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Out Sick From Work

As a born again, spirit filled believer in Jesus Christ, is it right or wrong to stand up to your boss if he is accusing you of being out sick the week after you bury your father? Can I defend myself? Would I be justified? I've never had to bury a parent.

Moderator - Were you out sick or not? Tell the truth to your boss.

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 ---Donna on 2/26/08
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Not sure if this is still an issue or not but I would check into any family leave policies your job might have esp. if it's gov. They should make allowances for the death of an immed. family member. Whether you were physically sick or not, there could be some emotional turmoil that can weaken your body for months to come. Even IF you have abused the system,he should have mercy so he can obtain mercy in his time of need. I would only defend myself if it was necessary to retain my job.
---melann on 4/19/08

Part 1: Donna, please don't be offended, but may I ask a question? How is your attendance normally? Are you within acceptable standards for your company or do you overuse your sick leave? You said you had bronchitis, with a doctors excuse, but how much time have you taken off in the last year because you were sick?

If you have not abused the policy, it may be that your boss is a jerk or that his bosses are on his case.
---NurseRobert on 3/4/08

Part II. As a supervisor, I am responsible for staffing the facility where I work. You cannot imagine the number of people who abuse sick leave. I had one call in sick because she was "too tried from working her other job."

The point I'm trying to make is this. If you are abusing the leave policy (and I'm NOT saying you are) then perhaps your boss is just tired of dealing with this. If you are not, then your boss is dealing with other issues and taking it out on you.
---NurseRobert on 3/4/08

I do not quite understand either. Be honest, ofcourse. I don't believe no sane boss would get upset because your dad past away and you had to attend the funeral. If you lied about it, then I could understand it.
---catherine on 3/3/08

Donna...An attorney is not necessary in this case unless the harassment continues. Being harrassed by a boss because you were out sick a week is not one of the protected areas of employment. My experience tells me that as soon as a nother employee does something the boss doesn't like, he will move on to that person and forget all about you. If this is the kind of place you work, I suggest you find other employment if possible.
---Susie on 2/27/08

Donna...It is possible that you are being overly sensitive due to the death or your father and the fact that you have been sick. Give this some time. What do you expect from an attorney? The Bible says to turn the other cheek, not to get attorneys over every thing that happens in our lives.
---Susie on 2/27/08

Thanks everyone for your responses. Susie-yes I called out sick every day to let him know how sick I was. I could hardly breath from coughing so hard with all that musous in my chest. I did get a doctors note. Someone said I should retain an attorney, that's what I mean by defending myself. I told him the EAP program said, "it's not like your cancary died" and my boss got mad at me for telling him that. WHY is man/bosses so cruel when a woman's father dies?
---Donna on 2/27/08

Much would depend on what you mean by 'boss'. Is he the owner of the establishment for which you work - boss of all who work there, or is he the manager of your particular department? If he is the outright boss I'd say Start Looking For Another Job. If he is your manager/supervisor you could take the matter to someone higher than he is because he might be acting in a way that he has not been given authority to act. I hope this works out well for you, and soon.
---RitaH on 2/27/08

Donna...I'm sorry about the loss of your father. Your boss is probably reacting this way because he has seen these kinds of things happen often. Many times employees take off time and say they are sick when they are not. As far as defending yourself, I don't know how you would do that other than to go to your boss' supervisor about this matter. As long as you did not break company policy, you should have no problem. Did you call in everyday to report your absence?
---Susie on 2/26/08

Hi Donna, I am so sorry hon. :( If you possibly can, I would quit the job if I were you. I've been abused by bosses and it's not worth the money for all the havoc the stress plays on your body and mind. Your boss sounds like a royal jerk.
---Mary on 2/26/08

Donna, I was sick in body and mind after each of my parents died. I couldn't sleep nor eat, I cried a LOT, I was in shock. My Dr. suggested that I rest and go through the natural responses we have when someone close dies.
---NVBarbara on 2/26/08

Oh yes, I was extremely sick with Bronchitis. I called the doctor for medicine and gave my boss a doctors note. He is still harrassing me because I was out the prior week burrying my father. I was so sick, I slept the entire time and never even took a shower (embarrassed to admit that) but that's how sick I was. He is angry with me, abusing me, and he is harrassing me by not letting me move from my desk. I am really scared and trying to grieve over the loss of my father, but can't.
---Donna on 2/26/08

I don't really understand the term 'out sick' unless you mean what we call 'taking a sicky' in the U.K. That means saying that you are sick when you are not because you don't want to go to work. I'm guessing that you took time off because you were grieving so much that you couldn't face your colleagues just yet and a good boss would understand that. You will need to explain clearly why you were not in work and I hope that he will be sympathetic. Unfortunately you might find that he isn't.
---RitaH on 2/26/08

Were you out sick enough to see a doctor? If so, ask the doctor for a note explaining this. If you just were having a personal day, tell your boss that. No two persons are going to react the same when they lose a love one so there would be nothing wrong with you taking personal days. If your boss can't understand this, that's their problem, assumming your company allows personal days. Just make sure it's a legitimate absence.
---wivv on 2/26/08

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