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Affair With My Ex-Fiance

I'm having an affair with my ex-fiance. After we broke up, we continued to see each other. Little did I know he was seeing someone else. He married her 2 months after we ended. 1 month later, he told me he still loved me. I believe he married her for the wrong reasons, what do I do?

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 ---Bobbie on 8/8/07
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This man is a fornicator and an adulterer...but so are you. What do you expect when you make bedfellows with sin? This man cannot be trusted, but then again, neither can you. It would seem to me that you both live your lives seeking your own desires and selfish pleasures all-the-while neglecting the Will of God and the Wisdom of His Holy Spirit.

What you should do is repent, ask The Almighty for forgiveness, and live your life according to God's Word and by Christ's example. If a member of your body causes you to sin...cut it off. You need to cut off this adulterous relationship before your walk with Christ is completely compromised. The Holy Spirit will not dwell with those who choose to live in sin.
---Higgins on 6/11/10

Don't even touch that fruit.
Change you phone number-cut that twig off your vine.
Continue living and waiting for God to move in your life. There is a beautiful mate out there for you, who God is conditioning just for you.
What ever you sow-you will reap.
Don't sow that seed,the fruit will be sour-move on.
---char on 6/11/10

there is only one answer to that, WALK AWAY!! He is married.
---a_friend on 5/17/10

Run away from him. In the first place he could have married you when you were still together. If he really loves you he won't put you in a situation wherein you're jeopardizing in losing your family.
Love does not rejoice in wrong. (1 Corinthians 10).
---Cee3788 on 5/17/10

Well he seems to be a man that can't be trusted,if you decide to pursure this relationship,you may get hurt more than you already have.Do you truly love him,or do you want to be with him because he has another woman.I believe a man should stick with one woman and even if he married her ,to God this relationship may not count because he was engaged to you first.If he just remained single for a while then he would not have made that mistake with this other woman.She may be his wife but she didnt have all of the facts when she married him.She should have all of the information too.God meant marriage for one man and woman.I hope things works out for all of you.But someone's heart will be broken.Pray for God's will in your life.
---Angela on 5/16/10

Bobbie, I wanted to also say that God could be using this very experience to draw YOU closer to relying on HIM. Sometimes we suffer for a period of time, but in the end, if you let HIM be big through this, HE will be all you need. No man will ever be able to replace what you will experience with GOD'S love. God Bless Sweety
---April on 9/6/07

It's not as black and white as these responses are making it sound! There is alot of pain surrounding this situation. While it's true that he's married someone else, this doesn't deny you both are experiencing the loss of one another. Those feelings are real. But because he did get married, his marriage needs to be honored before God. It's up to God whether they stay married. You have to break away to heal from this experience. Allow God to fill the needs that you long for your ex to fill.
---April on 9/6/07


He has chosen how to make his bed, now he has to lie in it.

If he choses to respect his marriage vows, then you can't have him.

If he choses NOT to respect his marriage vows, then what makes you think he'll respect any vows he makes to you later? In this case, you're better off without him.

Either way, you're not going to get him. Best to just move on, for both your sakes.
---Mark on 8/25/07

You could have bigger problems now besides adultery. You obviously do not fear God. There is a very good chance that you have been deceiving yourself and that you aren't even a Christian. I don't want you to burn in hell. So you better start repenting and bearing some fruit.
---jason on 8/11/07

You'll think messed up, if you don't stop this. The half has not been told what could happen to you, spiritually.
Do you know the Lord?
---Brad on 8/11/07

Bobbie: Are you a believer in Jesus Christ? Is He your Lord and Savior? If so, then you need to confess, repent and get back on track with your walk with Him. If not, you also need to confess, repent and accept Him as your Savior.

You are in direct disobedience to God's Word concerning adultery. You have a choice of being obedient or defying Him. He died a cruel horrible death so that you could have a loving relationship with God. Read 1 Corinthians 6.
---Trish9863 on 8/10/07

This is Bobbie. Yes, my ex-fiance and I are having an affair now, it started a month after he married. He and I had been together 4 years and had 3 wedding dates set, but something always stopped it. I believe he rushed off and married another because it was easier for him. He tells me almost every day that he misses me and loves me, but says he loves her as well. It has really messed me up.
---Bobbie on 8/10/07

Why do you want to be involved with a man that is a cheater, has no regard for the sanctity of marriage, disrepects his wife, treats you like the "other women", etc? Is that the kind of man that you desire? Please look at what a future with him would be like....if he commits adultery on her...why wouldn't he do the same with you? Maybe...he did just that when you were seeing him before!
---Annie on 8/10/07

Bobbie, you wrote, "I'm having an affair" > you mean NOW while he's married? For starters, it's simple: the adultery has to stop. And LOVE will not have you two betraying his wife, I offer. You are not loving each other while betraying her.

You can get free from him and become a moral person, AND become real in God's love so you can attract a genuinely loving man.
---Bill_bila5659 on 8/9/07

wrong reason or not, he is married...If they got married 2 months after he was with you, then he was probably seeing her when you was with him...He sounds like a cheater, let him go!
---a_good_friend on 8/9/07

Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but there is not much that you can do. You have already made your choice and he has made his. First thing i would suggest is that you stop having an affair with a married man, before things just get worse for the both of you. Chalk it up as a hard learning experience, and learn from it, and go on with your life ! I'm sure that there is another man out there waiting for you !
---tony on 8/9/07

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You have got to be kidding me. You don't know what to do? Ask any lost soul on the street and they can tell you what to do. You don't need to come to a "Christian Blog"
for this answer. Or since your here, read one of the other 30 or so blogs dealing with this issue.
---MissionSoldier on 8/8/07

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