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Leave My Husband For Attention

I am a Christian, my husband says that he is but I wonder. My husband is mentally abusive, curses, acts out in public. I want to leave for a couple of months to get his attention. Our pastor wants to counsel him, and he is on meds for his moods. Will God punish me if I leave?

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 ---Crystal_Wagoner on 4/28/08
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Crystal you are another woman who does not understand her role in life or in marriage. Why did you even bother to marry to begin with? Will God punish you for what? Wow! You are an adult woman who has freedom of choice. God never said we could not leave our marriages. If you leave you are to remain single or be reconciled to your spouse. But even divorced persons or re- marrying now.Even preachers are re-marrying but that does not make it right. If you catch your spouse in an adulterous affair, you are free to remarry, in that case.
---Robyn on 11/1/08

A christian is know by the fruit we bear. Don't sound like your husband has been delivered,perhaps,saved. There is a difference. He needs deliverance. His fruit is rotten.Leaving your relationship for a few months is not going to solve anything,honey. It may make things worse. Try to stay in the home but voice your feelings to him and see what changes can come from this. Once you leave home, he may find another, and you are only playing/teasing and could lose him,for good.My honest opinion: he sounds as if you need to ditch him in the nearest trash can. A loser.
---Robyn on 11/1/08

I WISH we could talk on the phone! I left my husband for 7 weeks and came back. We are a better couple for the risk I took not 'to get his attention' but to have him realize that his behavior (and my reaction to it)) was destroying a 33+ year old relationship. I cried, argued, sought legal and medical help & court options. I prayed about what to do and went to counseling myself after a hospitalization that was over a "near nervous breakdown". After two years I called a center who knew who I was. They knowing I was competent advised me to "get out!". Try these things first and if nothing else works call the abuse ph#.
---Pamela on 9/17/08

My sister tried to live with such a man, and it nearly destroyed her. Having watched this for as many years as I have, I am inclined to say. Go. By your leaving, your husband, may very well, decide he would rather change, than to live without you. God did not make anyone a doormat for another. Nor did he condone abuse, of any kind. You can love him, and pray for him, from a distance, and you can be upfront about exactly why you are leaving. Make it plain. Some men can't understand where a woman is coming from. Your sanity and your well being is worth caring for. God be with you.
---gayla on 8/17/08

There a story about the Good Samaritan and a important lesson about the sheep and Goat, what is expected of the wife towards her husband visa versa look up the scriptures online and then decide.
---Carla5754 on 7/14/08

No, God won't punish you, cause your mind will punish you. You say that your husband is on medicine for his moods, if so then why not accept the fact that maybe he needs more help than what he has and maybe needs a different type of medicine? Why leave him when you can pray for him? We all act childish/foolish at times. If you run just because things gets bad, how will you handle situations if they would get worse? I think you need to examine yourself instead of putting all the blame on your husband.
---Rebecca_D on 5/22/08

I'm sorry to tell you this but your actions are as equally childish as the question.
Running away from home is something little children do for attention.
Until you grow up, these type of attention getting manuevers will get you a timeout in the sandbox. Maybe your husband needs an exorcism.
Big girls do cry, but they don't run away from home. All of your troubles will be waiting for you when you return
---Marcia on 4/30/08

Will God punish you if you leave? If you are a Christian who obeys God, you know how God satisfies us with His peace to do what He wants. ARE you a Christian? Never mind if He will punish you. If you love Him, do what He has you doing in His peace.
---Bill_bila5659 on 4/30/08

I'm wondering why you married him. IF he was wrong like he is now, and you married him . . . this was your fault. And if whatever had you marry someone like this is what still makes you tick . . . this can still make you so you don't do what you really need to do. So, I'd say, FIRST be honest with God about yourself. God bless you to check yourselft out.
---Bill_bila5659 on 4/30/08

Proverbs 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness,than with a contentious and an angry woman/man. Proverbs 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man,and with a furious man thou shalt not go. Your husband needs more than "get his attention". Don't let a Pastor counsel him,get him to a Psycholgist or other Professional Therapist,most Pastors aren't trained to deal with something this serious. Yes get out,before mental abuse turns to physical.
---Darlene_1 on 4/29/08

First off, Crystal_Wagoner, it is not your place to decide who is a Christian and who is not. This is precisely what Matthew 7:1 forbids. After all, do your own sins mean you're not a Christian? Why should his?

Next, it sounds to me like your husband is ill. If what he does and says is the result of his illness, this reduces the moral culpability (if not totally remove it).

And as was said, maybe he needs his meds regulated or new meds?
---kumquat on 4/29/08

Part 2:

I would be more inclined at this point to consider it a medical problem, rather than a spiritual one. It could be demonic only if normal remedies don't work. Give the meds a chance to work.
---kumquat on 4/29/08

What will you do when you get his attention? Do you believe you can change these negative behaviors? You will never be able to change him. I cannot speak for God but I do know that HE does not "play games". If He is not prompting your actions, then it probably won't work. It is best to pray to God and let Him handle this matter. You do not have to put up with abuse. If you leave, it should be "for real" and this man might learn something but games will make it worse. Blessings:)
---jody on 4/29/08

If your husband is mentally abusive, curses, acts out in public, there is some kind of demonic activity going on with him. You can't counsel demons. He needs The Lord God to set him free from the chains that bind him. God will not punich you if you leave. Who's to know if he will physically abuse you by hittng you or worse? Get out of there now. You don't have to file for divorce, just separate from him.
---donna8365 on 4/29/08

I can sympathize with you, but i want to caution you to examine your motives. We may seperate for fasting and prayer, in other words to seek God/draw closer to Him...then we can see more clearly. To seperate for other reasons, as with "good" worldly counsel, is often manipulative and thus of impure motive. I've been guilty of that myself, so bore no lasting fruit. Bless you.
---christina on 4/29/08

Please see that your husband gets to his doctor ASAP. It may be that his meds are not working right. God Bless!
---KarenD on 4/28/08

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Really have my doubts that leaving for a couple of months will have any LONG LASTING results. Your pastor may be of service in counseling your husband in spiritual matters, but not really certain how successful he would be in dealing with marital matters unless he is a marriage counselor. Of course, any success in this matter will really depend on rather your husbands wants to change.
---wivv on 4/28/08

I can sense that your intention is not to forsake him altogether, but for restoration and that's an important key. You should talk this over with him (1 Cor 7:5)
I strongly urge that if you do this you keep communication open and always use great caution before speaking.

Ecc 5:2 Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.
---pharisee on 4/28/08

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