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Both Of Us Having Affairs

My husband of 14 years left me for another woman after I had an affair. He wants a divorce. He had affairs in the beginning but became a good husband I made a mistake. I have repented. Will God Bless his union to her? Should I continue to pray for restoration? I am in so much pain. I am a Christian.

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 ---Nicki on 12/28/07
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Yes to everyone that is asking, we are still married. He has threatened to file for divorce.
---Nicki on 1/1/08

You two are still married. If he's committing adultery, even after you have stopped and have asked forgiveness...especially if you have prayed, gotten right with God, and have been gentle and humble with him about all this > he may not be interested in a real Christian relationship. He was a good husband? Good, to me, means forgiving and staying faithful, including willing to restore you whenever you sin > Galatians 6:1 > be willing to restore him, stay with this, I'd consider. God bless you, sister ! ! !
---Bill_bila5659 on 12/30/07

Getting forgiveness from God is easy, but getting forgiveness from another person who you have offended is not easy. In your case, I wonder if your husband is just using your sin of adultery as an excuse to leave you. It's really hard for me to ascertain based on the limited information you gave. If he has already married the other woman, it would be in error for you to "pray" him back. If he's still not married, you have can try and pray him back.
---wivv on 12/30/07

The wages of Sin are death, you have reaped what you have sown, you broke your covenant you made with God when you married your husband, God has divorced Israel because of unfaithfulness. God can do miracles and restore your marriage, But
your problem is not your marriage, you need to convince God that he can trust you. You need to restore your marriage to Jesus. Because you sold him out just like Judas for
Adultery. Seek ye first the Kingdom then these other things will be added to you.
---exzucuh on 12/30/07

I'm in a similar type situation as you are only worst. Anyway I believe that you should continue to stay in the bible for strength and comfort and continue praying until God's answer comes.(Luke 18:1-8). I've seen some of God's miracles happen in my favor since I've started praying about my situation but I also know that for me trouble waters lay ahead. It hasn't been easy for you no more than it's been for me but you can't give up. Also read 1Peter 5:7-11 and Romans 10:9-13. I pray for the best for you
---vince on 12/30/07

A spouse has the scriptural right to divorce in the case of fornication. He is required to forgive you but not to stay with you. Restoration is always the will of God. Do what you can to restore. If he has left you for another woman or is shacked up with her, God is not in that by any means. I've seen cases like this turn out good. God forgives and so should you.
---john on 12/30/07

"Your situation is much too complicated for just advice from the un-qualified.
---wivv on 12/29/07 "

So why do you keep writing in asking for advice - so you can turn around and write back in to yourself? It's not helping you, and you certainly are not taking your own advice. That is highly evident.
---Mike on 12/30/07

In I Corinthians 13, it says that love is patient, love is kind, Love is not jealous, or boastful or proud, .....and keeps no record of when is is wronged.. Remember, that God forgave us when we were still yet sinners, and that Christ died for us. We are to love those who spitefully use us, and to pray for them. Continue to pray for God's will in both of your lives.
---Willa on 12/30/07

You are very broken at the moment and won't be able to get get a clear picture of where to actually go right now, give your self time to heal and then you may have the strength to work out your relationship with God first and see if it would be worth going back to a broken relationship. Don't listen to those quoting (Deut) about a man not taking back his wife the scriptures are talking to the Jews under Law not us as Gentiles under grace.
---Carla5754 on 12/29/07

It reads like you both need some professional marriage counseling. Make sure it's from a licensed Christian Marriage counselor and not just a well-meaning pastor and/or friend. You should find someone who is a stranger to both of you. Otherwise, the counsellor can't be objective. Your situation is much too complicated for just advice from the un-qualified.
---wivv on 12/29/07

Call Dr. Phil or try the Jerry Springer Show.

Take your husband to a Nascar Rally, have a barbeque.
---Marcia on 12/29/07

A friend of mine has been having an "emotional affair" on her husband. Despite my prayers and endless pleading with her, she contiues to live in her fantasy world.

She no longer respects him, sees him as "dull". My friend exhibits classic symptoms of manic depression. She is completely wrapped up in her own little world.
She is just not herself. So if your situation is like my friends - PRAY, get everyone you know to PRAY, insist on CHRISTIAN marriage counseling.
---Kevin on 12/29/07

Tearing one another down in words, are not only word curses, the are the perfect tool for Satan to cause division and dissension. He hates marriages/family/love - you both need to grasp revelation about unsurrendered souls, if there are strongholds without repentance and healing, nothing progresses forward. Blessings. Romans 5:5
---Virtue on 12/29/07

You really do need godly wise counsel. Arguing is the outward symptom of an inner unhealed area/unmet need/unresolved issues. As cliche as this sounds, woo him back with 'gentle answers' ...turning away wrath (arguments). 'Your' reaction will play a vital part in his moods.
---Virtue on 12/29/07

Seek counselling for yourself, to help you cope for the moments, to help you prevent adding fuel to the fire. When we change, others around us change...and even when we 'think' its not fair, the Lord would say, that we might be the one that needs to change first. Look for the solution in Him, and God will erase the problem in us. You BOTH need communication tools, though for now seek tools for you, so that your peace remains firm.
---Virtue on 12/29/07

Perhaps Menopause is just one dynamic. If not in the middle of 'perimenopause', some women dont even know they are suffering from menopause symptoms. Men certainly are usually 'hopelessly lost' if uneducated about Menopause, when men see women 'emotional'.
However, there are women that use Menopause as an excuse for all bad behavior.
---Virtue on 12/29/07

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The problem is that it takes both parties willingness to reconcile a problem of this nature. And if he desires a divorce as the solution to the problem reconciliation is not likely to happen. At this point you need the services of a competent attorney to show you your options and the probabilities of each develop an strategic plans for each possible scenario.
---notlaw99 on 12/29/07

Though I don't know the circumstance of your infidelity I think your husband should of forgave you on the terms that you forgave him last time in the least.

The word limit may prohibit but you seem to imply that you cheated and he had plan b ready to go. If that's the case this divorce is a shame to him.

Jesus taught us to worship in Spirit and in truth part of that is the way you deal out your liberty according to scripture's many loopholes.
---Pharisee on 12/29/07

But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners, and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.
Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
---James_4:6-10 on 12/29/07

You do not say if your husband is a Christian. I am wondering if he is not because he is not being as forgiving as you were when he had affairs in the early part of your marriage. He is probably very confused because your affair seems to have been at a time when the marriage seemed stable. Perhaps you need to sit down and talk, asking him why he can't forgive you and explaining why you did what you did. No-one except you two know the answers.
---RitaH on 12/29/07

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How in the world would we know?
The entire relationship is a mess.
Why would God bless a mess?
---lisa on 12/28/07

Has he remarried the other woman? If so, then it is no longer necessary to pray for restoration of your marriage.

Right now, you should focus on your relationship with Christ. Get involved in a Woman's Bible study and fellowship with other women. Find an older, more mature woman with whom you can develop a discipleship relationship and ask her to guide you in your walk with the Lord. God can and will heal your pain.
---Trish9863 on 12/29/07

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