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Don't Want Friends

If you no longer want to be friends with someone, what should you do?

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 ---sierra on 9/26/07
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Ps.1:Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or stand in or sit in the seat of,separate from friends who do not have your best at heart. God forgive me,but, I do not have any friends hardly ... I got to seek the Lord with all my heart,soul,mind,body,give up everything for God. He gives me breath!It's a "no brainer!" sick or well,sure don't want to be hell bound! Hell on earth! Then to have to live 'n hell! thankyou,ChristiaNet! Love ELENA
---ELENA on 4/11/12

You can just stop any form of communications.Or if you want,you can have a closure by talking your heart out to the person involved so that he can be aware of what's going on and the reason why you want to end it
---mj on 9/28/11

Donna66, The Spirit speaks to the Conscience. When we know something to be wrong, and we ignore it, we go against Conscience. In this case what we feel is sin to us. If we ignore it, many times later we feel guilty because we knew what to do and did not do it. The point is, as believers we should never go against conscience even if we are wrong because that's where the Spirit speaks to us. Take the case of most of the SDA's, I never tell them what day to worship. Because like Romans 14, I don't want them to go against conscience even though I believe we are under grace. If they go against conscience they will train themselves to ignore it and when the Spirit wants to use it, it will not be a good instrument.
---Mark_V. on 7/9/11

MarkV---That's a very good point. But sometimes our consciences are conflicted.
Psa 1:1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. (Ps 1:1) vs "Love your enemies" and "if thine enemy hunger, feed him, if he thirst, give him drink:...Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." (Rom 12: 20-21)

When conscience speaks the Psalm in one ear and Romans 12 in the other, we have to make a decision.
---Donna66 on 7/7/11

Interesting that you brought up guilt. That was one of the biggest issues. When looking at my struggles with guilt, I need to ask, is it of the Lord, is it accusations by the accuser? Is it me (flesh)? A true conviction from the Lord, results in freedom when one obeys.
---Christina on 7/7/11

Donna66, after reading your post you said,

"It's not easy and you can easily feel guilty in the process."

I remembered my studies on Rom. 14, concerning the conscience. When Gentiles invited the Jews and gave out ham sandwiches the problem the Jews had was not biblical, because we are told "don't call unclean what God has cleansed." but they would gag on the food. it was their conscience that bothered them. My point, if our conscience tells us something and we ignore the conscience, we begin to train our conscience wrong, and when God's Holy Spirit wants to use it, it won't be an instrument. When we ignore our conscience it brings all kinds of guilt. Just something I thought about when you said guilt.
---Mark_V. on 7/7/11

Christina, I've been there, too. It's not easy and you can easily feel guilty in the process. The worst thing is to vacillate between being friendly and not being friendly. You're right. You have to take a stand...even if you have to say, (rejecting your own guilt feelings) "This relationship is not good for me and I cannot continue it". Sometimes you can just get "busy" without saying much. If your decision is for a good reason, you have to do what you have to do as kindly as possible.
---Donna66 on 7/7/11

"I can remember my mother always telling me, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"
---Donna66 on 7/5/11"
Same here, and I've said it to my children. I've struggled with being forthright much of my life, and have recently come out of a "friendship" that was not healthy. I had a very difficult time separating myself from this person. it took prayer, trusting God, and standing..
---christina on 7/5/11

Catherine---good advice and wonderfully succinct. I can remember my mother always telling me, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". I remember her as a rather quiet person. :-)
---Donna66 on 7/5/11

God is good & yes! You have to separate yourself from the wicked! Friends are not friends if they know you are try'n to earnestly,serve God n they don't care about your priorities!You have to take a stand! Be forgiving but, if they do not Respect you! they're no friend & pray God open their eyes n the HOLY SPIRIT touch their hearts...get serious don't be wit them.Doublemined man is unstable n all his ways! ELENA
---ELENA on 7/5/11

Stop the phone calls,visits and other contact.Is this person male or female? You did not say. I once had a situation like this. I stopped the phone calls and so did she. We never asked any other questions. The friendship was in the early stages. I am glad she never asked me why. I would not have wanted to give the reason.
---Robyn on 10/27/07

Amen RitaH! I agree wholeheartedly. Sierra,look to God's word, not man's. We make mistakes with our tongues far too often.
---kady on 10/4/07

I think that it is possible to let friendships gently wind down without causing offence. It depends on just how long and how intense the friendship was but, if there is a good reason why it must end it can surely be done gently and lovingly without hurting anyone.
---RitaH on 9/29/07

Be nice to them. Don't gossip about them. Ignore them.
---catherine on 9/28/07

To be perfectly honest it really is going to take some one that has been through hell as they say and high water with friends and found that continual prayer and fasting anything something changed the heart of some people to make me understand that you can actually change a persons heart. I am struggling with this one myself, hurt let down by a friend continually for many years and tired of the process I decided to let that friend Go, but I wouldn't want God to let me Go so I struggle on. Help!
---Carla5754 on 9/28/07

Matthew 18. So why do you not want to be "friends"?
---Nana on 9/28/07

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I have had old friends that I have purposely ended our relationship but noly after much prayer and travail. If you call them friend - maybe you need to get some good personal advice on this and not a blog therapy session.

1st rule - be kind
---Andrea on 9/27/07

Tell that person you are following Christ without compromise -- and that means giving up the things of the world. If they still don't understand, point out the reason(s) why you feel that your friendship doesn't coincide with your walk with Jesus.

And for Whisper, surely you have more love than that.
---Mr._Graham on 9/27/07

I agree, BE HONEST...tell them the truth but do it in kindness. In other words be kind, but to the point, so to speak. This can be done. God Bless!
---Cynthia on 9/27/07

Honesty is the best trying to let one down in sugar coated lies and not hurt them will never work.
---Peggy on 9/27/07

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Do not sugar coat it. Do not be nice when you are saying goodbye. Do not let them down gently. But let them fall on their....with a hard thump.
---Whisper on 9/27/07

If it's simply someone you don't care to hang out with for one reason or another, then casually put distance between the two of you. Get busy doing other things. Call them less. That kind of thing. If it's something more serious, and detrimental, perhaps being honest with that person and telling them you can't hang out with them anymore is the best way to go. Just give it to God, and ask him for wisdom on how to handle the situation. He has marvelous ways of accomplishing things!
---kady on 9/26/07

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