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Marrying A Non-Believer

My sister, a believer, is about to marry a non believer. They have been dating for 3 years and he has yet to come to church with her other than for special occasions. She is holding out hope for him. Any thoughts?

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 ---Mary on 8/24/07
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Maybe you can both take up a shared hobby. That way you will have something in common and the religious difference won't matter so much. For example, scuba diving, bowling, swing dancing, etc. Hope this helps.
---Zacariah on 8/7/09

Maybe you can both take up a shared hobby. That way you will have something in common and the religious difference won't matter so much. For example, scuba diving, bowling, swing dancing, etc. Hope this helps.
---Zachariah on 8/7/09

The big difference is you we already willing to appreciate that there could possibly be a God and followed attentively until you got saved what is dangerous about your testimony is that you speak as a success story which could possibly encourage peopl but the negative out comes surrounding people who are suffering in such relationships Far out weigh the bitterness and hurt following theses sort of marriages. I would say you were a potential believer and with that fact you are bound have success.
---Carla3939 on 10/9/08

I was a non-believer until i met my beautiful girlfriend. We came to the crossroads and i told her that i couldn't gaurantee that i would become a believer but would find out more about it. Sometime later after going to church more regularly, studying up on it, and attending hillsong i started believing and was saved. I know this doesn't always work and i guess not everyone is as open-minded as i was, however don't be afraid to tell the non believer how it is and stay strong in what you believe. Thanks to my girlfriend's persistance i know God. Also, the senior pastor and youth pastor of my church found God this way also, so if we don't persist with someone we could possibly be neglecting a great opportunity for God to use us as an influencer!
---Matt on 10/8/08

If any brother has a wife whos not a believer & she is willing to live with him he must not divorce her.If a woman has a husband who isn't a believer & he is willing to live with her she must not divorce him.The unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife & the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they're holy.But if the unbeliever leaves let him do so. I Corinthians 7:12-15
---Beth on 10/22/07

It's difficult to give up someone when you're emotionally attached to them. She wants a bit of both worlds. I know lots of women like her who just want to be married. There are more single women at church than there are men and it's tough waiting on God. The choices we make today will affect our future. We reap what we sow. Some people just want to be happy for the moment but God calls us to take up our cross and give up the things in the world. Not every Christian is willing to do that.
---Wendy on 10/22/07

All your sister needs to know is that this man is on his best behavior

When she marries him what she is really saying is I put my seal of approval on you and all that you are and that is exactly what she will get.

She can never expect her husband to be a christian role model to her children.

She can never expect this unsaved man to act as if he is saved

And for all those who do wed the unsaved and make their lives a hell over these things it is they who sin not the unsaved.
---Richard on 10/16/07

1 Peter 3:1-2 (A better rendering) Likewise wives willing place yourselves under, your husbands, be devoted to and make your husband your pursuit, and dwell under their rule and influence. And if your husbands impulses, his plans, and purposes are in an opposition to the teachings of word of God, know that such men can be drawn to Christ by your making yourself to be their servant, and using all your skills to your husbands gain and profitableness, along with you joyously dancing about your husband
---Richard on 10/16/07

(I Peter Continued)as you crown him as your lord and master. And he shall behold and prove your newfound devotion in Christ by your observing in Christian chastity his rulership as the true head of the household, and observing your new found fidelity as you guard yourself against your former emotional affairs with believers and nonbelievers. And he will behold in wonder your newfound joyousness in dancing about him coupled with your new found fear and reverence of him.
---Richard on 10/16/07

Pray for your sister. Lord knows she need prayer. I married an unbeliever and went through hell. October 1 is 8 years. I married this man although I was warned by God not to. God word tell us that we should not be unequally yoked- this includes marriage, friendship, business partners, etc. If God did not want animals that were not alike plowing together, how much more his children. If she marries this man it is as though she is saying yes I love sin and I want to make the emeny ruler of my life.
---Yvonne on 10/15/07

Just as the bible says..that the husband is to love his wife as christ loves the church. If he hasn't accepted christ then that marriage will be unevenly yoked and she doesn't need to experience that. Please tell her to wait on the Lord to have her boyfriend born-again before she marry him. God bless!
---Monica on 9/20/07

2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

My dad always said you can't change the spots on the leopard.
---denna7667 on 9/7/07

My father is a strong Christian and actually I was the one getting upset not he. He called me about something else and I told him I thought he should have told her it was wrong that her and her boyfriend were going to Disneyland for a week (even though my dad believed they were not sleeping together). I told him I didn't think they were right for each other and he disagreed with me. He was actually quite calm when talking about it but I was not I'm sorry to say
---mary on 9/2/07

One thought....Tell her to RUNNNNNNN. :-) I've seen too many disasters in that area of relationships, and prayed with too many whose hearts and lives shipwrecked, in part, from the lack of harmony that comes. Blending together two lives, personalities, destinies and callings can be enough of a challenge to try to start things with two people already pulled two different directions in life.
---Deborah on 9/2/07

Well, there are times when God has had someone know something, in spite of how others were so sure the person was wrong. How is your father's track record about getting the right feeling about personal issues?

But the guy must prove, before marriage, that he has become ready to function as her Christian head. Test before you trust. Even if a man wants to be just CONSIDERED to be ordained to care for God's people, he must provide proof that he can perform (1 Timothy 3:1-10). So must her boyfriend.
---Bill_bila5659 on 9/1/07

Mary, you say your father is a strong Christian and had a huge argument with you > "Do all things without complaining and disputing," (Philippians 2:14) Being strong includes being able to stay out of disputing > "And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, " (2 Timothy 2:24) > so, IF he was quarrelsome and maybe overbearing, this is NOT strong, and can be proof he is wrong, somehow.
---Bill_bila5659 on 9/1/07

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She's wasting her time and should move on. If he has shown no interest in church in 3 years, he won't show it after marriage. (This reads like it's harsh, but in 35 years in full-time Christian work either as a Youth Minister and later as a missionary, have only once seen this work out once, but in this case he was at least willing to attend church.)
---wivv on 9/1/07

She is sinning against God becuae God tells us in 2 Cor 6:14 not to be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever. One can hope all thye want but to disobedience to God is sin. Are we smarter than God Almighty? I am not judging her but may not be saved like her husband to be.
---Ed_from_IL on 8/31/07

Carla I like what you wrote. That is very effective. Thanks everyone else for your comments whether they were helpful or not.
---Mary on 8/31/07

If she marries satans son she will almost definately Get introuble with the FATHER inLAW! satan :(
---Carla5754 on 8/31/07

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Some call it 'missionary dating'. The christian dates the non-Christian with the absolute assurance that they can 'save' the other person. It happens only rarely. The verse about being unequally yoked doesn't even mention marriage. It means in all things. Don't start a business partnership, don't start dating etc. with a non-believer. It's easier to pull someone off a table than for someone on a table to pull you up onto one and unbelievers usually drag the believer down to their level.
---RitaH on 8/25/07

Three years of dating makes those two quite equally joked to say
the least. The longevity of the relationship points very strongly to
them being "equally pleased" to be together. I am with the Dad
on the issue. Have anybody ever seen unequally joked believers?
I have.
---Nana on 8/25/07

Hi mary, one thing that I do know is that you cannot change anyone. Only God can. As stated in a previous post, we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Have you tried talking to her about this? Please if you have not, then I would encourage you to. She will be miserable if she marries this man later on down the road. But most of all, keep her in Prayer, and the man as well. There is Power in Prayer. God Bless.
---Cynthia on 8/24/07

Hi, this is Mary again. I didn't mean she is engaged, but she is close to being engaged I believe. She thinks he is going to be saved through her. My Dad who is a strong Christian also thinks she can bring him to the Lord. I got into a huge argument with him about it. Am I crazy?
---Mary on 8/24/07

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I have a Christian friend who was saved when she married a non-Christian. After 43 years in an unequally yoked marriage her message would be DON'T DO IT. She admitted to me some years ago that she had been disobedient and is suffering the consequences.
---RitaH on 8/24/07

Your sister is about to marry an unbeliever.
End of story.
It won't be easy or pleasant for her.
---Brad on 8/24/07

The Bible says not to be unequally yoked. If a person is an unbeliever, and marries an unbeliever, it will be so difficult. I have seen it in many marriages. The unbeliever will influence the believer, causing that person's walk with God to falter at times, questioning that person's beliefs.
Besides, after I was first saved, I dated a non-Christian and am so glad I never married him. His ideas of morality were so different that it caused my walk with God to be bad.
---Helen on 8/24/07

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