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His Affair Produced A Child

My husband just told me that he had an affair and has another child. Would I be in sin to divorce him or try to work things out? We have three kids of our own. I am torn on what to do. I have no one neutral that can give me advice.

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 ---Michell on 2/21/08
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only you can decide what is best for you and regardless of times when it may seem God is far away, he is there beside you. he will see you through this time period. --seek God and his wisdom and he will direct your path. hide scriptures in your heart--my prayers will be with you/family. if at all possible, it helps to have someone you can talk to, even if all they do is simply listen to you(i have been where you are with own hus.--no child resulted tho.)
---dollie on 3/15/08

I'm sorry but am I the only one who read about the affair and the apparently resulting child?
---Mary on 3/4/08

But he didn't tell you he loves the person?

Yes, a divorce can effect the kids. But I understand a marriage needs to have parents who are together first because they love each other...not "just" for the sake of their kids. Children need the example of how their Mom and Dad love each other with joy and know how to relate in marriage.

DO you have real Christian friends and a pastor who does well in his marriage, so he and his wife can help you?
---Bill_bila5659 on 2/28/08

Dear hurting one: I am in the same situation. My staying with him was only on the condition that he get fully committed to God and we have ongoing marital counseling. It's been 18mos, and some days are very hard. But remember God's presence will go with you and give you rest.
---Linda_Hazzard on 2/28/08

Hi Court, well to a point I agree with you: obviously God does hate divorce and what it can do to the people involved. However, last I checked my Bible, it didn't look like He was also very fond of adultery and getting other women pregnant!
---Mary on 2/28/08

I would encourage you with everything that is in you, commit this sin of adultery to the One who knows every detail, and will deal with it appropriately.The Lord says, "I hate divorce!" (Malachi 2:16) It is far better to try to resolve the issues causing the problems, especially if there are children involved. Godly counsel is helpful if you go to someone who uses God's Word as the basis for their advice. Pray for God to guide you in your thoughts, words, actions, and decisions.
---Court7646 on 2/26/08

Hi, if you want it to work out bad enough, there's a need for lots of prayer, I wish you well dear. Myself I would take the cheating husband out with the trash but that's because I've experienced adultery (and a resulting child) first-hand, and it never went away. My ex kept cheating with the mother of his daughter and I finally left.
---Mary on 2/22/08

The way I see it, the choice is yours,
See Dr. Dobson line of books on "Tough Love."
I need more info, but ask yourself:
Is it Scriptural? 1st Cor. 7, Adultery was one of two reasons allowed, not demanded, for divorce.
Is it Spiritual? Done w/ Right attitude, Not out of Anger or Revenge?
Have you also strayed, Is this his excuse?
Have you repeatedly (daily, for weeks) denied him pleasure at home?
Is it VERFIED- W/O Solicitation, Two or more, TRUSTED, CHRISTIANS?
---timotheus on 2/21/08

There is the letter of the law: Matthew 19:9

Then there's the Spirit that spake it from the Holy Father through Jesus. (John 3:34)

We are left with a choice, one that causes us to measure our convictions and standards with the situation and all it produces.

If the situation proves to be to much heartache to bear, there is grace for this divorce, but if one turns to the other spouse and goes to war, the Spirit of the law has been slaughtered.
---Pharisee on 2/21/08

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear, but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
And if children, then heirs, heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ, if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
Romans 8:14-17
---scripture on 2/21/08

You should be seeking God for your advice.
Two or three wrongs do not make a right.
If you have not found your answer with a multitude of counsel and advice, you need to seek God alone for your answer.
---Michelle on 2/21/08

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