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Brother Not Speaking To Me

Since my father passed away 2 years ago my brother has not spoken to me. I am caring for our mother, whom he is angry with too. We miss and love him. He's a christian, but he will not forgive us for a stupid misunderstanding. Our family was close. I need wisdom. I am hurting.

Moderator - What was the misunderstanding or he blaming God for his father dying?

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 ---Michael on 8/29/07
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Hello, Shira4368, Good hear fr you, I too, got terrible back pain, it comes & goes, asthma, too! I am doing good consider how others, are one lady I always mention Barbara really needs prayer Cancer in her head area, she was such an inspiration to me.She has been fightn over 15 yrs.She is refusing Chemo, same as me.
Love of Jesus! I am.doing fine far as that goes..
---Elena_9555 on 12/13/14

Thanks Elena. God puts people in our lives for a reason. You are very dear to me and always will be. How is your health going? I'm having back surgery in jan. Dr wanted to wait til after the holidays. My hand is healing very well. This cast is running me nuts lol love you in Christ.
---shira4368 on 12/13/14

Hello,Shira4368,Sure do thank God you came into my life, do not have my own family..I miss them, so much and I know in my heart Cnt & all my friends,brothers & sisters .
God desires we love one another
We all got different culures, but the God we love & serve is still the same.
Love of Jesus!
---Elena_9555 on 12/8/14

Heavenly Father,Bless all the hardwrk people (Moderators) at CNT.we got to be gratefull, thankGod thanks Giving Someone came with a plate of food good southern down home food.
It was a beautifull gesture.Please help, too O God the people who got put out.They need the Lord lik me or anyone, They on drugs but Jesus CAN fix it.Turn them through a supernatural eexperience, Love, prayer shall be their portion IJN.
---Elena_9555 on 12/1/14

I am sorry to hear of your plight. Your brother is a Christian. Are you and your mother Christians, as well? Perhaps you can share a scripture with him on forgiveness and be willing to take the first step to that end. He may come around. We as Christians should not carry unresolved anger around with us. We need to quickly confess our sins, so we can get back in fellowship with Christ and with others. We cannot rightfully go to Christ asking His foriveness for our sins and we refuse to forgive others.
---Robyn on 6/14/08

Funerals and weddings make for more family problems - when we need each other the most.

Its probable that it would just cost to much pride for him to make a move - you could try a gentle confrontation.
Or a letter to his pastor about a desire to reconcile, which does not put blame on him - let him save face. One of the most destructive emotions humans have is pride.

I always figure if they need to save face - they just need that - let them. Be blessed.
---Andrea on 9/7/07

Unfortunately deaths seem to at times bring out the worst in people.

Continue to lift him up in prayer and ask Holy Spirit to come into his heart and heal his anger. As long as you have reached out to him and ask for forgiveness for anything you have done you have done everything you can do but continue in prayer for him.
---denna7667 on 9/7/07

The reason was - he was angry other relatives did not come to the funeral. I wanted to let things cool a bit, he wanted to rage against them. It wasnt the right time for that. He feels I abandoned him. I have reached out so much to him since, but he will not have it - please pray for me. I miss my brother so much.
---Michael on 9/7/07

The moderator is correct. Your brother may be mad at God, and you and your mother are just his "whipping post". Regardless of his reason, all you can do at this point is pray for him. (It really works - I've witnessed it.) Until he is ready to acknowledge his sin, it will eat him alive, (literally), through physical illness. Just make sure you are willing for him to come to you, and not be superior with, "I told you so" attitude.
---wivv on 9/1/07

Your situation touches me because we have the same thing going on in our family. My brother has not spoken to our mother for over 4 years. Unfortunately, he and his wife are unsaved. Mom is also stubborn and wants to hash it out with them, instead of just moving on (they have said that they will talk to her, but they don't want to discuss the original argument - she is unwilling to let it go.) I have prayed, but so far - things are staying the same. She has a granddaughter who doesn't even know her.
---melissa on 8/30/07

We also had this happen with other family members. My cousin had nothing to do with his parents for five years. He got married and they didn't meet his wife. Finally, this summer he brought his wife home and we had a wonderful family reunion in a mountain cabin. He is still a little reserved with my aunt and uncle, but they are in contact now. Keep praying, dear, and it will eventually work out! Pray for my mom and brother as well, please!
---melissa on 8/30/07

Thats so sad. I guess the "stupid misunderstanding" wasn't so "stupid" in his opinion. Sounds like he is still angry. Sometimes people can forgive but still will not associate. This misunderstanding needs to be taken very seriously and some type of amends must be made if he was hurt. Not knowing what happened,makes it difficult to respond,but I am looking at it from his point of view as a christian man. If you want him back,I just feel that he needs to be taken very seriously.:)
---jody on 8/30/07

I know the feeling. Except my brother appears not to be a Christian, I don't know his heart. but as for your brother since he has an odd against you and your mom, he is the one that has the problem, not you. God won't forgive him unless he forgives others. He needs wisdom, closer. If you've tried talking to him, and he doesn't respong turn it over to God and let God deal with him.
---Rebecca_D on 8/29/07

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