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Can I Remarry My Husband

I still love my ex. We're divorced 3 years. He remarried last year but continued to talk to me daily. Now his wife has found out and he won't speak to me anymore. He has been telling her that we don't talk except for emergencies and for the children. Is it biblically OK to remarry him if he were divorced?

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Thank you for the advice.
---David on 1/11/18


I was merely addressing whoever posted on this blog, regardless of who that was. If you have a name that is confused with someone else, you might consider picking one that is less likely to be confused. One way to do this is to get an account here and post that way. Accounts here are names followed by 4 digit numbers. Another way is to pick a unique nickname that is unlikely to be confused. This is what I did. (I first posted under Mark when I jointed, but there was someone else who used that name, so I picked this one to avoid confusion).
---StrongAxe on 12/29/17

Be informed, there is one other person on CN who posts as David, though his posts are being credited along with mine. The David who you are talking with is not me.
---David on 12/29/17


When you post on these blogs, it is a good idea to look at the dates on the original blog and on the replies to it. The last message here was posted almost 5 years ago, and all of the posters on this blog have been gone from this site for many years. I have been here for many years, and I don't recognize any of the names.
---StrongAxe on 12/29/17

"Understand that you all have already gone against the scripure." How can you make such a statement without knowing if indeed she divorced him. if she didn't divorce him then she didn't do anything wrong!
---David on 12/28/17

You want a biblical answer. Understand that you all have already gone against the scripure. Your ex already commits adultery to divorce and marry another. He will go against scripture to divorce the woman with whom he is now married. But of the matter you ask, the Bible does address. Read Deuteronomy 24:1-4. The short is that as long as you have not married someone else, he can marry you again. But he is not to divorce his present wife. I do not think you two are as generous as Isaiah 4:1.
---bike on 1/20/13

Still waiting?Either of you genuine in Jesus? Romans 8:16 "The Spirit bear witness with our spirit, we are the children of God? Have daily quite time in Scripture? What is Jesus saying about situation? What He confirms follow. God makes covenant with initial marriage. Scripture say marriage for man with a woman, not for Hebrews. We in Christ Jesus adopted, Abraham, Isaac & Jacob our line also. Bible is a whole not Old vs. New. Other men, women relationships called marriages places women in concubine status. Example Abram (Abraham),Sarai and servant Hagar elevated to concubine to birth heir: tired of waiting on God to preform promise. Believe God. He speaks through Scripture and to our spirit, Listen, Sing a Psalm daily!
---Agape on 1/19/13

I would be real careful about him, even though you may still love him he may just be useing you and you don't want to fall in the same trap that I did. For 14 years my husband would leave me for another woman and because I still love him I all ways forgave him and took him back, and nothing never changed when he got tired of the way things were going he would leave again, instead of working things out. he has left me again just this past Jan. and when things start going bad for him again he will try to come back. I do still love him but for my own sake I can not take him back this time, and if you fall in to this trap it will get harder and harder for you to see things clearly, so think long and hard before getting back with him
---Connie on 6/28/11

The majority of individuals are wrong in their views here. If I am understanding this right and the first wife is the one asking the question, then the ex-husband is living in adultery even, if he did marry again. Someone referred to Old Testament. Well, in the New Testament, Jesus reilleterated the Marriage covenant of God. Moses did a human thing because of the hardness of the peoples hearts. It was not a law from God. Jesus states to remain to the spouse of your youth. If you divorce and marry again you are committing adultery and cause the one you divorced to commit adultery. There is a penalty to this sin. You probably will walk alone, or innocent children will suffer.
---pjc on 6/25/11

Shalom, greetings in Jesus name, have been studying this subject in both hebrew and chrisitian format, biblically there is a reason why the Bible is very specific and one reason is because Jesus Yeshua loves you very much, and because being with Him in eternity is best, I believe you know the answer, the question I have for you is why would you want to marry someone who already is married and why are you talking with him and interfering with the marriage, Biblically you know that once he is remarried he cannot remarry you, and there is no grounds for a divorce, pray for their marriage and talk with her more, Pray for God to help you move on, this is why divorce is difficult, God Bless you, write if you need to talk, donnie this is a female name
---donnie on 10/16/09

1Sa 18:27...And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife.
1Sa 25:40-44
And when the servants of David were come to Abigail
...David sent us unto thee, to take thee to him to wife.

David also took Ahinoam of Jezreel,
and they were also both of them his wives.

But Saul had given Michal his daughter, David's wife,
to Phalti the son of Laish, which was of Gallim.

2Sa 3:14-16
And David sent messengers to Ishbosheth Saul's son,
saying, Deliver me my wife Michal...

And Ishbosheth sent, and took her from her husband,
even from Phaltiel the son of Laish.

And her husband went with her along weeping behind her to Bahurim.
Then said Abner unto him, Go, return. And he returned.
---SuzieH on 6/14/09

If you are his first wife if he wanted you back and you have not had another relationship with someone else although not permitted in the Old Testament in Deuteronomy.

Moses made certain Laws to break the relationship of marriage because the men were becoming harsh towards their wives for every type of reason and for peace sake he granted divorce.

If your assuming that he will be coming back to you just because it has not worked out between him and the other woman just remember the vows have already been broken from the security of the first marital relationship and stability is going to be your biggest issue is it worth the heart break over again only you can decide?
---Carla3939 on 6/13/09

Biblically, it is not OK to remarry a spouse if either of you had married another after your divorce. The Bible specifically disallows that scenario. Had he never remarried, then it would not only be OK, but encouraged to have a marriage relationship restored.
---jerry on 6/8/09

It would be wrong for him to divorce his wife and marry you. Leave him alone, he's married. You have no business in his life other than your children.
---john on 6/2/09

And your point is, Watchmaster?? Kind of going around Robin Hood's barn here.
---kandee on 6/2/09

The ? is first are either of you saved.If he is born again he now can only divorce his wife because of adultry, and if thats not the case and she is an unbeliever he couldnt leave the marriage and if she be please to dwell with him he has to let her stay.If divorce was to be given it would have to be her or vice verser him being an unbeliever .study 1Corinth7:1-40 god bless
---laverne on 6/1/09

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Kandee:Being a teacher, Truth is contained in the saying"Honesty is the best policy "and strengthened By Gods word in Genesis. 2:24-25" cemented with the admonishon, "What God hath joined together let no man put asunder".There is a reason for such of Gods WORD, if all in Humanity will find out this truth.Remenber we are all made in the image and likenes of God. WHY?
---Watchmaster on 6/1/09

Even just thinking about fornication is the same as committing it in God's eyes.

Marriage is ALSO a legally binding relationship between two people. eg. you agree to honour and care for each other,remain faithful etc.

Because of the legal rights it confers, some countries these days give de-facto relationships that meet certain criteria the same legal status as a marriage to ensure parties are protected from financial abuse.

Its a well established principle that if ONE party breaks a condition of a contract, one that relates to the very substance of the contract, the OTHER party is immediately released from any further obligation to meet their side of the bargain.
---Des on 6/1/09

I'm very aware of what the Bible says, Carla. If you'd read "efficiently" what my blogs tell you, you'd PROBABLY be able to see that for yourself. I'm not a new christian, been one for 50 years now. AND like I said I waited for 34 years for my husband to repent and become a christian too. Abuse goes just so far and God does not want his children to be abused and miserable. I don't need a study guide to the Bible. I, on the other hand am a teacher and have very good study and reading skills. I also have the Lord whom I love and He is my guide. Thank you for all of your advice anyway!!
---kandee on 6/1/09

Thank you, Renee. I am now remarried to a Christian who too comes from a very abusive past. We work together with God as the center of our home to support and love each other. I know what the Bible says about marriage,,divorce..remarriage..and that is why I "tarried" for 34 years hoping my x would accept the Lord and stop his abusive ways., physically,,mentally,, and morally. God planned for two people to be together forever after the marriage vows, but you know, many times that does not happen. I am not asking for a pat on the shoulder for being divorced and remarried but kind words from other Christians outweigh the criticism and judgment others show.
---kandee on 6/1/09

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I think that it is great if you can find forgiveness in your heart for your x. That is a part of healing and that is very Christian.
I do think that if he was abusive that maybe you are hanging on to something other than love and forgiveness.
You must find healing for yourself. God made you to be strong and happy. Forgive and heal you and then forgive him and move on loving God and yourself as much as God loves you.
Wouldn't it be great if you could find the good Christian man that God has picked for you? Good luck.
---Renee on 5/31/09


It's obvious that you are not aware of what the bible teaches on marriage never mind re-marriage promise me this one thing get a study Guide and read the bible Seek, and you will find knock and the door to Christ will be open, he that seeks find and he that knocks the door will open!
---Carla3939 on 5/31/09

I divorced my husband because of his abusive ways. He was not nor is he today a Christian, Carla. Have you ever heard of the term "forgiveness" in the Bible or has it ever been preached by your pastor? You may be one of the very best Christians to ever walk the face of the earth but God, and ONLY God is my judge. You make NO room in your comments to consider God's forgiveness and as to some of your comments you are playing God on here. You have NO idea how the Lord may be working in the lives of others just because you see things as you do. Sorry, but that is the way you come across.
---kandee on 5/30/09

Christ said that a man should not divorce his wife except SHE commits Fornication. Mat 19:9

If you marry again while your husband lives and your husband divorced you for any other reason than Fornication and both or even one re-marries who ever re-married shall be an Adulterer and have no part in the Kingdom of Heaven and to teach otherwise claiming that one can going against bible teaching causes you to offend and shall be in judgement for doing so.

---Carla3939 on 5/29/09

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Oh, I'm not disappointed and neither did this (not mine) Pastor lie to me. I SAID he takes each verse and explains divorce and the Biblical allowances for it. As for remarriage he does NOT agree with it. However, he states that IF divorce occurs and remarriage also, we are to take hold of the moment, go forward, ask forgiveness of our sins, live for the Lord, but do NOT make a second mistake by marrying a non-christian. I am so glad Christ is my judge and not people.
---kandee on 5/28/09

I have been searching this site for many answers for my own actions. As I read many of others questions and responses I am disturbed. Some of these people know(like myself)that they have already sinned. I know what the Bible says about divorce but I also know that the God I believe in forgives me for the sins I have committed except for the unpardonable sin of when someone claims God's spirit is Satan. Don't get me wrong I don't think it's ok to do what ever you want as long as you ask for forgiveness. I am having a difficult time referring back to this site for some people are so quick to start responding with verses and just about every question I have looked at carla3939 seems to know the Bible and everything it stands for. Congratulations.
---stcann on 5/27/09

God did not create us to be perfect that is why Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Not everyone has been in the same situations or had to deal with the easy choices in life.
---stcann on 5/27/09

Jesus prohibited divorce except for Adultery, that included lying about ones virginity. The non adulterer could remarry. The adulterer was not free to marry, and anyone marrying one is entering a prohibited marriage. A divorce without cause, was no divorce, and so, another marriage was a type of bigamy. The exception is in 1Corinthians 7:15. If the unbeliever departs, the Christian can remarry because the marriage was not 'in the Lord'.
Deuteronomy 22:17-19, 28-29, 24:1-4, Proverbs 2:17 (forsaketh husband), Isaiah 54:4-8, Jeremiah 3:1, Malachi 2:14-16.
Matthew 5:31-32, 19:3-12, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18, 1Corinthians 6:15-16, 7:10-17, 27.
1Timothy 3:1-15, Titus 1:6-9, 1Peter 5:2-3.
---Glenn on 5/27/09

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The questions might be:
Have you remarried someone else? Were there grounds for divorce, i.e. adultery? Was your marriage to him in conflict with the verses in part 2? However, someone in this situation is not prepared for marriage to anyone. Why would you speak to someone without the spouses knowledge. Most people believe that you can't remarry someone after he marries someone else. If so, break the "soul tie". In other words, if you improperly desire a person, God can help you to get set free. One of the reasons God does not approve of fornication is because of this yearning for someone later on in life.
---Glenn on 5/27/09


I don't wish to disappoint you but your Pastor lied to you for the bible says Matt 19:9, Matt 5, Rev, Luke,Mark 10, Romans 7, 1Corin 7

That neither parties have the right to divorce and re-marry for just every particular reason , Death is the only clause which separates in both parties.

Mat 19:9
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
---Carla3939 on 5/26/09

After reading the comments here I want to say that what we do in life is between the Lord and each of us. He knows our hearts and thoughts. Regardless of what choices we make in life, we need to seek the Lord's guidance. One thing many people (including Christians) forget is that Jesus forgives even the deepest sin. For those of us who are Christians and have been through a divorce AND remarriage only need to go to the Savior, ask for SINCERE forgiveness for ANY sin we have had in our lives, take hold of the moment, and go forward living for him. That new life we are experiencing may be with a new spouse. If it is make sure it is with a Christian. Christians need to be equally yolked with other Christians. That has been proven on here..
---kandee on 5/4/09

The Bible states that a man and woman have the right to be reconciled if neither one remarries another person. It states the spouse who remarried does not have the right to divorce again and remarry the first partner because your marriage has already been defiled through his remarriage. There are many things we don't understand about divorce and I wish I could give you the name of a wonderful pastor who made the principles of marriage plain and simple to me on his web site. You'd understand exactly as he takes it verse by verse and explains. However, I am glad God forgives us as sinners. Why has he stopped talking to you? If I truly loved someone I would not play both ends and the middle as he seems to be doing.
---kandee on 4/30/09

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''here are too many wives that use the threat of divorce to manipulate their husbands''.

''And they often end up losing their husbands to other women'' try Adulterers.

Thats NO LOSS!
---Carla5754 on 7/31/08

Mary: You are so right. Manipulation in marriage often leads to divorce. The thing that many wives needs to do in bad marriages is seek marital therapy, and pray, not necessarily in that order.
---Trish9863 on 7/31/08

Having read these posts brings to mind the observation that there are too many wives that use the threat of divorce to manipulate their husbands.

And they often end up losing their husbands to other women as well as depriving their children of a father.
---Maryg on 7/30/08

1Co 7:10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband
1Co 7:11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
You have NT. Scriptural advice to be reconcilled to your husband.
But seeing he is re-married there would be yet another sin by divorcing his current wife. You have no right to destroy her relationship with her husband who you rejected. You should't jump in there again and destroy that relationship so you can rekindle your.
---john on 7/29/08

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Well, guessing *a little*, here > you still love him, and would like to have him back. Sounds possible that you provoked him to a divorce, but he has something for you. Are you dominating? This can drive a guy crazy.

But numerous divorced men, I've heard, wish they had stayed with their first wives.

But this guy *lied* to her, under the pretense of treating her like she was his wife? That can take a lot of faking effort to put that over on someone. Being willing to relate falsely like that . . . could mean he's an habitual betrayer, not one for you to be in a hurry to marry. Did he betray *you*?

Get wise to yourself, in any case.
---Bill_bila5659 on 7/29/08

Mat 19:4
And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made [them] at the beginning made them male and female,

Mat 19:5
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Mat 19:6
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Mat 19:7
They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

Mat 19:8
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
---Carla5754 on 7/28/08


I too disagreed with this until I was challenged in such a way that I study the scriptures and found not one scripture pertaining to marriage in the New Testament which supports a woman remarrying other than death.

A woman was made subjected to her Husband in Bible times a man would have been the sole bread winner and would have many wives.

However the Scriptures were centered around the Jews and Gentiles were not considered Gods people. Christ spoke on marriage and gives the Scribes and the Pharisees their answer that God in the beginning did not allow divorce.
---Carla5754 on 7/28/08

Yes, because he wasn't married to the one after you. You and him will always be married no matter what. That's why Jesus said "Let no man separate the two."

Remarry him for civil matters. But, in the Catholic Church, I truly don't think the Priest would marry you again.

Marriage ia a Sacrament. You can not receive it twice. For this reason you are married still.
---Nicole on 7/27/08

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Carla: I disagree. Once her husband committed adultery, it freed her to remarry. A person is released from the marital covenant in cases of adultery.
---jody on 7/26/08

My Dear One, I think that since your husband has remarried, he has closed all the doors of reconcilation with you. I know it hurts , but to keep hoping for something that is now not God's will for your life now that he has remarried, is just putting you in a lot of unnessasary pain. Since he is the one who left and remarried, that leaves you free, (read 1 Corinthians 7) to remarry , but be very careful not to rush into anything, and approach all your relationships with much prayer. Enjoy the freedonm of being single and serving God in that singleness. He is with you. Being in a miserable marriage is much worse than being single and alone. I am sorry for your loss, but God is a God of second chances, do not despair my friend!
---char on 7/25/08

Jesus said that [except] for fornication one could not marry again or you will committ Adultery.

1 Corinthians 7 states a woman should reconcile who to? (her husband) and leaves no such clause to reject her husband should he return. However In Deut it clearly shows that God was talking to his people at that time ''The Jews'' of which (we are)''Gentiles'' whom Christ spoke concerning.

If you marry again whilst your husband lives you will commit Adultery, the woman he's with both of them are committing Adultery.

But that's not to say if he leaves her you should not want your husband back as long as he repents and serves the Lord which would be ideal, ''He Was Yours In The Beginning''.
---Carla5754 on 7/25/08

No you can't remarry him if he is divorced. It probably wouldn't be a wise idea even if he were available for marriage. What you are thinking about now are the good times you shared and not the unpleasent times that led to your divorce in the first place. More than likely, these same problems would appear again and you would divorce again. But, that's all academic at this point, since you can't marry him again anyway, even if he got divorced. (You don't state if he would marry you if he could.)
---wivv on 7/24/08

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A woman does not have any written Authority to remarry. If the husband committs Adultery
He subjects his house hold to be at the mercy of the devil.

A woman must remain unmarried as unto the Lord , 1 Corin7, Romans 7, Matt19, Matt5, she is the Lords, example further in Corith 7 A widow after 60 is also to remain unmarried, a woman widowed under this age should remarry.

Today's churches renounces it's responsibility towards its Widows/fatherless will God forget his promise towards his people.NO!

What God said he will do HE WILL DO.Consider the sparrows will your heavenly father not look after you also?.
---Carla5754 on 7/24/08

Dt 24:1 Laws Concerning Divorce
"When a man takes a wife and marries her, . . . and he writes her a certificate of divorce . . .
2 and if she goes and becomes another man's wife,
3 and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce . . . or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife,
4 then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, . . .

1st husband is prohibited from remarrying his former wife, once she marries 2nd husband.
---a_servant on 7/23/08

No, scripture states that, once divorced AND remarried, the couple should not marry each other again. It would have been different if neither of you had remarried after the divorce but he did so you must leave him to continue his life with his new wife.
---RitaH on 7/23/08

It's spiritual poison to pine away for what you lost especially now that he is remarried.

You have to consider that for this to happen his current marriage would have to fail. Is this anything less than wishing evil upon someone you claim to "love?"

That's a perversion of love. You'll always have feelings, and you need to learn to put those feelings in their proper context.

You have to continually renew your mind with the study of the word of God for you to see things as they really are. The question now is how can you pray for him according to God's will so that God can change you in prayer's practice.

The desires of the flesh are death, but to be filled with the Holy Spirit is "life and peace."
---Pharisee on 7/23/08

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No, you cannot remarry him. Scripture says to do so is an abomination. Why did you get divorced in the first place if you still love him? Let him go, and move on. Your marriage is over, and he is now married, and you are causing trouble in his current marriage.
---Trish9863 on 7/23/08

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