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Husbands Friend Cooked

I just found out my husbands friend cooked him a dinner for two and brought it to his work. Is their friend relationship getting out of hand? Im confused. Am I wrong to be jealous?

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 ---Amanda on 12/21/07
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Lynda is quite a poet, and says nothing to justify her outrageous claims
---alan_of_UK on 2/13/08

Alan, you are nip nip nipping at my heels but I don't mind...

I can see you like a mirage in the desert, shimmering sifting sands, sparkling in the sun, an illusion of luminescing sea, my eyes see the view, a stranger bearing gifts, beckoning me, promising me a drink of the finest waters. I close my eyes only to find a muddied glass, a sip from a mud puddle, drops of lost rain...
An apparition's greeting, shimmering and fleeting
Dissolves into grains slipping through my fingers

---Cindy on 2/12/08

Cindy ... I have never shown any concern about your whereabouts.
I did ask why you reckoned Rebecca had been at my house.
Also I asked whether you had seen Lynda recently, and you replied that she just been on another blog, but in fact there weas notjhing from her there, so I wondered how on earth you could have known she had been there.
What does PDC mean?
---alan_of_UK on 2/12/08

Rita.. I think Cindy and her friends. whatever names they use, are just trying to wind us up
---alan_of_UK on 2/12/08

Since you are so overly concerned "Alan" about my whereabouts, it's really not the names that give it all away.
I appreciate and anticipate all similarities.

You see, I'm not one of the el groupin. The el groupin collection are collectively driven to drive all opposing views to the PDC off the cliff#1 and cliff#2.

But because I disagree with everything the PDC offers does not mean that I do not care about you, "Alan"... or "MikeM.
I love all of yous guys.
---Cindy on 2/12/08

Yes Alan, I do remember that. Cindy, how is it that someone can 'use your lingo' and be a totally different person but when you think you've notice two people using similar phrases etc. you immediately accuse them of being the same person? Come on now, you cannot have it both ways.
---RitaH on 2/12/08

Cindy ... Of couse we all use the same lingo, 'cos these blogs are for English speakers, but it does not mean we are all the same people.
And we were using English here long before you arrived.
---alan_of_UK on 2/12/08

Alan, it's said that imitation is the highest form of flattery. I've noticed that the names are using my lingo, immediately after I write it. It's positively affirming, I must say.
---Cindy on 2/11/08

RitaH ... Do you remember our Prime Minister Harold Wilson always had HP sauce with his meals?
I don't know if that nugget is on the web ... I expect so, otherwise how could I have found it out, because of course, in spite of my name here, I don't come from the UK (according to C/L)
---alan_of_UK on 2/11/08

Matthew, as Alan has said H.P. is a brand name here also. If you google it (HP Sauce)and click the Wikipedia link you will not only get a description of this very famous condiment but also a picture of the bottle with another HP on the label. The latter HP stands for Houses of Parliament.
---RitaH on 2/11/08

Matthew ... In England, HP is a kind of brown sauce!.. Cindy/Lynda will think I got that info off the web, because according to her, I am MikeM and a woman & don't live in the UK. -
Yes I do know about Hewlett Packard! .. I have one of their printers.
Point is though, I don't need to have a laptop, even though C/L thinks I am going to Vegas.
---alan_of_UK on 2/10/08


HP is a brand name, Hewlett Packard. I'll probably never buy a desktop again. Put in a wireless net and you can move about the house or sit outside. If you really need a mouse, get a USB mouse for a few bucks. Oh you don't have bucks there. Pounds. Or is it Euros?
---matthew on 2/10/08

Thanks NVB ... I was ablr to usr it but the keys were all in funny places, and 5here was no mouse.
Anyway, I don't need a laptop, simce I am not joining everyone else when they go to Las Vegas.
---alan_of_UK on 2/10/08

Thanks NVB ... I was ablr to usr it but the keys were all in funny places, and 5here was no mouse.
Anyway, I don't need a laptop, simce I am not joining everyone else when they go to Las Vegas. Not that Cindy will believe that
Incidently the post from "Lynda" still does not show on theat other blog, so I do wonder how "Cindy" knows she was there.
---alan_of_UK on 2/10/08

Cindy::I read your post "about working out Problemswith Jesus Christ"Thought I'd share a small quip with You just for reflection.It is a rule of Thumb axuiom"If there is a problem I CAUSED IT'if you are able to analyse this you will never have a problem"BlessingsNo I am not crazy But it is true.
---Emcee on 2/9/08

Alan, since I've been at my sister's I have been using her laptop--don't like it! I'll be SO glad when I go home and have my own PC to use! Additionally, this laptop is a MAC, I'm not used to it and the settings are far different than on my 'puter. If you get down the basics you could figure out without too much trouble how to log onto the blogs-we miss you when you're gone!
---NVBarbara on 2/9/08

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Matthew ... You sound dangerously like a scientist!
What is HP, anyway?
---alan_of_UK on 2/9/08


Buy an HP. Had one for four years. No problems. Business and pleasure.

Just don't drop it. Gravity, accelaration and hard surfaces conspire to be life threatening to laptops.
---matthew on 2/9/08

Crystal, if your father was Christian, he would not do such wrong, and if he isn't, perhaps you should allow him to make his own mistakes and in the meantime all you can do is lead your own good life as an example and testimony. By the way there is this reference about those who go astray, where God is saying 'Forget about them' Jeremiah Chapter 7.16. Concentrate on doing the good you can but don't blame yourself if others choose something different.
---frances on 2/8/08

Crystal Clear, I have a lot of struggles with this. I read my Bible and according to it, things will work out for the good of those who love the Lord. You have to trust God. Your prayers were valued by God. I believe God knows all the outcomes of everything, but your prayers are what God loves. He may not answer them your way. It does NOT mean that you are at fault. Quit blaming yourself for the choice of your father, etc. That is the devil's trap.
---frances on 2/8/08

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I have been reading my Bible a lot recently, and found that in some cases we were actually FORBIDDEN to waste time praying for certain situations because it was a case of rebelling against God. Idol worship etc. God won't have you discouraged because of other peoples' free choice.
---frances on 2/8/08

In John's gospel, read about spiritual blindness. The disciples asked what had to be done for the spiritually blind people, and Jesus said 'Nothing can be done for them, LEAVE THEM BE. ' In other words, 'Goodbye.' Tough love. It maybe can work.
---frances on 2/8/08

Yes,it is out of hand.So many relations
have been broken up because of the
intervention of friends and in-laws.
In a relationship one should be able to
please the other,and not let someone else
take away what love is between them.
If one cares for the other their feelings
should come first as to what is required
from each of them.
---Jack_8773 on 2/8/08

Cindy ... I visited my Polish freinds who live in Bristol last night, and tried to use his lap-top .... utter disaster.
I'm not going to get one. So if I was going to Vegas, I could not take one.
When I go on holiday, (furthest ever is Egypt ... no, I did once go to NZ) I get withdrawal symptoms because I can't log onto CN and you probably all say thank goodness for that
---alan_of_UK on 2/8/08

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Cindy ... You say Lynda "was also on Next Two Yrs... only a moment ago... You can find her there, Alan"
That's odd, for she is not there yet. I wonder how you knew that she was on there a moment ago, when her post has not even been published yet.
Strange that like her you accuse me of being everyone else. I will be staying in Bristol, England, for the interim. I don't have the cash or the inclination to go to Las Vegas
Hallo, Lynda.
---alan_of_UK on 2/8/08

She was also on Next Two Yrs... only a moment ago... You can find her there, Alan...
---Cindy on 2/7/08

Heaven knows. She probably went to Vegas with everyone else. I hear the entire el groupin will be going there soon for some fun in the sun. I imagine you'll be headed there, too, Alan. I wouldn't want to miss a minute of the travel diary.
We'll miss you while you're enroute. Be sure to take your laptop.
---Cindy on 2/7/08

Cindy ... Where has your friend Lynda gone?
---alan_of_UK on 2/7/08

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Crystal Blues Persuasion, I see the ever changing miseries, never ending maladies, griefs, tragedies, surgeries, tens of family members dying every other month and a trail of tears so long...
I've prayed, and I know and you know, there's so few real people on here, there's only one person living on misery street.
---Cindy on 2/6/08

I'm not heartless, not at all.
But only one person lets it all hang out and when it's not loveless marriage problems, it's the woe is me, think I'll go eat worms type of miseries. It is the crying of wolf, far too many times, that numbs the rest of us out. If you've ever noticed, no one else mentions their daily blog by blog dramas. We all have to work through our own problems with Jesus Christ.
---Cindy on 2/6/08


I was married for 35 years, happily, until my husband died in a car accident. My three children have given me 9 grandchildren. And there has been no divorces at all in my family.

Prayer has told you very little about me...
---CRYSTALclear on 2/6/08

Mabe she is trying to be a blessing. Why not ask for a motive? Like, "why did you cook the meal and take it to work"? You seem somewhat insecure. Try not to be.
---catherine on 1/30/08

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Crystal, if prayer didn't work, how would I know that behind Crystal is a woman with kids, imagined or real miserable marriage, that needs to forgive others.
---Cindy on 1/29/08

Honey it is very hard to make a crooked place straight. This woman was clearly out of line and your spouse went along with it. That was terrible on his part. He should have turned the meal down and let her know he had a wife who takes care of all that. The hus band is at fault. Something is wrong with the marriage.Either he liked the attention,the woman, or he lacked backbone and could not put her in her place, as he should have.
---Robyn on 1/29/08

Crystal, without forgiveness, prayer does not work. You can do all kinds of outward works, but without forgiveness, prayer hits the ceiling.
Forgiveness is the key to answered prayer. Your faith can be the size of mustard seed and with forgiveness towards others, Jesus Christ will move the mountains for you.
---Cindy on 1/29/08


About three years after I left home my mom and dad were going to divorced. I pray and fasted that this other woman would get out of my father's life. She didn't. My parents divorced. God doesn't step in to fix things. He may guide us through this life, but its up to us to make things right.

If prayer worked don't you think there would be peace on earth?
---CRYSTALclear on 1/28/08

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You can fast and pray, and ask God to intervene, if there is anything going on that ought not to be, God can handle it, without anyone being harmed. He can break down any spirit that is working to bring discord, or any kind of a split. Trust him, and watch him work... provided there is something there to do. Blessings...
---Gayla on 1/20/08

While not enough details have been supplied so a detailed answer can be given, it could be a dangerous situation. If you are confused about this, the best thing that can happen is for your husband to tactfully say, "No Thanks" the next time this friend offers to prepare dinner or even if they bring the dinner, either refuse it or at least invite someone else, (a male), to at least join them if for conversation if not to eat.
---wivv on 1/17/08

If she also works there, it may be reasonable for her to take in a meal for both of them, just as two colleagues.
But if she does not work there, it seems wrong to me,.
---alan_of_UK on 12/28/07

Yes, you are wrong. She (I assume it's a she) brought the dinner TO WORK. That means the purpose of the dinner was TO FEED THEM. (Or maybe to brag on cooking skills. Some people like to show off a bit.)

Now a candlelight dinner in a private booth at a cosy restaurant--THAT would be something to be jealous about.

What should you do? Why, be polite and invite the friend over for dinner at your house, of course!
---Nancy on 12/23/07

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Amanda trust is a decision.
You have to choose to trust or you won't and you'll worry instead.

It's important that you decide now that come what may Jesus is enough for you. If this marriage is the substance of your life you can lose your mind and your life at it's end.

Put your energy into self inspection to see why it's so important (apart from the obvious- what's due to you) that you be the center of his focus. You have to overcome this fear even if what you fear is real.
---Pharisee on 12/21/07

Husband's friend is a cooked goose.
---Chad on 12/21/07

It sounds as if you should either ask your husband to come home at dinner time or start meeting him during his working day and eat with him. He and she might then get the message that he isn't free. If you feel this way about the matter I wonder what others might be thinking, or saying. It might be innocent but it needs to be seen to be so.
---RitaH on 12/21/07

Only you can answer if the relationship is getting out of hand. I would talk to him about this, and if he gets extremely defensive, I would insist on marital therapy.
---Trish9863 on 12/21/07

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