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Concerned About Widows

Commands to help widows are found many places in scripture. Why not just as concerned for the widowers? If I die before my husband, will my pastor be just as concerned for him as he would be for me?

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 ---Geraldine on 3/25/08
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I think the responsibility is not the Pastors concerning your spouse as it is yours. You have to make sure your spouse knows how to cook,clean, and house keep.

He'll miss you (God forbid) anything to happen, but he'll make a MEAN Sunday Meal and smile with glee remembering how he carried on when you were teaching him the ropes how your object lesson wasn't nagging and looking after you the same as he does himself paid dividends when a/b your gone!
---Carla5754 on 5/9/08

He'll rest assured he didn't put any pressure on you to serve him until you dropped. Husbands have a responsibility to themselves to support in every way to make their own work light after the death of their wives a bigger responsibility to not have any regrets is to recite the scriptures on husbands loving their wives as their own bodies(DEEP scripture).
---Carla5754 on 5/9/08

After my wife, died I have taken a more active part in my Church and I have felt the warmth and concern by their greetings. The attitude Of "Don't give a darn" Dosent exist many have passed but the rest always supportat every service.I even serve at mass at my age.I can only speak for RCC not christian. I still support my Kids as they do me.Grief is a personal thing and one has to survive.We Have a converted Christian pastor who suffered the same fate.He was embraced without exception.
---Emcee on 3/27/08

Emcee ... There is a certain amount of truth in what Mima says.
Sadly, the person who is hurt by rereavement can be a bit of an embarrassment in a church where everybody is expected to be unceasingly and completely joyful.
And I was told I should be glad my wife had died, because now I would be able to serve the Lord more completely (no thought of the increased burden of now being the only parent to our children)
---alan_of_UK on 3/27/08

Mima::I do not agree with what your christian findings are. But its different when someone looses His/her mate, in our church community.However I read your mind and see how your mind transalates with the christian society.
---Emcee on 3/27/08

This is a society thing. I just heard, a knowledgeable, experienced Christian person make this statement." The dirty little secret about churches and Christians is that most don't give a damn about the lost or disadvantage". Search your mind, was he right or wrong?
---Mima on 3/27/08

NVB::I remenber the good times and her good qualities,how she put up with me,but wonder why, some other women are not like her so I am happy with what I had and thank God. If I feel as if I am being derailed or decieved I remember the look.I thank God and go on my way smiling with Joy.How about you Alan?
---Emcee on 3/26/08

NVB ... Men are not so good at networking, so we get more lonely than widows & we are not very good at looking after ourselves, so we get more dishelved.
I still find it difficult, and it would be good to meet someoen new, but not so easy to do that!
---alan_of_UK on 3/26/08

Alan of UK lost his wife at an early age, I'm sure it was, and still is difficult for him. How have you coped Alan? Do you have a support network?
Emcee is also a widower, how do you gentlemen deal with your loved ones being gone?
---NVBarbara on 3/26/08

Great question.In our society, men or women who are left behing have about the same capability of caring for themselves. The Church should be very vigilant in it's care for either. Most of this care will be coming from people who themselves will need it someday. It's the resposibility of us all to care for the needy.
---john on 3/26/08

This is for all of us. My mother in law who is a widow was about to leave her church of 60 years because of the lack of visitors and attention she was getting. She tried to get programs started for this but to no avail. I asked her if, when she was younger and still married if her and her husband did the things that she was expecting people to do to her now. Things got quiet. I left it at that.
Lets all make sure we are doing what we are supposed to be doing while we can.
---john on 3/26/08

Geraldine . . . I would think it would be good to have a pastor you know well enough so you know how he will do things with you or your husband. You might get to know him (o: Or, if one of you dies, you might be very surprised to find out how caring and good he is with you who stay here. Most of all, I'd say be about *you* supporting others in need, and God will take care of you.
---Bill_bila5659 on 3/26/08

You've asked a good question, Geraldine. Remember that in Biblical times, women didn't have as many options as men did.

I can't help wondering the grief and support needs of widowers are taken as seriously as those of widows (which I do not underestimate) by society in general and churches in particular.
---Jack on 3/26/08

Notlaw is absolutely correct. These days, if a man or a woman is left alone, or with children, there are support systems in place for them all. This did not used to be the case. As for how churches would respond, I think this would depend very much on the members and pastor of every individual church. Within our churches help should be there for anyone in need, for whatever reason. Some needs are more obvious than others but we are told to make our needs known.
---RitaH on 3/26/08

Women had little status in the ancient world. If a Jewish widow did not have a brother of her husband that would marry her and she is no longer desirable as a wife due to age or infirmities, she is in a bad state. She has no property rights, she no longer has a dowry. Judaism recognized these problems and took a degree of action to deal with them. I was not a great support system but far better than their contemporaries cultures. In the modern world there are better support resources for widows in need.
---notlaw99 on 3/25/08

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