Praying For A Good Wife
I am getting very frustrated. I prayed and prayed for a good wife since I was 18 (or younger). Now I am 36, and was never married. God knows that I need someone in my life! Why is he not helping me? How should I pray for good wife? What should I do? Do you have any innovative ideas?
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---tom on 3/9/08
Helpful Blog Vote (40)
born://The government gives women strength against their husbands. The courts have empowered women over the man.// I think this is because the men who made the laws were focussed on protecting their daughters only and have succeeded in making life miserable for men.
---Adetunji on 7/18/13|
I waited 41 years single and celibate. My mother said I didn't have to do anything --that God would do all the work. Then I married the wrong woman from the other side of the world just for words. Marriage has been hell. Better unhappy married than unhappy married. The NT teaching is that it is good not to touch a woman (1 Cor 7:1) AND that it is better not to marry (Matthew 19:10) and that a widow is happier to remain as she is. (1 Cor 7:40) Ecclesiastes 7:28 while I was still searching but not finding I found one upright man among a thousand, but not one upright woman among them all. Proverbs 31:10 A wife of noble character who can find?
---bike on 7/17/13|
Hello & yes! I agree brother I think for the most part he is correct.I had my experience with D.V. and since being there listening to the men.I came to understand their side,their needs .Some mother',s
for different reasons, ( some have learned how to play the system) kids get the brunt of her wrath. I grew up hurting too, There are good dads who really need & want, suffer behind NOT being able keep in contact close with their kids. I learned alot as a volunteer, it made me re- think the system needs, "Work!"
mothers/ or relatives shut out the real fathers.. it shuts out a lot of things!
There are men who are decent, really DO deserve be able keep a healthy happy relationship with their kids! Amen.
---lidia4796 on 7/17/13|
born I can see how you think women are more vicious than men. my son divorced his wife. she was filthy and the kids had lice and scabes. he went to court to get them and the judge said no. they are grown now and both are just like their mother. I'm not saying my son was any better but he did keep the kids clean when he had them. I picked lice out their hair all night one night. had to spray our whole house and put things in the dryer to kill them. he didn't get them very often after that because I can't stay up all night and he's working. I don't have one bit of "want" to get married ever ever.
---shira4368 on 4/11/13|
Married 50 years, WOW! that is becoming a thing of the past. People are waiting later and not staying married. Of women who rule and the wimps who let them, consider that the system is slanted to favor women so women can say no to husband, no to child, and women can take the children away from the husband and the system supports her in whatever she does. Domestic Violence Advocates more often are femnists who hate men representing exclusively women against the man. It doesn't matter what the woman does. Men are profiled the aggressor. Women are profiled the victim. This is marriage now days. How is a man to stand against the government? The government gives women strength against their husbands. The courts have empowered women over the man.
---born on 4/11/13|
born, I wouldn't marry anyone either. I was married for 50 yrs and 3 days and lost my husband. marriage is a two way street. I know some women who try to control their husbands and some wimps let them. my son has a wife that tries to be controlling but my son is not going to be controlled. she wanted me to keep my grandson but she wanted to tell me what he could and could not do. I told her to come get him. at my age, a schedule is hard to keep. God bless you born.
---shira4368 on 4/10/13|
I think most women now days want to wear the pants. They want to usurp the authority over the family and rule their husbands. Marriage is really a bad deal for a man. After marriage, a woman may not sleep with her husband and women decide the family size and whether to have a baby or to abort or to refuse the husband or to use oral contraceptive. The man becomes an object for the woman. Consider Matthew 19:10 and 1 Corinthians 7:1. These being true, will you really wish to marry?
---born on 4/10/13|
born, wow, that is a sad deal you had. love seems to outweigh everything else. these days you need to do a background check before getting involved with anyone. I am sorry you had such a bad experience. she will have to face God on judgement day. maybe God will send you some special lady in the future. God bless you.
---shira4368 on 4/9/13|
I looked at words, words were false. It is better to marry for looks and money, then when words are false, you have something to fall back on. I was enticed into marriage by a woman on the other side of the world who offered me the Bible. But words did not need to be true. I was single and celibate 41 years, then someone offered me Isaiah 4:1. How could I refuse? But it has been a most celibate marriage. Before marriage she manipulated me with sweet words, kind words and generous words. After marriage she manipulated me with threats, divorce and never seeing the kids again. All my money was thrown to this one woman. Better unhappy single than unhappy married.
---born on 4/9/13|
Yeah...it's always the man's lack of ability to see.
I understand little, but don't you know anything about women?
---aka on 4/8/13|
If you guys really wanted a lady to marry, you know as good as I do the first thing you look at us her looks. It is just as hard to find a husband that is a child of God as it is for you to find a wife that is a child of God.
---shira4368 on 4/7/13|
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
[ Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character ] A wife of noble character who can find? She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
GOOD LUCK IN FINDING A GOOD WIFE.
while I was still searching but not finding I found one upright man among a thousand, but not one upright woman among them all.
---bike on 4/3/13|
Don't worry you will eventually get someone that's for sure.I am also praying for a guy and been praying for sometime now. I am still pretty young, but just feel I need someone close to me and whom I can commit to in the future.It can be hard,but we have to have faith in God.
---Hewit on 4/2/13|
Johnny_Williams, THAT was real encouraging....
---Gordon on 3/25/13|
mark, that happens a lot with men and women. I have a friend that caught his wife and her fella on the sofa when he came home early from work. that is sad that so many people are like that.
---shira4368 on 3/25/13|
i feel very much the same way you do, hang in there. i myself was married at one time before she cheated on me, and i was a very good, loving and caring husband that was very much committed to her before this happened to me. i am 58 years old, so you can just imagine how i feel. we have to be strong, and think very positive too. sooner or later the right woman will come along for both of us. Peace, and good luck too.
---Mark on 3/25/13|
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tom i think you are still young.so there is no need to worry mostly that you are a male and can still have a child no matter what age you marry.pray expectantly because it says that those who doubt will not received.[James 1:6 -But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.]
---mj on 6/9/11|
Look, you're on your own here. I've prayed for relationships not to end, prayed that God would send someone my way and I tell ya it just doesn't work! I don't understand it myself but God just doesn't get involved in these kind of things. You can set around if you want to, waiting on God. Time will pass and you'll grow old all alone and lonely. Get on with your life!
---Johnny_Williams on 6/8/11|
Hey I am in the same boat.. I have deceided to pray that I am the women God wants me to be.. and still praying for him.. Rememeber things are on Gods timing not ours..God knows the desires of your heart and I believe He will fulfill them if you focus on being who God wants you to be instead of trying to find her.. she will come your way.. just be patient
---vanessa on 6/15/09|
I mean, its a tough thing to face, but have you ever thought that maybe God doesn't want you to be married? Its possible He has another plan for your life that best serves Him. Right now I am dealing with feelings for a girl who isn't saved. I am 18, but I know that seeking a relationship with this girl isn't what God has planned for me. So, the best thing I can do is deal with the hurt by trusting God and focusing on witnessing to this girl instead of a relationship. If God has something planned for me with her in the future than great, but I can't forget that God comes first in all things. So stop worrying about finding the right person.. yes, pray, but focus on God, your "first love"
---James on 6/5/09|
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Prayer is a vital weapon that we use as Christians in our daily walk and life. To get a Christian wife - it is good to pray, yes and to seek also. We are told to ask, knock and seek. We are in partnership with our Lord and Savior - the part we have to play/do, the Lord will not play/do that part for us. His part is to set mechanism/s into place to answer our prayers, our part is to seek among others. You have prayed and are praying - are you seeking? When we seek, after prayer, we will find. The word of God is true.
---marwu9684 on 6/2/09|
I heard something really great recently.If you want a wife and you believe that God will be the one to bring you to her, then you should be seeking God and not the wife. If you follow Him, He will lead you to her. Stop focusing on what you want and instead focus on what He wants for you. Your compulsive thinking about this subject may be the very reason you haven't found her yet.
---Vanessa on 6/1/09|
Maybe turning your thinking on its head might help. Pray instead that God will make any internal changes needed in you so you will be a good husband.
I am sure that God has the right person for you, but maybe your internal idea of what is 'right' and His idea might differ a little.
There might be other things too that need changing. Being a christian means all of us are a continuing 'work in progress'.
I know I'm not perfect yet. Just ask my wife.
---Des on 6/1/09|
I am a divorced,Christian male who is 47. I have been praying that the Lord would prepare a loving Christian wife for me because I am very lonely. Also,a Godly marriage is the only Biblical solution that the Lord has for our loneliness. I know the Lord will answer my prayers and at the right time He will bring the right woman into my life. It is my prayer that the Lord will work mightliy in your life and bring you that very special person He has been preparing for you!!
God bless you all!!!
---john on 6/1/09|
I have an innovative idea. Go to Proverbs 31:10-31. Choose the characteristics that are important for your wife to have-that will suit your personal needs. Pray those scpritures, you have chosen, until this woman manifests in your life. John 1:14 The Word became flesh.
---Denise on 3/17/09|
Are you putting God first in every area of your life?He always is working behind the scenes,you dont know that Hes not helping,I bet He,s kept you pure all these years.God knows axactly what you need, your right....better than you do, we lean on our own understanding..Pray always that Gods will be done in your life, Lord only if its your will that I have a proverbs wife, do I want one...YOU decide,Ill remain a confident, loving man of God, till then.
---Dorene on 11/1/08|
I"m glad to hear you're praying for your future wife, As Am I. One thing I tell the guys in my ministry is if you're going to ask God to give you something, you need to put your fair share of work in to it when necessary. Many times I see Fellow Christians use prayer as an excuse for lazyness, and fear. I know that this is a little unconventional with Christian Advice. I don't know your situation, but "How many women have you asked out?" If the woman is Godly, and Actractive..Go For it!! If there is an area that your scared in, Pray for courage. God usually stears us like rudders on ships, If the ship isn't moving He kind of can't stear.
---Jon on 10/24/08|
To Whosoever has an ear to hear?
All that is GOOD in the world will be found in the Will of the Father. But unless we have a heart to do the Will of the Father, we ourselves will not recognize the Goodness of the Will of the Father in the people & things around us.
In your prayer to God, pray for a heart to do the Will of the Father so that you may desire & recognize the Good Will of the Father.
Believe me, Tom, they (Loving Good Women) are all around you. You just need to gain a heart that will allow your eyes to open and see the Goodness of the Lord in them ........and you can gain such a heart if you have ears to hear the Word of the Lord that I'm sharing.
---Shawn.M.T on 10/13/08|
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Tom....I have been praying for a soulmate/marriage partner, since I became a Christian, for 24 years...and I have not met him yet.
I pray for him each day and am waiting on the Lords' timing. It has been said that sometimes we look too hard and we should just back off and not concentrate on it too much, then they will "appear" soon enough.
Sometimes it is how we pray...just kneel at your bed, cup your hands, put your request for your soulmate in your hands and pray to Jesus for His grace and blessings. Pray for that special lady as if you already knew her.
Hope that helped you...I do that often.
---Alica6896 on 9/10/08|
God is not in the hatching Matching and dispatching service.So pray all you wantBut the choice is yours saith the Lord.YOU pick em, you become 2 in one flesh. just keep my commandments.NO splits irregardless Keep my commands if you desire to be celibate read matt19:11-12.I made the rules you play by them.Do not inveigle me for what you choose.Pick wisely and for the right reasons.and remember both man and woman Have my attributes. God cannot be divided.
---MIC on 9/9/08|
I am a 30 year old, single, virgin woman, who has never been married. Check out my Christian profile at lesla6369 if you are interested. God bless.
---Leslie on 9/9/08|
Yes I do! What are they Jesus, my innovative ideas?>>>Stop praying. And trusting instead. "Get your eyes on me", saith the Lord thy God.
---catherine on 9/8/08|
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It's hard enough just finding a good housekeeper who will go grocery shopping and do the laundry. I'd be happy with that.
---ralph7477 on 9/8/08|
I know exactly what you mean im 40 and i still cant find my prince charming all i find is toads who use me and drain my checking account
---michelle on 9/7/08|
There are a lot of hungry men and women whom want to be married, but the Bible says that unless the Lord builds the house they build the house in vain, therefore let God do what is best for you: for if you rush ahead of God and do not wait upon him, your house will be built upon sinking sand and great will be the ruin of it. Marriage is not the Commandment for every soul. Jesus said, "Not all take this word, but to whom it is given. For there solitaries, which thus born from the mother's womb, and there singles, that made by mankind, and there singles, that have abstained themself for the realm of heaven: he that may take, take he." Matthew 19:11,12.
---Eloy on 9/1/08|
God knows exactly what we need and when we need it. He is preparing the person He has for you, as well as preparing you for that person. For the Bible states in Prov 18:22 that He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtain favor from the Lord. So, I know my husband is on the way. God is preparing him for me. See the Bible says in Romans 4:17 that we are to speak those things that be not as though they were. In Hebrews 11:1 it states that now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not yet seen. So when you get up every morning, thank Him for the wife He is preparing for you. It will come to past. I am doing the same for the man of God He is sending to me.You be blessed, Barbara
---BARBARA on 9/1/08|
I believe Andy has the right idea.You picK your wife based on Gods Principles.God, ain't gonna drop a wife/husband in your lap! Because later you may blame Him, if it did not work out to 'your' satsfaction!!! You live with HIM/HER you choose.after the die is cast in "I DO" there is no going back or I told you so!Hence the phrase"Marry in Haste and repent at Leisure"
---MIC on 8/29/08|
Yes, stop praying>>>>>Pray instead for heavenly goods.
---catherine on 8/29/08|
however you have been faithfull in asking, yet the verse continues LOOK and you shall find. God will not drop a wife out of heaven. go and find your partner in Christ.
---Andy on 8/29/08|
pls to blogger.... i'll like to know this
what actually have you been looking for in a good wife?
---patience on 7/22/08|
Keep praying and in the meantime, Paul instructed singles to use their free time as singles to work in ministry. Many Christians have met their spouses that way also. Another fact to consider is that in the Bible, there is no dating or courtship. We have taught our children that dating is immoral, because it displays intimacy that belongs only in a marriage, and they have had no problems accepting that. Paul reminds us that touching another woman who is not your wife is a sin. Biblically, we should use godly parents to help us find our spouses. If no godly parents, then godly elders in your church. Also use your singlehood to establish your career skills and finances before marriage. Lord Bless!
---Ron on 7/3/08|
And in God's Perect Timing not ours,we may think that certain things are best for us,but maybe God has other plans for you.Have you asked Him.
He also says"Be still and know that I am God"
Just maybe God's plan for you is bigger and all for His Glory.Praise Him He is so full of Mercy for us.
---Gabby on 7/1/08|
God is there and God does answer prayers and i proudly testify that. I also started praying for the right partner when i was about 18. I wrote my prayer down and i listed each and every characteristic of the person i wanted in my life. everyday i would take my book and say my prayer. I even asked for a sign.continue praying and i will help you pray for the kind of person you want. Please do get back to me and we will chat more about this. I wish you all the best and God Bless.
---Thabi on 4/11/08|
Cheryl, i'm in support of your comment. i also did specify to God exactly what i wanted, even the appearance of the person. i even asked for a sign for me to know first time that this is the right person. i also aked God to give me 4 kidz, 2 boys and 2 girls. i've got 2 boys and 1 girl now and i've got no doubt that child will be a girl. Brother, continue with your prayers and ask for a sign so you will know first time that this is the person for you.
---Thabi on 4/11/08|
I feel for you Tom, but I have to say I LOVE BEING SINGLE!!! :) I've been married before and most marriages I know are somewhat or largely unhappy so to me, us singles are really blessed, but that's just me. :) God bless ya, married or single :)
---Mary on 3/17/08|
Tom, "Mail order brides" were popular "back in the day" but realize that God is not in that business. Get up off your duff and go find yourself a mate!
---1st_cliff on 3/15/08|
I have heard and read that there are people who in prayer have placed an order with God, specifying what they wanted to be true about the ones they'd marry, and ones say God gave them people each one described.
I myself "like" to trust God to decide and to prepare whoever He wants for me, if He does, however He pleases, and He can surprise me (o:
And the lady love-friends I have had have been very special surprises, if not my wife (o:
---Bill_bila5659 on 3/14/08|
Hey! We "good wives" need all the prayer we can get. While Tom is praying for a "good wife" how about praying for all of us "good wives".
---Susie on 3/14/08|
Ph4:11 In whatever state you find yourself,there in be content. Make up your mind to make the most out of your life without always looking for a wife. Also 1Ti6:8 & Hebrews 13:5 all these are about being content with what you have and remembering that God will never leave you or forsake you. God has heard your prayer,now start praising Him. Praise God for what he has done,does everyday,and is doing in the future.
---Darlene_1 on 3/13/08|
Thank you Emcee...prayers are always welcome! Just pray that God's perfect will be done in all things in my life. :-)
---Holly4jc on 3/13/08|
God has taught me many things in my time of waiting for love. The biggest lesson is that I need to take my fulfillment in Him, not my future spouse. Psalms 37 :4 says to "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart". Understand that it means that when we seek God for fulfillment our desires align with His will for our lives. Committ this desire to God and seek Him for your fulfillment, whether you ever get married or not you will have a joyful and fulfilled life.
---Di on 3/13/08|
Holly::I would like to help you but don't know how.My Prayers are however with you.my add is available ask NVB,if you should care or decide to write.MC
---Emcee on 3/12/08|
StrongAxe, married people do 90% of the work at our parish. There are also way more service opportunities available than there are people willing to fill then in the RCC, at least around here.
---John1944 on 3/12/08|
hi, i have to tell you it may noit be easy but God knows ahead what is best
my daughter is twenty nine and still searches too
will pray for you
---barba7969 on 3/12/08|
I can see that you have received lots and lots of advice. Some scriptural, some not. All with good intentions, I imagine. All I have to offer you is a hug (((((HUGS)))))
God is faithful and WILL come through for you. Never get tired of doing what is good, my friend.
---Michele on 3/12/08|
Tom...I am in the same boat. I've been praying for a Christian husband for a very long time too (been divorced almost 18 years). What I have found is that it doesn't matter much of how you pray or what you pray, if you really want God's choice for you in a mate, it's a waiting game. It's God's timing, not ours. When God feels the time is right for both parties, He will cause it to happen. "Not by might, nor by power, but by MY SPIRIT" says the Lord. (Zech 4:6)
---Holly4jc on 3/12/08|
Then again, on the flip side, Roman Catholicism doesn't provide that kind of support either, for people who want to serve in the church but DON'T want to be single.
---StrongAxe on 3/11/08|
Tom::While I do not doubt the sincerity of You praying for 18 years for a wife it is interesting to know what your prayer consists of.You have to live with the woman of YOUR choice, not God:so if you have been praying for a 'perfect woman' like wise she may be looking for a 'perfect man' and now you leave God with no other choice but to remain silent! WOULDNT YOU if you were in His place?If the boot or glove don't fit you must resist.JC
---Emcee on 3/11/08|
You have been praying for a good wife for 18 yrs. Come on now. I know you have met some nice,christian women in those years. Have you prayed and asked the Lord for help-firs?.Then go out and meet nice christian women. Carry yourself like a christian gentlemen,don't compromise your christian values and you should draw a nice,sincere christian woman for marriage. If you are sincere about finding someone,it does not take 18 years to do so.
---Robyn on 3/11/08|
Stop looking for a woman. In time, the right one for you will come along. When I was married before, things didn't work out so we got a divorce, I don't regret it. Cause I learned from that. And my husband (now) came along. And we will be together for 10 years. I wasn't looking for another relationship. But we hit it off the first time we met.
---Rebecca_D on 3/11/08|
Just hang in there. Keep your faith and sight on the Lord for He who knows our coming and going, also knows our needs and addresses those needs accordingly...Maybe not to our "human" satisfaction...but, address our needs...he will!!!!
---Frank on 3/11/08|
I prayed my husband in. I specifically asked for certain characteristics, even that he could Cook and Sew, and own a four bedroom house out in the country. God answered every request and yes, he had all those qualifications, and we were gifts to each other for nearly 20 years. He just passed away. He was 65 and I am 53. He died loving God and me and our children. Be specific then you will know when you find that person. Ask God to remove any conterfiet copies too.
---Cheryl on 3/10/08|
Jack how do you KNOW Tom doesn't go to YOUR church?
---Pharisee on 3/10/08|
I have been a widow for almost 19 years and I feel as though it's not the Lord's will for me to re-marry. I feel as though God has other plans for me. I have prayed for a a good Christian gentlemen friend, but when I prayed I prayed for God's will to be done in my life. So far He hasn't come through. I think acceptance is the big answer here. On the other hand I have reminded God that I'm not getting any younger. God has given me acceptance.
---Norma7374 on 3/10/08|
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Instead of praying for a good wife, you should pray for the Lord to reveal His will for your life, single or married. It may not be His will that you marry, OR it may be His will that you surrender this matter to Him and wait on Him.
---Trish9863 on 3/10/08|
Throw all of your "innovative ideas" about God out the window.
Have you ever fasted and prayed with a sincere heart towards, for God?
Have you ever cast all of your cares, prayer requests upon Him, with a knowing that He cares for you?
---Cindy on 3/10/08|
"The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."
And, "there is none righteous but God".
Everything about God is perfectly balanced, Just and Righteous.
Forget all of your innovative ideas when you're seeking the Just, Righteous, Holy God.
---Cindy on 3/10/08|
i hope i dont sound too forward in saying this but the question is would you ever place a wife above God? Does our Heavenly Father Know all our needs before we ask? I crave for a husband too but i know He knows our hearts and our needs before we ask and therefore beleive He will provide if it is His will - not mine.
---rosalie on 3/10/08|
Tom, you know that you CAN choose a wife don't you?
There are a lot of folks that pray for stuff and then never prepare their lives for what they ask. So how ready is your world for a wife? Answer that and you may find out why you feel God is failing you, he may indeed be protecting you.
Do the tough work, get a mirror and get brutally honest, and if you find you've a lot to offer, it's time to walk in the faith of what you're asking for and start ACTIVELY seeking a wife.
---Pharisee on 3/9/08|
In Prayer Time - ask, "God, is this the season of preparation for Marriage?" If not, ask, "God, how can my energy and time be spent serving you more?".
---Paul on 3/9/08|
As one who has not succeeded at getting married, myself . . . I'll offer a few things, just in case > enjoy any good woman you know who is a good Christian sister, meaning appreciate who you do have, whether you get married or not > in Hebrews 13:5, we have, "be content with such things as you have." The context of this seems to apply to material things, but I apply it to mean be content with all I have in each relationship...thankful for the good I do have. Also > (2) >
---Bill_bila5659 on 3/9/08|
Hi, Tom . . . good to see you, again > (2) Be careful not to push or rush, now, just because it has been a while since you have started trying to get a wife. (3) I got in trouble because I had my list of what I wanted in my wife, and it seems the devil brought a woman who had or could counterfeit each thing I was looking for. What do you mean by "good", Tom? I'd say be careful not to make up your own standards for what has to be true about your wife > it's God's choice.
---Bill_bila5659 on 3/9/08|
(4) I'd say, "Don't shop while you're hungry." You do need to be patient, so you don't make a hasty choice. Learn how to make sure with God about things, so you can do this well in making sure about any lady you consider. Take your time, enjoy the process with God. (5) You say, "innovative ideas" > I'd be careful about using a method or using psychology > if you are ready for God to trust you with a real Christian sister...no methods or *human* psychology will be needed.
---Bill_bila5659 on 3/9/08|
You say, "God knows that I need someeonee in my life!" Actually, God knows what's best for you.
It could well be that His perfect plan for you is that you remain single. Ever think of that?
Alas, Protestantism in general and pop-evangelicals in particular don't provide the proper spiritual and emotional context for those God wishe to be single. Pity.
---Jack on 3/10/08|
It sounds like you've spent a great deal of your life praying for this one thing. Maybe God wants you to focus on Him more. I'm going through the same thing (21, and hoping to meet my soulmate, too). God made me realize that I'm just not ready to be a wife (I'm a bit selfish). Maybe you aren't ready either. Listen, God knows everything you need and all your heart's desires. Trust Him, and let it go. And then, when you are not expecting it, you will meet her.
---Ebony on 3/9/08|