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Divorce Unbelieving Spouse

If God has said that we are not to be unequally yoked with an unbelieving spouse and if we are to know them by their fruit and their actions don't line up with the fruit of a believer. Are you really bound by the law? Where does grace come in?

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MATTHEW 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh, therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.
---RICHARDC on 8/14/11

The advice is plain and simple god hath called us to peace and therefore if there is no peace, it is against the Lord that we should remain and be aggrieved.

Allowing someone to depart does not negate divorce, what a woman is asked to do is to remain unmarried.

However people defraud the word of God to mean, depart and remarry for both partners. It is not stated anywhere accept for death on the woman's part and fornication on the man's part to remarry, no matter what people say, it is simply not biblical.

THE POINT... is people use everything to mean remarry...
---Carla on 8/11/11

1 Cor. 7:12 "But to the rest speak I, not the Lord:
If any brother hath a wife that believeth not,
and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and
if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him."

Accordingly, a man was not to put away an unbelieving spouse if SHE was pleased to dwell with him.
Women were not (legalistically) in any position to put away their husbands so, the advice was to LEAVE
an unbelieving husband who was not pleased to dwell with the believing wife.
Carla, could you explain what it means "pleased to dwell with"?
---Nana on 8/8/11

The bible actually says the if the unbelieving departs let them depart. not if the unbelieving does not conform divorce them. Paul gave his honest opinion on the matter as one who has authority to advise the church concerning marriage to an unbelieving spouse.

That means if he/she dwells with you, Your life if Christlike may influence the other, you don't know whether it will or not... it is possible.

that includes the 70x7 forgiveness clause..... to be added for good measure.
---Carla on 8/8/11

This passage is applicable to prevent marriage to a nonbeliever, it is not applicable to the already married to a nonbeliever. Forgiveness is needed in the case of the latter. Again,1 Corinthians 7:12-16 must be in view. We should also have in mind Malachi 2: 15,16. That you do not deal treacherously.
Great caution must be taken. We must not allow our emotion override our reasoning.
---Christian_Matthew on 8/5/11

I am married to an unbeliever. It is a dangerous situation. He is spiritually blind. If I let him lead me, I will be condemned.

I wish I could divorce. I actually would be better off, but we do have children. If my life and spirit come into danger, I will walk away though. It is not right for a believer to choose a spouse over YHVH.
---katie on 3/3/11

Adetunji-- Oh, sorry. Guess I forget my question to kofi.

I knew what the Bible says about
marriages where only one of the partners is a Christian. I asked the question, rhetorically, to kofi because he flatly stated that being "unequally yoked" was a "sin".
---Donna66 on 3/23/10

Donna66: You asked Kofi the following ques "Kofi -- What if only one of a married couple becomes a Christian? Should they divorce because they are unequally yoked?" That is what i tried to answer in my earlier comments addressed to you.
---Adetunji on 3/23/10

Adetunji---I didn't post anything commenting on divorce, let alone that the believing mate could depart. You may have me mixed up with the other Donna.
---Donna66 on 3/22/10

Donna66: According to what Apostle Paul explained in 1Cor.7:15, it is only the unbelieving partner that can ask for a divorce or depart. The Christian is not allowed spiritually to ask for a divorce based on different faith except on glaring case of infidelity Matt.19:9. The marriage convenant becomes broken by sexual infidelity.
---Adetunji on 3/22/10

Kofi: I am sorry, i searched for this blog for days(it is my fault as i forgot the caption). (I) Look at Exod.22:16-17 and Deut.22:28-29, a man that lies with an unmarried, unbetrothed girl MUST marry her. Refusal to marry her is not possible. (II) If he lies with a betrothed virgin(consent) both will die Deut.22:23-24. (III)If he forced the virgin, he will die but the lady is still married Deut.22:25-26. Nowadays, a man that fornicates with an unmarried girl which he does not marry has humbled/defiled the wife of somebody. The man doesn't know her husband but God does, it is very simple.
---Adetunji on 3/22/10

"Are you bound to a spouse? seek not to be loosed. Are you loosed from a spouse? seek not to be bound." Grace comes from the Spirit of Christ. There is an old saying, "the family that prays together, stays together."
---Eloy on 3/20/10

As for the death was certainly approved by God in the old Testament.

Lev 24:20-21 ... eye for eye, tooth for tooth... And he that killeth a beast, he shall restore it: and he that killeth a man, he shall be put to death. God is a totally righteous Judge.

The Hebrews had their own judges and "justice system", including specific towns to which the unjustly accused could flee for protection.

Recent Forensic Science has shown us that some of the condemned are actually innocent. Thet's why I have doubts.
Though I don't see the death penalty (per se) as ungody.
---Donna66 on 3/19/10

Kofi -- What if only one of a married couple becomes a Christian? Should they divorce because they are unequally yoked?
A common situation is that a Christian marries someone they "think" is a Christian but it turns out not to be the case. Are they in sin because they are "unequally yoked"?
The Bible gives specific instructions to those with an unbelieving mate (see I Cor 7:14+15) and they are not told to "repent of their sin".

Of course if one knowingly and defiantly marries an unbeliever, their very attitude is sin.
---Donna66 on 3/19/10

Donna66: I will disagree on your point that two can be unequally yoked in these days and not be a sin. Disobeying God is a sin.
2cor6:14 "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" (KJV)
You are the light of this world when you become a child of God. You and an unbliever should not be married.

peter3594: Personally I would like to see the death penalty abolished but I am not sure about the position of God on this. I dont have a biblical answer at this time.
---Kofi on 3/19/10

The law reads like this:
Lev 20:10 And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

Funny how in Jesus day, the penalty seems to have been for the woman alone.
---Donna66 on 3/18/10

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Those are quite a few issues to answer with a word limit. perhaps you should be a bit more clear in what it is you are really asking, being unequally yokes is for believers who get involved with unbelievers before marriage.

Knowing someone by their fruits is about being able to see someone by their action not just words.

Grace is an unmerited favour from God one we could not earn or deserve yet something you cannot take advantage of.

The unbeliever marrying a unbeliever then becoming a believer 1. Corinthians 7 deals with that situation.
---Carla on 3/18/10

Not to be "unequally yoked with an unbelieving spouse" is not part of the law. But it is godly advice.

In the OT, God often forbade intermarriage with pagans...but Hebrews sometimes married non-Hebrews. In the NT, again, there is no law to that effect. People were not punished for such a marriage (except by likely friction within the marriage) No where is it referred to as "sinful".

Evaluation of someone else's "fruit" must be balanced by the fact that
our own "fruit" may not always measure up either... (unless you are one of those who consider themselves incapable of sin).

It is not fair to judge an unbeliever by the same standards of "fruit".
---Donna66 on 3/18/10

Kofi, would you take it that we canot kill anyone? Not a common wiew in the US, though I would prefer it the way you suggest
---peter3594 on 3/18/10

alan8566_of_uk: No the adulterous man did not get stoned to death. He was not even brought to judgement which shows discrimination towards women. They were both equally guilty. Paul instructed the man sleeping with his father's wife to be removed from among them and handed to satan. This is equivalent to being stoned because spiritually you die. Infact in the old law, one would be stoned for such an offence but in the new it is different but the same, in that you still die. Without true repentance to bring about regeneration or restoration (gal 6) the sinner will see the second death which we must all avoid.
---kofi on 3/18/10

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Koti ... Did the adulterous man get stoned to death?
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/17/10

Adetunji, my answer is not just eloquent but true. The old law of stoning a wife for adultery was not a pefect law. It was just a shadow of the pefect law to come through Christ. Heb. 10:1 Read John 8. Pay attention to verse 4. she was caught in adultery and what was Jesus' response? The old law condermed sinners by death to some sins but not so in the new. The law of marriage can only be reversed by death but since we cant kill no one, you are bound until natural death. read Jememiah chap.3 God did not remarry after divorcing the church (Israel) He remained Israels husband. Husbands love your wifes as Christ(God, husband) loves the church(wife). You must understand the old law to know the new. KJV
---Kofi on 3/17/10

Adetunji: Where can I find your definition of Fornication in the bible? you wrote: "Fornication is sexual sin with your neighbour's wife/husband as the Lord explained it to me(Wife/husband unknown to man but known to God)"
---Kofi on 3/17/10

Dear Kofi: Your answer sounds eloquent but it is not full gospel. Check your Bible very well, you will find out that any spouse caught in adultery is stoned to death and the marriage to the living spouse terminates at death. In God's sight adultery and fornication are both sin. Adultery is sexual sin with a person whose spouse is known. Fornication is sexual sin with your neighbour's wife/husband as the Lord explained it to me(Wife/husband unknown to man but known to God). Sexual infidelity is equal to breaking of marriage convenant which the Lord is not happy with.
---Adetunji on 3/12/10

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Truely, God does not recognize divorce. The two will remain one flesh till death do them part. Matt 19:9 In the KJV Jesus talks about FORNICATION being the only means to divorce where one is allowed to marry (not remarry). Why did Jesus use fornication and not Adultery. The answer is in Matt 1:18-20. Mary and Joseph were engaged to be married but the bible referred to them as husband and wife. Jesus was telling his deciples in Matt 19, God hates divorce but during the period of engagement if one is found to have fornicated, the other can walk away but once they are married there is no divorce, not even through adultery. This is talked about again in Luke 16:18 and 1chorin 7:10 Paul says its a direct command from God not to divorce: no excuse
---Kofi on 3/12/10

To elizabeth: that is indeed terrible for you. If the spouse was unbeleiving and left, that leaves you free, but it must be extremely painful. Be praying for you
---peter3594 on 3/10/10

my unbelieving spouse chose to leave while i was away, he moved all of his things out.
what do you think Our God wants me to do.
I have not heard from him sense i have returned home and i have not tried to reach him either we are on two different road and 2 can not walk together unless they agree and this is true in marriage as well pray for me brothers and sisters as i go deeper into the word of God and his eternal purpose for my life.
---Elizabeth on 3/2/10

The Apostle Paul was dealing with Christians, telling those who are single, not to marry an unbeliver. If a person is married to an unbeliver, they are to stay married to the unbeliver, presenting a positive Chritian testimony, in the hopes of them becoming a Christian. The only exception to staying married is if the unbeliver wants to end the marriage.
---wivv on 1/1/08

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Don't pen everything as being legalistic. Salvation never gives one a license to go out and do as one pleases. All grace is my friend, A willingless to obey God. And God in His word saids, "unless death or adultry occures you may do one ot two things. Leave him
and remain single or number two go back to him". Does not mean that you may go out on the town and kick up your heels, either. Have a good day.
---catherine on 12/6/07

Paul tells us not to be equally yoked with none believers in the context that you're a believer. Christian is to marry christian. However he also says be as you were before you knew the Lord.If you are married before you became christian you can't divorse, but if the unbelieving partner wants to go then you are not bound by the law. 1 Cor 7:12-24. I also agree with what Paul says in these verses.
---Cliff on 12/5/07

Grace is that unmerited favor God gives to us all to bear all things as he gives us strength. I believe that some how some where you knew that you were treading on dangerous grounds but chose not to heed to the signs. That means your responsible to sort it out according to Pauls advice. Not easy but then grace will abound If your frustration doesn't kick in first.
---Carla5754 on 12/5/07

6 yrs ago I lost my hope and backslid. there was no adultery but my believing wife left me and remarried. i didnt want a divorce but my sin was making it hard for her and not fighting hard enough to keep us together. some would say shes to blame, others say its me but divorce is hardly ever one sided and we both made bad choices. i came back to God shortly after but after doing something i know God hates, i wont remarry. i wont put my happiness above what He wants for my life, making myself an idol.
---Kraus on 12/4/07

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The time had come that the WOLF CAN NO LONGER hide among the sheep.
If he is at fault,and you have a right to leave him do it.Let God be the one.
Fruits and Grace is the same thing.
Fruits is the positive and negative
expressions of the spirit.
Grace is a conclusion of these fruits
that conform the image of our spirits.
---Jack on 12/4/07

Excellent testimony.
You can do everything correctly and still end up with surprises. Life is like that, full of surprises.
I believe that to remain faithful in a loveless marriage, without a big show of emotions, is a missionary field.
People want to travel across the world to fulfill the gospel, when for many, all you have to do is go to your own backyard.

I'll tell you, it keeps you on your face in prayer. You learn things about yourself that you never would have in a perfect life.
---lovable_linda on 12/4/07

What fellowship has light with darkness?

When a Christian marrys a WOLF in sheeps clothing. Its not love. Its not marriage.

It's all out war, a very literal battle for your soul, ......except.....YOUR MARRIED TO IT!!!!
---Whisper on 12/4/07

Here is my thing, I married a man that I thought was a Christian he knows the Bible from front to cover, and I meant him in church and now he did a 180 after we gotten married and now I don't know if God sent him to me? But I still love him and I am not divorcing him, but here is my advice wait 1 yr before u marry I wish I did.
---Ann on 12/4/07

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The problem most couples find themselves is they don't seek the face of the Lord before marriage. If you allow God to link you up with your life partner, then you won't be unequally yoked with an unbeliever in the first place. Grace comes in where you are married already to an unbeliever, the grace of God becomes sufficient for you to live with the unbeliever as your cross to bear.
---Jeremiah on 12/4/07

Paul also wrote that if the unbelieving spouse chooses to abide, allow it, or stay married.
Being called in uncircumcision of heart, many are glad that Jesus didn't divorce them before they believed.
---Frank on 12/4/07

A believer should not marry an unbeliever in the first place but there are many marriages where one of a couple has become saved AFTER marriage and the other hasn't. In these circumstances they should not separate unless the unbeliever decides to leave or commits adultery. We should always pray that our unbelieving partner will become saved and let them see Jesus through the life we lead.
---RitaH on 12/4/07

If two sinners get married, and later on one gets saved, that saved person is no longer under the law but under grace. I'm not saying the saved person should divorce their unbelieving spouse. I'm saying that the law was made for the unrighteous, and when a sinners converts over to Christ, they are under grace therefore having a new schoolmaster. Read Romans 6:14-23, and Galatians 3:22-29.
---Rebecca_D on 12/3/07

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That doesn't make any sense, john.
You married the person, unbeliever or not.

The bible doesn't say to divorce an unbelieving spouse, it says remain married and continue being a living witness and testimony of Jesus Christ, that they might be saved by doing so. You married the person, you're responsible for that decision.
---Linda on 12/3/07

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