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Husband Wants Pretty Women

My husband desires a prettier women and he left me many times seeking women. He recently told me that I was his security blanket that he no longer needed. I know he will be crying back as soon as she sees his true colors. Am I doing the right thing?

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 ---joanne on 8/9/07
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The funny thing, he's as homely as an old mud fence and dull. You wouldn't think anyone else would be interested.
It should give everyone else out there hope that anyone can find a husband or wife. Anyone, even homely old men can find a pretty woman.
---joanne on 1/6/08

No you are enabling him to sin over and over without paying his debt for that sin. Why should he not seek other women when you take him right back? You are throwing your life away on him. He left you,he must not be a believer,the Bible says if the unbeliever departs,let him go,your not under bondage to him. He broke the marriage contract. Get on with your life,immerse yourself in Christian activities and pray God sends a man who thinks you're the prettiest and best in the World.
---Darlene_1 on 8/30/07

i think that inner beauty is far better ,enhances outter beauty.Vainty is a sin it happens to be the devils favourite sin,he uses it to break us and make us think something is wrong with us.i say pray for your husband so that he may see the beauty inside and not lust after outer beauty .Beauty is a curse trust me on that one. ppl that lust after outter beauty miss out on something more rewarding and fullfiling most times.Don't be his security blanket or he will never learn to deal with his own issues.
---angel on 8/30/07

He deserves to be stoned. Get some rocks: hide them: when he sleeps, stone him. Every Muslim knows that, why not us too?
---Sergios on 8/26/07

He is commiting adultery of the heart time and time again. You have every Biblical right to divorce Him.
---Matthew_from_LA on 8/12/07

notlaw99 >>>

I see what your saying, I would agree only Joanne has stated that he stated that he is only using her as a security blanket. That is why I responded the way I did to your response.

Plus this man has an unfaithful heart, he's a jerk. Any man who marries a woman and finds that after couple of years she does'nt look the same and is shock by it is stupid.
---Marcia on 8/12/07

notlaw99 >>>

I have seen people who have gain weight, wrinkles, and lost hair after being together for years, tell me I am not the only one who has notice that we age with time, and that beauty fades, and that stupid people marry for looks because they don't realize that they are suppose to grow old together.

Smart people know that when you are in lust you don't marry, you should only marry when you know you are in love. Not Philos or eros but agape love.
---Marcia on 8/12/07

notlaw99 >>>

The sad thing about it is this Jerk deceived Joanne and caused her to waste the best years of her life with him, when she could have been with a man who would treat her the way she should be treated and love her unselfishly.
---Marcia on 8/12/07

Marcia, no one else has given her an operable action plan. If he still does not respond she can still dump him and get a divorce.

But some ladies after a few years let them selves go and make over might be what she need to do to save that marriage if she really feels it worth savings. When some one asks for help I try to give the operative solutions that can be implemented within their resources not useless platitudes which are so common On ChristiaNet Blog responses.
---notlaw99 on 8/11/07

So, you're asking if you're doing the right thing? That's the exact opposite! He's so unsatisfied that he has to break off his marriage to see other women? Wow. I tell you, if I were in that situation, I would realize that he is too caught up in himself, and he cannot grasp the feeling of real commitment and relationship. Don't stay home and think about him. Just remember that Christ is with you and he will never let you down, even in the saddest moments. :)
---Becca on 8/11/07


If this man cannot see past the flesh he's not worth having. Beauty is skin deep. This is the Woman he vowled to be with for the rest of his life, for better or worse, til death do them part. He has an unfaithful heart fixing herself up is not going to make him faithful to her. He is a womanizer who cannot stayed tied down to one Woman. She does not deserve to be disrepected like this.
---Marcia on 8/11/07

There is nothing like competition, invest in a major make over and see if you can get his attention back.
---notlaw99 on 8/11/07

I remember what that was like, I'm divorced now. My X would leave me every other weekend and come back after three or four days when he needed money and some place to stay. I let him follow that routine for several months but finally I realized that if I let him come back he was just going to leave again. Why put myself through that? Ultimately it's you who has to live with the decisions you make, is he worth it? Do you love him enough to hold on and pray that someday he'll appreciate you?
---Faith on 8/10/07

Personally I like Brad's answer, I agree. I do have compassion on her though because I was once the "doormat" or "revolving door" for my first husband while he flaunted his affair and got an old girlfriend pregnant--while we were engaged! It is hard when you're in love, to see straight.
---Mary on 8/10/07

Part 2: Just to clarify, yes, I actually married the man even after he admitted he got his old girlfriend pregnant while we were engaged--too bad there's not a bright red blushing emoticon I can use lol :D
---Mary on 8/10/07

My heart goes out to you. I would not put up with this man and his behavior any longer. I would pull the blanket from under his feet. I would no longer allow him to hurt me and use me the way he's using and abusing you. The coward is telling you to your face he no longer needs you honey. Please listen. No one respects a door mat.
---Robyn on 8/10/07

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The next time he wants to leave, let him go and DO NOT ACCEPT HIM BACK. If you do this, you have no sense at all, and are very, very foolish. If my husband done that to me, he wouldn't have a home to come back to. You are no one's doormat, and God did not put anyone on this earth to be used and abused.
---Rebecca_D on 8/10/07


Your husband has been ensnared by the World one our enemies that we are to fight against (World, flesh, Satan).
---Marcia on 8/10/07


1Jo 2:15 Love not the world, neither the things [that are] in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

1Jo 2:16 For all that [is] in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

---Marcia on 8/10/07


1Jo 2:17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

It is like your husband is a rat on a treadmill trying to get the cheese and every time he thinks he's gotten it slips away.

The lust of the eye will pass away, beauty fades, but Character is for eternity.

I don't know what you mean by doing the right thing though, but I hope this helps...
---Marcia on 8/10/07

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Your husband is an adulterer. You should get on with life and let him get on with his adultery. He will face his Maker soon enough and have to give an answer for himself. You should follow the advice on divorce in the New Testament. Your husband is a cruel man.
---Ang on 8/10/07

It's a tough position to be in. But, God does release a person from marriage when adultry has occured. I once heard a minister say forgive the adultress once if it happens again move on. Pray about it.

---joy9988 on 8/10/07

Easy for you to say, Jack, you've never been married.
For this woman to let him swing back by whenever he pleases, he might bring something home that would cause harm to her health. I don't exactly see that as a reward for good behavior.
---Brad on 8/10/07

It might be acceptable for Ortho's to turn a blind eye for adultery, but would you please provide Book, Chapter, Verse validating that it's alright to suffer with a man that commits adultery to the third degree? If the heartache doesn't get her, a disease might.
---Danny on 8/10/07

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I think that God will reward you for your patience, faithfulness, and long-suffering. Great will be your reward in heaven.
---Jack on 8/10/07

This is very sad.
If he does this repeatedly, I don't see how you can trust him, or welcome him back.
But, to answer your question, what are you doing?
---alan_of_UK on 8/10/07

Oh, what a temptation to look down on someone!!! But he could be me. I can get into a woman's looks, instead of really loving her. So, I do not consider myself to be one who would be faithful emotionally. I need to get real with God, and see who I attract by being humble and loving ALL people, and being moral emotionally and not just in my behavior.
---Bill_bila5659 on 8/9/07

It does seem as if your husband is calling the shots, do you really have a say in the matter? Doing the right thing, by letting him walk out the door?
You're going to take him back, after he has his fill of those pretty women, is that what you mean?
You're going to be the carpet he walks on, while he goes in out of your life like a swinging door? A doormat?
---Brad on 8/9/07

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What are you doing? Taking him back? I think you are foolish to take him back time and time again after his flings.
---Trish9863 on 8/9/07

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