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Financially Help My Kids

Should Christian parents help out (financially) non Christian adult off-spring who get themselves, foolishly, into debt. Is it better to leave them face the consequences of their foolishness and allow bailiffs to move in if necessary?

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 ---RitaH on 4/15/08
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Take a lot under consideration. Is he a hard worker? He is still your son or daughter. I mean we all make mistakes. So, I say as long as he learns and doesn't make the same mistake over and over again and you are able to help, then I say use some good judgment, and yes help him. Remember, use good judgment.
---catherine on 4/18/08

From being months old, children learn by themselves how to manipulate parents with their tears. By submitting to their desires you are giving them more and more power over you, and control of your life. It is very bad for them of course.
---frances008 on 4/18/08

Hasn't anyone heard of "tough love?" It isn't easy saying NO to your child with tears in their eyes but hey, better the tears in their eyes than yours.IMHO
---1st_cliff on 4/18/08

Geraldine some of today's 'kids' get themselves into such high debts that parents would have to remortgage their homes to pay these debts. That might be going the extra mile (or several) but what sort of lesson will that give? Also who will help mum and dad pay their bills in old age when they still have a mortgage and only a pension to survive on?
---RitaH on 4/17/08

This question could be turned around. Should Christian adults ask their parents or in-laws for financial help when they get themselves in a bind? Seems like many times these grown kids complain about their parents and in-laws until they need something from them.
---SusieNArizona on 4/16/08

Matthew 5:41: "Whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with them twain." And some of you would not go one mile with your own kids, to "teach them a lesson." Cold!
---Geraldine on 4/16/08

If you can help out any at all you should do so but also strongly point out how foolish it is to be irresponsible with money and maybe read out the riot act should they get into that kind of debt again assign them to the nearest debt counseling dept.
---Carla5754 on 4/16/08

Foolish is exactly how this adult daughter has behaved. The debt has been incurred for no sensible reason, no goods to show for the spending and debt collectors calling. My cousin, the girl's mum, is at her wits end because bailiffs are threatening to call. She's bailed out a different relative before and said "never again" but is finding it really difficult because when you've done it or one you are 'expected' to do it for another. I've suggested she doesn't.
---RitaH on 4/16/08

We are instructed to help those in need, not those who have foolishly got themselves into debt. Help out with food and clothing and give some comfort and good advice, but don't bail out their debt.
---john on 4/16/08

I have a friend that keeps bailing her kids out and they are so ungrateful and they just keep doing.
---debba6884 on 4/16/08

Her daughter has over drawn on her checking and stuff and knowing she has no money knowing that mommy and daddy bail them out.
---debba6884 on 4/16/08

They both have jobs and live at home and they are adults 20 and 21. They know they live above their means that mommy will help don't think that daddy likes it though but he doesn't say anything.
---debba6884 on 4/16/08

I am in agreement with the rest if they need it because of medical and stuff but not when they live above their means
---debba6884 on 4/16/08

I will not help out. Our girls know that. So helping a kid out that lives above their means doesn't show them anything but they keep doing it and don't care.
---debba6884 on 4/16/08

They don't even pay room and board so they get to spend their money the way they want and mommy and daddy pick up the slack for it all. I think that tough love needs to be shown there. I know I wouldn't keep bailing my kids out like that and they know that. Her kids are just using her but she won't open her eyes to it. Just listening to what she says you can tell they don't care and keep doing it because she will bail them out.
---debba6884 on 4/16/08

now helping is and may at times be good ,or bad, depending on the as mentioned loss of job,or health issues are self explanatory,the ones that are hard like them just living beyond their means need to be brought to light.especially if they keep coming to you to bail them out.
---tom2 on 4/16/08

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Let them learn the hard way, and maybe next time they'll know better. It is okay to give help with food/gas. But don't put yourself in debt just to get them out of debt. Their big people, let them handle it the way us parents has to. They won't learn if Mommy and Daddy always comes to their rescue when they do something foolish. What if they were arrested for drugs or alcohol? Would you bail them out or leave them in jail and suffer the consequences? If you bail them out, where is the lesson?
---Rebecca_D on 4/15/08

what did the father do in the parable of the prodigal son?if you have daily contact ,theres nothing wrong with giving advice to your grown children,if they want it and accept it they will implement it.if not they won, will to choose,given by God.
---tom2 on 4/16/08

If by "foolishly" you mean your children are short of funds because they spend foolishly, show love by helping them have a chance to be more wise. Only if criminal activity is involved should you refuse to help the children God put in your care.
---Geraldine on 4/15/08

I don't think there's a set rule for all cases. Each parent has one's own relationship with one's children, and their understanding about how they do things. So, I'd say a parent can pray and find out with God what to do. God knows each child and what is good. He can personally deal with each parent about what to do.

Generally . . . if the child is choosing to keep on not taking action to get out of debt, then the person is choosing the consequences. You might help with what is needed, though.
---Bill_bila5659 on 4/15/08

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Adult children should take care of their own finances. Parents should never get involved unless there is a medical emergency or loss of a job which wasn't the kid's fault. My sons were always told that if they got themselves into trouble they would have to get themselves out of it, including jail. It works.
---Susie on 4/15/08

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