My Husband Will Not Work
I know what the bible says about men who do not work-provide for their family, but not sure what scripture says about the spouse and what they are to do in that situation. My husband does not work or is willing to work. He has reversed our roles in our household, not by my choice but by his acitons.
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---miche4754 on 5/27/08
Helpful Blog Vote (107)
A temporary separation would force him to grow up & get a job to support himself. I believe in 'tough love' with actions that do not support & encourage family members continuing sin.
---Hope5979 on 2/2/11|
Did you marry a role, or did you marry a soul? Perhaps he would be happier married to a wife who loves him.
---Eloy on 1/31/11|
Why do so many women complain about their husbands on these blogs?
---Cluny on 1/31/11|
My husband has basically been out of work for three years. He seems to think that people in his industry have talked negatively about him and made it impossible for him to get a job in that industry. Problem is, he hasn't faced the realization that he needs to change his career.. He has not even been able to collect unemployment in almost a year and though it might bother him inside, he doesn't do ANYTHING about making money. He takes care of his ailing mother and uses it as an excuse to not be able to look for a job. I can't handle this by myself anymore.
---Lee on 1/31/11|
Im in the same boat.
Not only does he not want to work but takes drugs and makes it out to be my fault that he is at home.
I work,do the house stuff plus the kids,the attitude is just so sick.
How will this man pay for the hurt he is causing me n will him paying reduce my pain?
---Ashma_hajat on 12/9/10|
what exactly was you husband self employed with prior to his get rich quick endeavors?
after THREE very long years of watching him selfishly and recklessly destroy your financial gain it is about time you move out on your own
in 3 years he has consumed more than 400K????
that is SICK and foolish
most families of 3 get by on less than 60K combined each year!!!!
move on and rebuild your life and your finances
---Rhonda on 12/2/10|
We've been married for 21 years. 12 of them..raising kids. We were both working...up until 3 years ago. I sold my business for $35,000 to get money to pay bills,an inheritance of $370,000 and my husband,self employed, sat back on his laurels and didn't work...(He was trying to "get rich quick" with various MLM business') we had to use all this money to pay for bills. Now, we have drained the savings, retirement and are now on food stamps. I have gotten a job, but he hasn't and tries to blame me for his faults. Says there isn't any work out there, cuz he doesn't want to do anything that isn't "graphic design" As a Christian woman...do I let him drag our family into the streets? or get out now and let him fend for himself?
---Renee_Holden on 12/2/10|
You say He has caused this role reversal? i honestly don't think it is solely His fault.
the equal rights movement,played a large part in the change of societies roles and "gender specific" no longer applies...
Your great grandmother,grandmother,and mother fought long and hard to get You equal rights,Enjoy!
---kevin5443 on 11/23/10|
Keep praying about it. God is soverign.
---Maureen on 11/24/10|
Ok, so my husband was let go from his position in March 2009. He has been getting unemployment ever since, $406.00 every 2 weeks. I work from home part-time after my hours were downgraded at my current job. We make enough to pay bills and live, but there are times when I just want to strangle my husband for not working. We relocated to Florida in September thinking jobs might be better and he promised me once we moved here, he'd start looking for a job. It's now November and he's only applied at 2 places. What should I do?
---Marie on 11/23/10|
All I can say is shame on you, Higgins.
---Mary on 11/11/10|
I am in the same boat with you. My husband always has some reason such as don't like the hours or job....not enough pay. He said he would do Mr Mom...but I end up doiing clothes or dishes. Bills, groceries, homework, bathrooms, sweeping....he "just worked so hard" but never gets to it. He is usually in his PJ's by 4 ~5 in the afternoon. If I say anything he gets mad. He saya he never complained about my housekeeping.. however, I have always worked at least 40 hrs a wk and sometimes held 2 jobs..... I am about to loose my mind. ANY SUGGESTIONS?
---rose on 11/10/10|
Wow! Women want it both ways...don't they! If they stay at home (which they should) they want respect and acknowledgement that they are worth more than $50,000 per year for their domestic efforts and contributions.
However, if their twisted sisters, who saturate the workforce, take opportunities away from her husband, such that, he stays home, he becomes relegated to a worthless bum and infidel and because he doesn't "work", his wife feels he shouldn't eat either. I can't be sure, but I am glad that men don't treat their stay-at-home wives with the same contempt. But, it is a woman's world now, so we can expect more of the same.
---Higgins on 10/11/10|
Sounds like he is a user, I say put him out and let him stay at the shelter to see how it feels.
---lady_v on 10/8/10|
My husband is kind and anyone who knows him thinks he is kind and generous. But..he is self employed and works part time at best. He has lot's of ideas he never follows through on and since we have been married our roles have gradually been reversed. I come home and he is cooking dinner, he has shopped and taken care of the dog. Our house is half finished he can't bring himself to do any work at night that one might consider 'man's work', he doesn't mow the lawn, take care of the cars, etc. although he knows how to and is good at these things. He says he worked all day and doesn't want to work at night. I pay the bills so I am not sure what work he is doing...it makes me so very sad.
---Georgia on 10/5/10|
You should let this guy go.
---Ron on 10/1/10|
if it has been more than a few years leave him
once a couple of years goes by complacency sets in and reasoning threats counsiling don't change a complacent persons mind
if you can support him when he is NOT WORKING you can simply support yourself (kids etc) ...seek legal separation not divorce
give him a year to see if he gets a job and becomes responsible again holding a job for a year
set expectations for him to contribute to savings goals etc if he meets them then seek counsiling to restore your marriage
---Rhonda on 9/30/10|
I too have a husband that will not get a job. I work and he plays internet solitaire and watches game shows. I have thought out all the possible clinical depression, self esteem issues that may be involved. Be they as they may, I have my own depression, anxiety and self esteem issues to deal with. And I have 2 grown children and 2 grandchildren who count on me to be the rock. I have no leftover energy to babysit. Godly, Christian or not, his problems are his to face and deal with. I got all I can do taking care of me.
---Jo on 9/28/10|
//The Bible says that a man that doesn't work is worse than an infidel//
a few years ago, i lost a very good job for reasons that were beyond my control. in the next few months, as i would get another job, my kid's mother would abandon the kids and me and i would lose the job because i had to care for the kids. then, after losing three or four jobs, i refused to work. i could not keep her from coming and going. her name was on the deed. she would "somehow" convince the local authorities that i was the problem. and she convinced the bible-believing church that I was attending, that i was not willing to work. They called me an infidel.
most of the times, the substance of things presented are not what you first see.
---aka on 9/7/10|
I have been with my husband two years and I can honestly say that he is lazy....instead of his working at McDonalds, he rather not work at all and live off me, who is living off credit. I am maxed out on all my credit limits and he still refuses to work, unless the employer pays him his worth....whatever that is? lol
Man o Man, I know how to pick'em right!!
---Tiffany on 9/7/10|
My husband hasnt worked for 18 yrs. Before, he would have jobs, leaving for silly reasons. My son has grown and in Uni. He has good grades due to my husband's efforts. He's 20 & never worked either. I feel miserable and joyless. Working from home, my husband sits downstairs always complaining about his life. He tells me how much money to transfer for bills. I want to get away and relax but always have to worry about the situation. He tells me he cant work as he has been injured. I am afraid to leave (why? I dont know, it keeps me in this situation) I am financing my son. I am developing all sort of diseases , diabetes, high cholesterol and low thyroid. I want to take care of myself.It is a terrible load to bear. What to do?
---alison on 9/3/10|
Has he been checked out medically? maybe he has a thyroid issue. I'll pray for you and believe God will take that burden off of you , please go and get the chest pains seen about. God Bless
---Patty on 7/23/10|
2 THESSALONIANS 3:10 - ----- WE commanded you that if any would not WORK neither should he EAT.
---Richard on 7/21/10|
OMG!! I thought I was the only one going through this situation. My husband is a kind Christian man.. but.. he does not and has not worked in over a year. I was recently laid off from my job and now the only income we have is my unemployment. I feel burdened and I'm having chest pains more frequently! I'm trying to keep my vows!! Please pray for me!
---SoTired on 7/19/10|
The Bible says that a man that doesn't work
is worse than an infidel, New testament.
I would definitely try to get him into counseling, because, you need to have money to live on. Marriage is 2 people working together. Not just 1 person working on the marriage. Maybe he has some kind of post traumatic situation? I don't know but best
to do the counseling route.
---Lea on 7/10/10|
Just wanted to say my prayers and thoughts are with those who have spouses who refuse to work. This comes straight from the outer pits of Hell. It puts an untold amount of burdens and stress on the other spouse. The family cannot stand long under this type pressure. Having to face a situation like this is H--l! And when the roles reverse, it won't be long. Perhaps the unemployed spouse could receive some type welfare benefit, until he/she can find suitable employment.It is almost impossible to make it on one paycheck now. We are living in terrible times,right now. God bless all who are passing through this.
---Robyn on 7/7/10|
My husband will not work. I have asked him over and over again to work, look for a job, apply for unemployment, apply for disability, start your own business, go cut somebody's lawn, do anything as long as it legal and moral. But he has not and will not. I don't know what else to do. I think the Christian blogger Chris might be right when she shared what her mother did - lock up all the food and only let the children eat. I think I have no choice, but to try a modern day version of that suggestion. Any help others can offer, please. Any men out there, I would like to hear your advice, too. Thanks, Larry Original - I heard you too loud and clear.
---Kimberly on 7/5/10|
I have a niece that her husband wont work and is lazy. They are over their ears in debt due to him not working and morgaged their house and credit cards out of sight. He left in the middle of the night one night and said he went walking to talk to God. He was reported missing and was found the next afternoon in a swamp sitting on a log in waist deep water. No explanation other than talking to God. This is a guy that wont even cross the street to get the mail! She had him committed a couple of months ago to get help and he snowed the doctors and is back at home and sitting on his bottom not working as usual. She cannot leave the kids with him because she is scared. She is confused and scared of being alone. She needs help!
---Ruby on 6/30/10|
Miche --Just for clarification, He gets a job and after couple months:"**it is too hard", "I hate my boss"...I feel like killing my self.** refers to what HE says not what YOU say, right?
Perhaps he IS clinically depressed. " I feel like killing myself" may sound like an offhand remark...but could he be trying to send a message? Just to be on the safe side, I would take him to a physician ( He may have underlying medical problems, too).
---Donna66 on 6/22/10|
\\I know what the bible says about men who do not work-provide for their family\\
Where did you get the idea this passage was just talking about men?
**He gets a job and after couple months:"it is too hard", "I hate my boss"...I feel like killing my self.**
As francis put it, it's very rare that a mature man does not want to work. Men have identified with their jobs and careers since Adam.
It's possible that your husband is just lazy, but it could also be that he's suffering from severe clinical depression.
And what good will killing yourself do? I doubt it would help him keep a job.
---Cluny on 6/21/10|
First of all if any of your husbands have health problems, then that is one reason they don't want to work. Some may be lazy, and some just can't take orders..My advice would be to do everything you can to start your own business if you can. Start part time, take a 10% of that and put in a savings account..buy and resale used items, look for things people are getting rid of for free and sale,it is a good way to start. GOOD LUCK!!!
---a_friend on 6/21/10|
I'm married for 16 years, and we've 2 daughters. When we got married, he quit making money (insurance sales), and has been on and off work ever since. I work full time, and I have a hard time keeping up with the bills. He borrows $$$ from friends and family, and any $20 dollar bill is enough for him. He gets a job and after couple months:"it is too hard", "I hate my boss"...I feel like killing my self.
---Eliana on 6/21/10|
It is extremely rare that a MAN does not want to work.
It may be that he is depressed, it may be that he is fustrated with his emplotment.
You do need to dig deeper, men by nature love to work, and are defined in many cases by thier work.
You two need to communicate and open up to each other.
There is a problem, but it is most likely not a desire to be unemployed
---francis on 5/28/10|
I get the feeling that there's something here you're not telling us, miche--something that you may not be aware of yourself.
\\I am in a very difficult part of my ministry right now.\\
What's happening, catherine? Your walls are too hardened to your preaching and dancing and refusing to get saved?
|| There is much more to ministering than just having a building to go to on Sunday morning, in all your comfort zones. \\
Of course, YOU have no comfort zone, do you, catherine?
---Cluny on 5/27/10|
2 Thessalonians 3:10
For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat."
Maybe you shouldn't feed him.
---Donna66 on 5/27/10|
KICK THE BUM OUT!!!!!Well, that's not very Christian like. Oh get over it. Like God said, "let me be the judge of that"....God has given me my own ministry, and it's going to be different from anyones since the Bible was written. I am in a very difficult part of my ministry right now. There is much more to ministering than just having a building to go to on Sunday morning, in all your comfort zones. Wherever I go it is my pulpit. Wherever God sends me it is my pulpit. Ahh Jesus.
---catherine on 5/26/10|
Has your husband told you why he doesn't want to work? My husband quit his job 2 years ago (without discussing it with me) and has not been interested in work since. I'm on disability, go to school fulltime and work. Needless to say, I'm very disappointed in my husband. I truly do not feel like he wants to take care of his family anymore. My daughters fiance is very upset and tells my daughter he wants to say something to him but out of respect for me he remains quiet. I don't know what to do...
---Kimbery on 5/26/10|
I can see from the other posts that I am not alone. My husband has been unemployed for 3 years. For most of the time,he has laid on the couch and slept.His unemployment has run out and we are loosing our house. I work full time and just do not make enough for us to live on. Hubby has become very verbally abusive and now has started throwing things. We have two teenagers and he treats them badly. Calls the kids and I very nasty names. I am very concerned about his mental state. I know that the bible says that the man is the head of the family but he has put me into the position of having to take this role. I was raised with the "stand by your man" attitude, but I am considering leaving this 29 year marrage.
---Phyllis on 4/30/10|
My husband has not worked for 2 years even He is smart intellectualy, but unable to keep a job. He has always been late for work and thinks he isuperior to everyone else. I am sick and tired of this behavior. He never cleans the house.....lazy, lazy, lazy. I am tired of his behavior.
---sara on 4/15/10|
I am in a similiar situation to you. Please let me know how you are handling this situation. I'm so frustrated, and he refuses to see the unfairness in this situation. He gets to stay home and play w/ the kids, while I have to go to work, do the housework, and be the disciplinarian.
We have 3 kids 4-12 yrs old. We've been married 15 years, he's only worked 6! (He did have a back injury and now a knee injury, but relies on workman's comp for his part of the family income.) I love him but have lost respect for him. Is it wrong for me to want to move on?
---Donna on 2/16/10|
After being on a job for 19 years I was laid off in 2003. It took one year of searching before I found another job. With so many people losing their jobs, things are much worse for people now who are looking for than it was back then.
---Rob on 10/26/09|
Allyson we are praying for you. I've been without full-time work for months but I've sent out hundreds of resumes and am working three part-time jobs including lawns, so I don't have much sympathy for your hubby. Still what we need is a solution.
1. make sure you don't go to bed without praying TOGETHER. If he won't initiate prayer start praying out loud from your pillow. I know of NO couples who are praying together and moving apart or further from the Lord period.
2. Prayer is agreement with God and if your hubby's conscience has not been seared he will be moved to action.
3. Don't first ask God for a job for your husband, ask him instead to "provide" for he is a God of provision.
---larry_original on 10/26/09|
My husband was laid off last Dec. - that's almost a yr. ago. His excuse for not looking very hard is anything & everything. Ohio does have a 16% unemployment rate...but I say: Bible states a man who doesn't provide for his family is as an infidel and unbeliever in God's eyes. Also, he could look at it differently, 16% UNemployment is 84% EMPLOYMENT! This man goes to church every week...yet doesn't mind letting me bear the financial burdens, barely helps out at home AND let his mom write ME a letter on how I don't save money!! I'm so wanting to call it quits. The ONLY reason I haven't is I don't want to give him more excuses to be a quitter - this time with church.
---Allyson on 10/26/09|
If its a financial burden, then he should work, and he should want to take care of his family reagardless. Through prayer, you will know what to do. I think if its not a joint effort, its time for you to move on!
---marca on 10/14/09|
I knew i was not alone, My husband wont work, clean or cook...I come home from work trying to feed kids and he is upset cause im too tired to please him...I have no help at all and i feel like he is of no use to me or the children, it pains me to get up every morning to go to work and he sleeps late and eat all day. He says that he cant find work, Im trying to figure out just when do he look for work...I try telling him Its a sin to be lazy, and a man suppose to work to the sweat of his eyebrows. Still nothing works...at least not him.
---Sabrena on 10/14/09|
2Corinthians 8:21, 1Timothy 5:8.
God tells us to correct a brother who sins *1, and a Christian has to be able to receive discipline from the Lord *2: either through his word *3, or through correction brought by other Christians *4.
p.s. Wife, 1Corinthians 11:3-10, 13, 15-16, 14:34-35, Ephesians 5:22-24, 33, Colossians 3:18, 1Timothy 2:11-14, Titus 2:5, 1Peter 3:1-2, 5-6 / Husband, 1Corinthians 7:33, Ephesians 5:25-29, 31, 33, Colossians 3:19, 1Timothy 5:8, 1Peter 3:7.
*1 2Thesalonians 3:6, 2John 1:9-11.
*2 Proverbs 3:11-12 / Hebrews 12:5-11, 1Corinthians 11:31-32 , Revelations 3:19.
*3Hebrews 4:12, 2Timothy 3:16-17.
*4 1Corinthians 2:15, 5:3, 11-13, 6:4, 11:31.
---Glenn on 8/15/09|
don't feed him a man who will not work should not eat!
Having said that my dear mother fed washed his clothes and provided a roof over my dad's head she wasn't christian then after 27 years eventually when the violence and women got too bad she kicked him to the kerb! (divorced him)
---Carla3939 on 8/12/09|
My husband has been unemployed for 1 1/2 years straight. He has not worked or has been under-employed for 8 years. He has taken our equity line of credit that I was saving for an emergency (collapsed sewer, etc.) and used it for another of his (many)failed business schemes. He sometimes will make a little cash to keep himself in gas, movies, new t-shirts, etc. doing odd jobs, preaching at programs.I pay all of the bills. My older son (33 yrs.) is disabled. He chips in which is a blessing.
---nara on 8/11/09|
How about those men (women too) who marry, hang around for awhile, clean the womans bank account, dissapear and do the same elsewhere? Suppose he did this 3 times. Whose husband is he that that woman should wait for him? Should they all wait for him to return? Should they all remain celibate? Is it a sin to move on, rebuild a ruined life and start again?
Well, whosoever is not a sinner please keep on talking and advising.
---Nana on 5/14/09|
Only unbelievers can get divorced for being dissatisfied with marriage, unless believers spouse commits adultery. If you can not be celibate once divorced then you should stay married. (1Cor 7-8-9) You might ask what am I suppose to do with my spouse. You must surrender him to God and model Christ through your actions. (1 Cor 7:14) (John 17:19) I discovered the only way that things could be changed in my family was to read, mediate and live the Word of God. Fireproof is a great movie that captures the concept. Peter Pan Syndromme and Wendi Dilemma captures this relationship.
---Rose on 5/13/09|
Thank goodness there is someone out there like me. I am struggling with the same situation. I do not know what to do. I have two children in college to support. Our money is stretched to thin. I do not think he wants to work at all.
---Susan on 5/5/09|
Everyone belongs to God. That is why it is wrong to sell yourself to the devil. First, God made us, so he owns us. Second, he bought us back from the devil through Jesus Christ His only Son. He owns us twice over. If we are disobedient, we will choose our own destination in the Lake of Fire. The warnings have been given. There is no excuse. Be sanctified and stay faithful to God.
---frances008 on 5/1/09|
If you do not belong to God, you do not have to please God or go with the word of God. There are two sets of people in this world. Those who are saved and those who are lost. Unbelievers do not know what is right. And believers knows but don't always do what is right. However, believers do have the living God to guide them into everlasting truth.
---catherine on 4/30/09|
Who ARE these holier than thou people who talk down to someone in need?! My gosh people, lighten up and get a heart. This woman came here looking for help, not your ATTITUDE. This guy is a lame oaf, who needs to get a grip . . . AND a job. I love the "starve 'em out" suggestion, although frankly when it gets to this point, then you end up feeling disgusted no matter what. Ugh, what a choice!
---Beth on 4/30/09|
My dad had the same problem, but my mom did not work either because she had 4 kids to take care of. When it came time that the power, water, and gas bills were so late that they were going to be cut off, and the food was running out (she had stored lots of dryed goods) the church we were attending wanted to step in and pay the bills. She would not allow them to do this, and all utilities were cut off. She also locked up and hid all the food, and would only let the kids eat. It only took a few days of this and he had a job, and kept a job all the way to retirement. "If you don't work you don't eat."
---chris on 3/28/09|
I am in the same position and I have been for 20 years, I have finally decided to leave. I refuse to pay all of these bills by myself any longer, so by default a seperation will take place. I have searched the scriptures and I just don't have an answer. The bible says that for the hardness of their hearts he allowed for a divorce. I have no respect for him, nor can I pretend. He does not care, the many evictions that me and kids have faced, ment nothting to him. If you get an answer please let me know. I have stayd because I thought it was Biblical, but there is nothing Godly about staying in a marriage full of bitterness, and strife.
---Renee on 11/8/08|
I, too, have the same problem. He is able bodied but just too lazy to work. He does not even help around the house although in his mind he thinks he does a lot. I need some guidance because I do not think a wife should suffer like this for years. It has been three years since he quit his job. And he claims to be a Christian.
---holly on 10/24/08|
You really put no conditions on the original statement starting this blog. Is this man not LOOKING for work, or is there no SUITABLE work available? When I was laid off from an engineering position in the automotive industry, with 2 BS degrees and a 1/2 a MS degree, it took several years to get going again. Along the way? A meddling mother who FORCED me to take temp labor jobs with illegal immigrants at $8 an hour with no benefits. (Not a living wage.) When I refused those, she had me forcibly medicated for "depression". While working those sub standard jobs, I was forced to turn down many interview offers. Now? Am working in another state for 8 times her "wage" and have no mental health issues.
---obewan on 6/30/08|
Are you walking close enough to God sos He can help you? If the answer is no, you had better.
---catherine on 6/30/08|
There isn't anything inherently wrong with a man not working, if there's a viable reason for it--poor health, attending school, lack of employment in the area, etc.
As for supporting a household, the virtuous woman (the one whose worth was more than rubies) in the Bible supported her household, so that her husband had time to consult with the elders of the town. So there is Biblical support of women being the bread earners of the family.
If your husband's lack of working is causing financial problems, then you have a real problem that must be addressed. But house-husbandry is a viable alternative to a "traditional" family structure, and is a perfectly honorable way of organizing a household.
---Nancy on 6/30/08|
This may be the Scripture the lady is refering to:
1 Timothy 5:8: "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."
---Nana on 6/3/08|
" I know what the bible says about men who do not work-provide for their family,"
Can you give book, chapter, and verse for this?
According to the Bible, BOTH were supposed to help provide for their family.
It's entirely possible that your husband might be suffering from clinical depression or some other PHYSCIAL ailment. It wouldn't hurt to check him out medically.
And in case you haven't heard, this is not the easiest economic enviornment for the unemployed.
---kumquat on 5/31/08|
Just as I've said before 9 times out of 10 what a person does during dating is what they do in marriage. You have to look at a person's family believe it or not and that gives you answers to a lot of questions.
---Senya on 5/28/08|
Miche....It appears that had you talked to your husband before making this post, you would not have had to post it. Communication is one of the top priorities in a marriage. It runs a close second to Committment. Talk to your husband, not everybody else. God Bless! I'll be praying for your family.
---KarenD on 5/28/08|
Your husband is in the wrong. Your husband is responsible for you. Seek God, and He will help you.
---catherine on 5/28/08|
Thanks for everyone's advice. Good news...we have talked. I have mentioned to see our pastor for counsel. He said that he appreciated my attitude towards him (God can change us from the inside out). He has seen the light of his fault and will do what's right for our family! I appreciate your prayers.
---miche4754 on 5/28/08|
Dearest,This website welcomes these kinds of questions through their PenPal agenda.However, use much discretion. This post should be used only to answer questions concerning God and the Bible...Personal stuff is just that.Personal...Let me recommend taking it only to God and a very good best friend and then keep the words and information limited.
Words are Power.We don't need to give our words away unless it concerns the Word of God.And the Word of God is God's Word that changes lives.
---Elisabeth on 5/28/08|
You poor dear. My first advice would be not to blog about controversial subjects, then your name won't be used to write up these types of embarrassing questions.
I'm glad my husband doesn't need to work, and my children are all in their right minds, no one has run away from home, including me, the wife.
---Marcia on 5/28/08|
|Read These Insightful Articles About Education
My advice would be first to talk to your husband, try to find out why he does not want to work, then talk to your Pastor he/she may have some suggestions, try to find out if there is some psychological problem your husband is having, did he get good performance reviews on his previous jobs, maybe he needs to be motivated, there could be many reasons he refuses to work and has decided to change roles.
---Karen on 5/28/08|
2. I realise that we all have different opinions about some things but there is much inconsistency in individuals. Forgive me if I'm wrong Rebecca, but I think you are one of the bloggers who has mentioned being submissive on a few occasions of, just maybe, I'm confusing you with someone else.
---RitaH on 5/28/08|
I find it strange that, on so many occasions, we are told here that (no matter what the circumstances) wives are to obey their husbands or be in submission to them etc. Then we get an answer to a question like this saying "Don't feed him." and another "If he wants to be childish, then treat him like a child. Give him $5.00 a week or $10.00 every two weeks. If he wants more money, make him earn it." We get a lot of contradictions here.
---RitaH on 5/28/08|
I suggest you seek marital therapy and find out if there is some underlying problem that is causing your husband's unwillingness to work, for example could he be suffering from depression or some other issue that is keeping him from seeking employment?
---Trish9863 on 5/27/08|
Miche4754. if your husband is able to work, but will not work, the answer is very simple and is found in 2 Thessalonians 3:10.
---Rob on 5/27/08|
Miche: I'd make him work. It is okay for one to be lazy at times, but not all day long. If this is his choice, and he is able to work and doesn't help around the house or help with kids (if have any). Then I would give him an allowance. The money you earn should go to the bills, groceries and keep the rest. If he wants to be childish, then treat him like a child. Give him $5.00 a week or $10.00 every two weeks. If he wants more money, make him earn it. Bottom line, you don't work, you don't eat.
---Rebecca_D on 5/27/08|
Don't feed him, :-) I'm praying for you both.
---deb on 5/27/08|