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Coworker Has A Critical Spirit

I have a coworker that has a very critical spirit. I have been there 20 years and have certain priviledges that she doesn't. She has gotten all my coworkers to turn against me because of her lies. What can I do?

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 ---Paula on 9/17/07
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Going back to the original question - I'd say that this worker is dishonest - in other words, a liar. I don't know where critical spirit comes into this.

This person should have been reported to management when the problems began and the problem might have been resolved quickly instead of this Q turning into a six year argument between Christians who were not there and are now aggressively discussing subjects totally unrelated to the Q.

We are too quick to call things something that they are not.
---Rita_H on 7/20/13

Hello,Nikki - this lidia4796..oh,No I was not upset with you or no one, just relating I been thru the same thing.I have never understood hate or racism, my family was all mix, in short it is fear,ignorance,etc
I am shock at the way even the News ask me,because I do not like even to answer those type questions but on CNT, I try to be respectfull, none of
us will be perfect like they say long as we in these bodies, just was agree with you all. Love of Jesus! I do not write english good ha!ha! I always think in Spanish..smiles...
---lidia4796 on 7/20/13

Hello Lidia, I am an Black Hispanic as well. My dad is from Puerto Rico and my mother is from Alabama.

I know the feeling. Many from both races didn't accept me either.

But, I don't think MarkV meant any thing wrong. He is just saying how it is.
Please explain what in his post you were upset about.
Or was it my post you were upset with?
---Nikki on 7/19/13

Wow! Bro.Mark, that horrible that is wrong! you got "crazy,males or females!" sorry, but yes! News sent me poll Hispanic,Black,or White Who most racist?" I got to agree with you, in my life has been Hispanics & Black
( I am also,both) I have been beat up by Hispanics the church's they mean hispanic and black people. I do not hardly talk to no one, very carefull with people NOW! I have been harassed by both men and women in the Spanish church's & in the Black church's they let me know I will never be accepted. people are still thinking all kinds of weird stuff from the mariel people most came Cuba's from the prisons,etc.. I am a peacefull person, happy be alive ..
---lidia4796 on 7/19/13

Mark_V, you are right, women think it isn't sexual harassment because they are not men.
Black or Hispanic people don't think they can be a racist because they are not white.

We all have to admit we are CAPABLE of being the other when given the chance.
---Nikki on 6/8/13

Nikki, many woman get mad if someone says anything negative about woman. I can see you do not. You do not demand political correctness. That is good. For you look at things with an open mind. When you said,
"I rather work with a group of male nurses myself.
Except when they are harassing me."

you reminded me of when I worked in a cannery as a young man, I had to work with nothing but woman all day long carrying boxes of pears to their area and every time I went by they would grap my behind, the more I tried to get away, the more they did it. And they all would just laugh. I guess all together they get real brave and have a good time about it.
---Mark_V. on 6/8/13

Well, NurseRoberts, of all the people who responded to my post about working with women you are the only one who disagreed. Even the women agreed with me. So again I say, you are more concerned about attacking me for not being politically correct than the actual truth itself.

Seeing that you actually work in a profession dominated by women (and a few women-like men), you likely wouldn't have much basis for comparing female coworkers to male coworkers. I on the other hand have spent my life working with both female and male coworkers alike and am therefore far more qualified than you to comment on the difference in attitude of male and female workers.
---Jed on 4/5/13

James 1:26 fits you well..
---NurseRobert on 4/4/13

And Matthew 9:32 fits you well:

"And they brought to him a dumb man possessed with a devil"
---Jed on 4/5/13

As a male working in nursing for over 30 years and find these statements patently untrue, but come to expect this kind of statement from Jed..
---NurseRobert on 4/4/13

As a woman working in a nursing for 19 years, I hate to say it, but Jed is CORRECT!

I might not use the words as Jed, but he is right in that women can be vicious for the smallest things. (from experience)
I rather work with male nurses.

Popular sayings are said because they are usually true.

'Men are pigs.' more ways than one.
'When Momma not happy, no one is happy'
'Hell knows no fury like a woman scorned.'
---Nikki on 4/5/13

Jed, coming home from work tonight I was thinking about what kind of response I would get from you and I was exactly right. The winger buzz word, political correctness.

You call yourself a Christian, then come up with this kind of description of women. James 1:26 fits you well..
---NurseRobert on 4/4/13

What a misogynistic statement.

As a male working in nursing for over 30 years and find these statements patently untrue, but come to expect this kind of statement from Jed..
---NurseRobert on 4/4/13

What's wrong NurseRoberts, you prefer political correctness over truth as usual? No surprise you ignore simple facts in the interest of not offending someone. Someone please go get NurseRobert's pacifier and stop his crying.
---Jed on 4/4/13

Paula, that's called working with women. Women are hormonal witches with attitude problems.
---Jed on 4/2/13

What a misogynistic statement.

As a male working in nursing for over 30 years and find these statements patently untrue, but come to expect this kind of statement from Jed..
---NurseRobert on 4/4/13

Jed, you are right. One habit I see all the time is that when another women walks by, other women always check them out from head to toe---Mark_V. on 4/3/13

Yes, this is true. But, men check them out from head to toe for another reason.

The other points you made were basically true.
I rather work with a group of male nurses myself.
Except when they are harassing me.
Now I know why everyone has to watch sexual harassment videos yearly.
Men can't keep focus on their work if they feel an attraction.
---Nikki on 4/3/13

Jed, you are right. One habit I see all the time is that when another women walks by, other women always check them out from head to toe. They also gossip more about other women the man. On the other hand, man work real good with women. Man always want to please the girls to even doing some of their work for them. I remember when I worked at Ford Motor Company, and they hired the first women there, many guys were so happy, that they would even help them with their work just to make points. The women loved that. Guys always trying to be nice to women. Now guys can work very well with other guys, but they don't normally do their work.
---Mark_V. on 4/3/13

jed, I agree with you. I have worked for men and women and women are very hard to work for.I don't know why that is so but it is. my experience has been the guy is laid back and the women are spastic. lol
---shira4368 on 4/2/13

Paula, that's called working with women. Women are hormonal witches with attitude problems. I hear they are even more venomous toward other female coworkers than they are to their male coworkers.
---Jed on 4/2/13

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it takes a special person to be a nurse.--shira4368 on 3/31/13

Esp an ER Nurse.
That's a battle zone. God bless her.
---Nikki on 3/31/13

my daughter in law is an r.n. I know what she goes thru daily. she works in the er in a small town close to where I live. it takes a special person to be a nurse.
---shira4368 on 3/31/13

Shira4368, I am so sorry for the hospital experience you had.
It is true that a nurse can't give medication without a doctor's order, but all the nurse has to do is called the doctor.
Letting your b/p stay high was very dangerous. If you were my patient I would have asked the doctor why he wasn't treating your b/p? For every few cases they want the b/p slight elevated.
Then I would have explained it to you.

Communication is the key!

The nurse is suppose to be on your side. Making sure you get the care the doctor prescribes, but also watching the doctor with a level of respect.
---Nikki on 3/30/13

James, I believe Nikki is correct. Maybe the word she used is incorrect (demanding) but a better word would have been "expecting" them to do their job. It is unfair for others to do the job of someone who is not doing their job and getting paid while you do their job also. Many times this things happen at work. Some union jobs are that way. In a communist country, everyone gets the same pay, quality goes down, because many are not doing their job and still getting paid. A Russian air condition man who worked with me told me about where he worked and how many did not do their jobs and still got paid while others were doing their jobs.
---Mark_V. on 3/30/13

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nikki, I agree with you. you have a tough job. when others don't pull their weight, it is hard on the patients who may be suffering from intense pain.I was hospitalized once and my blood pressure went sky high. it scared me to death. they wouldn't give me anything to lower it. I could ring the buzzer all day and no one would come. bad experience. I do understand meds can't be given without a drs orders. they had a list of my meds I had given them when I was admitted.
---shira4368 on 3/29/13

Nikki: 'demanding others to do their work they promised to do'

Are you their superior? If you are not, then it is not your job to demand that--James on 3/27/13

I'm a nurse. We work as a team. If one refuses to feed or medicate a patient, I can't leave that patient saying - "Tough luck buddy, you not my patient."
We have a saying 'All the patients are your patients.'
But, I can't take care of 20 patient by myself. Esp if they hired 5 other Nurses who promised to help me.

Unless they are going to give me their paycheck for taking care of their patients, then I am DEMANDING them to work.
---Nikki on 3/27/13

Nikki: 'demanding others to do their work they promised to do'

Are you their superior? If you are not, then it is not your job to demand that
---James on 3/27/13

You can win the lottery and move on.
---Born on 3/26/13

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Allie how TRUE is your statement! Been there and lived through it. Just doing your work and demanding others to do their work they promised to do for their paycheck will cause ENEMIES for you.

There are people who truly go to work not planning to work.
If you interfere with their plans they will crucify you at every chance they have until you leave them alone as they wish to be left alone.
Plus, there are people who don't plan to work, and get mad if you do your work because it reveals their lack of work.
---Nikki on 3/26/13

You would think after 20 years a new person could not cause you trouble, but some people are good at manipulation and the self-pity person has a way with people.My co-worker has twisted things I have said about a co-worker and she even talked bad about them and told them I was talking about them and why? Because I asked her to get work done on time so I can turn in my reports. She likes to talk and visit the after noon instead of doing paper work. So, it is possible for people to make co-workers mad at you for nothing after working with them for a long time, believe me , I know, and for some reason some people are more willing to believe it than not.
---Allie on 3/22/13

Perhaps you should begin with the person in the mirror, or as Jesus states it, take the log out of your own eye. People don't just turn on other people without some extenuating circumstances. Perhaps she feels you brag or flaunt the priviledges you have. ALL of your coworkers would not turn against you, if SHE were the one who was all wrong. Examine what you are doing to turn your coworkers against you. Have you tried being nice to this person, helping her to fit in. By your statement "I've been there 20 years" it sounds as though you are trying to elevate yourself at her expense. Try, instead, showing her you welcome her and are willing to help her fit in. You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.
---Dawn on 7/31/10

Forgive her! pray for her! be nice to her!
---Willow on 10/4/07

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Where I've been only 16 months, having similar situation. Toughest in 40 years. Manager won't identify criticizers, refused request to set up meetings to reconcile whatever's problem, if really existing. Holy Spirit reminds me to keep eyes on Jesus and His cross and and to bless those who curse me and pray for those who mistreat me. And be light, not darkness. All easier said than done but what else to do? Still growing, learning more about grace, mercy, forgiveness. Thanks to and praise God.
---Charlie on 9/23/07

A speaker I listened to a week ago, at a graduation I attended, said over 70% of people we meet, have negative and critical spirits. I am sure that percentage included Christians,too. My heart goes out to you. A tough situation,indeed. If you try to defend yourself, they label you a troublemaker,liar and other ill names.I have been there. It is especially tough on Christians.How many more yrs for your retirement? You won't have to endure this type treatment anymore.
---Robyn on 9/21/07

After 20 yrs, I would think that you would have established a good relationship with your coworkers... coworkers don't suddenly turn against a worker just because a newbie starts citizing and lying...
Have you examined yourself? If so, just maintain your good work ethic, integrity and friendliness...
---robin8683 on 9/20/07

First,this person is not your enemy,the devil is.The critical spirit she learned at home by what was modeled there. Probably a perfectionist hard on herself.YOU can/should pray against those things. Pray revelation from God about the trouble source.Confirm this by getting to know her. Someday you may lead her to the healing she needs through forgiving and releasing her abuser to God's judgement.She needs to forgive the abuser, repent of judging (God's job)and she will experience freedom from the past.
---Brian on 9/19/07

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During my 40+ years working in an office environment, I found that the long-term employee is usually the one who is jealous of the newer employees. Older employees fear their job security is at risk when newer employees come on board who can handle the job better and faster than the long-term employee. Maybe this is the problem.
---Susie on 9/19/07

Be careful with this demon(co worker). If you lose your job now that will be unfortunate. You have toiled for 20 years. Starting over is not an option. I have been in this situation before. I was fired from all the lies she spoke against me and also something I failed to do. This person made my life miserable. For no reason other than I had a higher position and was a Christian. No--I did not hide the fact, that I was a Christian. She really resented me for that.I could write a book. So sad.
---Robyn on 9/19/07

It has been my experience when things like this come up God is trying to reveal something about YOU. I pray for the person
Romans 12:20
Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him, if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. I take this also as her spirit and soul hungers and thirst. read on
---denise on 9/19/07

cont.try not to take it personal you are just the person she can take it out on. respond in a loving way. Be Christ like that means getting up 15 or 30 min. early and praying praying on the way to work. So you respond positive. say to your self this is not about me.
---denise on 9/19/07

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Since you have been there for 20 years, your coworkers should know you by now. I would like to know what kind of priviledges you could possibly have that other employees do not have. Your job description may be different as you are assigned other duties. But, if you are being given special "privileges" that the others are not, that would border on discrimination. All employees should be treated equally regardless of their length of employment.
---Susie on 9/18/07

Hi Paula, I have learned that a critical spirit in someone usually means that the person is very insecure, and may have low self-esteem. I also see according to your question, that this person may be a little jealous. Do you know if this co-worker is a christian? Have you tried having friendly chat with this person? And last but not least, have you prayed for this person? This is what I would do. Jesus said that we are to pray for our enemies. As I stated in other post, prayer is powerful. Amen!
---Cynthia on 9/17/07

love her - put some brownies on the edge of your desk - fellow employees feelings obviously don't run deep. Be kind and do your job.Be the better person and if you suffer do it as unto Christ.
---Andrea on 9/17/07

Agree with your adversary quickly and trust Christ to bring truth to light. You can disarm their carnal weapons by reviling not in return.
---Linda on 9/17/07

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Love her, and show her your love. Scripture says to love our enemies. Do loving and kind things for her, and win her to the Lord.
---Trish9863 on 9/17/07

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