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Is My Wife A Christian

Can any one please tell me how I can tell if my wife is really a Christian? For the life of me I can't tell. I've never heard her speak in tongues, or praise the Lord in Church. I find it very hard to praise the Lord my self when I'm around her.

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 ---Brain on 7/1/08
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Neither of the two you mention are outward symptoms of a heart in christ. Everyone has various gifts and really , it is OK for women to remain silent in church. When you read the bible, and you place that bible as a yard stick in your marriage... either it adds up or it does not.
---wal_rev on 10/21/08

Speaking in tongues is a gift and is not to be taken as a sign of a person being a Christian since they may not have this gift. As far as "praising the Lord" is concerned, she may be doing it in a different form than you are use to or want.
If you are having doubts just based on these two areas, they aren't good as a "yard stick"to evaluate a persons salvation. Only by accepting Christ as Savoir are you a Christian, not be the gifts you may have or form of worship you may desire.
---wivv on 7/9/08

believers do have the right to judge...(and then they have to put away respect of persons and get about their Father's business.)

At the same time a husband is commanded to present his wife to the Lord---How??? (eph. 5)

I understand from personal experience what it is to be utterly reduced to tears from the cruelty of a carnal spouse, and I can Promise you BROTHER, that the only progress you'll make in your marriage will come from discerning and whrenching out what she needs most from you.

That is the demand of holiness friends, and anything less is compromised effort to live the life God has set before you. We should know and others believe because we carefully provide for those who it's given to us to care for.
---Pharisee on 7/9/08

The next time you praise the Lord, ask for her hand and lift your hands and close your eyes and begin praising and magnifying the Lord in the Holy Spirit, you will know then if she is in the body or else separate from Christ.
---Eloy on 7/7/08

I have to agree with Rebecca D on this one: However, because hypocrites are taking over the churches of today, you might try asking your wife for her salvatiuon testamony, if you are in doubt. [MAKE SURE OF YOUR OWN SALVATION]. If you should ever find out that she is not saved, remember, saving someone you can not do, and it's not your job. Only Jesus through His Blood can save a lost soul. Your job, my friend, is to pray and let stand. And one other thing: believers do have the right to judge whether or not the living God lives in a person. God in His very own word, "said so".
---catherine on 7/6/08


I emphacize grace in the home because you can't make anyone's mind up for them, and it's just harder to live with someone if your always trying to look after them spiritually. Someone always ends up resenting the other. The only thing remaining is to be sanctified yourself and to provide inspiration to those around you.

I understand how frustrating it is to have to be the strong one all the time, but this is your time, your chance to move closer to the flame. A divine assignment to reflect the nature of Jesus. His judgment is stayed until the end of the age, so you should put yours away too.

If you can't remember what your supposed to do, just ask yourself what Jesus did the last time you sinned.
---Pharisee on 7/5/08

If you can't tell if your wife is saved or not, then one of you has a problem and chances are it is is her. Because even sinners can see a difference in a person who converts over to Christ. No body needs to speak in tongues to prove to anyone that they are saved. I do not speak in tongues and I know beyond of shadow of a doubt that I am saved. Everyone praises God in their own way. When it comes to praising the Lord in church, I'm not so quite. But my husband is, well he is starting to let lose. You are letting things around you get in the way of you worshiping God. That's your fault. You work on you, and let the Lord work on your wife. Cause if you intervene and tell your wife how to praise God, it will backfire.
---Rebecca_D on 7/4/08


It wasn't long ago that I was in a back sledding state. The Lord just recently gave me the mind and strength to pray and seek him. I only recently started going back to church. So yes I'm not strong as of yet, but hopeful one day soon. I'm truly thankful for the Lord's mercy. It's hard when two strong willed people are married. Our daughter even has a will to do her own thing and she just turned nine.

---Brian on 7/2/08


No, I'm not physically scare of her. I just had a real bad experience during our first year of marriage and it left an impression. Imagine having a wife who works for the prison system. She come home and treat you the same why one would treat an inmate. There's a certain why you have to treat them (inmates), with firmness and authority . You can't let those people run over you, It could mean your life. But one must leave their job at work and not bring it home with them, but I don't blame her.

---Brian on 7/2/08


It is easy to seem devout and parrot religious-sounding words, without being sincere. How does she act during the rest of the week when she's not in church? Is she level-headed? Does she avoid idle gossip? Does she help people in need? These are MUCH more important.

Matthew 7:21-23:
"21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven, but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity."
---StrongAxe on 7/2/08

"I find it very hard to praise the Lord my self when I'm around her."

That's not a good example of the unshakable peace we recieve in close fellowship with the Lord. Playing devil's advocate is not my purpose, but I can tell you for sure that if your knocked off your square that easily you've got work to do showing your wife more grace.

That however is between you and God just like her salvation, call off the witch hunt and instead convince yourself she can do no wrong, she needs your support and maybe you need some practice.

With that I'll butt out, may your house be blessed, and I hope you recieve the assurance you seek. Keep the faith Brother.
---Pharisee on 7/1/08

Brian you are physically afraid of your wife? Wow I feel for ya, buddy. My advice, like with any bully, you should stand up to her. Stand on God's principles. Follow God regardless of what her reaction will be. Above all, win her to Christ with the love you show her. :-)

Sometimes we get in a rut and think of our spouse as the enemy. I think this is error. We should continually try to look at our spouse through God's eyes. :-)

See her as the person God would have her be. She is His baby, and He can change her heart. Maybe He'd like to use you to do it. :-)
---Todd1 on 7/1/08

Yes Trish & Todd & others.
The fruits are the important evidence.
Tongues is only one of the gifts, and Paul allocated it's position in the list
---alan_of_UK on 7/1/08

I can only use so many text writing my questions. I didn't say that speaking in tongues or praising the Lord was the only sign to proving a person was a Christian.
I got married before I even knew if she had accepted Christ into her life. She's what some would call a church hopper. If I were to ask her if she was a Christian now, man would she be offended. I don't scare very easily but
Shes the kind of person that will psychically keep you from leaving a room. Now that scares me!!! And I know that God has not given us the Spirit of fear. I know this is a one sided story and there are two side to it.

---Brian on 7/1/08

Amen Trish9863!

Gal 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law."

That is how we are to know whether someone is Christian or not...we shall know them by their fruits (matt 7:16)

We must not confuse the "fruit of the Spirit" with the "gifts of the Spirit" (1 Cor 12 - wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, miracles, prophecying, speaking/interpreting tongues, etc.)

We are not to judge anyone based on the "gifts" of the Spirit. Whether true or false (that's another blog)
---Todd1 on 7/1/08

I can tell you this,The Holy Spirit whom dwells within me will tell me if someone or something is wrong.

But have you not heard that not all people worship God the same ?? Some are jumping out of their seats and some worship very quitely and most of the time their more filled with the Holy Spirit than the ones jumping up and down. I can sit at home with no one here and be so filled with the Holy Spirit then I do in church. And Tongues> There are 2 tongues in the Bible Pentecost & Unknown,we don't need an interpetuer to tell us what God is saying. God says "Be still & know that I am God. Gabby8758
---Gabby on 7/1/08

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The question is Brian, "Are you a christian?" If the only criteria you use to qualify anyone as a christian is whether they "speak in tongues or praise the Lord" you need to ask yourself what are you basing your salvation on? Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to the Father, not our works or self-righteousness or supposed "gifts."
---TOMMY3007 on 7/1/08

I totally agree w. Trisha. Pray for you wife, but #1 & most importantly keep working on yourself. She will come around to speaking in tongues, etc in her time not your's.
A pastor once said that when he first got saved his wife didn't speak in tongues, but he did. Well he prayed for her. True it caused tension at times, but he believed God that He would do a work in her & eventually she came around to it. Speaking in tongues doesn't make you a christian, it is just one of the many benefits of being a christian.
---Rickey on 7/1/08

Brian, Jesus said, "you shall know them by their fruit." The fruit of the Holy Spirit is: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance.
If she is developing these in her life, and obeying the Word of God then she is a Christian. Some people make Jesus their Savior, but not Lord of their life. It doesn't matter whether or not she speaks in tongues. My husband did and acted like the devil due to not forgiving anyone in his past that hurt him and thus developing a root of bitterness. Pray for her. Ask Father God for the Grace and Mercy she needs to grow in the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Power of HIS might.
---donna8365 on 7/1/08

Here's a test. Can this person actually say Jesus Christ outloud? Have you heard this person say the Name of Jesus Christ?

Can this person say that Jesus Christ came to earth in the flesh?
Have you ever heard this person confess that Jesus Christ is their Lord and Savior?

If they cannot make any of these specific confessions - Houston, we have a problem.
I have noticed that there are even people visiting here that cannot say or write the Name of Jesus Christ, confess Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.
---Elder on 7/1/08

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Jesus said that you will know His followers by their fruit. Is this person bringing forth good fruit (the fruit of the Spirit), or bad fruit (the fruit of the flesh)? Galatians 5:16-26 talk about this. If you yourself cannot praise God (be yourself) while around her, then you know she at least has some kind of demonic spirit attached to her, and may not even be a Christian.
---Leslie on 7/1/08

No two Christians are exactly alike. We have different personalities, so will praise the Lord in different ways, some gentle and quiet, some very outgoing and more obvious. God has not given the same gift to all His children, not all speak in tongues, not all heal, not all prophesy. If you are looking for someone just like yourself as the proof of an individual's salvation you will probably believe that many who are saved are not saved and that is sad as you'll miss out on real Christian fellowship with many people.
---RitaH on 7/1/08

Speaking in tongues and praising the Lord in church are not fruit of the Spirit. Read Galatians to learn what the fruit are, and then you will know.

Pray for your wife and then work on your own relationship with the Lord. Stop looking at her.
---Trish9863 on 7/1/08

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