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Date Once Divorced

Can you date someone once their divorce papers are signed?

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 ---David on 8/31/07
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I understand your fervor on this matter and I am in full agreement as
to the laying of a strong foundation before marriage. Even people
previously divorced do not wish the same for their children. Much
work ahead for those working this area of divorce and the Family
Unit. Be Blessed Lorra.
---Nana on 10/2/07

Nana, very nicely said. In my Church we have a similar saying just before communion "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed".

I do speak strongly in this matter, because I hope that all Christians will learn to pay more attention to their marriages, especially before getting married.

I come from a large family where divorce is extremely rare and marriages are beautifully solid. I want all to have that.
---lorra8574 on 10/2/07

Jesus always set the bar really high. Who could attain the goal?
In the same Matthew 19 he declares who will in certain terms,
"All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is
given." And "He that is able to receive it, let him receive it."
---Nana on 10/2/07

We have learnt that with God nothing is impossible. Because
someone has not received the saying, it necessarily does not
mean that they are excluded from all hope to which we all look
to attain. For me and for my fellow man I only wish that each
day we raise with a new hope and a new desire that if in
yesterdays we had done that which we should not have done,
that this day be the one in which we perhaps mend our ways.
---Nana on 10/2/07

At times we get too stringent and adamant with our
"understandings" and we may seem to give the impression that
we are above others. This is the reason that an elder's tradition
in some circles of vocalizing our unworthiness has been
established. Before receiving Communion some say: "Lord, I
am not worthy that thou shouldst come under my roof: But
speak the word only and my soul shall be healed".
---Nana on 10/2/07

Mark 11:25: "And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have
ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may
forgive you your trespasses." On the subject of forgiveness, the
apostles also had difficulty as we all should know that we have...
In Luke 17, the apostles seeing the difficulty of the Lord's
command "...thou shalt forgive him.", they asked the Lord
"Increase our faith". Did they get their request?
---Nana on 10/2/07

Who is perfect around here? Matthew 5: 48: Be ye therefore
perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. If
it were not for Gods mercy, none of us would have a chance
for even our Lord Jesus said, Why callest thou me good?
and but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.
We keep as best we can and set our sight as high as Jesus set
the mark but in the end we count on Gods mercy.
---Nana on 10/2/07

If someone remarried honestly and truly believing that they were free to do so, that is one thing. But for someone else to claim that the Bible teaches that this is ok is very wrong. The person who causes another to sin by misrepresenting the scriptures risks eternal damnation.
---lorra8574 on 10/1/07

It is surprising that on a predominantly Christian continant that we should have so many pagans. Is no one raised Christian any more that so many should claim that their former marriages occurred before they were "saved"?

There are grounds for annulment that God may consider, and so I cannot stand in judgement of anyone. But I also cannot in good conscience advocate the commission of what the Bible clearly states is a sin.
---lorra8574 on 10/1/07

Here is something to consider, in Matthew 19 we have the famous "pornea" clause which gives the only exception for divoce (but makes no provision for remarriage), however, immediately following that clause we have verses 10-11. The Apostles were so horrified at the severity of what Christ said that they wondered if it would be better to not marry at all. Jesus acknowledged the difficulty and said that not everyone can follow this vocation.
---lorra8574 on 10/1/07

Christian Marriage is not like pagan or civil marriages. In a Christian marriage, we have a sacrament fulfilled by the two parties and joined together for life by God (Matthew 19:6). It is intended to be indisoluable.

The Jews had trouble with this and so Moses (not God, but with the authority that God had given him) allowed for a bill of divorce. But we are not Jews, and with Jesus we can do everything that God expects of us.
---lorra8574 on 10/1/07

Of course under the circumstances some of you described, each individual situation has to be examined. With abuse, there are grounds for divorce, but you guys are missing what I am saying. I am talking about a person who does not have Biblical grounds, but divorces anyway. He or she recognizes their failures and truly repents. Now, they have been forgiven, so how are they sinning in remarriage, as God has already forgiven them for their sin?
---Bob on 10/1/07

Alan, she did not sin by divorcing such a man. In fact she did right in my book. But that does not alter the fact that the scriptures do not make provision for remarriage after divorce. However, in her case, it sounds like the husband may have married under false pretenses and therefore the original marriage may not be valid from a legal or religious standpoint. In the RCC, she would have grounds for an annulment and therefore would be free to marry.
---lorra8574 on 10/1/07

Mara, that marriage was not legal. Of course if it was consummated then there may be a problem = tricky situation.

Now pagan marriages are not viewed the same way as covenantal marriages (those entered into by Christians). The woman at the well was married multiple times and was currently living with a man without marriage, Jesus did not condemn her. But, when the NT speaks of the prohibition against divorce and remarriage, it concerns marriage with at least one believer.
---lorra8574 on 10/1/07

Bob and Nana, divorce under certain circumstances is not necessarily a sin, it is remarriage after divorce, that is the sin. And forgiveness requires repentence. You can easily be forgiven for the divorce, but that is not a license to commit the true sin which is remarriage to another person who was not your original spouse.
---lorra8574 on 9/28/07

Bob, the divorce may be perfectly reasonable - God does not want a person to be murdered by their spouse or risk the lives of their children. And if a person made a mistake and repents - of course God forgives. But remarriage after divorce is THE serious sin and there is no Biblical support for this.

Your view suggests that if I repent of a minor sin of lying to my parents, I am then free to go out and commit fraud and bilk my neighbours out of millions.
---lorra8574 on 9/28/07

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There is a man that got married just for citizenship papers, legally married. Then, he became Christian. Time passed and felt in love with a Christian lady. He got divorced and then married the Christian lady. Today God uses him in prophesying, healing, and preaching the Word of God. Might we condemn him? If God, knowing his past and present life, uses him for his kingdom, I would ever say that he is a sinner neither he would not go to heaven.
---Mara on 9/28/07

Bob ... I know a woman who had three daughters.
She discovered that her husband (the father of the three girls) was sexually abusing all of them, and had raped the eldest whilst she was still under 10.
So she sinned when she divorced him?
---alan_of_UK on 9/28/07

I believe that if a person divorces his/her spouse, of course it is sin and there will be consequences. Motive is huge, the condition of your heart and life is huge. If the individual seeks true repentance for their failures in the marriage and the divorce, I believe God will forgive based on what scripture teaches and they are free to remarry in the Lord. This is NOT an endorsement for divorce, it is an endorsement to get your life right with God before you do anything.
---Bob on 9/28/07

lorra8574, (1)
""""....where did you get the idea that you can commit sin while under grace
relying upon the assumption what God would forgive the sin you just willfully
committed against His wishes?"""
---lorra8574 on 9/3/07
I agree and that is exactly my point! Jesus spoke on account of the men
putting away their wives as if it were "casually". There are many other
warrants for divorce as there are sins on the earth. What then?
---Nana on 9/28/07

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lorra8574, (2)
Matthew 18 on dealing with our brother gives us a clue.
Since you bring up I Corinthians, I say that a man or woman may put away
for reason of blasphemy, for it is not too well "pleased to dwell" with us one
who blaphemes our God. Suppose a man divorced according to the
commandment and he kept the kids. Now suppose his new wife insists on disciplining the children by wipping them with "barb-wire", no doubt grounds
for divorce.
---Nana on 9/28/07

lorra8574, (3)
Or take a man who like clockwork slams his wife on the ground daily! I have
said "warrants for divorce as there are sins on the earth" and look at what
God said: Jeremiah 3:8: "And I saw, when for all the causes whereby
backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill
of divorce, yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played
the harlot also."
---Nana on 9/28/07

lorra8574, (4)
So then it is that much a tought should evoke what God means when he
speaks of adultery!
---Nana on 9/28/07

Nana, see Matthew 5:32 and 19:10, Mark 10:11, 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, 39. Note that there is a provision for divorce in the case of fornication (not to be confused with adultery), but NO provision for remarriage after divorce. Neither Mark nor Paul allow for any such thing. Paul ONLY allows for a divorced couple to reconcile with each other.

In the Catholic Church annulments are supposed to be based upon whether the legal requirements for marriage have been met or not.
---lorra8574 on 9/27/07

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Unless there has been a problem with adultry or one of the partners is a non-Christian and leaves, there is no such thing as divorce in the eyes of God. Other than those two cases, people remain married until death. The question of dating is mute and the answer is no the person is not free until the partner dies.
---splaa6685 on 9/27/07

I would certainly hope so. I am in the process of being divorced and don't see any possibility of being reconciled to my husband nor do I plan to stay single the rest of my life. I think as long as their Christian and walking close to God you can date them.
---Dawn5953 on 9/27/07

You've always been allowed to socialize.
---Andrea on 9/5/07

Civil divorce may give you independence in civil legal matters (banking,contracts,etc) but it can never be seen as breaking the bond of two becoming one flesh. You may not date. That would be adultary. Maybe an anullment could be declared by the Catholic Church meaning you were not actually ever married. They have power to bind and loose giving you true justice in this matter.
---steve on 9/5/07

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"...but under the New Covenant, Jesus says that we may NOT."
---lorra8574 on 9/3/07
Where is that stated as such, Lorra?
---Nana on 9/5/07

Rebecca_D, need I remind you that under the Old Law, one could divorce and remarry, but under the New Covenant, Jesus says that we may NOT. Now that we are under grace, higher standards are placed upon us. This is not about forgiveness for the divorce, where did you get the idea that you can commit sin while under grace relying upon the assumption what God would forgive the sin you just willfully committed against His wishes? One of the marks of a true Christian is obedience to the Lord.
---lorra8574 on 9/3/07

Rebecca_D, the only saving grace for many people who divorce and remarry is that they were often not sufficiently taught with respect to the scriptures and therefore can claim ignorance of God's will. That would not work in a court of Law, but God's mercy is not bound by human precepts.
---lorra8574 on 9/3/07

I would not. Alot of circumstances to consider. You know what I am saying, according to the Bible. Still.
---catherine on 9/3/07

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While you may be free to date after the divorce is final, it may not be advisable. I people wait a few years to heal from the bad marriage and search out what behaviors and personality traits they have that contributed to the divorce.
---Trish9863 on 9/3/07

The person may be legally available. But if selfish ways of the person's personality helped contribute to the divorce, these selfish ways may also still be available.
---Bill_bila5659 on 8/31/07

Yes. We are no longer the old law. (unless your a sinner, then your under the law and not under grace).
---Rebecca_D on 8/31/07

U cannot date until the divorce is final
The papers are signed but u have to wait until it is final because u are still legally married until the divorce is final. Once the divorce is final u are free to date!. I hope this helps.
---FAITH on 8/31/07

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