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March Humor Blog

We are getting too bogged down in serious matters, how about a HUMOR BLOG?

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 ---NVBarbara on 3/9/08
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To Shira4368 Hope you are ok. Well,to be truthfull, Jesus help even the most ha!ha!dence.. anyway,

finally got it all worked out.. Text me up on facebook

Name change..
Elena Lizette DaCosta

Yes! Ought to be easier to find me..
Let's give it a go In Jesus name. Hope to hear from you,and others Simone, wonder if you bk from vacation?? Mary ( in Oregon)how you doing? Love of Jesus! Thanks! Moderator- means alot to me.
---Lidia4796 on 10/30/13

Emcee ... We are praying and thinking of you!
---alan_of_UK on 4/7/08

Emcee: May you soon be feeling better, you are in my prayers tonight.
---sue on 4/6/08

Glad you can still communicate, Emcee. Get well soon.
---frances008 on 4/6/08

So sorry to hear this Emcee. You are in my prayers. I hope others will see this and be in prayer as well. God bless 'Dad'.
---NVBarbara on 4/5/08

NVB::Old soldiers never die they simply fade away.I am sending this to you from Hosp-ital.Came here for a rest with an old complaint COPD.Hope to be up and in the sadddle again.
---emcee on 4/4/08

Thanks Tom, gents these days are few and far between!
- NV Barbara
This is priceless coming from you, NVBarbara. Very, very, funny.
---frances008 on 3/26/08

Thanks Frances, this is a humor blog after all! However my quote is true, gentlemen are rare in this day. I know you meant this to insult me, but it just goes to show your hatefullness. I am doubly blessed when attacked by a spiteful spirit.
---NVBarbara on 4/4/08

Susie, feel free to e-mail me at barba5354.
I would be happy to hear from you.
---NVBarbara on 3/31/08

How Dogs and Men Are the Same:

Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both tend to smell riper with age.
(You know who you are! LOL)
---NVBarbara on 3/30/08

Thanks Tom, gents these days are few and far between!
- NV Barbara

This is priceless coming from you, NVBarbara. Very, very, funny.
---frances008 on 3/26/08

NvBarb...Please email me at susie7768. Thanks.
---Susie on 3/26/08

Some times when I lay in bed at night and look up at the stars, I think to myself: `Man, I need to fix that roof!'

'Deep Thoughts'
---NVBarbara on 3/21/08

Thanks Tom, gents these days are few and far between!
---NVBarbara on 3/21/08

barbara,any gent would let you into traffic,without a fluff.
---tom2 on 3/20/08

nvBarb, Ha ha, that's funny.
---Eloy on 3/20/08

We're given extra protection Eloy! People do things for us 'cause they think we're dumb!
Little do they know that we are much brighter than they are! If I am driving and get stuck in bad traffic, all I have to do is look pitiful and fluff my hair and 99% of the time a man will stop and let me into the traffic lane! WHO'S DUMB???
---NVBarbara on 3/19/08

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nvBarb, It would be nice if we blonds werew given some extra protection, because the brunettes seem to make alot less fewer mistakes almost like they have a "clever" gene that we are missing or something.
---Eloy on 3/18/08

There was some minor crime where we live in this tiny town in the Pacific North West this week. Unfortunately DNA testing didn't help much, they ALL match! Some people have lived here a long lifeguard at this gene pool! :-)
---NVBarbara on 3/18/08

MikeM, Carol Burnett supplied the voice of the kangaroo. I loved the Dr. Suess books as I shared them with my son so long ago. The movie is a hoot!
---NVBarbara on 3/17/08

Fellow blondes unite! I'm one as you know Eloy. I just ask that everyone type slowly so we can get the joke! :-)
---NVBarbara on 3/17/08

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Although I may not get them all, maybe because I'm blond, but thank God for jokes.
---eloy8876 on 3/17/08

Thanks for reminding me Tom: what does a blonde say when you whisper in her ear?: "Thanks for the refill"! :D
---Mary on 3/17/08

Now! I've always heard that puppy story this way. The owner took it to a Catholic Church first and the Priest refused. Then he took it to a Methodist Church and the Pastor refused. Then he took it to a Baptist Church and the pastor refused. When the owner said he was willing do conate $10,000 to the church where the puppy was buried the Baptist pastor said, "Well, why didn't you tell me the puppy was a Baptist."
---Susie on 3/17/08

I am relieved to know that I am not the only Cel phone blogger and learning patience lol!
---Kella3336 on 3/17/08

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A Merry Heart doeth Good like a medicine. A heart full of laughter has no room for hate. From the fullness of laughter shines forth the light of love. Laughter and love together make the face to shine and joy abound. Delight thyself in the Lord and with love and laughter living in us the Lord is delighted in His Children. If God didn't want a smile on our face,He wouldn't have put muscles to pull our lips back.
---Darlene_1 on 3/16/08

ok, what do you call a brunette standing between 2 blondes? an interpreter
---tom2 on 3/15/08

Finally a blog here that isn't repetative after the first post.
---dan on 3/15/08

I having kids was compelled to take them to see a kids movie. As a parent, you got to grin and bear it. It was a film about an talking elephant who hears a 'Who.' What sent me rolling on the floor laughing was a female charactor, a Kangaroo. If you see the film, watch carefully, she clearly represents 'certain persons' I often make comments about here. Watch her carefully, and try not to giggle.
---MikeM on 3/14/08

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Ghost:: I heard that one only the puppy died a week later and the guygoes back to the priest for a refund.Boy was he surprised when he heard they used the money and bought a statue to remember the Puppy called it sequel.He looked in the garden, the dog was standing on 3 legs close to a tree- there was no hose but the grass was green.Believe it or not.
---Emcee on 3/14/08

NVBarb, I can type fast enough on this phone. I go to my daughter's when I want to use a PC, about once a week. I work on my personal blog there.
---John1944 on 3/14/08

I liked what Groucho Marx had to say-- it was something like this: That he would never belong to a club who allowed people like him to belong!
---NVBarbara on 3/14/08

John1944 (older than me! HA!) You need a 'puter dude!. Using your cell must take ages to blog!
---NVBarbara on 3/14/08

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==JOKE==A man walks into a Catholic Church with his puppy and tells the preist "Can you bless my puppy?" the preist says "I'm sorry sir but we dont do that here." saddly the man starts to walk away and says "I guess I'll take my puppy and this $1000 dollar donation down the street to that other church." Hearing this the preist say "My son let me see that puppy again :-)) HAHAHA
---Ghost on 3/14/08

My favorite humorist of all times was Will Rogers. He said, "I belong to no organized party. I am a democrat."
---Susie on 3/14/08

Will Rogers said, "Our government protects aliens, drunks and U. S. Senators." Will Rogers died over 70 years ago.
---Susie on 3/14/08

NVBarb, I never had a profile here. I can't navigate it on this cellphone I'm using to blog. 1944 is my birth year.
---John1944 on 3/13/08

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John:: I just did! did you leave out the "T" in that big word Ive heard of automatic, guess I must have that idiosyncracy.PPFM
---Emcee on 3/13/08

Emcee, the dictionary describes a 'sourpuss' this way..'A person who is habitually gloomy, sullen or miserable.'
---NVBarbara on 3/13/08

"Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place".
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
---NVBarbara on 3/13/08

I lost alot of weight due to all the surgeries I have had within a year and 1/2. So I went out and bought me some clothes that fit me. I put on a dress to get ready for church. My 6-year old daughter said, "Mom that dress is ugly". I said Kaitlyn it is not ugly. She said Yep mom, it's ugly. Leave it to kids to say the darnedest things.
---Rebecca_D on 3/12/08

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Amen! So glad to see this blog where we can show that we have the JOY of the Lord. If you can praise the Lord through your heartaches and pains, then you can make it through anything.
---Susie on 3/12/08

Laughter is good for you John! It messages the liver and does some cleaning at the same time. Find ALL the chances to laugh that you can! Mine generally comes in the morning when I look in the mirror!
---NVBarbara on 3/12/08

Hey John1944, why has your profile been removed? Mine was, I had to do it all over again I'm now 'barba5354'.
---NVBarbara on 3/12/08

Emcee:: it is just an idiomatic expression here.
---John1944 on 3/12/08

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NVBarb, bless you. Let's pray for more laughter, genuine laughter from the heart. Eccl. 3:4 says there IS a time to laugh, so let's find the time!
---John1944 on 3/11/08

Sourpuss ::something that tastes like vinegar or lime.PUSS:A cat ,Hare or a Girl
John1944.I dont see the resemblance - Humour me.Does that mean all men are out?
Poor Girls thank god all here are ladies.
---Emcee on 3/11/08

A large AMEN John!!
---NVBarbara on 3/11/08

Donna :: Was the question about "How to understand your Husband at all times " I know SOME GOOD men pray in a like manner.but the answer is always "Well may be later when I have the answer"THIS IS a REAL TRUE JOKE, I must have heard it from Rural Cafe!!!!Time does play tricks on ones mind.
---Emcee on 3/11/08

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That reminds me of a bumper sticker I once saw:

"I miss my ex-husband
(but my aim is improving)"

---StrongAxe on 3/11/08

another good sticker- Eve was framed.

My ribs hurt when I read that one.
---Pharisee on 3/10/08

NVBarb, most all of what we find around here is humorous. What's funniest is that so many want us to believe that God is as much a sourpuss as they are!
---John1944 on 3/10/08

When I asked God a question this weekend, He turned to Jesus and said, "Son did I hear her right? Did she really ask me that? Jesus said to the Father, yes Father, she really did ask you that. God turned to Jesus and said, "Son we really have our work cut out for her, don't we." Jesus replied, "Father, what do you mean "we?" Do you have a mouse in your pocket? The point of this joke is that God NEVER gives up on us, even though sometimes we lose track of Him.
---Donna on 3/10/08

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A Highly advanced alien creature came to the president and warned him that planet earth was about to be destroyed.
The President balked, & Objected and offered many proofs of our own advancements, and good people, All to no avail.
Finally the president mentioned Jesus. The Alien said "OH YES!" WE honored him, gave all that he asked and he blessed us beyond belief, What did you earthlings do with him?
President... "Uh...We killed him.
Allien... That does it!
---timotheus on 3/10/08

Oh MikeM don't be such a downer. If you don't like this blog, go gripe on another.
Either buy a ticket and take the ride, or step out of line.
---NVBarbara on 3/10/08

A woman sang an old hymn, "The Balm of Gilead", at Bible Study one night. After the service, a teenager shyly asked what a "bomb of Gilead" was. My how times have changed.
---Susie on 3/10/08

I went on holiday to Switzerland and wanted to hear my echo, and I kknew I was in for a bad time, when I shouted "hello" snf back came the message "This service had been dicontinued".
---mike8384 on 3/9/08

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We sometimes get silly on other blogs, but on this one that's what we want! Pull up a chair, have a 'slice' of Elder's coffee and weird out!
---NVBarbara on 3/9/08

Good bumper stickers!
'I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.'
'I'm Out of Estrogen And I Have a Gun!'
---NVBarbara on 3/9/08

Forced humor is not funny, but really very boring.
---Mike_M. on 3/9/08

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