes,get away from him.
---jody on 8/9/07

Congratulations, Lorra! :)
---Mary on 8/9/07

Marriage will be the greatest challenge of your life, without a doubt. It must be built on honesty, and i mean being honest with all things, good and bad, for it to have a chance. Patience to get to know your partner is another key to a successfull marriage. Really get to know one another before making that committment. You must also both be strong in your faith, because there may be a lot of need for it during bad times and everyone has bad times !
---tony on 8/9/07

One way to avoid a bad marriage would be to give the relationship a chance to grow which should be at least six months before talk of marriage. Make sure you meet the relatives. If the person you are dating doesn't want you to meet the family, that is a clue that there is something wrong. If the person wants to rush into marriage, it is a red flag. Attend church with the person and see how they act in that setting and how they relate to other Christians.
---Susie on 8/8/07

I come from a family with an extra-ordinary success rate in marriage. I have been married for 15 years this very day, and my marriage is stronger than it was when we first married. This was not luck, it was not chance, and it was not a surprise to anyone who knew us.

Most divorces can be predicted before the wedding takes place, or shortly thereafter.

If you do not want a divorce or to get stuck with dud, start by spending more time planning for your marriage than your wedding.
---lorra8574 on 8/8/07

There are no safe and guaranteed ways to be sure your marriage will not fail. Even marrying another Christian is no guarantee. It chould increase the likelihood of your marriage lasting, if you marry another Christian but again, no guarantees. All marriages undergo tests and trials. You have to go ahead, pray and believe Jesus wil help your marriage to be successful. We have to do our part also. We have to take our vows and our partners sincerely. Be committed to making our marriages work.
---Robyn on 8/8/07

Bill, I always tell women who are looking for a husband to get to know Jesus as their Husband first. That way, they won't be deceived. They will pick up quickly on anything that doesn't express the Spirit of Christ. I don't tell them to look for someone who doesn't make mistakes but instead for one who, when he does make a mistake, is willing to accept the responsibility for it.
---Linda on 8/8/07

When I met my husband, I told him that if he didn't love Jesus more than me then I wouldn't marry him. I have to be connected with spiritually before I can be connected with any other way. I believe that is wise counsel and can be applied to either gender. If the foundation is good, the building won't fall. Test, trials, and tribulation all reveal the foundation and if the building falls, the foundation is all wrong.
---Linda on 8/8/07

The Holy Spirit is our Surety. Without Him, you'll drift from man to man - woman to woman.
The Holy Spirit brings conviction for sin and assurance against failure. If you have and know the Holy Spirit, you can ask Him - He will show you the cause for failures in your life.
To be Crystal Clear, if you have a relationship with the Holy Spirit, you won't have to be praying the constant prayer... Lord, if this is the wrong man, let him disappear....Lord, if this the right man, let him stay.
---Crystal on 8/8/07

A doubleminded man or woman, will receive nothing from the Lord.

If you're Word of Faith, praying a constant litiny of prayers over youself every day for the "right mate", my mate will be this, he'll have this, he'll do this, and you keep coming up empty handed, it is time to get a grip and realise that you're doing something wrong.
---Crystal on 8/8/07

The only help the single needs is the Holy Spirit. He's more than enough.
If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, it's enough. If you know how to pray the prayer of faith, it doesn't require repeating your notebook full of scriptures each and every day. Then when you meet someone, praying.. is he, isn't he, is he, isn't he...he loves me, he loves me not.
If you really know God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, what more do you need.
---Crystal on 8/8/07

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Your security and surety of the right one being there in your life, at the right time, will bring you peace. Your peace will not be disturbed. Your Christian resolves to avoid sinning with the potential mate will stick. You will not be led astray by lust.
The right person will not disturb the peace of your soul. If you don't know the Holy Spirit, you're going to be dancing in the dark. Hit or miss. Lord, please let him disappear if he's wrong...Lord, please let him stay if he's right....
---Crystal on 8/8/07

Nowadays Lust is wrongly considered as love.Wait & ask Jesus for the right life partner.When 2 young people meet there is attraction between them,don't take it as love but wait for emotional ride to come down. Love must be tough.
---ansha5385 on 8/8/07

You can't be sure of your potential spouse's future behavior, but you can mitigate certain risks. Sensible precautions are a long courting period, values, and family history. Bonding with them and seeing what principles they live by will give you good insight into their life choices and behavior. Lust (mistaken for love) overrides the judgment and objectivity it takes to do this. Pray for wisdom, discernment, and patience. You don't "fall in love", you choose it.
---Jim on 8/8/07

The way to avoid marrying the wrong person, is to first of all, be fully surrendered to God with your life. Next, make sure the person you want to marry is fully surrendered to God! Anything less than full surrender is dangerous!
---Debby on 8/8/07

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