Should I Divorce My Husband
Should I Divorce my husband? I found in my husbands email, information for dating singles addressed to him. This is the second time I've found this type of information on his email address. He denies it to me all the time and my husband isn't saved.
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---Monica on 9/22/07
Helpful Blog Vote (20)
Monica: I cannot say what to do. Jesus of course says that cheating (whether befor eor after marriage) is grounds for divorce, but He does not say what to do if you suspect cheating but have no proof
It is a hard, very hard, decision, and I would support you whichever decision you finally decide to make!
---Peter on 4/6/11|
I realise what you are going through is not easy, but if you can help him to change, it would be better for you. Do you have his pictures and yours together on Facebook and other sites? Is there a way you can link his page with yours? Pet him to put your picture on his page. Try your best to help him out of his bad dreams.
---Adetunji on 4/1/11|
My heart aches for those poor men who have females falling all over themselves to get in touch.
But I hear Ted Bundy and Scott Peterson (2 notorious murderers, Alan) had the same problem even while in prison!
---Donna66 on 3/28/11|
Andy ... I will be 71 next year, (so will be entering middle age) Others though may see me as being of mature years..
But I am targeted by these 20-25 year old girls, expressing their undying love, and asking me to reply direct to their email address.
I don't block them ... I report them to the Webmaster (or to Sara4949, who is on CN staff) and they get thrown off the site.
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/26/11|
If you have access to his email then there is a really simple way to tell if he is lying to you about being a member of some sleazy singles site. Go to the singles site and click on the I forgot my password and use his email address. If he is indeed a part of that site then you should get an email. If not then it should say something to the effect of user not found.
In the unfortunate event that he really is a member then I would go into that account and look at what he has been doing including his profile and any contacts made. Also for proof take screen shots and save them on a cd in case you need proof of his adultery in the future.
Then confront him with the actual site on his profile and see what he does.
---poopsey on 3/26/11|
Actually these junkmailers use even the Christianet penpall and chat room for doing their awfull bussines. i'm married and its indicated on my profile, and stiull i receive mail of "interested girls" at first i was trying to be nice and sent an email indicatring their mistake, but soon i found that true relations isn't what they want. sadly these leaches have oother things in mind. now i just block them
---andy3996 on 3/23/11|
NO You shouldn't divorce him over this. That's stupid! First off, did you ever stop to consider that this mail might just be junk mail? How long have you been married?
He might have signed up for singles sites before he met you.... and "junk mailers" will mail him, not realizing he's married now.
Now if this is a relatively new email address, IE after he married you... then you might have a bit more reason for concern. But again, it could just be mis-mailed junk mail.
---Anonymous on 3/23/11|
Why do you seek advice from ppl? We are all human and sinners how would we know what to do?Get down on your knees a pray to God who has the answers to all questions!Read your bible, get to know Gods word and grow in your relationship with him and you will know his will!!
---Karolina on 4/3/08|
a marrige is a covenant between two people
he has broken that covenant. you are not responsible to hold your end up. you need to pray for him. are you looking for a way out. pray for the truth to be revealed about his behavoir. the spirit of conviction
---denise on 10/10/07|
Monica: don't listen to anything Richard says. He's all wet and just blowing the side of his neck. You can separate from your husband if you do not see a change in his behavior with these emails. I would approach him about these emails first before doing anything drastic. If this behavior continues, I would show him better than I could tell him. Pray and ask the Lord for guidance,also.
---Robyn on 10/10/07|
Absolutely Not! Why is your husband shopping for your replacement? This falls on you the believer to answer,
In ICorinthians chapter7 Paul commands husbands and wives defraud not one another.
The epidemic of Christian divorce demonstrates the selfishness, and lack of humility that plagues households.
In most cases as the unbeliver displeases the believer the marital-bed and marriage is made increasingly unpleasant until the unbeleiver commits fornication or departs
---Richard on 10/10/07|
In 1Corinthians7 regarding defrauding Paul is citing from the Greek Septuagint:
Leviticus 19:13 Thou shalt not defraud (Greek: Misthos Ones hired wages) thy neighbour (Greek: Koime-Thesetai [The one you sleep with], neither rob (Greek: Misthoton [hired wages] him: the wages of him that is hired shall not abide with thee all night until the morning.
---Richard on 10/10/07|
In 1Corinthians7 Paul also cites from the Greek Septuagint
Deuteronomy 24:14-15 Thou shalt not oppress (Greek Apo-Stereite To diminish or To withhold sustenance from.) an hired servant that is poor and needy, -- At his day thou shalt give him his hire, neither shall the sun go down upon it, for he is poor, and setteth his heart upon it: lest he cry against thee unto the LORD, and it be sin unto thee.
---Richard on 10/10/07|
The Bible does allow divorce if it is for fornication...not adultry. Emailing singles or even subscribing to a dating service is adultry. However, in Matt 19:9 Jesus stated very clearly "And I say unto you, Whosover shall put away his wife, EXCEPT it be for fornication, and shall marry another committeth adultery (KJV) My advice is this, keep you eyes open and know there are huge red flags.
---jane on 10/5/07|
There is nothing hidden, that shall not be brought to light, especially for the children of God. Be patient and let all evidence unfold. We Christians do not have to make choices based on assumptions, the Lord will reveal all things to us if we trust Him. As the truth is revealed the Lord will guide you in what to do from there.
---Delora on 10/4/07|
I will pray for you to find the guidance you need. My mother has lived with a situation like this for 18 years. Not only does it strain the marriage, it is hard on you as an individual, on your mental and physical health. You need to take care of yourself and if your husband will not respect you then you should seek counseling and a good lawyer. Talk with your pastor about resources in the church.
---Sarah on 9/25/07|
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I would not divorce him based on assuming he is cheating on you. If you do not have solid proof that he is, you shouldn't divorce him. If he is cheating on you, then yes by all means get a divorce. Yes as it has been said, God does hate divorce, but...no body should be treated like trash.
---Rebecca_D on 9/24/07|
Rita, I didn't look sneak and look on his email. I came downstairs and he accidently left his screen up with all his information. Otherwise, I wouldn't have even seen the information. My husband has in the past had a separate cell phone with other womens phone numbers on it. That is why I'm in so much turmoil over the internet incident.
---Monica on 9/24/07|
No, that would only be enough for me to put my antennas up. If I was to divorce for everything my spouse did wrong, I would have gotten a divorce on about a billion occasions now. However if you are sure there is not an ember of love in your relationship. definately reconsider your life track. And put yourself on the right track before you find you have lost the next twentfive years and have ended up at a dead end with a spouse who now wants to murder you.
---Whisper on 9/24/07|
Saved or unsaved, your spouse should not have this type information in his email. I would ask for a talk session with him to find out what is going on. If he were unable to explain this truthfully to me, I would consider other options. Up to and including separation,possibly divorce. God does not like divorce but we can separate from our spouses. You do not have to tolerate this type behavior. Make this man accountable to you. He is not saved either! More of a reason I would be on this.
---Robyn on 9/24/07|
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I do not support divorce beacuse Jesus did not support it under no circumstance. Ask yourself: if it is Jesus, will He divorce? As long as the Bible enjoins us to be imitators of Christ. My advice is that you invite the Holy Spirit to help you to forgive your husband and pray that he surrenders his life to Christ for a trustwhorthy/successful marriage.
God bless you.
---glory on 9/24/07|
God hates divorce, Malachi 2:16, because it shuts the door to forgiveness and reconciliation. I forgave my husband of infidelity and abandonment more than twenty years ago although he fathered a child by another woman. Because I loved and prayed for him. he found Jesus Christ and is now a minister. Because we showed the same love to our son, he left Satanism and is now a Christian. If you forgive others, God will forgive you, it's very simple.
---Cindy on 9/24/07|
hadaa5944 I don't mind people disagreeing with me but I personally believe that everyone should be entitled to some privacy. No-one in my home knows the password to my email address. No-one opens each others mail and we do not pick up the extension when someone else is using the phone. If others choose to share all it is their personal choice also.
---RitaH on 9/24/07|
Sister, I know this is difficult but if you are saved, you will follow Mark 10:6-12. The Bible says in 1 Cor 7:39 and Romans 7:2 tells us that you are bound to your husband as long as he is living. It does not matter whether he is saved or not because this is the law of God. The Lord tells us in John 14:15, 21 that if we love Christ we will obey His commandments.
---Ed_from_IL on 9/23/07|
I disagree with what Rita said. If you are married to someone there should not be any secrets and your computer, diary etc. should be an open book! If it isn't than there is reason to expect they are hiding something.
---hadaa5944 on 9/23/07|
Is it a Christian thing to check up on everything that someone has looked up on a P.C. Isn't this akin to reading someone's diary, listening in to their phone calls or opening their post???
---RitaH on 9/23/07|
I just wanted to say NOT to jump to conclusions. Your husband may have looked at the site one time or another to see the different people there, I have done this myself and I have never cheated on my husband. He's probably curious on who in the world would go on a singles website I know I was and I haven't went any further with my looking. Anyhow, you worry too much, you know your hubby loves you and I wouldn't let one site that was on his e-mails upset you. God Bless You and Take CAre Brand5547
---Brandi on 9/23/07|
Hi Monica, i agree that you have no Biblical proof that he has commited adultery. I would have patience and see what happens. If he is commiting adultery, eventually it will show up. My son came over here one day, and he wanted to check his emails. Well to my surprise I did not realize that he was enrolled in a dating service.(He is single), anyway I am constantly getting emails about singles and dating because of this. I do not even open them. If you need to talk, write me at cynth9664. God Bless!
---Cynthia on 9/22/07|
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go to a computer store there are programs that can view all the files - emails everything anyone on your PC looks at. My sis caught her husband having an affair with something like that. And apparently, you can't tell its on the PC.
Then pack your bags.
maybe you ought to get some pastoral conseling first
---Andrea on 9/22/07|
First: you should NOT divorce your husband. You really have no biblical grounds for a divorce, and unless there is some proof that he is committing adultery, there are no grounds for divorce. Second: since you know he is getting this e mail, instead of asking him if it's true, ask him "why" is doing this. Knowing, "why" is more important. Third: See if he's open to some professional counseling,(let him choose the counselor). Fourth: pray for some guidance on this matter.
---wivv on 9/22/07|