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Mummy's Boy Husband

How do I survive with a husband who is a mummy's boy and an authoritative in-law who always likes to intrude into every aspect of our newly married life?

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 ---shara4544 on 11/5/07
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Just Pray Dear. Your husband is heading in a direction against God's word and his purpose and plan for marriage.


Don't try to solve things on your own. Let God work in your life. Kill your emotions/feelings whatsoever. Wait upon the Lord.


May God bless ur marriage
---akm on 3/21/12

Shara: I believe you knew what you were gettiing into before you married this man.You should have observed this man around his mother and other relatives before you married him. We don't just jump and marry any man that comes along.No one should ever be that desperate. How is he a mama's boy? Because he loves his mama? That does not make him a mama's boy.And as far as the busybody inlaw goes: give him/her the boot. Let him/her know this will not be tolerated, at any cost. Only you and he can stop this. Show some backbone.
---Robyn on 3/17/11

Have you thought about the pressure your husband might be feeling being caught in the middle of a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law conflict?

Or is it all about YOU?

Trust that your husband knows how to handle his own mother better than you do.
---Cluny on 3/16/11

MOVE far away. That works..
Make it difficult for her to see her son every day.
Aleast 50 miles away.
Good luck
---Anisha on 3/16/11

Don't worry too much. She'll probably die first before you do.
---Mermaid on 3/10/10

There's really no solution to it. we live an ocean away but she sent 5+ msgs daily. Tell him her life is w/o hope during holidays. she also come and lives w/ us 4 mo in a yr, esp since grandkids were born. It's only going downhill. One has to be realistic. Blood is afterall thicker.
---susan on 5/9/08

I am in that same situation, except my Mother In Law has help from my Sister In Law. I have been married for 10 yrs and looking at a divorce bc of his family. He even admits our marriage failed bc of them and his lack to defend me and our marriage.
Good luck honey !
---margie on 11/15/07

Shara, this is a truly sad situation. Being newly married is a time where you begin to learn about eachother as husband and wife and there is major adjusting in this new relationship. I remember my first year and can't begin to imagine how it would have been if my mother in law was intrusive. I will be praying dear. Take care kella
---Kella3336 on 11/13/07

"Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Yes, the bible really says this, therefore it was meant to be the rule and the norm. There are many cultures where it is the woman who has to leave her family and move in with her husband's and live under the rule of her mother-in-law!!! This also seems to have been the case, sometimes, in the old testament. That is not to say that it was correct though.
---RitaH on 11/9/07

thks for all your advice. basically i had went through marriage counselling before, just that my husband is not agreeable to pastor's advice and what was discussed. in the first place, he does not even admit of cleaving to his mum. he never admit to anything he did wrong. he always think he is right.
it's hard to tink of moving since he can't leave his mum. and surely his mum would object and he listens to her. even if we move within my small country, they will still visit each other frequently.
---shara4544 on 11/8/07

i guess there's no end to this.
yes Trish, sadly i know these when i was engaged. i guessed love is blind. all along before i was married, i actually thought it was good that he is so filial and respectful of his mum. till i was married through this 1 year did i realize that he is not merely being filial but totally cleaving to her and he just enjoys her and being in her control. because when she is around, i will be non-existent to him. and i have lots of examples but there is limited space here...
---shara4544 on 11/8/07

**Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.**

And if this is literally true, was Isaac actually married? Read the story. Abraham FORBADE him to leavee the family tents. Rebecca was brought to HIM.
---Jack on 11/8/07


Speaking from experience, if you can, you and your new hubby need to move away. This will do two things for you. When you are both in an unfamiliar area it helps you to grow closer. You depend more on each other. Also it greatly lessens the influence of Mummy.

Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

May the Lord bless your marriage.
---trey on 11/7/07

worst thing is sometimes i really feel that i hate her which is such a sin but i cant help it. after all that she did... intruding in every aspects of our lives, being authoritative and all, snatching time away from my husband, sometimes i even feel that she did all this as she knows that my husband is v filial and is mummy's boy, so she makes use of the chance. and i feel that my husband treats his mum more like his wife than treating me... i'm so sad.
---shara4544 on 11/6/07

Marital therapy or geographic move.

Did you not know that he is a Mama's Boy when you were engaged?
---Trish9863 on 11/6/07

i feel my husband put his mum before anything else. sadly, we were juz married for a year. i always feel sad, hurt,unloved and neglected. he does things like defend her, find time for her and she intrudes in everything, and come into the picture whenever i get to find private time with him. sometimes i kept praying coz i feel so alone. we went for counselling but he disagrees with what pastor adviced. basically he has a problem with sharing finance and refuse to admit of cleaving to his mum.
---shara4544 on 11/6/07

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Move a far enough distance for them to be unable to travel easily and return home in the same day - and don't have a spare room available or you'll be back to square one.
---RitaH on 11/6/07

I would come out from among them.

---Whisper on 11/6/07

Move far away!:)Not really.Hopefully you are Christian. I would suggest getting into Christian Marriage Counseling right away and weening him away from his mothers clutches. You will need to be nicely assertive with her,pray allot, communicate with your husband and stay in the Word together.HE needs to understand the marriage covenant.TO LEAVE HIS MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO YOU.Counseling might help.:)
---jody on 11/6/07

move far,far ,away.
---tom2 on 11/6/07

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