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How To Fall Out Of Love

How do you fall out of love with someone? I am in love with my bestfriend and he doesn't feel the same way. How can I get over him? He is the best and I do want him in my life. I could use some great advise. We are both Christians and very involved in church.

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 ---Karen on 9/18/07
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It seems that you both love each other in the spirit but you are trying to be with him in the flesh and he doesnt wish to be with you in that way right now. We are supposed to release our entire fleshy tendency. But never let go of love.
---Shawn.M.T on 11/7/07

Karen, I feel for you and truly know how you feel. I have loved my male best friends for years, and he loves me as his sister and best friend but no more than that. I have loved him for almost 7 years, and even time has not lessened those feelings. I too am in my 40s. We are both Christians. Karen, pray for guidance, wisdom, and strength. He will help us both! Hugs to you, my sister in Christ.
---Minnie on 9/30/07

I Think that the best thing to do is pray to God for understanding and patience. I know its hard but through god all and anything can happen. who knows what God's plan for you and your friend he may not have the feeling you would like now but God can do wonders. Have faith that God has an awesome plan for you. may God bless you sis
---sophia on 9/26/07

Karen, I would stay friend with him and spend as much time with him as he is comfortable with.

Please keep in your head, that love works both ways. If he doesn't love you the way you do, then that means that you're not meant for each other and it's better if you end up breaking with him now than later.

DON'T PANIC. Relax and work things out in a mature way.
---Caring on 9/24/07

Catherine::I at first thought like you then this thought struck me"God so loved the world that he sent his only Begotten son that we may be saved"He shed His life blood for us showed us the way to salvation YET there are many who deny Him ,is that not awful?
---Emcee on 9/23/07

How awful that is, to love someone and he or she not love you back.. However, you can not make someone love you. So what to do? Get over it.>>>God has spoken.
---catherine on 9/22/07

Karen, if that's really a true statement, you'd have no problem pulling the plug on a deadend relationship.
Obsessing over anyone that doesn't want you in their life is an unhealthy obsession.
---Bob on 9/22/07

Fear may be motivating your best friend. Some men are just afraid of commitment. In those cases, a separation will often help him realize that life is actually quite lonely without his best friend. Just as Kady said, the state of your relationship as it is, is not healthy for you.
---DoryLory on 9/22/07

Unfortunately there isn't a formula for this. What worked for me, may not work for you. All I can say is that if you put God first, as you say you are, and lay this at his feet (over and over again if needed), eventually those feelings will decrease. Perhaps you have both unknowingly allowed one another to fill a void that God wants to fill. If true, it is daunting to imagine life without one another. If this is the case, a break from eachother, and quality time with God would do you both some good.
---Kady on 9/21/07

Branch out, and find some more friends to hang out with. Pick up a hobby. Make yourself less available to his every whim. Although he is a good and godly man, and means you no harm, if you continue doing what you two have always done, it's going to eat you up. He'll be fine because he's getting from you everything he wants or needs. But what are you receiving in return? Heartache? That's not a healthy relationship...
---Kady on 9/21/07

I am in love with Jesus. Jesus is first and foremost in my life. I live a breath because of Him.
---Karen on 9/21/07

Karen::Falling out of love is a thought to break a realationship. NO ties just walk away,no questions asked no bruises to salve.But it sounds like a relationship you want you are bewildered.You need to put all your cards on the table face up.answer the question Do I want him YES OR NO. If the answer is YES,then you have to determine is it permanent.Is GOD in the equation on Both sides in all sincerity,if the answer is yes,with no impediments "Go FOR IT"stick with the plan forever.
---Emcee on 9/20/07

We can't serve two masters.....we'll hate the one and love the other....

Why not fall back in love with Jesus Christ and all of that misplaced love will fade and fall away.
---Bob on 9/20/07

I am 42 years old. These feelings that I have has been something that has developed over time. I have known this person for a long time. He is a very trust worthy and good person. He has explained to me how he feels. He says that I am the best friend he has every had. But the kinds of feelings that I have, he hasn't developed. I want him in my life and he wants me in his. I am just having a hard time seperating friendship and my love for him.
---Karen on 9/20/07

Karen: You remind of myself, a lot. Or the way I use to be. You are what is called:quick timber. This is why I said what I did in my earlier post about how old you were and so on...Learn to protect your heart honey. Don't be taken in by every thing that makes your heat flutter. I had to learn this. Not easy,by the way. Don't trust anyone with your heart until you are somewhat sure he loves you anyway. That is one of my secrets. Maybe I should not share this but I hope it helps you.
---Robyn on 9/19/07

Yes, he does know how I feel about him. We have talked about it quite openly. He is an awesome person. The only person that I have ever met that I can be my total self with. As far as sex, we know it's a no, no. That is not even in the situation. We have talked about spending less time with each other, but we both don't want that.
---Karen on 9/19/07

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A man convinced his own will is of the same opinion still.

Are either one of you married? Thinking about the consequences will help you remove yourself from the situation.
---Brad on 9/19/07

Have you ever considered you are attracted to his anoiting and think you love him it happens all the time. My advice is to seek God. There is all kinds of love You could be in love with the idea of having someone like him and not realize it.
---denise on 9/19/07

Maybe that this other person is not who God intended you to be with. But I would not as John stated, give up just yet. And as John stated, have you told him how you feel about him? Sorry John I am not trying to copy your answer, but you bring out some excellent points. I pray that God will give you peace and direction in this.
---Cynthia on 9/18/07

Have you told him how you feel? You should. Are you positive he's not going to respond in the future? Don't jump out, he may just need more time to get to know you better. I'd hang in until I knew for sure there was no hope.
---john on 9/18/07

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Your love for him is probably super hot right now like the hot coals on a charcoal grill. There are three words in the Greek language that describe love, when we only get one word in english to all mean the same thing from loving pickles, to ice cream, to people. But Greeks say AEROS, PHILEOS, and AGAPE, aeros, is friendship, phileos is intimate friendship, but Agape is that you love someone so much that you are willing to marry. In time the coals will cool, beleive me it will pass in time.
---Whisper on 9/18/07

I don't quite know what to say to your questions. You have quite a problem on your hands. The best you can do now is possibly stay from around him as much as possible.In time the feelings may go away. Develop other friendships outside of the church but stay away from this man. I wish I did not have to say this: no sex. That is not for singles anyway.I don't know how old you are but there are some other important things you need to learn before giving your heart away to another person. Blessings.
---Robyn on 9/18/07

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