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Family Of Men Who Cheat

My husband is a Christian God Fearing man who came from a family of men who cheated. I made him angry four times in our marriage and each time he went out and smoked cocaine, picked up a woman off the street and took her with him to a hotel to smoke and fornicate. What should I do?

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 ---Claudine on 4/2/08
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The next time he goes off on you like that: have his bags waiting on the front porch(home) or at the sleazy hotel where he conduct his sleazy business. See if the ----- he fornicates with, wants him when they are done. I doubt it.On the other hand. If you allow him to come back home. Please get your self checked for STD'S before absolutely,having, anything to do with him(sexually). Have him agree to marriage counseling and drug rehab. A very tall order for him to handle.He will probably balk and threaten you etc..If he does not follow through, he would have to find himself another address. I think I might just call it a day and give this man up. That's me. Life is too short to be dealing with this type stuff, from a grown man.
---Robyn on 5/27/11

Claudine's husband sounds almost as bad as king David.

Of course these bad behaviors are no guide as to whether a person is a Christian or not.

God's knows peoples hearts.
---Haz27 on 5/27/11

Poor Claudine. I feel for you. This man you have is not really a christian. Are you serious? Or if he is a christian, he needs to be mentored/discipled really badly. He needs to be delivered and set free from the demons he is battling. We all have them.Perhaps a good christian counselor or pastor can be of help to you and him as a couple. You,also, need to ask yourself some deep questions like: is he a good overall husband?A good dad,provider? Is he worth keeping for the long haul? Only you can answer those questions and then act on the answers.
---Robyn on 5/26/11

Whatever the reason for his anger doesnt give him the right to fornicate. The truth is that in a truly loving relationship a man should be able to control himself and remain faithful despite any hormonal urges to produce offspring. The theory of man being predisposed to cheating does not hold water because while it may be true, there is no excuse for not being able to quell these urges.
---Margaret on 5/25/11

That is NOT a god fearing man. I can tell you that.
---wal_rev on 10/21/08

My dear sister, i am sorry for what you are going through but i as a married woman can never advise you to divorce or leave your husband, most married woman have this type of problem your own is 4 times and u even know it.I as a married young girl have gone through countless cheating stories with my husband and i use to cry and plan how i will leave.when i thought i was finally tired god touched my heart and i realised that leaving him was nt the best answer for our problem. PLs try to pray from your heart to god cry out to god and just ask god to change your husband and i promise u it is your faith in God that will turn your world around. do you know god hears the prayer of a woman? If god can change my husband yours will change 2.
---Adorah on 8/14/08

Claudine, first of all, as long as you tolerate this type of behavior, your husband is going to continue to do this. No one made him do this it all boils down to choices. He made the choice to do drugs and commit adultery. Please do not continue to be a doormat for this man. Talk to a Lawyer and divorce him. Move on with your life. God does not want you to stay in a relationship such as this. God Bless!
---Cynthia on 5/29/08

This woman has admitted to saying she has made her husband mad, by saying all the males in his family cheat. And he went out and done drugs and cheated on her. Why is it that the man gets all the blame? I mean yeah it was wrong for him to cheat on his wife, but it sounds like he done this out of retaliation. Two wrongs don't make a right, but this woman is partly to blame as well. She already labeled him before he done any of this. There are two sides to every story, and then there's the truth.
---Rebecca_D on 4/5/08

D i v o r c e Him!
---catherine on 4/4/08

Get checked definitely. Get a lawyer to excercise your legal judgements. Forewarned is forarmed. Pray that God will sustain you and keep you close and work in his life(hubby's). State this to hubby: (not IF you but) You WILL Go to therapy (detox/rehab) or I will leave. If you take accountabillity for your addiction and disrespect for our marraige, I will support you. If you decide not to then I will move on without you. Be a man and grow up or say goodbye.
---nicola on 4/4/08

DON'T let him touch you! Both of you need to be tested for all STDs! See a Dr., see a lawyer!
---NVBarbara on 4/3/08

I applaud what you've silently shown us: your love for your husband and commitment to your family's welfare, I have to say that part of that is doing well in his commitment.

The message needs to be sent even at the cost of his pride or standing in the church, that what he has done is cruelty toward you and the children.

The four he's told you about may be the tip of the iceberg for all you know. A desperate man will say anything to win your trust falsely, enabling another "slip."
---pharisee on 4/3/08

Your husband has a drug problem and an adultery problem, and you have grounds for divorce because of it. I would get tested for HIV and see a lawyer.
---Trish9863 on 4/3/08

Claudine: What should you do?! Divorce him! Okay, well. not really. you should talk with your pastor and you husband and seek counseling. You can not change your husbands behaviors. He has to do that on his own. If he truly loves God, he will keep his commandments and Honor his wife.
---Debbie on 4/3/08

I don't think that I will ever understand why men endanger themselves, and their families, with drugs and affairs.

A man who is a "real" Christian, and truely "fears" GOD, would never do those things.

Yes, he might be tempted. Many men are to some degree, though some don't want to admit that. They need to make a serious decision:

(1) Do I want to do what is best for others? OR (2) Do I want what is best for just me?

He should be choosing option #1.
---sag on 4/2/08

Looks as though he is using the "you made me angry, it's your fault I did this" angle. I am sorry to bring this to light, but a Christian God Fearing Man, does not do what you are saying he does. Evidently "he" doesn't FEAR GOD nearly enough. My husband will look the other way before he would ever put himself in that position. He "loves" God and "fears" what being disobedient means, to God.
---pgfdottie on 4/2/08

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I hope you don't have any children. (This is the part that I will get jumped on about) but he has committed Adultery not once but four times according to you. GET RID of him. He is toxic, and not good for anyone. Having a serious drug problem is another reason you need to get away from this.Don't make it about his family, that is just another lame excuse. God loves you, you need to love yourself as well.
---pgfdottie on 4/2/08

I cannot understand why you describe him this way. "My husband is a Christian God Fearing man who came from a family of men who cheated." Would he describe you as a Christian God Fearing woman if you did those same things when he made you angry? We all make our spouses angry sometimes I'm sure but most people's response to someone who made them angry is not what your husband does. After 3 times I don't think I'd have hung around for a 4th.
---RitaH on 4/2/08

First of all, he can't be a God-fearing man or a Christian if he does things that are illegal. Second stop making him mad. Because it sounds like your hanging the fact that all men in his family are cheaters over his head. You to are partly to blame for him going out and cheating because you are putting him into the same category as the rest of the men in his family. It seems as though as you cursed your marriage.
---Rebecca_D on 4/2/08

YOU need to apologize to your husband for any hurts that you caused him.

HE needs to repent of all his wrongs. Including the cocaine, womanizing, and cheating.

I would seek a pastor or counselor to pray over both of you. Improve communication in your marriage. Break any sinful generational habits, like cheating.

This all sounds so simple, but it takes a lot of pray and work. I hope that you and your husband are committed to doing what is best for your family.
---Augie on 4/2/08

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I would say admit he's not Christian and God fearing, and call what he does adultery, since it's not fornication. And deal with why you married him. It was your responsibility to make sure with God about if and who you marry. And go to a real pastor who can tell who belongs together or not and won't pronounce a couple unless the Holy Spirit notifies him that they are chosen by God for holy matrimony.
---Bill_bila5659 on 4/2/08

1. Why are you making him angry?

2. He can't be TOO God-fearing if he acts out like this.
---Jack on 4/2/08

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