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Stay In Love Less Marriage

Does God expect Christians to remain in abusive, and love less marriages til death do them part?

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 ---Truth_Be_Said on 11/11/07
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I believe I have always listened to only one person!
He is talking!

Thank for all the praise, I mean, after all a crown.
The only crown I would like is for the lord to hit me on the head. lol
Thanks, God bless you and yours! Well the world, good and bad alike, in his eyes.
---Frank on 10/5/08

God bless you Frank. :) We love you brother, we don't always agree, you and me, but I know I've dished out my share of heated blogs sometimes lol! :) We're human. :)
---Mary on 9/30/08

Frank:While I sympathise with your situation,don't listen to those who cannot see beyond their Nose.Hang in there this life is a testing ground for Gods approval and Temporary.RewardI know many will shout me down in this live is temporary as against a reward in the hereafter which is Everlasting.Don't make a foolish trade.Remember the Vow "I promise to love,In sickness and in Health,forsaking all else, Richer or Poorer till death do us Part"You got it made Buddy.Your crown awaits you.
---MIC on 9/30/08

I apologize for my outburst, I was speaking from my life and not my heart.
I just want to say a marriage is in the heart, where one honor and glorify the other. My wife has an illness, for years many tell me get out of it, and find someone who will love you back. I ask you, how can I! If I get one second of remembrance from her it makes my week. I hear many said Im married! I tell you because you put your name on a paper, its not a Marriage in the eyes of God! Think of Christ in this, ask yourself is he marry to us, are we marry to him, are we one! The same! Please understand this!
---Frank on 9/29/08

I believe men that beat their wives,LIE compulsively to their wives,PSYCHOLOGICALLY abuse them[believe me it's just as bad or worse than physical] Have MENTAL problems...They KNOW they need help.I do not believe people that LIE just to lie and everyday are CHristians...I believe spiritually they need DELIVERANCE and their flesh needs a GOOD saavy Dr. to help them work out their issues/sin.I THOUGHT I married a CHRISTIAN and what I married was a manipulator and character disturbed person.Ladies are you listening?? I KNEW it was wrong but I did not trust myself.I thought I was just afraid of commitment.TRUST YOUR HEART.God gave us a free will.. maybe prayer can change his will..Do you all believe GOd can change people's will?
---Hope on 9/28/08

A contract is a binding Proposition some good and some Bad.Marriage is such a contract instituted by God.When making a contract a wise person makes it legal and Binding as God said in Genesis, 2 in one flesh,- what God hath joined, let no one put asunder.There is no excuse for either party to be abusive -Tit for Tat-the complete attributes of God are brought together,in a union.This means God within you cannot be separated.Hence the saying and act 'taste and try before you buy is WRONG'.People who seek this Godly institution make it a hell b/c they rush into the contract with carnal desire and no spiritual reasoning with the DETERMINATION to make it Last forever and a Heaven on earth.
---MIC on 9/27/08

Nunya, what are you suggesting by that comment? How do you know a lot of "fat women" are responding to this? At the very least, I hope you're not suggesting that "fat women" don't deserve to be in happy marriages. If I'm wrong, please let me know--thanks and God bless.
---Mary on 9/26/08

This is why men and women are so messed up today. People telling them, the bible says Stay Together! Christ said turn the other cheek did he say what to do after that? If your man or woman does not love you get out of it, its dead. Find someone who will return your love, the way the lord made love. Dont live a lie, because you think its what God wants for you. Get real, you think God wants you to wake up with a fist in your face every day of your life, are you the Gods people or devils. Well, I hope your Gods people or Im dammed and Im not one of the dammed.

Your brother in the faith of Christ!
---Frank on 9/26/08

Theres alot of fat people who answer these things, aren't there?
---nunya on 9/26/08

We would have no idea if both of you made a poor decision in choosing a mate.
If you're talking verbal abuse or someone telling you how to do everything, that's not really a justification to divorce.
It's possible that in your decision making process, you both chose the wrong person.

But if you have kids, you should be making every effort to work it out.
If there is unfaithfulness on both sides - evening the score, then you would still be equally yoked.
---Linda on 9/21/08

If you are being beaten, you should leave right away before he kills you. Go to a safe place and take your children with you. Tell him you will not return unless he agrees to Christian counciling. If he refuses, don't return. You owe it to yourself and your children to keep yourselves safe. I'm not saying you should remarry. That I don't know but I will never believe our God would want us to be abused this way.
---bara7776 on 11/24/07

What is the Golden rule? what kind of root get such bad fruit?
---dsda on 11/20/07

dsda ... Do you suggest that God gives a woman a husband who beats her? If so, He also gives her the husband who cheats on her, or the husband who eventually kills her, or the husband who rapes their daughters.
Those are not God's gifts.
God's gift to the woman is the strength and courage to exit from such abusive partnerships (and it is very difficult for them to do so, both legally and psychologically, and often it is against the stupid guidance from their pastor)
---a on 11/19/07

God is righteous, he give us all we could bear. bible is for the person who read it. for the pure, all is pure. we could not change others but we could change ourselves. after we changed, God will do what we cannot do.
---dsda on 11/17/07

Deda .... If the husband continues to be abusive, it is clear that he has not repented.
An although the questioner should forgive him, it is very difficult to do this if there is no repentance, and if the abuse continues.
Trev ... Yiu say the victim is bound unless the other cheats ... but is not abuse (especially if it is wife battering) a form of cheating? Adultery is not the only form of betrayal
---alan_of_UK on 11/15/07

how to repent or forgive in this marriage?
where is repentance or forgiveness in this marriage?
---dsda on 11/13/07

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Christ would never treat his bride that way. And the bride wouldn't treat Christ that way.

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it,

If you are being abused you should leave for your safety. You are bound to your spouse before God unless he/she cheats on you, or marries another, but you don't have to live with that person.

Lord bless you.
---trey on 11/13/07

Abuse is a sin.

By leaving an abusive spouse, the other spouse is reducing the chance for the abuser to sin.

That's another reason to leave, though one's physical/psychological welfare is sufficient by itself.

(But be careful--some abusers go psycho when their spouses leave them. Try and have someplace safe to go, or at least hide.)

As for loveless marriages--are they love-less or hate-filled? The first are sad, but the second are soul-damaging.
---Nancy on 11/12/07

I'm not sure what you mean by abusive. Some people consider not having enough attention abusive. If the marriage is loveless then that is a sin. We are commanded to love eachother. Spouses incuded, whether you feel like it or not. If you don't, you are in sin.
If your life is in danger, get into a place of protection and try to work things out from a distance. God wants us to reconcile with all those who have wronged us.
---john on 11/12/07

God doesn't expect anyone to be in a abusive marriage. To say other-wise is hogwash. If a woman is getting beat up by her husband, she is not bound to him by no means. And vice versa, and the same goes for an unfaithful spouse. God gets no pleasure out of anyone being unhappy.
---Rebecca_D on 11/12/07

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Yes. Your promise made to God is still binding.

Love is classically the FRUIT of marriage, not its reason or root.
---Jack on 11/12/07

I don't think God would want anyone to stay in an abusive marriage.
But if it's just "loveless" that could well be because one or the other partner (and perhaps the complainer) is not putting enough love into the marriage. It needs to be worked at!
---alan_of_UK on 11/11/07

Abusive? No. Loveless? probably yes.

If you are being abused, get out now. Seek therapy and if necessary file assault charges. Protect yourself and any children you may have.
---Trish9863 on 11/11/07

You're not giving us much, so all we can do is speculate.
My guess is that this isn't your first rodeo, marriage. People are quicker to move towards divorce if they've been through it before.
You don't need our permission to divorce.
Think back to the circumstances you met this person, are you reaping a miserable marriage because of them?
---Linda on 11/11/07

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Has there been a recent affair? That would move someone to search for greeener grass.
But there really isn't any.
You will be taking the same person, you, attracting the same kinds of people all over again, wherever you go, whoever you find.
---Linda on 11/11/07

Every week or so, this question comes up.

In the end, you really shouldn't be seeking man's opinion, it is your eternal soul that will reap from your decisions. Ask God about your marriage. What if you remarry the same kind of person all over again.
---Linda on 11/11/07

There are alot of variables that are unknown to us. How many times have you been married?
Did you pick this husband, or did God?
Were you unequally yoked before you married?
Is there unfaithfulness between you?

If either one/both of you have been unfaithful, resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness can cause division.
---Linda on 11/11/07

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